Just three days later, it was time once more for band rehearsal. Betty had had an unusually tranquil time of it, contenting herself with a visit to Waldi's where she replenished her exhausted stock of noodle snacks (with a two for the price of one offer, she had filled her trolley to the brim - yay!). Having accomplished such a tremendous feat of money saving and delicious snack buying combined, she spent the days grinning inanely, her hands alternately occupied with the remote control and the blissful fork-and-noodle snack combination that always left behind a glorious feeling of gorgeousness. She arrived at the bandroom with Beeny to find a letter in a hand-written envelope that simply said 'Mongus'. Such ornate handwriting was clearly not the mark of any of the usual illiterati that deigned to sully the mat at the bandroom's entrance; their inane solicitations were invariably to replace the windows or to hire the band as an accompaniment to the opening of a new sausage making factory. With these thoughts running through their minds, Mongus appeared - unusually punctual and a little out of breath.

'I jogged down tonight - got to keep in trim for my new Portuguese boyfriend', she beamed.

Although Mongus had was unsuccessful with her Big Brother audition (in spite of her elaborate costume; what can they have been looking for this year?) she had met Caspero who had also failed to impress as a Portuguese Man of War (something was perhaps lost in the translation) and things had quickly blossomed.

'Look, Mongus - a letter addressed to you!' Beeny said.

'Ooh, how exciting!' - Mongus seemed genuinely chuffed with the hand-written note.

'Well, open it then!' Betty was obviously less impressed and just wanted to get on with things so she could get down to some more practising of her triple pianos as the band rehearsed.

Mongus tore open the envelope. Inside was a lavender-scented floral designed notelet that read: 'Your drummer has been kidnapped. If you want to see him again, you must leave £50 in an envelope between pages 338 and 339 in the Yellow Pages in he phone box in the middle of Ystranglus tonight. Don't try anything funny - we will be watching'.

'How ridiculous', she laughed. 'Come on, let's play "Amparita Roca"'.