Episode 36: Lemon?

Later that night…

Die walked into Shinya’s room and looked around curiously. The place was tiny, and was carpeted with tatami mats and a mattress on the floor. The room was neatly organized and bare, one straight pile of music books stood on the corner of a low desk, which resided in the center. It was too neat for Die’s taste, but he didn’t mind. The fact that the room was tidy was a dominant Shinya characteristic. Event her room smelled like him.

“You want to see something?” Shinya asked as he took something out of his closet.

“What’s that?” Die sat beside the bishounen.

“My scrapbook.” Shinya held up a large, leather-bound red notebook. “I’ve had this for years.” He flipped through the pages of memories, then stopped at a page with nor writing on it. “Look at this.”

Die moved closer and peered over Shinya’s shoulder. The page was empty except for two dried and pressed carnations. “Are those…?”

“Hai. You gave them to me that day.”

“Wow. How long has it been since then? I feel as though it was a long time ago, and yet, it feels like it was only yesterday.”

“I know…” Shinya closed the scrapbook and put it aside. “Ne, Die.”

“Nani?” Die wrapped his arms around from behind and hugged him tight.

“Tomorrow’s you last day here…”

Die buried his face in the younger man’s hair. “Hmmm..”

“What are we going to do?”

“..mmm…I dunno…” he nuzzled and sniffed the younger man’s head.

“Are you listening to me?” he turned around to glare at him.

Die pouted. “I was enjoying the smell of your hair, Shin-chan.”

“You’re always saying that!’

“But it’s true.” Die pulled him back to the warm embrace. For some odd reason, he felt incomplete without the beautiful man with him. He lightly kissed Shinya’s frowning lips. “Let’s not think about that. Let’s think about now and live for the moment.” He observed Shinya’s cute pout and sad eyes and had to smile. He suddenly threw Shinya on the mattress and showered him with kisses.

“DIE!” Shinya yelped in surprise and tried to push him away, but couldn’t because he was actually half enjoying it.

Die stopped and gave him a mischievous grin.

Shinya frowned.

Die pretended to frown like Shinya.

Shinya turned away in annoyance.

Die laughed. “Shin0-chan, what’s wrong with you today? You take my sticks, hit me on the head, and now you’re not giving me those sweet pretty smiles of yours.”

“I am not pretty!” Shinya protested.

Die nuzzled his face on Shinya’s chest. “mmm… pretty, pretty Shinchan.”

“MOU~! Die, get off!” shinya tried to push him away, but couldn’t when he felt a nip on the base of his neck.

Die felt Shinya’s body jerk and bit the spot again.

“Hnn.. Die-kun, stop!” Shinya pulled his hair.

After hearing that, die felt determined NOT to stop. The younger man’s protests were turning him on more. He kissed Shinya passionately on the lips, savoring the honey-sweet taste he so often craved for. He tugged Shinya’s shirt off and heard the younger man hiss from the contact of cool air on his skin. He stared at the heaving form underneath him. Shinya’s face was glowing crimson and his chest was pale and as perfect as porcelain. The older man ran his hands over his chest and feather-light touches and moaned.

Shinya could feel his head spin. He felt drunk, but he wasn’t drunk. It was the same swirl of emotions he felt when Die kissed him on the couch the first day. He also felt nervous. He’d never done it with a guy. He’d never done it at all! And yet, he wanted Die to be the one. He felt eager to make love to Die.

He cried out when Die engulfed his nipple with his mouth and sucked hard. He entangled his bony fingers into the crimson strands and gripped him tightly. Soon, the red head’s lips moved down as he tugged the younger man’s pants down. Shinya gasped for breath. The room felt really hot and humid, and it felt difficult to breathe in. die managed to tug the pants and boxers down. He stared at Shinya’s full form, in the naked flesh.

“Shinchan, you’re so beautiful.” He breathed. He knew he’s said that many a time, but he meant it each time he said it.

Shinya blushed crimson as he looked down at Die looking at him. He suddenly felt embarrassed, so he shyly covered himself with his hands.

Die grinned and gently pried the hands away. He took off his own clothing and quickly bent down and licked the shaft from bottom up. Shinya moaned and shut his eyes. The redhead licked all over him until he was completely wet with saliva, then took him in his mouth.

The younger man tried to restrain his escalating voice, but cried out anyway. He grabbed Die’s head and shoved clumsily into his hot throat. The older one continued to run his tongue across the sensitive tip, causing his koi to whimper.

“nmmm… Die…..Die-kun….”

Just when Shinya was about to come, Die pulled out.

Shinya’s eyes flew open and he immediately protested. “What are you doing??!!!!”

Die grinned. “What are you talking about?”

Shinya groaned. “Please.. Die-kun…. I need you…”

“Need what?” he teased.

“I… I’m going to…” shinya shut his eyes tightly.

Die enjoyed the look of sweet torture and decided to tease him more. “Going to what?”

“DIE!!!” Shinya yelled. He grabbed the red head’s ears and pulled him in between his legs.

Die was surprised at first, then chuckled at his koi’s desperation. He surrounded Shinya’s hard shaft again and sucked. It wasn’t long before the bishounen came into his mouth. He swallowed every drop. Shinya’s body fell limp on the mattress from release. He saw stars, but he felt Die kissing his lips again and again. Unfortunately, he heard something. He heard something vaguely in the distance.

“Die, do you hear something?” Shinya whispered.

Die dint’ pay attention. He just wanted release VERY badly.

“Did you hear me?”

Die just kissed him again and he gasped when he felt the red head’s erection press his inner thigh, indicating that he can’t wait anymore.

“Shinya! Are you in here?!” a voice outside the door came, followed by a few knocks.

Shinya gently broke away from the kiss.

Die whined. “Please, Shinya…  you don’t’ have to answer the door.”

Shinya looked at his pained expression, but heard the voice outside. ”Shinya, one of your friends said he really needs to talk to you.”

Shinya suddenly recognized the voice just beyond the doors. He turned to Die. “Quick! Put your clothes on and run into the closet!’

Die groaned. “Demo, Shinchan. I need you…”

Shinya glared and Die pouted like a child. “Die, that’s my DAD out there!”

“WHAT!?!?!?” Die exclaimed. “Holy shit!”

“Shinya?” the voice outside asked. “Is someone else with you?”

“UM.. no.” Shinya practically shoved Die into the closet and threw his clothes at him. “I’m coming!” he used his foot to close the closet door.  He hastily put his clothes on and opened the door.

Mr. Terachi and Levin stood there. Levin had tears in his eyes.

Shinya gasped and wiped the tears away. “Levin! What happened?”

“One of your other friends, that really short kid, told him a ghost story and now he’s afraid to sleep in his room.” Mr. Terachi explained.

“Levin, you room with Kyo, so there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Shinya said.

“I told him maybe he could sleep with the other residents,” Mr. Terachi said. “But he said he only wants to be with you.”

Shinya smiled. “Sure. No problem. You can stay here as long as you want.”

Die: >.<! DOH!”

Mr. Terachi looked around the room. There seemed something fishy. “Shinya, why does it smell musty in here?”

The bishounen froze. “Ehm… Musty? ^^;;;”

“Yeah…” Mr. Terachi narrowed his eyes as they swiped every corner of the room. “…very musty..”

“Oh, dad. ‘musty’ is not even a word!” Shinya gave a nervous laugh. ^^;;

Mr. Terachi suddenly stepped into the room and walked around. Die could hear footsteps from the outside and thought he was going to pee from anticipation and his deadly need for release.

“Hmmm…what is this, Shinya?” Mr. Terachi picked up something by the mattress.

Shinya widened his eyes and felt cold sweat run down his spine. “@@;;; Er… they’re boxers… why? Is anything wrong with them?”

“No, nothing at all. Except these are size L.”

“Oh, the residents gave it to me a s a present, but they couldn’t find a size for me.” Shinya lied.

“Ah, so I see… I didn’t know you had an interest in football.” He held it up. The boxers had little brown football helmet patterns all over it.

Shinya began to blush furiously as Die hit himself on the head in the closet.

“Ne, Shinya-san,” Levin spoke. “Isn’t that---“

Shinya clapped his hand on the short man’s mouth.

Mr. Terachi chuckled. “It’s alright, Shinya. Just make sure you don’t do anything stupid.” He turned an angle and raised his voice. “And if he does anything to hurt my weak, defenseless baby, you can always come to Papa and I’ll cut off his balls for you.”

Die winced.

Shinya blinked.

Mr. Terachi gave Shinya the boxers, smiled, and left.

