Writers: yukimi2 and apeman

Dedicated to: Genkichan, CherieBebe, Loreley-chan, Valna-chan, the *Oxley* ppl, and all those wonderful fic writers out there.

Author's Preface: This is a parody of Agatha Christie's novel "Ten Little Indians". ^^; SILLY Murder-mystery. This is rated R!!! B/c of some content and our demented sense of humor. I apologize to those who are uncomfortable or defended. And yes, Jrockers do 'die' in this (*gasp* blasphemy!!) But please remember during the 'exciting and excruciating emotions' dealt w/ in the fic that this is just a fic. Ok ok. YOu've been warned; etc, etc, just read....

Cast:

Act I

 (CURTAIN RISE)

Popular and rather homosexual j-rockers from all over Japan were invited to a mysterious mansion (located out in nowhere, where only one train passes by for days) for a party.  Little did they know that it might be their final party……

 (in the train...)

Ken: neh, yuki, do you know who invited us?

Yukihiro: nah, dawg. But I’m bringin’ my station just in case other doggs come.

Hyde: WOW! Tet-chan, LOOK! (looking outside)

Tetsu: (ignoring hyde) the letter’s signed by an “Uhikaru”.

Ken: (smoking) who da hell?

Tetsu: not any j-rocker I know.

Hyde: WAAAAAAAA!!!! LOOK! LOOK! ^0^!

 ****

Sugizo: man, I wish I could take out my violin.

J: shut up, man. I wish I could have some booze. *urp*

Ryuichi: this train ride is, like, so uncomfortable. And my hair!

Inoran: *snore*

Shinya: I… hate… every… single… one… of… you! *clench!*

 ***

Hyde: TET-CHAN! It’s Glay!

Tetsu: uh-huh. Neh, yuki, I’m hungry. Could I have some of your—

Yukihiro: NEVER! *snarling w/ drool dripping from corner of mouth*  The pocky’s mine!

Tetsu: (growl) my stomach…. T_T

Hyde: I know how to make it better! (smirk)

Tetsu: wha?! No! Not here!

Hyde: PLEASE?! *big Riiya eyes*

Ken: heehee. Let’s go, yuki.

Yukihiro: heehee. Yeah, we’ll leave you alone. (munch, munch)

Tetsu: No! Don’t leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh. Oh, hyde……

Ken: yuck! That makes me sick.

Yukihiro: yeeesh! they’re gonna take forever. How am I supposed to make ten pieces of pocky last that long?

Ken: dunno. (looks into the room with tetsu and hyde) whoa! Be glad you didn’t see that one….

 ***

Jiro: hey, it’s ken and yuki. Wassup, guys?

Yukihiro: Hey, Jiro. Was Glay invited to the party?

Jiro: yah, but it’s signed by someone named “Namuro”.

Ken: who da @$#! Is that?

Jiro: dunno, man. But teru and Hisashi are in some disgusting positions in the cargo area.

Ken: hyde and tetsu, too.

Yukihiro: (munch, munch) neh, where’s Takuro?

Jiro: he spotted Luna sea and went over.

Ken: Luna Sea? They’re invited? All right! I’ll have a drinking partner then!

 ***

Ryuichi: like, where’s the bathroom? My face is, like, horrible!

Evil Voice: yo’ damn right it is!

Ryuichi: WHAT?! Who the hell?!

*suddenly a large cape twirled over Ryuichi’s head*

Ryuichi: you, like, come back here!

*the small spiky- headed dwarf teleported away with an evil laugh*

***

Sugizo: aahh! (starts to play “Providence” on his violin)

J: thank god ryuichi’s not here.

Inoran: yah.

Takuro: (slams the door open) SUGIZO!!!

Sugizo: (gasp!) Takuro!!! (drops his violin in slow motion and starts running to Takuro with open arms)

J: Let’s go….

Inoran: hey, I think I saw Rouage somewhere up front.

J: who the hell is Rouage? (as they walk into another cabin)

Shinya: …hate….youuuuuuu….. (crawls away)

 ***

Gackt: (singing Mizerable) mowaru,mowaru…..

Evil voice: heeheehee…

Gackt: a-re?

*BOP!*

Gackt: OWWW!!!

Evil voice: WAAHAAAHAAA!!!!! (drops the inflatable bat and lunges out the window) *crash!* WAAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Gackt: what the @#$? (hits his head on the ceiling as he tries to stand up)

Gackt: ngraaaa!!! Stupid Japanese trains! (looks outside and sees mansion) Eh, looks like I’ve arrived.

 ***

Tetsu: Aaaaahhhh…. I feel so much better….

Hyde: (naked, but doesn’t care) TET-CHAN! LOOK! It’s the mansion!!!

***

*Train makes a stop*

***

J: (carrying all of Luna Sea’s bags) I’m alone as usual….

