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| July 2006 |
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| 10 July 2006 ~ Monday Song of the Day: Cry by Faith Hill So, I accidentally typed dong instead of song of the day and for a split second considered adding a dong of the day link. I realize this wouldn't be such a good idea since I post most of my entries from work and I don't want to become the office perv. Well, any more than I already am. Besides, I don't think I could safely explain to the Ultra Christian Conservative Director (UCCD) why I have a giant (or little) dildo on my screen. Then again, he might enjoy it and want the link. So, really, I might be doing a public service by adding a dong of the day link to my page. Maybe I should turn this into a nekkid architects porn site and make some money. Yeah, no one wants to see that... I've decided to repost the weigh station story since the Yahoo(!) blog ate the original. With Brad's brother in town from Germany, we decided to make a friendly visit to the casino just outside of McMinnville. Since their dad doesn't get out much, we took him along for a night out. Brad and Rick had been teasing their dad virtually nonstop since Rick stepped into his parents' house. One of the biggest taunts was in regards to their dad's weight, or lack thereof. We went to the casino late in the evening, so it was about 3 a.m. when we left. We were in the middle of nowhere when Brad spotted a weigh station. (for 18-wheelers and, yes, I'm showing my southern roots by using that term.) It was closed for the evening, so we pulled in. The scale display was on the outside of the station, so we were able to see how much the car weighed with all of us in it. Just as Brad was having his dad get out of the car, another vehicle pulled up alongside us. It was the police. I'm thinking no good is going to come of this. After all, we're at a closed weigh station, in the middle of the country, at 3 a.m. People who are up to no good are at isolated weigh stations at 3 a.m. People like serial killers and drug addicts. At the very least, the police officers are thinking we're having car trouble. They ask us if everything is okay to which Brad responds, "yes, we're just seeing how much our dad weighs." I'm shocked. He told the truth? There is no way they're going to believe the truth. They did. The officer in the passenger seat said, "Okay, have a good night" and rolled up his window. Brad had his dad get back in the car and we were on our way home. The officers had pulled to the end of the ramp to either catch speeders, make sure we left, or radio what just happened back to their commander. I don't know for sure. What I do know is that his dad weighs 150 pounds. -M |
| 12 July 2006 ~ Wednesday Song of the Day: some stupid commercial I heard on the radio Today's topic: links! This is an interesting concept. It wouldn't work at my office since we don't give a crap about each other; however, I could see quite a few situations where it would work. BigCheese, for instance, could start herself a "buy me a Mac" fund. I'd contribute $1, or $5. I've been on this kick lately about wanting to give people money/buy them things. It's not that I have loads of disposable cash sitting around. I just want people to be happy and if it would make them happier if they got the [fill in the item] they want, then I would like to be a part of that. It's consuming me. I've been plotting and planning on just how I can help people out. In fact, I think everyone should set up wish lists on Amazon and send me the link so I can buy you things. Lucky for me, and my wallet, this urge should pass soon. Here is a link to another blog I read. She has social anxiety which makes me feel "better" about mine. Besides the anxiety disorder, she's really funny. Are you a disgruntled wife/partner? Post anonymously here. I do like how not all posts are negative. Not all spouses are jerks. Some of the mean ones make me wonder why the women are still in their relationships. Who am I to judge? At the very least, it'll make you feel better about your life when you're having a bad day. It's kind of like PostSecret, only different. Remember Dan from Real World Miami? He has a blog here. I don't think I've posted this link before. The captions to the photos always make me laugh. It's nice to know that there are other people out there with a twisted sense of humor. Here are comic strips that I enjoy: here, here, here, here and here. Last night I had a dream that involved a comic strip, moving to another state, yellow jackets, Prince William and some crazy farmers. It's all pretty fuzzy at this point but I remember being happy to wake up. You'd think a dream about Prince William would be a pleasant one, but no. Finally, let's not forget about the Tour! Did I tell you the story of how a rider out in the 'burbs thinks I'm insane? I didn't? Well, he does. It's no secret that I really love the Tour de France.(thanks to PonyM) I love it so much that two impulses come over me whenever I see cyclists out during the month of July. I either 1) want to yell out my car window, "Vive le Tour!" or 2) jump out of my car and hug said cyclist. I resist both urges, but I inevitably end up with an insane smile on my face. The other day I was coming home after running some errads. I was on a residential street and was obeying the speed limit. Something that is very rare for people these days. Seriously, people?! It's 25 and there are kids and possible runaway animals on the lose. Slow down or I will throw a bag of dog poo on your car as you're speeding past me! Ahem...as I was saying, I was going a little below the speed limit because the road I was on was twisty. The cyclist in front of me kept moving over probably thinking I wanted to pass him. When he finally did turn, he looked back at me only to see the aforementioned insane smile because I was thinking about the Tour. He sped up. -M |