*****

Kaoru heard knocking on the door. He pulled the blankets higher on Toshiya and answered it.

“Kyo?”

“Yeah. I’m trying to find Levin, is he here?”

“NO. try Shinya’s room.”

Kyo pouted. “I don’t wanna go in there!”

“Why?”

“Because Die’s supposed to room with you and he’s not here!”

Kaoru scratched his head. “What does it have to do with Shinya’s room?”

“Kaoru, think about it!”

“About what?”

Kyo gave up. “Now I know why Toshiya insists you’re the densest pre-med student on campus.”

Kaoru pouted. “But I really don’t get it.”

Kyo shook his head. “Anyways, I also have a message from your favorite person.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes. “What does Hakuei want?”

“He said that Toshiya should remain rooming with you so that he could have Miyabi room with him and it would be better that way.”

“But I thought Miyabi had a room to himself.”

“Yes, he does. But he’s not feeling well, so Hakuei insists on staying with him.”

“What about Die? He’s rooming with me.”

Kyo rolled his eyes. “Like that skirt chaser’s gonna stay in this room while Shinya’s just down the hall! Anyways, I have to find Levin. Ja.”

“Oh. Ja!”

*****

Hakuei quietly sat in the hot bath as he helped a semi-conscious Miyabi in. Miyabi could feel the hot water rise to his chest and sighed. He couldn’t focus and didn’t really know what was going on, but he knew the warm environment felt very good. His vision was blurry and he could only see the swirls of steam climbing to the ceiling. Maybe he was in heaven, or maybe he was in a dream.

Hakuei propped his friend in a sitting position and laid his head back on the edge of the bath.

“Am I dead?” Miyabi murmured.

“Don’t say that.” Hakuei said. “You’re not dead. You’re in a tub full of hot water.”

“Then this must be a dream.” Miyabi smiled. “Because you’re here with me.”

“You have a fever and you’re delirious.”

“Hmmm…?” Miyabi slowly blinked. “But I like dreams. They represent a figment of my past. Like…. The fact that you’re here… you are a part of my past…”

Hakuei decided to just play along. It’s not as if the boy was listening anyway. “Yeah, yeah… you’re in the plane of the subconscious. If you’d like to think of it that way.”

“It feels so good here. I don’t want to leave.”

“Well, you’re gonna be here a while. So enjoy it.” Hakuei replied nonchalantly. “Besides, we can’t always stay in the past. We have to learn to move on.”

“You say it like it’s so easy.” Miyabi said absently. “How come it’s so easy for you to forget, but it’s so painful for me? Why? Why can’t I just let it go? Why can’t I just leave everything and not care?”

“If you didn’t care, then you wouldn’t be Miyabi.”

“But still. I want to change. I don’t want to be Miyabi anymore. It hurts too much to be Miyabi.”

Hakuei shook his head. “Don’t ever say that! If you weren’t Miyabi, then a lot of those neighborhood kids in the city wouldn’t have anybody take care of them. And remember that homeless guy close to the school? You always gave him half your kit-kat bar. You may not think it’s much, but think of how much your little acts of generosity has impacted people. Those children and that homeless guy will never forget you. The people who knew you were doing those things will never forget and I know I will never forget you.”

“But I thought you didn’t like me. You always tried to get away from me.”

“That’s because I was on crack. I never learned to appreciate friendship until today.”

~… Friendship…~ Miyabi thought sadly. “You really love Toshiya, don’t you?”

“………” Hakuei didn’t answer. He didn’t want to talk about it.

~It’s ok, Hakuei. I understand.~ Miyabi thought to himself. He could never change Hakuei’s feelings, but this had to be a dream. Hakuei talking to him in a not so cold manner is a miracle. It was good though, because he can enjoy the moment, even if it won’t last long. Miyabi smiled in bliss and closed his eyes to relax. The light was certainly blinding to him.

Hakuei watched as Miyabi relaxed and his body began to slide down toward the water. He quickly held him up again.

“Miyabi, wake up.”

Miyabi: ….zzzzzzzz…….

Hakuei sighed in frustration, but felt awkward at the same time. He had his arms around the younger man, who slept soundly. How long has it been since they were so intimate? He ran his thumb along the pretty boy’s arm and it felt so smooth and so soft. He stared at the pretty face. He looked so much like Toshiya, but he was far from being Toshiya. He is Miyabi, the one and only. The face seemed so calm, so free, as if nothing could bother his innocent sleep. Hakuei’s gaze wandered down the pale neck to the beautiful chest. Toshiya may have the legs, but Miyabi had a –damnably- desirable chest.

His nipples were so pink, like ripened cherries ready to be plucked and eaten. Hakuei couldn’t restrain himself from the temptation and licked the torso.

Miyabi stirred, but Hakuei didn’t care. He sucked and licked his chest again and again. He loved his taste; it was so very Miyabi. Soon, Hakuei’s mouth engulfed the pretty boy’s nipple.

Miyabi gasped and slowly opened his eyes. What was going on? Everything was too bright. The lights were too bright and everything was a yellow haze. He felt someone holding him, someone caressing his body. He lifted his arms and felt him. Hakuei. It had to be Hakuei.

His initial reaction was to push him away. Why was he doing this? He loves Toshiya, not him. Then he saw the lovely white steam hovering around him. Now he remembers. He’s in a dream, a wonderful dream of the past. He and Hakuei never had sex a whole lot during their two-year relationship. They probably only did it twice, but each time was very special, so he let Hakuei do as he pleases.

Hakuei continued to tease Miyabi’s nipple. He was too lust-ridden to care if the bishounen was conscious or not. He started nipping on the taught flesh and felt the younger man cry out. He moved to the other one and did the same. He sucked harder and faster, causing Miyabi to pull him by his hairs. Then, he bit down on the pink flesh.

“AHH! HAKUEI! That hurts!’ Miyabi yelled. He pulled the older man’s head desperately to stop the pain.

Hakuei let go and licked it apologetically. He could taste something metallic and saw some blood oozing from the bite mark.

Miyabi whimpered as the blonde licked all the blood away. Hakuei reached up and kissed him on the lips. The younger man tasted the blood from the older one’s mouth. It made him want more, so he wrapped his legs around Hakuie’s waist and rubbed their erections together as Hakuei groaned in need.

*****

Kyo scratched his head. Where could Levin be? He already searched the resort from top to bottom. Suddenly, he had a thought. Maybe Levin went to the hot bath with Miyabi and Hakuei. He never bothered to check there.

Kyo smiled proudly to himself as he walked toward the hot baths.

“Uhnnn…oh… Hakuei!!!…” a voice echoed.

Kyo froze. The sounds were heavily familiar… he opened the door a crack and peeked in.

!!*__*!!

*****
Miyabi didn’t think he could be that loud, but he couldn’t’ help crying out as Hakuei thrusted in and out of his hole. It hurt, but it felt very good.

Hakuei stopped and repositioned himself to take more of Miyabi. He reached back and pulled the younger man’s cheeks apart before he started thrusting again. Miyabi was so tight, so much tighter than Toshiya. Hakuei loved it when the bishounen’s muscles squeezed his shaft tight. It made him want more. He gave one hard thrust and Miyabi cried out as his body jerked instinctively.

“…HAKUEI!! … AH! Right there.>!!”

*****
Kyo covered his mouth with his hands to keep from screaming. ~I thought Hakuei couldn’t stand Miyabi!!~ he watched as the steaming hot water sloshed out of the tub as the two engaged in such a rough movements.

The blonde guy suddenly thought of what it was like when he and Yoshiki did it, but he couldn’t’ recall anything. He blushed. He shouldn’t think of such things, let alone stand there and watch.

*****
Hakuei groaned as he let himself go. Then he collapsed on Miyabi’s chest as they both tried to catch their breaths. He pulled out once the white stars in his eyes disappeared and held Miyabi tightly. He stared at the face. Pretty closed eyes and pretty parted lips. The silky dark hair remained matted on the younger man’s sweat-covered skin and his chest heaved in a silent rhythm.

How could he have been so blind and cold to someone who was so warm and beautiful?

Hakuei gave the sleeping man a sweet kiss on the lips and whispered softly. “Miyabi, I love you…”

He walked across the large hallway that may have been larger than an auditorium. The velvet carpet felt good under his bare feet as he strolled toward the large closed doors. He could see light illuminating from underneath, but it made the whole scene a whole lot eerie. How strange. He’s lived in that mansion all his life, and yet, he felt such uncomfort that it didn’t seem like home. The walls sheltered him from the outside world, but the place seemed nothing but a hollow empty shell in his eyes.

