| Close-ups on faces: *Gemini Alistair Augustus crosses himself and mumbles a prayer. Julianna takes a long drink from a silver flask. Portia perspires heavily; she has large damp circles under her arms, if they appear on camera. A dark patch appears in the crotch of Travis’s pants and steadily grows. Kurt holds his toy weapon steady, a look of grim determination on his face, a killer’s glint in his eyes.* The door burst open and the zombies begin to enter. The cast opens fire. Some are shot down, but eventually they make it into the room. Because they are zombies only a couple stay dead so they are able to pull the guns from their assailants’ hands. They disregard Kurt who continues firing pellets or foam darts or whatever he’s got at them. The others back into the far corner of the room. Davis, a zombie in the remnants of a business suit advances on Gemini Alistair Augustus. Gemini Alistair Augustus: Eat the dingleberry’s brains first! They’re delicious! Davis: We don’t want brains. Gemini Alistair Augustus: His testicles are great, too! Go ahead; try them! Davis: Changing the subject – Mr. Augustus, have you ever asked yourself what would happen to your family if something were to happen to you? Gemini Alistair Augustus: I taste terrible! I bathe in my own fecal matter every morning! Davis: I’m talking about insurance, Mr. Augustus. Would your family be adequately provided for in the unlikely event of your untimely demise? Gemini Alistair Augustus: Well, I really haven’t given it much thought. Davis: I represent Cooper, Chasum, and Fletch, Insurance Providers and I’d like to offer you a comprehensive coverage package for you and your loved ones. Travis: An insurance pitch? Now what the hell is this? I’m getting out of here. Travis begins to push his way out, as he leaves one of Davis’ assistants grabs his head and breaks his neck. Travis falls to the floor, lifeless. Those left of the living step back, aghast. Davis: Just see how useful an insurance policy would have been for him? I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be caught in the same position. I think you’ll find a coverage plan for what’s left of your family very reasonably priced – and well worth it. Davis produces official looking insurance paper stuff and begins to write in it. Let’s see, you’re a male over 50 with how many children? Gemini Alistair Augustus: Three, er, two. During the sales pitch Gemini Alistair Augustus is very interested in the insurance Davis is selling, as he has never considered purchasing comprehensive family coverage. He looks over Davis’s shoulder as he fills out the papers. Davis: Well if you’d like to have a seat, I think there are a number of plans that would interest you. Gemini Alistair Augustus: Now, I don’t need coverage for Numb Nuts over there. They cross to where the furniture is and sit. The others move about pantomiming things as the camera zooms out. More feel good music is played as the monotone voice informs us that this week’s episode of All My Children Have Been Consumed by Flesh Starved Zombies has come to an end. ROLE CREDITS. |