38 Little Jrockers ACT IV All: (screaming, except for Toshi’s squealing, which breaks a few mirrors) (lights go on) Jiro: Eeep! Am I still alive? (feels his face) Yoshiki: Oh, no! Not another dead body to clean up! >_<. Inoran: Yo-chan! We still haven’t found anyone dead yet! Yoshiki: If this keeps up, there’s going to be no room in the freezer! THEN I’ll have to use the cellar! J: (hic) WHAT? (hic) The CELLAR! Damn, Yo-chan! Why don’t you just (hic) bury them outside?? You can’t put corpses with these babes (holds up a bottle of bourbon) Yoshiki: >_< Dammit, there’s a typhoon outside, &I have a rose garden collection, ---------would you stop drying up my cellar collection! Go watch my porno collection upstairs! Ken: Hot dawg! (hic) You got a collection for everything! Porn! Where? J: DUDE, let’s (hic) go, man. (staggers upstairs with Ken) Yoshiki: MOU~! Izam: Yo-chan’s sexy when he’s mad. (puts arm around Yoshiki) Yoshiki: uhh…. ^^;;;; NIY: Where’s AOI? (starts to panic) Don’t tell me he’s dead!!! Jiro: A member of fruity Shazna?…….. Inoran: …..dead? Jiro & Inoran: (shrug) Oh well. NIY: AOI!! DOKOO!! T_T. Answer me, my love. Teru: (still wailing from the other room) HISAAA-chAaANNnnNnNnn---(voice cracks from wailing for the past hour) Inoran: Jesus! Does he ever stop! This is unbearable! Toshi: (bursts in from some room) YOSHIKIIII!!!!!! I’LL SAVE YOUUUUUUU!!!!! (rushes to Shazna & Yoshiki as mirrors around him break every step he takes) Jiro: Now THAT’s unbearable. NIY: EEEKKK!!! (Jiro, Inoran, & Yukihiro rush over to NIY) Yukihiro: What’s wrong? NIY: (points to a dead AOI on the bottom of the couch) T_T…my…my love…. Jiro: oh, it’s only AOI. Inoran: Man, and I thought there was actually SOMEONE dead NIY: AOI is dead! You bakas! Yukihiro: wha? You mean to say he’s a “someone”?? Jiro: (scratches head) dammit, now I’m confused. Tetsu: (rushes in from bathroom, slightly ruffled, with a half naked Hyde right behind him) Not to worry! I’m here! Sherlock Tet-chan desu! Hyde: (flushed) ^_^ tee-hee Watson-Haido desu! Jiro: That’s gay! Hyde: WAHHHHH! ;_; Tet-chan! He made fun of me! Tetsu: Made fun of what, Haido? We ARE gay. Hyde: (stops crying) oh. Tetsu: Anyways, since Mana is tied up in the other room; this means that HE’S not the one responsible for the murder of AOI, Hisashi--- Teru: HISA-CHANNNN!! Tetsu: ahem…and, uh, what were those guys called? Robogu? Raege? Roogrum? Booga-booga? Inoran: um, I think it’s ROUAGE. Tetsu: er, yeah. Those guys….SO, let’s go see Mana. ++++ (Jiro, Inoran, Izam, Yoshiki, Toshi, Hyde, Ryuichi, Tetsu, and Yukihiro enter the study) Teru: (still wailing in the same spot) HISAAAA---kkskkskvc—channnnnn---(voice cracking) Jiro: Geez! Maybe we should feed him some of Gackt’s prozac. Yukihiro: look! Mana’s over there. (Hyde goes up and unties Mana.) Hyde: anoo…Mana-chan? Mana-chan? (Hyde pats Mana on the face, then jumps) EEEP!!! O_O Tetsu: What is it Haido? Hyde: He’s DEAD!!!! EWW! His skin’s all cold and icky! Inoran: whoa. 2 murders in a row! Now this is getting interesting. Tetsu: hmmmm..so far, there’s only been one band member per group that has died, which means….. Hyde: …whoever’s next has to be one of the L’arc members….#_# Inoran: …or Luna Sea ….