Slowly, he stepped closer and closer to the doors. He touched the icy handle and opened it. At first, the light blinded him, but it faded. He saw a fireplace by the side and someone sitting on a high chair writing.

Writing and writing. That’s all he ever does. He says he does it because everything has to be perfect. Perfection. Is there such a thing in this world? If everyone was perfect, then we wouldn’t be human. If everything were perfect, then there would be no reason to live. Everything that happens will happen, why try to steer from the course of fate? Just sit back, relax, and let the life lead the way.

Oh, how he wished the man in the chair would one day understand the philosophy. But he ever did.

The man in the chair felt his presence and turned around. He looked at him with a  cold stare.

“Otou-san.” He greeted the man. “.. you wanted to talk to me?”

“Toshiya, we need to talk.” Mr. Hara said coldly. He picked up two envelopes from his desk and slammed them on the floor in front of the blue head. “What is the meaning of this?!”

Toshiya stared at the envelopes and froze. “Well, I-I……”

Mr. Hara hit his fist on the desk and stood up. “I can’t believe you were rejected from Harvard! In all these years, I’ve worked so hard to get you there! I even sent you to the most prestigious high school in the nation!!’

Toshiya could feel his eyes blur. “G-gomendasai…”

“And what is that letter over there?” Mr. Hara asked bitterly. “An acceptance from some no-name college? Not only that, but also you applied to their design department?? What are you going to do with a degree like that?”

Toshiya could feel tears flowing down his cheeks. “Demo, Otou-san….. I really want to do this...” he stopped when his father hardened his glare and sat back down on his chair. He rotated the chair around and started writing again.

“Get out.” Mr. Hara said. “And take those letters with you.”

Toshiya cried softly, but picked up the letters and went out the doors. As soon as he closed the doors behind him, he felt the ground beneath him vanished into thin air. He stared in shock, then fell into a dark, empty abyss. His hands clawed at the blackness, trying to grip into something and stop his fall. But he kept falling and falling, until he hit the bottom and heard his head crack.

Toshiya screamed.

*****

Kaoru quickly got up from his mattress and went to Toshiya.

“Toshiya!” he called out.

Toshiya’s eyes were open, but filled with tears and fear.

“Toshiya, are you OK?” Kaoru asked as he gently sat up the blue head into his arms and wiped the tears away.

Toshiya kept crying and crying. “N-nightmare…” he sobbed.

Kaoru held him tight and rocked him back and forth. “It’s OK, Totchi. It’s only a nightmare, ne?” he whispered soothing words to the younger man until he sobbing stopped. He stroked the pretty hair and played with it.

“Kao-kao?”

“Nani?”

“Do you think I’m a failure?”

Kaoru gasped and looked at him. “Totchi! Never say that about yourself!”

“But---“

Kaoru placed a finger on his lips. “Don’t event think about it. Don’t let anyone bring you down! The only time you’ll be a failure is if you believe what others say about you. Everyone has different opinions and to some maybe you are a failure, but what do they know? Only you yourself can experience your success.”

Toshiya looked at him with uncertain eyes.

Kaoru bit his lip. “Totchi, who told you that?”

The blue head looked down at his hands. “…ano… it happened a while back… my father was very disappointed when he found out Harvard rejected me…”

“I’m very sorry to hear that.” Kaoru said. “I’m not saying your father’s a bad person, but a parent should support their children’s decisions no matter what.” He peered at Toshiya’s downtrodden face.

Toshiya felt the tears coming back. “I-I just want my father to be proud of me.” He sniffed. “…I want to make him so proud…” the tears stared again. “…and I wanted him to smile at me for once..”

“…totchi…” Kaoru grabbed Kleenex and dabbed the tears away. He lifted his chin up to face him. “Totchi, you’re not smiling much during the trip. Just smile and forget about everything, OK?”

Toshiya blinked. The blue head pouted.

“Or you can pout.” Kaoru said. “Either way, you look the same.”

Toshiya grabbed his pillow and hit his roommate on the head. “Mou~! Even at times like this you don’t’ stop teasing me.”

Kaoru caught the pillow. “Come on, Totchi. You really should smile.” He urged.

Toshiya knew Kaoru wasn’t going to leave him alone, so he gave an awkward-looking smile through his tear strained face.

Kaoru bent down and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead {WAH! That’s two right there!} he ruffled the younger man’s hair. “See? You look much cuter like that.”

Toshiya blushed hard and touched his head, but pouted at seeing the purple head’s grin. He stuck his tongue out. “Too bad I can’t say the same for you when you’re smiling!”

Kaoru pouted, then stopped. “ne, do you want some tea? I’ll go down and get you some.”

“Sure. Arigatou, Kaoru.”

*****

Miyabi shifted in his sleep, but couldn’t. something was blocking his way. He whined softly and tried to push it away. Unfortunately, it held him even tighter. Miyabi tried again, but stopped once he felt soft breaths on his upper lip. His eyes snapped open.

Hakuei’s face was an inch away from his. The blonde guy was peacefully asleep. He felt the mattress on his back. He was in his room…

~What happened?~ Miyabi suddenly blushed when he recalled his ‘dream’. Then, he widened his eyes. He just had sex with Hakuei last night!! As in, not just a dream, but real, hot sex! Miyabi’s face burned crimson, then his heart sank with hurt. Hakuei loves Toshiya, who loves Kaoru, so why did he have sex with him, or all people? Was he using him because he looks like the blue head? Was last night just sex?

The speculations whirled around the young man’s head over and over again. He felt silent tears brim his eyes and slowly drip across his cheeks. Why couldn’t Hakuei just love him back? Why does it have to be this way? Why did he use him?

Hakuei felt the wet tears on his hand and blinked his eyes open. He saw Miyabi’s lovely face wet with tears and gawked. He wanted to ask what was wrong. He wanted to wipe them away, but his breath got caught in his throat. All he could do was stare at the tears; he was even more beautiful crying.

Miyabi saw Hakuei’s surprised expression, then suddenly felt angry for being ‘used.’ He pursed his lip into an angry line, then pushed Hakuei away. He got up from the mattress, grabbed a robe from the floor, and ran out the doors.

Hakuei was stunned for a few seconds, then hastily got up and put on a shirt. “FUCK!” he cursed. He opened the door and ran after the bishounen.

“Miyabi!” he called out. He spotted a slim form clad in a tiny white robe running down the hallway. “Matte~!”

Miyabi ignored the calls. The tears kept flowing down and they wouldn’t stop no matter what he did. It was like a leaky faucet with an endless supply of water.

“Miyabi!!” Hakuei yelled. He quickly caught up to the younger man and grabbed his arm.

Miyabi shrugged him off angrily. “Don’t touch me!!!!”

Hakuei backed off a bit. “Miyabi, let me explain.”

“NO!!” he shrieked.

Suddenly, a door from one of the rooms slid open. Both men stared as Kaoru came out. The purple head looked up and froze. He looked from Hakuei, who was only clad in a long shirt, to Miyabi, who had tears in his eyes. He could tell he just walked in at a bad time, so he began backing into the room again.

Miyabi quickly grabbed Kaoru’s arm and used him as a shield.

Kaoru: O_O;;;

“Miyabi, we need to talk… ALONE!” Hakuei insisted.

Miyabi held Kaoru tighter and shook his head vigorously.

“Listen to me!” Hakuei raised his voice. He was quickly losing his patience.

“NO!!”

Kaoru winced.

“All these years, I’ve listened to you!” Miyabi cried. “But you never listened to ANYONE! Why should I listen to you now!?!?”

“Please, Miyabi.” Hakuei took a step forward and tried to get around to the other side, but Miyabi swung Kaoru’s light form around so that he was blocking Hakuei. {Kaoru: @@; Guh…getting dizzy…}

Hakuei made a face. “Get outta the fucking way, Rat Face!”

Kaoru glared. “Stop calling met hat!! >.<!”

“Your’e in my way!”

“No I’m not! Miyabi’s swinging me around!”

“Well, Miyabi and I need to talk, so butt out!”

“I CAN”T!!!!!!”

*****
Toshiya stared at himself in the mirror. He touched his forehead lightly and sighed dreamily. He could still feel Kaoru’s lips on his skin. It was only a quick, innocent kiss; yet, it burned through Toshiya’s soul. It felt so warm.