Ken: J!

J: Ken! Kick-ass!

Ken: so what’s in your luggage? (grins)

J: You damn well know!

Ken and J: BOOZE!!! (howl like wolves)

Yukihiro: (sweat drop ^^9) munch, munch

***

Gackt: (spots Malice Mizer) oh shi—!

Mana: ooh, gackuto…. ^0^!

Gackt: (carrying his bags) eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! #_#

Kozi: god, those two…

***

Jiro: wow…

Sugizo: it’s huge, isn’t it, Takuro?

Takuro: (with arm around sugizo’s waist) yeh. There are bound to be dozens of rooms with large, soft beds, neh?

Sugizo: (blush) teehee (leans head on Takuro)

* Teru and Hisashi emerge from the train’s cargo with each other’s clothes on backwards*

Teru: *puff, puff*. Wow…

Hisashi: rooms with large, soft beds…. (drool =P::::)

Teru: (starts to shake) yah….

Jiro: man! I’m gonna hang out with some straight people! (pouty lips)

***

Ryuichi: like, wow. It looks like one of yoshiki’s mansions or something, you know.

Shinya: ggrrrrrrrrrr…….

Inoran: I think it is ‘cause that’s Yoshiki at the door, right?

Everyone: HUH?!

***

Yoshiki: hallo, minna! What are you all doin’ at my mansion?

Inoran: well, we were invited over to this mansion for a party.

Yoshiki: (blank look) I didn’t invite anyone but Toshi.

Toshi: (explodes from inside the mansion) HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!*

*like a bat and a mouse getting it on

(Toshi’s squealing causes the windows shatter)

Everyone: aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Toshi: (mouth wide open, chin protruding) HOW’S EVERYONE?????!!!!!!

Jiro: (crack!) my eardrum…… eh? (sees Pierrot arrive) Hey, they’re straight…

Yoshiki: Toshi, please, you’re embarrassing me… everyone, come in! we’ll figure out the mix up inside.

* Thunder and lightning*

Mana: Aaaiiiiiii!!!!!

Izam: what a woman!

Gackt: Shazna! When did you get here? (carrying Mana the way Fred carries Daphne in the Scooby doo show)

Niy: just now.

Aoi: yah, we didn’t take the train ‘cause we figured there’d be a bunch o’ gay j- rockers.

Izam: not like us! Ohohohohohoho! ^0^!

Gackt: er…yeah.

Hyde: (WITH clothes on, skips into the mansion) YAY!

(Tetsu follows with Inoran and Malice Mizer close behind)

Teru: I’m so excited! (enters with Hisashi inside teru’s shirt)

Takuro: c’mon, sugi! We best get in fast to get first pick on a room!

(Gackt, still carrying Mana, and Shazna walk into the mansion with Rouage right behind)

Jiro: (walking towards Pierrot) Hi!

Kirito: slurp, slurp (about to lick Aiji like in their concerts)

Jiro: (stops, stares, and walks quietly into the mansion)

Takeo: hey, that was Jiro.

Kirito: (drooling) so?

Kohta: sigh. C’mon, takeo-kun. Let’s head on in. (they enter the mansion behind a dazed Jiro)

Jun: hey! What about the luggage?

Aiji: Jun! Shut up! You take the luggage in!

Jun: (quietly) yes, sir. ;_;

Soon kirito and aiji enter the mansion behind yukihiro and shinya. Ken and j, both already drunk, were the last ones in. Er…….

Kyo: (with bruises and ripped clothing) heehee. I made it. Even after I jumped out of the train! (talks into a walkie- talkie) I’ve found them!

***

Toshi: HERE, EVERYWAAAAAAAAANNN!!!!!!! (hands tea to everyone)

Everyone: ARIGATO!!!!!!

Ryuichi: like, where’s yoshiki?

Toshi: IN THE KITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! (yelling to the ground like he does in TV specials)

Yukihiro: I think I’ll head over there, doggs.

Ken: dogs? * hic* dogs?

J: (urp) where’s the bathroom? (they stumble into a dark hallway)

Kohta: neh, what should we do?

Takeo: dunno (shrugs shoulders)

Rouage: LET’S WATCH “Legend of Basara”!!!!

Aiji: who the hell are you?

Rouage: WE’RE Rouaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

* the lights go out and Rouage screams*

Mana: AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!

Gackt: whoa! (thud)

Ryuichi: like, what the hell?

Toshi: WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEELLLLLL???

Jiro: goddammit, it’s probably Dir en Grey.

*the lights come back on to expose four dead bodies of Rouage*

-to be con't-

(Yk2: well, it's one silly fic ^_^ It is a bit early, but Ape and I wanna hear who ppl think is the murderer! Email us, PLEASE!!!! ^_^.)

(Ape: chyeah!)