The other day I was thinking that, given my peculiar personality, living as a single person would be most suitable for me. I would not be able to handle love. I am so self-centered that a married life would just kill me. I believe I have the love of a good husband and father but if I cannot even stand up straight and tall on my own while lions, tigers and wolves in sheepskin (the rest of the world) circle around me, how am I going to serve my wife and family well? I would be able to take all the love parents can give and perhaps others of the older generation (and maybe even any other married and mature persons) but I won't be able to take the love of a person who's about the same level as me (ie: age, marital status, interests, perhaps personality?). I was like a big baby; I needed parental love and proper upbringing so much. Maybe I still am such a big baby. I got, from their perspective and sheer sincerity, everything I could ever ask for. And yet I question whether I actual got enough. Maybe I got just enough so that I was mentally and emotionally equipped to draw the rest myself. And that I would have to work for. Studying and obtaining certifications. Gaining knowledge and experience. Experiencing and experimentally with my environment. From these I may (will?) be able to boost my self-confidence. I would have to work on that one step at a time using knowledge to build up self-confidence. These would be tools with which I would be able to reach out to people. Let me open up the space around me. Let me break up the fog so that people can see me and I can see them. For I trust there is somebody out there. So let opportunities be made for us to find each other. With the new found love, we can both walk that staircase to heaven, hand in hand.