Then, Toshiya pouted. How could he think that way? Kaoru’s his roommate, and he was just dumped the day before. But the blue head kept thinking of all the times Kaoru would hold him and comfort him in his arms. It always felt so good and so….. right.

Toshiya could see his blushing cheeks through the mirror’s reflection. He covered them with his hands. Warm. So warm. Like Kaoru.

“Gaah~! I’m going crazy!” Toshiya hit his head on the table. He looked up and took a deep breath. It was a crazy thought, a crazy feeling. But he couldn’t’ help feeling this fluttering emotion on his chest.

He thought for a bit.

Now what would Kaoru do at times like these? The blue head snapped his fingers in realization. That’s right.

No matter what he’d to this was meant to happen. If it doesn’t last, it would never have lasted. And if it does, it always will. So just go with the flow.

Toshiya vowed to make the best out of it. The blue head smiled cheerfully. He was feeling better already. Suddenly, he heard noises from the outside. He frowned as he got up and opened the door. Toshiya blinked in surprise.

Hakuei was looking at Miyabi, who clung to Kaoru from behind. The three men didn’t’ notice Toshiya’s existence, but Toshiya could feel his heart sink at the sight.

Miyabi held Kaoru’s waist tighter and sobbed quietly. Kaoru felt and heard it. He bit his lips then spoke sternly to Hakuei. “So what if you want to talk to him? He apparently doesn’t want to talk to you!”

“This is none of your business!” Hakuei snapped.

“It is too!” Kaoru yelled. ‘Someone like Miyabi doesn’t deserve to be treated the way you treated him. He deserves better. Unlike some people, I care bout how he feels!”

Hakuei growled ,his fists clenched.

Kaoru tightened his jaw.

Miyabi whimpered.

Toshiya quickly snapped out of his depression. He knew what was coming. He knew Hakuei and Kaoru were going to start fighting. He didn’t like the fact that Kaoru was protecting Miyabi, but….

~Make the best out of it…~

Hakuei quickly raised his arm and Kaoru readied himself. Miyabi stepped back a few feet and watched confusedly.

Before Hakuei could throw the first punch, Toshiya yelled to stop and ran in front of Kaoru. But it was too late. Toshiya felt a hard punch on his shoulder and fell back against Kaoru. Kaoru stared in shock, but held the blue head up. Hakuei’s eyes widened in astonishment and cursed at himself. Miyabi gawked and froze on his spot.

“Toshiya!” Hakuei said. “Sorry!”

Toshiya clutched his shoulder and winced.

“Totchi, daijyoubou?” Kaoru asked.

Toshiya turned his head up to look at him for a long time. His eyelids dropped a notch and his pink lips curved into an unreadable smile.

Kaoru blinked. Why was Toshiya looking at him like that?

The blue head turned away and gently pushed Kaoru aside. He looked at Hakuei. “I’m ok. Don’t’ worry.” He bit his lip. “I just wanted you both to realize that you need to stop fighting. I don’t’ think Miyabi-kun would appreciate your childishness.”

Miyabi, Hakuei, and Kaoru stared at him. Toshiya was being calm and mature. Impossible.

“Babe, are you sure I didn’t hit you too hard?” Hakuei scratched his head.

“Hai.” Toshiya said. ”Next time you both decide to fight, think about the other people involved before starting it, OK?” he smiled slightly and glanced quickly at the confused purple head.

Kaoru looked so puzzled, but it made him all the more lovable. Dense, dense, Kaoru.

~My Kao-kao…~ he thought sadly to himself.

Toshiya turned his heel and quietly went down the staircase.

*****
Die groaned when he got up from the mattress he, Levin, and Shinya shared. He stared at the other two as they slept peacefully. It was a cute sight. Shinya holding Levin like a mother would hold a child, but Die dint’ feel that way. He just felt frustrated. He was so horny last night, but with Levin there, he couldn’t do anything with Shinya.

He stared longingly at the bishounen. He looked so angel-like. Die gently turned him away from Levin and stared at him. He brushed a lock of hair away and started kissing him. After a few seconds, he felt Shinya stir, so he broke the kiss. The younger man stared up at him, puzzled. So innocent. It made Die hornier, so he pressed his hardness on Shinya’s thigh.

Shinya gasped. “Matte yo~! Levin’s---“

Die cut him off with his lips.

Shinya pushed him, but Die’s excitement made him stronger. Soon, Shinya gave in and melted with the kiss. Die murmured his name over and over again as the kisses grew more desperate and Die tugged Shinya’s pants and underwear down.

*****
Kyo yawned and got up from his mattress. He turned and stared at the empty mattress beside him. He frowned. Levin’s still not there. Maybe Levin did go to Shinya’s room

Grumbling to himself, he went out the door and padded across the hallway. He quickly reached Shinya’s room and, without hesitation, swung the door open.

“Shinya, have you seen---!?!?!”

Kyo gawked. Levin was on the other side of the room, but Die and Shinya were on the other end in a very interesting position.

Shinya clawed Die’s back as his lover’s thrusts went faster and faster. He moaned and cried out again and again.

“Oh, god! Shinchan… so tight…”

“Die-kun…uhng...”

Kyo quickly shut the door, his face beet red. Two lemon scenes in a row was pretty traumatizing. He wondered what was making all his dorm mates so horny… must be the weather. They just need someone to keep the warmth.

Kyo sighed.

He wished he had someone here to keep him warm…..

Miyabi didn’t exactly want to go skiing, but he did just to avoid Hakuei, who decided to stay in the resort. He touched his chest and furrowed his eyebrows. The cloth rubbed on his sore nipple painfully. He looked at it earlier and saw the bruise on his chest.

 He winced internally. He didn’t think it hurt that much when they were doing it. Miyabi blushed. He shouldn’t think of such things while he’s out with the group. He looked around. Nobody was really skiing down the slopes, but everyone was having fun. Levin was making a tiny snowballman. Kyo and Shuse came up and knocked it over. Shinya yelled at them to be nice, but giggled as Die held him tight and tickled him. Taka and Hiro were sitting and laughing at Levin’s predicament. {^^;}

Miyabi stared at Die and Shinya. How sweet. It was their last day together and everyone could tell they were making the best out of it. Miyabi felt happy for them, but he also felt jealous. Why did the one person he loves hurt him so much? He’s had enough lies and games, but it’s all so painful. He wished he could stop the hurt.

Miyabi sighed. It should be alright. One more day at the resort and he’s gone. Miyabi decided not to go back to the dorm with the others. He decided to take a plane home to Chicago and visit his mother for the time being. The other roommates were OK with it. Hakuei didn’t say anything. Kaoru said he was going home also, but by train. Toshiya is going home by plane, so he and the blue head are taking a taxi together to the airport.

Miyabi laughed humorlessly to himself. How was he and Toshiya going to survive together in a two hour taxi ride?

Oh well. He’ll deal with it later.

*****

Toshiya sipped his cup of tea as he stared out the snow outside. He could hear Megumi, Koji, Hakuei, and Kaoru playing poker in the background. He sighed. Tomorrow he’d have to go home….even though it wasn’t really anything like home.

He wondered what his father would say to him. He could remember being yelled at for having make-up and ‘acting like a cheap whore’. Toshiya turned his head to look at the tea in his hands.

Suddenly, someone sat in front of him. He looked up confusedly.

“Megumi won and Mr. Terachi wanted to play, so I let him.” Kaoru said.

Toshiya blinked. “Our Koji lost?!”

Kaoru chuckled. “Well, I think he did it on purpose.”

“Really?”

“C’mon, Totchi. Everyone knows he has a thing for Megumi.”

“REALLY?!” Toshiya’s eyes widened.

“Geez. You need to catch up on the gossip!”

Toshiya pouted. ~WELL! I was too busy thinking about YOU!~

“What?”

Toshiya covered his mouth. ~Did I say that out loud?~ “Nothing.” Toshiya gripped the cup. “….Ne….”

“nani?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. You can ask me anything.”

~Will you love me back?~ Toshiya cleared his throat. “Let’s say you like this guy….”

“…OK…”

“…and you don’t’ know if he likes you back, but you’re pretty sure he feels only friendship for you because he protected someone else…”

“…OK…”

“… but you really like this person and your feelings are so strong in your heart and you just want to set it free…”

Kaoru nodded.

“What would you do?”

“Hmmm… well, does the guy understand your feelings?”

“Yes. It’s just that… I don’t’ think he feels the same way about me…”

“You don’t know that unless you tell him.”