| 13 July 2006 ~ Thursday Song of the Day: You Suck by Murmurs Here's a piece of advice: Don't catcall a sweaty fat girl while she's walking her dog. Especially when she's already been on one walk with the other dog and decided that this go-round, she'd go even farther....in the rain, followed by the sun and wearing a jacket the entire time...No good will come out of it. In fact, if it hadn't been for the cramp in my calf and the fact that I'm a self-conscious runner which means I don't run, I would have thrown the bag of warm, stinky, rice filled dog poo I was carrying into your car via the window you conveniently rolled down. And, trust me, my dogs have THE SMELLIEST shit in the world. I was going to continue to rant and rave, but I'm far too exhausted from that paragraph. The rants would have targeted the usual suspects: CP, Mr. Smarmy Bodaciousness and all the meth addicts I encounter on my walk to/from work. Oh, the meth heads. Fortunately for you, I am unable to expend the energy required to type all of it. Double sigh. On a happy note: HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY, CanadaSarah! It's all downhill from here. (ha!) Word. -M |
| Update: Kudos to PonyM for showing me this website. Also, did I ever tell you about this website that she also told me about? Seriously, that woman is the shizz. |
| 14 July 2006 ~ Friday Song of the Day: Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit Warning: Work Rant Did you know that the male ego is very fragile? Did you know that it needs to be coddled all the damn time? Did you know that I have to put up with male egos about a million times a day at work? Did you know that the frail male ego isn't just from my immediate co-workers, but also from clients, HQ co-workers and consultants? Did you know they're all mother fuckers who can go straight to hell and if Bossman were here today giving me shit that I would get up and walk out? Did you? Don't worry, men, if I worked with more women I would be saying the same thing about them. Unfortunately for you, the two women I work with kick ass. Or at the very least, irritate me little. Did you know that 99% of the BMW drivers I've encountered in the State of Oregon are assholes? Did you know that within a span of ONE block, I encounter TWO homeless men pissing on the street? Did you know that I just might release my inner dialogue on unsuspecting strangers today because I've just about reached my limit. My inner dialogue includes a lot of fucks and cunts and fucking cunts. Did you know that I don't feel like censoring myself today? I don't feel like being the "nice, Southern girl who goes along to get along." Did you know that instead of working this afternoon that I'm going to be doing some major job searching. It's just one of those days When you don't wanna wake up Everything is fucked Everybody sucks You don't really know why But you want to justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact And if you interact Your life is on contract Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker It's just one of those days! ...... It's all about the he says she says bullshit I think you better quit talkin that shit (Punk, so come and get it) It's just one of those days Feelin' like a freight train First one to complain Leaves with a blood stain Damn right I'm a maniac You better watch your back Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program ...... I feel like shit My suggestions is to keep your distance cuz right now I'm dangerous We've all felt like shit And been treated like shit ...... And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break your fuckin' face tonight Give me somethin' to break! -Limp Bizkit, Break Stuff Hugs & Kisses, -M |
| 17 July 2006 ~ Monday Song of the Day: Mandy by Barry Manilow I have a tiny head. It looks weird on my body. I bought a crabapple tree for $12 (!!) on Saturday. I planted it in a big pot on our deck. The New York Times crossword puzzle was easier than the Daily Crossword puzzle today. I've already had 4 servings of water and no pop. (I'm turning into a Yankee by not referring to every carbonated beverage as Coke.) I had Chinese hole for lunch because I did not want salad. I have a headache and wristache. I found two jobs that interested me - both jobs for which I have zero qualifications. The first was a forensics job and the second was a medical examiners' investigator position. I don't want to go back to school. -M |
| 20 July 2006 ~ Thursday Song of the Day: Unwell by Matchbox 20 Holy crap, Floyd Landis, holy freakin' crap! He has a dead hip, people. A DEAD HIP. This year's Tour has been crazy. How can anyone not like this sport? I'm lucky to have PonyM here to talk to about each stage; after all, she is the one who introduced me to cycling. Holy crap. I have a lot of stuff to talk about, but I'm much too wired on Tour right now. Holy crap! -M |
| 25 July 2006 ~ Tuesday Song of the Day: Oh, Canada by Five Iron Frenzy (yes, this is a repeat) First things first: Floyd Landis!! Can you imagine how good he will be with two good hips? I have about five gazillion things floating around inside my brain right now. I'd like to talk about three gazillion of those things but I can't seem to find the words/motiviation. So, I leave you with my next career: Geisha. If you've seen the movie (which, after about a million years, I have) you will know that a true geisha is not a whore. -M |
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