Sirus and the Dark Forest.
By Jason Granado

Sirus walks thru the woods, lost and confused, not knowing where he's been or where he is going. The only thing he knows is that he cannot go back, his only path leading forward into the unknown. For as long as he can recall, his paths thru life have never been easy, obstacle after obstacle thrown in front of him, not all overcome. Most placed of his own will and ignorance.

This path he walks on seems to have been walked thru before, by him maybe? He internally questions. On he walks searching for answers to questions he doesn't understand. Thru the dense woods, and heavy fogs Sirus walks onward.

With every step he takes his past flashes before his eyes, each bringing a new question before him and like the others without an answer in sight. He thinks back on his life, which seems short in comparison with the life that stands before his yet unborn child. A minute (My-noot) existence, spawning life minutely.

His life has always been troubled, since the day of birth when he was born with a disfigurement. His face, not completely formed, left with a gash across his upper lip and upper jaw, fates sick humor playing its twisted game. Feeble attempts by medical physicians tried to grant him some form of normality, humanity, but the efforts remain fruitless in the eyes of everyone he came in contact with. Laughers, criticisms, hatreds, misunderstandings; all aimed towards him based on something he could not control, something handled by a more divine centerpiece.

As Sirus travels take him deeper into the wooded area, he comes across facets of his past, road signs of danger? Or triumph? He does not know. Unsure of where to go he does what he has always done, he blindly walks headstrong alone. He knows that there is an easier way, a way out of the nightmarish woods he somehow got into, but he refuses to take that route.

Thoughts of his past rush like a raging river, as he thinks of his hearts adventures in love, and his search for a soul mate. Visions of her beautify cloud his thoughts, as he recalls his first encounter with this new "thing" called love.

Her name was Starlis, and from the moment they two met he felt a void within him being filled, an emptiness he never knew was there until it was gone and filled with hope and love. A chasm of nothingness dug by the hatreds and ignorance of everyone he has met, and self-loathing he has come to accept. Starlis loves Sirus so much, and is the only person to ever truly understand him internally and externally. The two build a bond that stretches beyond this life and its boundaries of physics and ethics. As a star burns brightly in the heavens, so does they're love for each other burn thru time and space. Two souls uniting as one under a divine force simply yet indescribably called "love".

And as Sirus walks this newfound path he feels a presence, as if he was not alone, as if he walked with the one who claimed, trained, and opened his heart. Her presence felt from the great distance, across the mountains and rivers and cities separating them. And somewhere within his soul, Sirus plunges into a radiant pool of light, and is blanketed by the warmth and safety of that love. It is with this radiant beauty that he walks thru the dark dense wooded area, allowing the light from within to guide his way forward.

He stops at yet another crossroad, unsure again as to which path to take. Deep within he feels as though he has seen this place before, and wonders if he is walking in circles. Casting those negative thoughts aside as if they were a burning hot coal, he struggles on.

Thru the woods, echoes of the past stalk his every step. Voices calling out to him from some dark corner, reminding him of his mistakes. Deep within, the radiant pool begins to darken with the sins of his past. Suddenly his source of strength is gone, and he is once again alone. Feelings of loneliness and despair flood over him like a wave crashing along the rocky shores. With each wave come the tears of a thousand sins, and the realization that he could have stopped them if he had only tried. He weeps for those he has hurt with his words and actions, he weeps for the better life he could have lived; but most of all he weeps for the child who's blood is the same as his own. He weeps for that child, who may one day walk along the cold dark path he now walks. He weeps because he knows that there is nothing he can do to prevent it, nothing he can do to put himself between his child and the path of darkness that he now walks alone thru.

As he closes his eyes he sees what might have been, a life had he not lived a life of torment and hatred. Bright clear skies line this world within his hopes and dreams. He sees himself holding his child tightly in his arms, lovingly, fatherly, and protectively. He smiles as he sees Starlis staring back at him lovingly, passionately, motherly. The radiant beauty casting her ever-loving light on all around her, a Goddess in the mind of her child, a blessing in the eyes of Sirus.