“But.. what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“If he doesn’t like you back, it will be awkward at first. But if this guy understands your feelings, then eventually, you will regain your friendship. The key here is if he DOES like you back. So don’t waste your chance, tell the guy how you feel.”

Toshiya looked at him uncertainly.

“Totchi! Whatever happened to your busy-body self-confidence? Hold your head up and tell him.” Kaoru smiled supportively.

“You’re right.” Toshiya said. “I’m Toshiya. I can do anything.” He took a deep breath, then held kaoru’s hands in his.

Kaoru blinked.

Toshiya looked at Kaoru deeply in the eye. “Kaoru, I have something to tell you…”

Suddenly, someone slung an arm around Kaoru’s shoulder.

“Hey buddy, what’re you guys doing?” Die asked.

~Damn you, Die!~ Toshiya cursed internally. “Er.. nothing.”

“Totchi was just going to tell me something.” Kaoru said. “I didn’t think you guys would be back so soon.”

The others popped up behind Die.

“wah!” Levin cried out. “Are you palm reading, Toshiya-san?”

Toshiya turned red and let go of Kaoru’s hands. “Um… I guess…”

“Cool! Can you do mine??”

“Dude! Palm reading is for sissies!” Kyo said.

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!!”

Toshiya sighed in defeat.

*****

The Terachi’s decided to give the residents a little thank you dinner that night. All of them sat at a long dinner table with scrumptious food presented to them by Mr. Terachi.

“My tummy aches.” Levin whined.

“I told you not to eat too fast. Baka.” Kyo said.

“Man, I think you have some sorta digestive problem.” Shuse told Levin. “Remember the car ride? You went enough times to waste all the fresh water supply in North America.”

“Did not!” Levin insisted.

Shinya rolled his eyes. “I told you guys to be nice!”

Kaoru smiled. It was their last night, and he knew he was going to miss the Terachi’s dearly. They were so nice and so sweet.

He glanced around the table. Everyone at the table was smiling and having fun, except for Hakuei, Miyabi, and Toshiya. Hakuei sat far away from Miyabi, not saying a single word. Miyabi was quiet too, but tried his best to enjoy their last night. Toshiya sat beside him silently; he looked quite perturbed while he stared absently at the soup in front of him.

“Totchi?”

No answer.

“Totchi.”

Silence.

“TOTCHI!”

Toshiya blinked and looked at him. “Oh. Gomen. I didn’t hear you.”

Kaoru sighed. “ne. please get back into reality soon. You’ve been like this all day.”

“I’m just tired, that’s all.” Toshiya gave a weary smile.

Kaoru furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you just worried about going home?”

“Sort of…”

“What’s bothering  you, Totchi?” Kaoru asked softly. He reached over and held Toshiya’s hand firmly.

Toshiya felt more pain at the kindly gesture. He stared at Kaoru with sad eyes. He couldn’t say anything.

Kaoru looked at those pretty dark eyes. So luminous and lost. Something terrible must be wrong. But what?

“Totchi…” he squeezed his hand tightly.

Toshiya tore off his gaze and shook his head. “Don’t worry, Kao-kao. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Kaoru just nodded and admitted defeat, but he couldn’t stop from worrying. Toshiya always told him everything. What could be so upsetting that even he couldn’t know about it? Kaoru’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Die.

Die cleared his throat. “I’d like to make an announcement.”

Everyone grew silent as the red head took out an envelope and spoke. “I’d like to express our thanks to the Terachi’s by presenting you guys with this envelope.” He handed it to Mr. & Mrs. Terachi.

“what is this for?” Mrs. Terachi asked as she opened it. She gasped and took out cash from it. “Oh my……!!!!.”

The residents grinned.

Shinya blinked. “You guys shouldn’t have...”

Die shook his head. “We want you to have the money we earned from tips. We really don’t’ mind.”

“This is so wonderful!” Mr. Terachi exclaimed.

Mrs. Terachi could feel tears in her eyes. “Thank you so much for your kindness. We will never forget you all.”

Shinya looked around the table happily. They are such wonderful and genuine friends. He didn’t’ know how to express his happiness. “Thank you.” He said, smiling his rare-but-dazzling smile. “I-I can’t believe this is happening.”

Die smiled back. He felt so good that he could make his Shiin-chan so happy. He reached under the table and squeezed his koi’s hand tightly.

The entire table was drinking and having fun. Toshiya noticed Die holding Shinya’s hand lovingly, then stared at Kaoru’s hand still holding his. He hastily pulled it out and looked away, blushing hard.

Kaoru blinked at the sudden movement and stared at the back of Toshiya’s head.

~What in the world is going on?~ Kaoru thought.

*****

After dinner ended, everyone sauntered back to their rooms. Toshiya, Kaoru, Miyabi, and Hakuei walked in the halls. Hakuei tried to catch up to Miyabi, but Miyabi kept himself pre-occupied by being around Kaoru. That way, Hakeui wouldn’t be able to approach him.

Toshiya looked to his side and saw Miyabi whispering quietly to the purple head. He immediately wanted to push the look-alike out of the way and claw and scratch the pretty face up. Yet, he held his desires. He wondered what they were talking about.

“Kaoru-kun, is it alright if I room with you?” Miyabi whispered. His eyes looked at Kaoru’s pleadingly.

“Well, Totchi and I are already rooming together…”

“Please, Kaoru-kun. Just for one night. I don’t’ think I can handle being in the same room as Hakuei.”

“I can understand that.” Kaoru snorted. “But I know Kyo ended up rooming by himself; maybe you can go there.”

Miyabi shook his head. “I can’t. I know he’ll still go over and try to talk to me because Kyo will fall asleep. I don’t’ want to talk to him. The only way he’ll stop talking to me is if you’re around and if Toshiya’s around.”

Kaoru looked back to Hakuei, who has been following them. the blonde guy glared at him. Kaoru turned back around. “Why’s he so mad?”

“Well….” Miyabi’s face turned red. “…I can’t explain, but please consider my request.”

“We only have two mattresses…”

“Kaoru-kun, onegashimasu…”

Kaoru thought for a bit. If he asked Toshiya to switch with Miyabi, he’d definitely get a slap in the face or a temper tantrum. Also, Toshiya wouldn’t be comfortable rooming with his ex-koi. But what if…

Kaoru made a face. It could make the situation worse for him, but it would relieve Miyabi’s problems…

“Alright.”

Miyabi smiled brightly. He was so happy he hugged Kaoru.

Toshiya fumed.

Hakuei rolled his eyes.

“But you are rooming with Tohsiya and I’m rooming with Hakuei, OK?”

Miyabi stopped for a bit, but smiled and nodded afterward. He’d do anything to keep away from Hakuei, even if he had to room with the whiny brat. Besides, what could be so difficult having him room with Toshiya, and Kaoru room with Hakuei?

*****

Toshiya and kaoru reached their room. Immediately, Kaoru started gathering his belongings. Hopefully, if he was quick enough, he could leave the room before Toshiya could ask him what was going on.

Toshiya sat on his mattress and yawned. He was dead tired, but he still felt a lot of angry energy upon seeing Kaoru and Miyabi whispering so close in the hall. He pouted when he saw Kaoru gathering his clothes. He sat still and glared really hard at the back of Kaoru’s head.

The purple head stopped, as if he felt Toshiya’s eye beams. He slowly turned around and gave a guilty smile. “Oh, hi totchi ^^;;;”

Toshiya stood up and put a hand on his hip. “What are you doing?”

“Er… organizing…”

“Why?”

“Because we leave tomorrow…”

Toshiya raised an eyebrow. “we still have time tomorrow to pack before we leave, so why are you doing it now?”

“Well… you see…”

*****

Miyabi quickly shut the room’s door before Hakuei could enter it.

“MIYABI!!” Hakuei yelled as he tried to open the door.

Miyabi used all his strength to keep the door shut, then reached over and grabbed the coat hanger and lodged the door from sliding open.

Hakuei continued to yell and curse at the door, then started pounding on it. Miyabi completely ignored him and gather his items calmly. As soon as he finished, he stood to the side of the entrance. He swiftly pulled the coat hanger away and slid the door open.

Hakuei, who was charging at the door, fell into the room’s floor. Miyabi calmly stepped over him and went out the doors.

Hkuei cursed. “Dammit!”

Miyabi reached Kaoru’s room’s door and sighed in relief the fact that Hakuei wasn’t following him.

Then, he heard yelling from the inside.

“YOU WHAT!!!!!!!!!???????”

Toshiya. It couldn’t be anyone else.

