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| Dear Washed up Rock Star, I just recently took a job working in Customer Service at a local store and I have found myself to be extremely attracted to my boss. He is at least 20 years older than me and very married but I can't deny my feelings towards him. What should I do? I know he feels the same way but should I act on these feelings or should I just suppress them. I can't quit because I really need the money and there are very few jobs in my town. Please help!! -- Falling for Him in Fargo Dear Falling, I'm still smokin' even after all these years. Just because I've got a few grey hairs now and 'BlackLizard' isn't together anymore doesn't mean I can't still rock man! I've been thinking about forming a new band and I know for sure that we would be top of the charts. It's time to get rid of all this pussy music and get back to good ol' American Rock 'N' Roll. Like the Scorpions or WhiteSnake. Those guys know how to ROCK! Whats up with all this shit music today anyways? Where did they find some of these assholes? I can't even turn on the T.V. anymore without seeing that little asshat Justin Timberfag all over the place. He sings like a damn girl! We need to get back to the ROCK! So as soon as I find some guitar players and a drummer we'll be rockin' America. I've been working hard since BlackLizard broke up writing new songs and shit for my new band. I can't wait to see all the fine ladies who will want to hang with us. Bring your friends because there is enough MONTI to go around. |
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| Dear Washed up Rock Star, My husband was laid off from his job several weeks ago. Now instead of going out and looking for a new job he just sits at home all the time and watches tv. I know that it has been hard for him being laid off of a job he had been at for 15 years, and I know this was a blow to his confidence but I'm not his mother! How can I get my lazy hubby off his butt and back into the workforce? -- Angry in Akron Dear Angry, Don't get me wrong now I love the wild 24 hour parties we had when BlackLizard was together but I do realize that I'm getting older. I'll just have to settle for two babes instead of 3 or 4. I still can't believe what hot shit I am even after all these years. There ain't ever been a woman alive that could resist my charms. I'm like that mythological guy that all the women swoon over. Hey lets all get tattoos. You can get one of BlackLizards and I'll get the one of a hot naked chick. YEAH! I'm like Mick Jagger only way hotter! I'm a God among men. Hey did you know that not only do I kick ass on the guitar and sing great I can totally play a couple songs on the drums. I should reform my band. We'll be called Carnival of Souls because we be stealing your soul with the music. OH YEAH! |
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