To Sirus a lifetime has passed since he closed his eyes to blot out the darkness surrounding him. He's seen his love for Starlis grow more and more, as their child grew more and more. Their child, Titus, grows to find love of his own, and bare a child of equal love and beauty, Alestra. Old in age and wisdom, Sirus has lived a life of ease, hope, love, and beauty, the life of his dreams. And as he is lowered into the ground, he leaves behind a life without regret, and without question.

Sirus opens his eyes to find himself still within the dark cold forest, with the echoes of his past still haunting his every step and breathe. He runs, not caring where he will end up, not caring what lies ahead and only wishing to run away from the echoes. With all his strength and with all his will he runs, hoping to run faster than the echoes can travel. On and on and on he runs, faster and faster until his breath is short and his legs burn with the strain of force being pressed onto them with each powerful step.

Step after step he runs on, his mind focused on finding his exit and leaving behind the forsaken dark cold forest. After what seems like an eternity Sirus cannot run any longer, and drops to the ground on his hands and knees. Tears running down his face, as he knows he is even more lost than he has ever been in his entire life. Unsure of how long he has been in the forest, he searches the sky for some sign of sunlight, has this been one night or have the days been blocked by the blanket of darkness that surrounds him completely. He cries loudly as the echoes finally catch up to him, shrouding him in perpetual darkness and despair.

He recalls the vision, of the perfect life he could have had, that he can still have if he can ever escape this forsaken land and its tricks of the mind. And in his recollection he sees himself, not the handsome perfect man he wants to be but as the disfigured man he is today. In his arms is still the beautiful child, and staring lovingly, passionately, motherly into his very soul is Starlis. And it is in that moment of epiphany that he realizes that he can have that life. He realizes that he has been the obstacle blocking his path for so long. He has been the reason behind all his pain and suffering, not some twisted joke by fate, or some joke of the divine centerpiece, it was his own doing. With deep sadness he sees that he has caused so much pain and suffering to himself and others, all unnecessarily.

And as he ponders this new revelation the echoes stop, and the radiant pool deep within his soul clears. He understands that it won't radiate again until he makes it radiant with the light of love and hope from within, a light that he has blanketed himself without knowing.

Sirus stands and faces his path, he knows he cannot go back, that he must go onward and face himself and his past. And as he walks he sees the possible future for him and his yet to be born child, and although age seems to be heavy on him, he knows that it is nothing when compared to the life that lies before his child.

As the love for his child fills his thoughts, Sirus begins to see a light standing still at the horizon. He walks quicker, and quicker until he is at a forward sprint. Is this the exit he has looked for so long? Is this the chance he sought to change his life? As he gets closer and closer he begins to wonder what he will find when he reaches the light. Will Starlis be there waiting? or will the divine centerpiece be there?, standing omnipotent to strike him down, or wish him well?

The light growing brighter with each sprinted step, his breath short and quick, his legs burning with the determination to find his way. At last he has found the answer he was looking for, standing patiently, waiting for him to reach. With each step he begs for the strength to take one more step. He prays for the strength to reach the end. Onward he runs, Sirus the brunt of many a joke, the obstacle standing in his own way, the light of Starlis' life, onward he runs.

His journey ended he stops at the light, mesmerized by its radiance. Trying to catch his breath he collapses to the ground, his eyes never leaving off the light for fear that it will disappear as just a hallucination of his thoughts. But the light remains, standing patiently, omnipotent shining brightly over him. And in that brilliance Sirus understands for the first time what it means to feel love, as it warps around him like a warm blanket, replacing the darkness that has surrounded him for so long.

And in that moment, as his past flashes once more along with the visions of the future, he closes his eyes, never to open them again within the dark, cold, fog covered, echo screeching, densely wooded forest again.