He could hear Kaoru attempting to reason logic into the situation, but after a few seconds, he hears struggling. Worried, Miyabi slid the door open.

Miyabi: 00;;;

The young man stared at Kaoru and Toshiya, both on the mattress. Kaoru was lying down on his back with a petrified expression on his face. Toshiya was sitting on him, with legs wrapped around the purple head’s waist {^.^}  and his hands on Kaoru’s neck.  He didn’t’ look too happy.

“But Totchi….”

“You want me to room with the look-alike???!?!!??!”

Miyabi fumed. “I am NOT the look-alike here!”

Toshiya and Kaoru turned to look at him. Toshiya got off Kaoru and walked to Miyabi.

“Says who?” Toshiya retorted.

Miyabi did some sha-ne-ne finger snapping and began to make haughty remarks.

Kaoru took this as a good chance to escape, so he grabbed his tiny luggage and ran out the door to Hakuei’s room.

*****

Hakuei paced his room again and again. Cursing and cursing. Smoking and smoking. He turned off the fire alarm in his room. Thank God.

Suddenly, the door opened. He sneered when he saw Kaoru. “What the hell are YOU doing here?”

Kaoru stopped, then glared. “Miyabi requested this, not me.”

Hakuei glared. He watched Kaoru put his stuff down, but knew there was no way to reverse the situation. He sighed in resignation. He pulled his mattress as far away from Kaoru’s as possible, then sat on it and continued smoking. It’s only for one night. One night……..
 

Toshiya stared at the ceiling illuminated by the moon outside. Actually, he glared at it. It’s too difficult, especially with the presence of the younger look-alike on the other mattress beside him, to not glare at everything. He sniffed. He could smell Miyabi’s cologne in the air. He turned to his side and glared tat Miyabi, who had his back to the blue head. Toshiya spoke up. “You smell.”

Miyabi turned to his side and glared back. “At least I smell good.”

“You stink like fish.”

“You stink like fish crap.”

Toshiya stuck his tongue out.

Miyabi rolled his eyes and turned back around.

The blue head pouted, then sighed as he continued to stare at the ceiling. Now it was quiet. Too quiet. But he could tell Miyabi wasn’t asleep. After a few moments, he bit his lip. He just couldn’t hold in his question anymore.

“ne.” Toshiya spoke. ”Do you...”

Miyabi looked at him. “Do I what?”

Toshiya cleared his throat. “Do you like Kaoru?”

“Of course I like Kaoru.” Miyabi blinked. “Why’d you ask?”

“Oh. Well, you know…” Toshiya trailed off. “…why do you and Kaoru get along so well?”

Miyabi thought Toshiya’s questions were strange, but answered anyway. “Because we have so much in common.”

“Why do you like him?”

“Well,… he’s a very nice person. When someone has a problem, he won’t hesitate to try to help… why are you asking me this?”

“I’m just wondering.”

“Okay…” Miyabi got up to his elbow. “… then I’ll ask YOU a question: why do you like Hakuei?”

It was Toshiya’s turn to blink. What an uncomfortable question. “What do you mean by ‘like’ ?”

Miyabi clenched his jaw in anger. “Don’t play stupid. You know what I’m talking about.”

Toshiya furrowed his eyebrows. “I… I don’t think I like him the same way I used to…”

Miyabi immediately sat up and glared intensely. “Then why are you going out with him?!”

Toshiya got up. “Miyabi! We broke up!!”

“YOU WHAT?”

“We broke up.”

“You’re lying.” Miyabi shook his head in disbelief. “You’re lying to me! Why is everyone lying to me?!”

“Shut up!” Tohsiya yelled. “No one’s lying to you! Hakuei dumped me!”

Miyabi stared blankly at him. ”i know you’re lying. Hakuei adores you with all his heart. He had no reason to lost you.”

Toshiya closed his eyesm then slowly opened them again. “That’s why he dumped me… he told me he loves me…”

Miyabi winced. He knew about Hakuei’s feelings, but it hurt when someone said it.

“But he wanted me to be happy. So we’re over…” Toshiya stared at him. “If you don’t believe me, ask Kaoru, since he’s the only person you trust.”

Toshiya gave up and crawled back to bed.

Miyabi simply touched his head. He was starting to get a headache.

*****

A few doors down…

“Turn in off.”

Kaoru turned to Hakuei and shook his head. “NEVER>”

“I can’t sleep if it ticks too loud.” He pointed at Kaoru’s alarm clock.

“That’s your problem.”

Hakuei growled. “You put that thing as close to me as possible! You did that on purpose, didn’t you?!”

“Now why would I do something THAT childish?”

“Alright! That’s it!” Hakuei threw his covers down and marched toward the clock.

“Hey! Hey! HEY!!” Kaoru immediately got up, but it was too late. Hakuei grabbed the clock and threw it out the window.

“YOU BITCH!” Kaoru yelled.

Hakuei gave a smug and triumphant smile. “That’s what you get for messing with me.”

Kaoru sneered and grabbed Hakuei’s pack of cigarettes conveniently placed on the dresser table beside him.

Hakuei’s eyes widened. “Don’t you dare!”

Kaoru smiled evily as he slowly walked to the window. “Don’t dare to do what?”

“Fuck you!”

Kaoru raised an eyebrow and grinned wider. “OH-hohohoho…”

Hakuei shuddered. Having Kaoru grin like a madman and laugh like an evil anime villain was scary. After a few moments, Kaoru pulled his arm back and threw the cigars far out the window.

Hakuei yelled and watched in horror as the tiny box disappeared in the falling snow. Then, the turned hastily around and snarled at Kaoru like a mad wild wolf. {Ne… Hakuei reminds me of a wolf… don’t you think so? ~yk2~~}

Kaoru glared back. “That’s what YOU get for messing with ME!”

Hakuei stormed toward him and pushed him roughly. “Rat face!”

Kaoru pushed him back. “Dumb blonde.”

Pretty soon, the men were wrestling, scratching, and biting each other on the tatami floor. Suddenly, the door opened, but the two men didn’t notice. Shinya stood there with a n annoyed look on his face. Die stood behind him, grinning amusedly at the scene of two grown men fighting like playground children.

Shinya and Die stepped in, and Shinya slammed the door shut.

Die winced.

Kaoru and Hakuei stopped. After they took notice of Shinya, they abruptly stood up and looked sheepishly on the ground.

Shinya glared his trademark glare. “Some people next door are trying to sleep!! Why can’t you both keep quiet and not disturb anyone with your childishness!!”

Both men winced. “Gomendasai.”

Kaoru looked up. “You guys are next door?”

Shinya nodded. “Yes. And we’d appreciate some peaceful sleep!”

Kaoru raised an eyebrow and looked from Shinya to Die suspiciously. “ ‘peaceful sleep’?”

Shinya turned crimson. “Yes. Sleep.”

Die blushed and coughed.

Kaoru nodded slowly. “Ah… I see.”

“So keep quiet, ok?” Die said.

“But he’s being an ass.” Hakuei pointed to kaoru. “He threw away my cigars!”

“Man, that’s low.” Die commented.

Kaoru frowned. “He threw away my clock!”

Shinya crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s worth more than a pack of unhealthy cancer-causing sticks.”

“What are you talking about? I can’t live without those sticks!” Hakuei insisted.

“You started it” Kaoru retorted.

Shinya gave an exhasperated sigh. He walked to the bathroom across the hallway, and walked back into the room with a roll of toilet paper. He started unrolling it so the room was divided in two.

“Here.” He said. “One side is Kaoru’s. One side is Hakuei’s. Make a note to yourselves: don’t cross the line. I hear anymore nonsense, you’ll have to deal with me.” He walked out the door. “Come on, Die-kun.”

Die gave Kaoru and Hakuei a shrug and went off.

*****

Next day…

Die watched as everyone placed their luggages in the dilapidated van. It was amazing how one week came nad went so quickly. It was strange, but he was surely going to miss this place. He turn to his side and stared at the beauty. He was certainly going to miss him. He clasped his hand on the slender one and kissed it. Shinya looked at him strangely and blushed. Then his expression turned sad.

“Die-kun…” he said softly.

Die held him around the waist. “Shinchan?”

“Your’e leaving..”

“I know.” He kissed him on the cheek.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Shinya said. He was never the sentimental type. But he didn’t mind that right now.

“Don’t worry.” He stroked his cheek as he noticed the sad expression on his face. “Shinchan, please don’t be sad.”

Shinya felt his eyes glaze with tears. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

“Remember what you told Levin? I’m physically leaving you, but I’ll always be in your heart, ne?” Die smiled sweetly.