#_# Jiro: …or those delinquent goth kids or Pierrot or Xjapan… Toshi: (Toshi & Yoshiki look at each other #_#) BUT THERE’S ONLY MEEEEEEEE & YOSHIKI-SAMAAAAAAAA (mirror cracks) Ryuichi: (was combing his hair by the mirror) Dude, Toshi! What the hell is up, with, like, you! Like, grow up! It’s getting harder and harder, to, like, find the surviving mirrors in the house! (rolls eyes and takes out his portable mirror) Toshi: I’M SORRYYYYY!!!!!!!!! (crack) Ryuichi: -_-***** Yoshiki: Not to worry. I always have Toshi over my sexy bod----I mean, I always have Toshi over my house ne. ^^;; heh-heh. I’m always prepared. (Takes out a remote. Presses button. Another mirror automatically slides on the broken one) I had this system custom-made in Germany. Ryuichi: (not hearing Yoshiki brag about his riches, beams at his mirror reflection) Ooooo. You sexy mama, you. Jiro: ^^; Inoran: ^^; You get used to him. Yukihiro: so, now what do we do? Yoshiki: >_< DAMMIT! Dispose of the bodies! Hyde: Eeew. No way. They’re all icky. I’m not doing it! Izam: Wait. Wasn’t that Teru guy the only one here when Mana got killed? (pause) Izam: …and wasn’t he the only one by himself when AOI got wasted? (pause) Izam: ehhhh… Tetsu: Oh my god! Izam for once makes sense. Izam: -_-* what’s that supposed to mean. NIY: So Teru is the killer?? (All turn to look at Teru) Teru: (wails) HISAAAAA---ckkkkk---- (hoarse voice) All: ^^;;;;; …. Teru: ----channnn-----ckkkkk All: …..Nah….. ++++ Kaoru: (bursts into room) Yo-sama! We have a problem! Yoshiki: I thought I told you to stop harassing Pierrot! Kaoru: (in tears) that’s not it! Toshiya------- Toshiya is------- Hyde: (jumps on Tetsu’s arms) Eeep! Not more dead people! Yoshiki: NO! not toshiya!!!! Izam: Tsk! They always have to kill off the cute ones! Kaoru: NO!NO!NO! T_T. we—we can’t get him out! He got locked in the freezer with Die. Yoshiki: (sigh of relief) Geezus, Kaoru. Why didn’t you say so? Toshi: YEA< KIIIIIIIIIDD!!!!!!!! All: EEEEEAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Yukihiro: *UUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPP* must have been that pocky… Kaoru: let’s go! Toshi: OOOOOOKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! (fist clenched tight) *house shakes* (all start running to the kitchen) Tetsu: what the hell? I’m running the way shaggy does on Scooby doo… Hyde: (on all fours) really?! Tetsu: er……. Jiro: what’s with the hanna Barbara sound effects? Hyde: they’re so cute sounding,ne? Ryuichi: (runs into Izam) like, ouch! Izam: ooh, ryuichi…. Inoran: let’s go, ryuichi…. Ryuichi: but my hair and clothes and …… Inoran: fine. Let’s go, izam. Izam: ok.*trot trot trot* ++++ *kitchen* Kirito: *moooaaaaaaannnn!!!!!!* Aiji: that’s it, kirito. Sing! Sing! SING! *slurpslurpslurp* Jun: uhh….. Takeo: waitaminute. Isn’t heyheyhey on? (turns to jun) Jun: (vomiting) guhhhh……. (shrugs shoulders) Takeo: dammit, I missed it! Gackt: puff, puff… help me! (clothes torn up) what the…..? *gets trampled by jrockers* Kyo: FINALLY! (head on fire, make-up melting) Kaoru: here it is, yoshiki-sama…. (bows before his master) Yoshiki: good. (waves Kaoru away) now to find the keys…. Hyde: yeahyeahyeah!!!!! (mouth wide open w/ a smile) Tetsu: (smoking a pipe) like Sherlock, right, jiro? Jiro: ne, you don’t smoke, do you? Tetsu: er….. (starts coughing the way teru does) gaaaaaahhhh!!!! Yukihiro: *UUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPP* must be the pocky, doggs…. Yoshiki: (fumbles pockets for keys) (and fumbles….) ( and fumbles…) ^^;;; ano….I can’t find the keys to the freezer. Kaoru/Shinnya/Kyo: @_@.….. Yoshiki: I thought I put them in my pocket ^^; Toshi: HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!! LET ME HELP YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! (shock wave) (Toshi shoves hand on Yoshiki’s back pocket) Yoshiki: ooOOohhh, Toshi….not here, babe…. Toshiya: (muffled cries from the freezer) HHEELLLPPP!! AHHHHHH!! LEMMEE OUTTTT! Kirito: (to Toshiya) That’s what you get for stealing my playground! Aiji: Kirito, pay attention….mmmm~! *slurpslurp* Toshiya: LLEEEMMMEEE OUTTT! (Sugizo, Takuro, Shinya, Kozi, & Yu~ki walk into kitchen) Sugizo: I don’t know what’s going on, but shut that kid up! This is a disruption. Takuro: God. We were getting to the good part to, ne, