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| Tag Team Battle: The Toads vs. The Ice Climbers |
| PrOXy: Hello there everyone, and welcome to the very first TAG team match ever hosted on Yoshi Stadium. Yes, you heard me right. You tag in, and you tag out, it’s that simple. The question is, can our competitors stay alive long enough to actually tag OUT? Yes, this should be interesting. Whomp: *HUUUMPH!* (Great day out!) PrOXy: Uhhh… sure… Well, it’s a great day today at Whomp’s Fortress, where I happily found a new co-host… ummm… a… whomp… Anyways, our first challengers today have come all the way from their icy cold mountain to join us, please give it up for the Ice Climbers! -Nana and Popo waddle into the arena, threading their way through the crowds of Whomps and Thwomps oblivious to their falling bodies. Whomp: *HuHUMPH!* (Our next competitors, Toad and Toadette!) PrOXy: Would you quit for just for a second? Yes, and now, our second tag team, Toad and Toadette! -Toad and Toadette, obviously unnerved by the Whomps, race to the center of the arena. PrOXy: And now welcome our esteemed referee, Mario! Thwomp and Whomp Crowd: *HUUUUMPH! HuhuHUMPH! * (obviously not very excited by this…) Mario to Competitors: Now-a, I wanta clean-a fight. No eye-a gouges, or thermo-a-nuclear-a weapons. Everything else-a goes. A-fight! -Toad and Popo take center while Popo and Toadette stand aside. Toad: TOOOAAAADDD! PrOXy: Ouch, that has to be embarrassing! Toad just jumped on top of Popo and made him eat his hood! I don’t… Is that even legal? Whomp: *HUMPH!* (Well, it’s not an eye gouge!) PrOXy: Somebody get a translator! P: Hmmm… Popo is getting up, and rifling through his coat, what will he pull out? (further “whompish” language is translated) W: An ice pick! Who would have guessed? Toad is right on top of him now with… it looks like some kind of… a bird? P: Why yes, yes it is. It’s a goonie, native to Yoshi’s Island. But what is he going to do with it? -Toad proceeds to ram the goonie into Popo’s coat, where he immediately takes off. P: What the…? Is this some kind of a joke? One minute into the competition and no bodily harm yet inflicted? Oh, there we go. Toad is smacking Popo as he hovers overhead. I feel ashamed just to just watch this… Toad: 100% Popo: 99.9% W: Well, will you look at that! Popo froze the goonie with a Freezie! Baseball style, the goonie is sent straight towards Toad, slamming into his head. That fall must have hurt Popo too, he’s grabbing his ankle. Toad: 95% Popo: 95% Toad: Waaaahh! P: Well, this is going nowhere, so time to add the weapons! -Several large and dangerous objects land in the arena, including a large Piranha Plant P: Oops. Well, at least it can’t make this match anymore boring. W: Toad grabs the nearest item, a Hyrulian shield. Almost as large as he is, he almost looks untouchable. Almost. Popo, for some reason grabbing onto the Piranha Plant’s neck, uproots it, and tosses it at Toad, right after he pries it’s mouth off his arm. Toad dodges, and trips over the Freezie Popo laid out for him. He instantly freezes, and as he falls, his large mushroom cap falls off and shatters. P: Wow, Toad is bald! W: Shut up, I hate you. How about that beautiful KO? P:… KO? Toad: 0% Popo: 90% P: Well, after that incredibly boring first match, it has been determined that Popo has been disqualified. KO moves such as using a Freezie are strictly against the rules of entertainment, and are punishable by… I’ll make something up. W: Throw him to the Whomps! P: That’s a good idea! Go at it Mario. -Mario and his squad of koopa bouncers throw Popo into the crowd. Popo: WAHHHHH!!!! Popo: 0% P: And I thought this would be totally bad… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P: We’re back from intermission, and the future seems grim as only the women are left. W: Nana is a woman? P: We’re working under that assumption. So far, this TAG team battle has not lived up to it’s name, and it now never will. In an effort to make the next match more heart stopping and death defying, Nana and Toadette will be balanced over a pit of frenzied Bomb-ombs. In addition, several items have been provided to the challengers, including health. Who’s match this will be is anyone’s guess now. W: I like brand-spanking new items. P: Hahahaha, Whomp, you sure do, yes, you sure do. P: And here are the women now! Toadette enters from one side of the stage, a martial arts ribbon on her head. W: Ahh, so at least she’ll be able to defend herself better than Toad! P: Yes, god rest his pitiful slapping. Nana enters from the other side of the arena, her ice pick at the ready position. Mario: Remember, I-a want a clean-a fight. And try-a to last-a longer than those last-a two, I work-a on commission. FIGHT! -Toadette flips through the air and rolls, only feet away from a Star. P: Look at her go! Nana is quick though, and launches herself over Toadettes head, grabbing her shoulders. With one foot pressed into the small of her back, she flips Toadette close to the edge of the pit. W: This pit is obviously going to affect the game greatly I suppose, with the players strategies and all. P: Yes sir, and look at them go! Toadette just dodged Nana’s flying kick and Nana is flying off the edge! And no! Nana does NOT go off the edge! Somehow, Nana has managed to grab Toadette’s ankle and drag her down with her! They’re both hanging, scrambling to stay up. Nana is up first, her ice pick digging at the side of the arena. W: That ice pick finally came in handy! P: Toadette is now back into the arena, but what is this? Nana has scrambled over to a pile of weapons and pulled out… a shoe? W: Whoa! How did that get in there? It’s a Goomba’s shoe! I haven’t seen one of those since… well… ever! Mario: Whoops, how did-a that get in-a there ehehe…? P: That giant green shoe has just FLATTENED Toadette! Nana: 100% Toadette: 90% W: Like stomping goombas in a barrel! P: Toadette better peel herself off the floor in a hurry, Nana is coming back! W: Down she goes! P: …Right onto the sword, that Toadette stuck straight up! Nana: 85% Toadette: 90% Mario: MY-A BOOT!!!! P: Nana is stuck in the boot! Talk about bad luck. W: Looks like Toadette is taking advantage of this, she must have gotten that Star they both saw at the beginning of the battle! P: The punching in the face, I can’t stand to watch! One, two, three, four, five… Nana: 63% Toadette: 90% W: And the sword is not stuck anymore! Nana rams it through Toadette’s mushroom head and starts to beat her with it! Nana: 63% Toadette: 61% P: With her head? W: Errrr… P: Nana has just whacked Toadette baseball style off the edge! It’s OVER!! W: Uhh, I don’t hear any explosions… -Nana looks around, puzzled. Leaning out over the edge… P: Toadette has just pulled Nana off the platform, into the enormously oversized pit of Bomb-ombs! I can’t believe it! She must have been hanging there! Nana: NOOOOOOO… -A huge explosion fills the sky, blowing everything up within a mile of the stadium. P: Toadette has won! We have a winner!! W: Uhhh… PrOXy? P: What? W: What just happened to the stadium? P: (CENSORED) Nana: 0% Toadette: 0% P: And there you have it, the first and probably last tag team match ever. W: I guess it was pretty bad. P: Pretty bad? The Whomps and Thwomps are suing! WE DESTROYED THE CASTLE! W: We? Don’t get me into this, it wasn’t my idea to line the bottom of the stadium with plastic explosives! P: I… uhhh…SHUT UP! Ok, that’s all the… hehe… time we have today. W: We’re not done yet. P: OH YES WE ARE! (Camera falls over, and the sound of a scuffle ensues) W (offscreen): *HUUMPH!* |
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