Shinya couldn’t help smiling back and kissing his lips again and again. Die kissed back with equal passion.

“Ahem!” a voice cleared its throat purposefully.

Die and Shinya broke up and blushed.

Kyo and the restof the students were all in the van, ready to leave.

“Hurry up and say your goodbye’s!” Kyo exclaimed.

“Shut up, Kyo!” Die yelled, but he was smiling broadly. He turned to his lover and gave a quick kiss on the lips. “See you later, Shinchan.”

“See you later, Die-kun.” Shinya said softly.

Die nodded and reluctantly jumped into the van and shut the door. It was going to be one long ride home.

*****

Kaoru sat in the middle seat of the taxi and felt the tension in the air. Toshiya sat to his right and Miyabi sat to his left. They decided to take the cab together because it was cheaper. He was on his way to the train station while the other two were on their way to the airport.

Kaoru could feel the malicious eyebeams the two bishounen were giving each other. There was nothing he could do about it, so might as well relax. He sighed out loud.

Toshiya gasped. “SEE? You’re making Kaoru sick from your ugly-fish cologne.”

“What are you talking about?!” Miyabi snapped. “I smell GOOD! Right, Kaoru-kun?”

”Umm.... ^^;”

”Come here, smell me.” Miyabi grabbed Kaoru’s head and pushed his face on his chest. “Don’t I smell better than that brat?”

“…Well…I guess…” Kaoru blushed.

“HEY!” Toshiya protested and grabbed Kaoru’s arm and pulled him to his side. He hugged him tightly. “Don’t taint my Kao-kao with your filth!!”

“I am NOT filthy! And Kaoru’s MY friend too!!” Miyabi pulled Kaoru’s bony arm.

Toshiya shrieked in irritation and pulled Kaoru’s other arm. “WELL! Kaoru’s MY ROOMMATE!!!”

Miyabi: “Brat!”

Toshiya: “Dirt!”

Kaoru: O_O;; “ano…”

A tug of war took place and soon, Kaoru felt as if his arms were going out of his sockets. “ …Guys…”

Suddeny, the taxi pulled to an abrupt stop, which sent the 3 men flying off their seats {Tsk. Tsk. No seatbelts?}

“What the fuck?” Toshiya exclaimed.

“We’re at the trainstation.” The cab driver announced.

“Oh.”

“Alright. Thanks.” Kaoru handed the driver cash and got out the door.

“Cab driver-san. Can you wait here?” Miyabi requested. “I’ve got to go to the restroom for a bit.” He got out the car as soon as the driver nodded.

Toshiya stared then said. “Me, too.” And stumbled out.

Miyabi immediately went to the Men’s Room, but Toshiya quickly spotted Kaoru sitting by his gate on a bench. He sat beside his roommate, which startled Kaoru.

“What are you doing here?” Kaoru asked.

Toshiya pouted.

Kaoru bit his lip. “Don’t even start whining that I don’t want you here because I don’t mind. I’m just wondering what you’re doing here. Shouldn’t you be in the taxi on the way to the airport?”

Toshiya crossed his legs. “My flight’s not in two hours. I have time to kill.”

“What about Miyabi?”

~Of course, it’s always Miyabi, isn’t it?~ Toshiya snorted. “He’s in the men’s room.”

Kaoru sighed. “Don’t kill each other on the way to the airport, OK?”

“I’ll try.” Toshiya said, slightly pouting.

A train passed by, then silence loomed over the two men. Kaoru started whistling nonchalantly as Toshiya sought the words he wanted to say.

“NE, kaoru.” Toshiya began.

Kaoru stopped whistling. “Nani?”

“Ano… remember what I asked you at the Terachi’s?”

“Totchi, you asked me a lot of things…”

“I know…”

“Which question?”

Toshiya bit his lip nervously and twisted it up. “After you played poker with Koji and Magumi, I talked with you about something…”

“Ah! Now I remember! You’re having relationship problems!”

“Not really… I…. “

“Well, I would tell you what I’ve told you before. Tell him how you feel.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“It’s only difficult if you say it’s difficult.”

“But Kaoru…”

“Hold your head high.”

“Kaoru…”

“Don’t’ lose your confidence!”

“Kaoru!” Toshiya exclaimed and stood up.

Kaoru blinked confusedly.

“Kaoru…” Toshiya pursed his lips, then opened them slowly. “….Aishiteru……”

Kaoru stared out the trees and birds the train passed by as he sat on his seat comfortably. The entire train was almost empty and silence dominated the air. He wanted to smoke so bad, but that meant going all the way to the last car of the train. He should’ve asked for a seat there.

Then Kaoru saw a clear, beautiful lake outside and stared at it. How pretty. The sun shone brightly on it and reflected a natural blue color…

~..’Aishiteru’…~

Kaoru shook his head. He could still see the almond shaped yes searching for an answer that he already knew. He could still sense the tension and apprehension in the air. Worst of all, he could still feel the guilt in his heart when he saw the pretty eyes fill with tears.

He’s never done that before. He never had made him cry for real. But what could he say? He couldn’t lie to Toshiya; so he told the truth. The truth.

Kaoru bit his lip. Was it really the truth?

Kaoru shook his head again. He needed to stop thinking. He needed to do something.

He took out his journal and started writing.

#####

Dear Journal,
It’s strange how one week came and went so quickly at the Terachi’s. it’s amazing how many things can happen and change in a matter of days.
Die and Shinya had the time of their lives. Die was definitely in a good mood. He talked to Shinya the whole time. He was supposed to room with me, but he spent his nights with his Shinchan. I don’t mind at all, just as long as both are happy.
Miyabi and Hakuei’s situation became worse. I don’t particularly know the details, but I caught them having a conflict in the hall way. Miyabi refused to room with Hakuei, so I ended up rooming with that bastard last night. He threw away my alarm clock! >.<!
It wasn’t a good rest. Our room was divided in half by toilet paper, but I suspect he moved it because I woke up with toilet paper all over me. Damn him!
Anyways, a lot more incidents occurred, but there’s too much to say….
#####

kaoru stopped. There wasn’t much to say; it was just HARD to say. Kaoru sighed in frustration and continued to stare out the window….
 

~*Flashback*~

Toshiya was clenching his hands so hard that his knuckles turned white. He waited and waited for an answer, even though he already knew Kaoru would reject him. Just by reading the expression on Kaoru’s face, he could tell already. It was so obvious.

Kaoru paled and felt a wave of shock through his body. He never expected this. Toshiya is his roommate! And what does Toshiya see in him that’s attractive?

Kaoru looked at Toshiya. The pretty eyes were searching him, but he could see an expression of disappointment; as if he already knew the answer.

Kaoru cleared his throat. “this is quite…. Sudden….”

Toshiya pursed his lip and didn’t reply.

“Well….” Kaoru said. “I… I don’t’ know what to say except I appreciate that someone actually feels that way about me.”

Toshiya simply nodded.

“And… I do care about you a lot, but…just not in the same manner. You’re a very good friend to me and you’re a very good person. I just don’t see you in that way…” Kaoru stopped.

Toshiya’s lips trembled and he bit his tongue to stop his tears from falling. “I understand.” He whispered. He blinked as a tear silently rolled down the perfect cheek.

Kaoru wanted to hit himself. “Totchi, I’m sorry….”

Toshiya shook his head. “Don’t apologize for expressing the truth.” He sniffed. “I really appreciate that you did that.”

“Demo…” Kaoru never liked to see Toshiya cry and he knew how it felt like to be rejected by the person you like. He could remember when he figured out Die and Shinya’s infatuation with each other. “Totchi…” he stepped closer to hug the younger man.

Toshiya stepped back. “No.” He insisted. “I’m OK. Really. Don’t worry. Daijyoubou.” Toshiya produced a sad smile and Kaoru felt something painful on his chest when he saw that.

“I’ll miss my flight.” Toshiya said. “Enjoy your trip.”

Kaoru blinked, speechless. What could he say? All his little muses and words of advise left him when he needed it the most.

Toshiya gave a slight nod, then left, leaving the purplehead rooted to the spot.

~*End flashback*~

the whistle sounded and the train moved to an abrupt stop. Kaoru started picking his bags. Once the doors were opened, he slung his bags and guitar case over his shoulders and jumped off the train. He pushed the painful thoughts on the back of his head as he walked toward the gate and saw his mother waving to him from a distance. He was finally home.

*****

“So how’s school?” Mrs. Nikkura, Kaoru’s mother, asked during dinner.

