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| Spongebob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman Reviewed by Pirate Yoshi Over-view: Spongebob Squarepants: Krusty Krab frycook, eternal optimistic, friend to children, teens, college kids, and middle-aged bald guys around the globe. And lame video game hero. Let's stick to the frycook, optimist, and friend to everyone. Graphics: 6/10 Okay, so let's start out by saying that it's NEVER easy to take a 2-D cartoon and shift it into a third dimension...ESPECIALLY when it's a first time. But I had better hopes for Spongebob than this, and the graphics are rather blurred and choppy. The backgrounds seem lame, and the characters are a bit screwy looking. But graphics don't make a game, so I gave it a chance anyways... Sound: 6/10 ...and found the sound to be not much better. The music is rather lame and repetitive, the sound effects consist of a lot of squeaking and "boinginginging" sounds--typical cartoon effects that really don't improve or change for this game. There's a severe shortage of effort, I feel, put into this catagory. The one redeeming factor here is that the actual staff of voice actors for the cartoon lended their voices for the game as well (minus the narrator, who is quite annoying). If it were not for Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, and the rest of the gang, this catagory would sink lower and lower down into the ocean... Controls: 8.9/10 Honestly, the controls for the mainstream of the game are relatively good, with no real complaints, but the one problem that cost Spongebob a load of points here was the annoying camera, which is controlled with the C-stick. The camera frequently readjusts itself to a position where you can't see, or else will try to edge its way to a worse view than you have it set at. Spongebob, however, generally follows your commands tightly and does a good job of keeping up with your presses. If the camera was fixed up, this catagory would be much closer to being flawless. Challenge: 4/10 The challenge, quite frankly, stunk. Only now is it really apparent to me that this game was made for five year olds; tasks such as herding snails, finding characters, and catching jellyfish left me hardly entertained, and can be completed with minimal effort. The only part of the game at which I got stuck was when I became lost trying to find the next objectives; often, if you have not exactly triggered a switch in the game, you'll be left to stumble blindly for hours until you make your way back and confirm that you HAVE, in fact, found this location or character already. The game's most difficult stretch, the final level and boss battle, were laughabley easy; I felt as if I were actually the more powerful of the two of us (Floating Dutchman vs. Spongebob), and the Dutchman was in a constant struggle to try and stay alive. Kinda sad, in some ways, because I believe Spongebob Squarepants has some real potential to make a pretty cool game, but there's little "cool" in stomping through level after level with little resistance from ANYONE... Replay: 0/10 This game was not fun to play the first time really...so why would it be more fun a second time? Simple, it isn't, and if you play a second time, you're either desperate for a game to play, or you found more enjoyment out of it than I did. Though I *thought* there was something to unlock from it all, there apparently isn't, and I was very disappointed to see that all that hard work (ha ha ha....that was a good one) paid off in big, fat sums of NOTHING! Unless you really enjoyed the game, there's no reason to go playing through again. Gameplay: 3.5/10 Very pitiful. I KNOW Spongebob can do better than this! The basic idea throughout this game is "go here, get stuff, go there, do stuff." Repeat. It's all basically one huge quest, a chain of different duties that you must perform in order to win. There are a few (simple) puzzles to explore, a few (easy) villains to crush, and the only true shining point to be found is the amusing humor that comes straight out of the cartoon show, but it disappoints me to be playing just for a laugh at the clever jokes, rather than getting a solid gaming experience. If I really want to laugh, I'll go turn on my tv and watch Spongebob there, for hours on end! The levels (areas, rather) are congested, sometimes confusing places that really don't require much exploration to cover. While faithful to the television show in appearances, this game fails where the cartoon succeeds: being plain, out-right fun. **Story: .4/1 While the story is pretty simple, it's decent in comparison with most of the other aspects of the game. The evil Dutchman, in need of a ghostly crew, goes about brainwashing the innocent citizens of Bikini Bottom into joining him. Only one hero stands in his way, and that hero is yellow, spongey, and irritatingly cheerful. Spongebob Squarepants must collect the treasure of the Flying Dutchman in order to win his friends back to their senses once again. As I said, rather blunt plotline, but ANY plot is better than no plot. **Multiplayer: 0/1 This game does not support multiplayer. Graphics: 6/10 Sound: 6/10 Controls: 8.9/10 Challenge: 4/10 Replay: 0/10 Gameplay: 3.5/10 **Story: .4/1 **Multiplayer: 0/1 Total Score: 4.6 Score Explanation: As the score indicates: below average, although (obviously) worse can be done. There's just not a lot of game to play here, plain and simple. I have so far heard few good comments concerning Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom, but let us hope that he finds a knack in a future game. Until then, I'll look for my Spongebob entertainment on the television, thank you very much. I haven't seen a game quite this bad since Star Fox Adventures! |