“Great.” Kaoru replied.

It was common for Kaoru to give one-word answers, but his mother wasn’t blunt. She was sharp.

She continued to observe him as he chewed the rice absently and drank the water slowly. “You’re having a problem, aren’t you?”

Kaoru almost choked on his drink. “W-what? No. everything’s fine. I’m just tired.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You know better than to lie to your mother.”

“But…”

“I know you. I didn’t raise you by myself without knowing what you’re like. I can tell you’re just upset because your eyebrows are knitted and you’re thinking deeply to yourself. What is it this time?”

“It’s only a minor problem.”

“Minor? A problem is a problem. If you have a minor problem, then you wouldn’t mind telling me; if you do have a major problem, then you WOULD mind telling me.”

Kaoru frowned. He should’ve remembered that he genetically inherited his logical skills from someone.

“So,” his mother continued. “is it school? Homework?” she thought for a minute. “No. that can’t be the reason. If you worried about the academics, you would’ve eaten your dinner in 2 seconds so you can work on the problem. It has to be a person!”

“Well…”

Mrs. Nikkura snapped her fingers. “AHA! You have a girlfriend, don’tyou?”

“Oka-san!”

“That has to be it!”

“NO! I don’t’ have a girlfriend. I’m just…”

“What?”

Kaoru frowned. “I’m just upset because I upset someone.”

“Who did you upset?”

“My roommate.”

“Well, you’d better apologize or compromise because you live with this person.”

“Oka-san… it’s not that easy. We’ve become really close, but he asked me a question. I answered and it made him upset. He insisted he’s OK, but I can tell he’s very hurt. And I felt terrible because I hurt him.”

His mother nodded slowly. “Do you want to stay roommates? There is an option of switching----.”

“NO!” Kaoru exclaimed, then his voice toned down. “I… I don’t think I can live with anyone else…”

Mrs. Nikkura sighed. ”Kaoru, you’re just like your father sometimes.”

Kaoru blinked. He never really knew his father. His father passed away when he was a baby.

She shook her head. “you feel terrible not because you hurt him. You feel terrible because you want to take back what you said, but you can’t because you already said it.”

Kaoru blinked. “But I meant what I said.”

“You meant what you said, but that doesn’t mean it’s the truth.”

“I know I told the truth.” Kaoru insisted.

“Be sure your response is coming from your heart.” Mrs. Nikkura got up and piled the dishes. “you can’t always rely on logic.”

******

Kaoru walked forward across the local cemetery with a large bunch of freshly picked flowers at hand. He had his guitar slung over one shoulder. He readjusted the strap because it became uncomfortable, then walked again. He always paid his visit every year, and he always played a new song he himself composed. He knew hide-sensei would be happy to hear he never gaveup guitar.

Kaoru was close to hide’s grave when he stopped in his tracks. He saw a heavily familiar figure stooping down and placing something on hide’s grave.

A boquet of roses.

“P-professor?”

Ysohiki turned and blinked, surprised to see someone from Diety Hall. “Well, it’s quite a surprise to see you here.”

“Same here.” Kaoru said. “You… you knew hide-sensei?”

Yoshiki nodded, then noticed the guitar case slung over the student’s shoulder. “You were hide’s student?”

“Hai.”

“…………” Yoshiki was speechless. “So… I see…”

“What were you to hide-sensei?”

Yoshiki turned away with guilt. “He was… a friend to me..”

Kaoru looked at him suspiciously. “Then how did you know this guitar was hide’s? only the people close to him knew that his will said I could have his guitar.”

“Kaoru. It’s a very complicated situation. Let’s just say we were very close.”

“You mean, you and hide-sensei were lovers.”

“………..…..”

Kaoru sighed. He placed the flowers right next to the roses and stood up. He prayed silently then remained quiet.

Yoshiki was surprised. “You’re… you’re not angry…”

Kaoru stared at him. “There’s no reason to be angry.”

“but it’s my fault---“

“What happened was nobody’s fault. If hide-sensei were still alive, he would let the matter rest and move on. I’d like to follow his example. He’d want nothing more than our love and happiness.”

Yoshiki looked at Kaoru, then at hide’s picture on the grave. He took a deep breath.

“May he rest in peace…….”

*****

Kaoru went shopping with a former high school friend of his after the surprising meeting with Yoshiki. He and Kisaki decided to walk around the small downtown shops. ‘Downtown’ seemed an overstatement though. Because the stores were more like small-town village shops; most of them were arts and crafts stores.

“Kaoru, you’ve grown quite a bit since you left.” Kisaki observed.

Kaoru frowned. “I havent’ grown at all. I’m still the scrawny skeleton boy all the football players picked on.”

Kisaki laughed. “I didn’t mean that. I meant that I can see the dark circles growing on your eyes. Don’t tell me you have med-school syndrome.”

“Kisaki, you’re still the same. How’s life?”

“Great. I’ll be graduating this coming year.”

Kaoru gaped. “Wow. All those AP Credit does help!”

“Yep.”

Kisaki went to a local community college. He is a very intelligent guy, scored perfect on the Physics and History AP Exams. Unfortunately, he had to stay there because his father grew ill.

“How’s your love life?” Kisaki suddenly asked.

Kaoru gawked.

Kisaki shrugged. “Your mother told me.”

Kaoru pouted. “I—AM—SINGLE.”

“Sure.”

“I AM!! I’m too busy for such trifle matter.”

“I wasn’t talking about trifle matters, I was just asking about the love life.”

“Look. My roommate IS trifle. Trifel is an understatement, actually. But you don’t’ understand how complicated this is.”

Kisaki was silent.

Kaoru stared at him. “What?”

Suddenly, Kisaki gave a wide beam. “Aha! So you have a thing for you roommate!”

Kaoru frowned. “Kisaki…”

“Oh, don’t worry. You can tell me everything.”

Kaoru sighed. “Let’s just say that something was said and I hurt him and I would like to attone for the pain I caused him.”

“He asked you if you liked him back, didn’t he?”

“Kisaki…”

“Maa. That is complicated ne. I suggest you clear things out.”

“You know I suck at words.”

“No, you don’t. you’ve got a way with logic that you infuse with words. I’ve know you quite a while, Nikkura-san”

It’s true. He and Kisaki have been friends quite a while. They stuck together like glue all through high school. At one point, Kaoru had an immense crush on him, but quickly tampered his feelings down. He was leaving for college, and besides, Kisaki was straight. Kaoru’s grateful to have Kisaki as a good friend though. Even after Kisaki found out about Kaoru’s crush, their terms of friendship remained unchanged.

Kaoru sighed. “I know… but it’s different this time. I can’t seem to think of what to say; and when I do, the words are caught in my throat. It’s… it’s so difficult to talk when I know I’m hurting him….”

Kisaki simply nodded. Normally, he would tease his friend, but he could see how disturbed Kaoru was about the matter. “I have a suggestion, if you’d like to consider.”

Kaoru blinked.

“Write him a note.” Kisaki said. “Or give him a card or a present. Something that will give an excuse for you to talk to him. It also eases the tension when an object is involved.”

Kaoru nodded. “You know… that’s an excellent idea.”

*****

After Mrs. Nikkura drove Kaoru to the train station and kissed him goodbye, Kaoru walked up the steps to find his gate. His mother had work and Kisaki had to tend to his father. The visit was quick, but as heartless as it seems, Kaoru wanted nothing more than to go back to Diety Hall. He missed the dorm, the people… especially….

He passed by a small newspaper stand and a small gift shop. He walked up to the window to stare at it. The store was similar to the gift shop on High Street, the same one Toshiya loved to go to. Toshiya…

Suddenly, he saw it.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

He ran inside the store and practically scared the shit out of the clerk. “How much is that thing outside?” Kaoru demanded.

“Er.. ano.. what thing?”

Kaoru pointed at it.

“OH. That’s a genuine original and hand crafted. That’ll be $70.”

Kaoru gawked. “$70!!!!!”

The clerk grinned. “Take it or leave it.”

Kaoru pursed his lip. All clerks are the same. “I’ll take it.”

The clerk’s grin broadened and Kaoru suddenly felt gypped off his money, but he didn’t’ care.

He grabbed the box and skipped out the store. He really couldn’t wait for Toshiya to see it. He couldn’t’ wait to see his eyes sparkle in enthusiasm and happiness.

Strange.

He was really excited about going back to the dorm, but he was even more excited about seeing Toshiya smile again.
 

CONTD @ ~ Episode 41: Back to Diety Hall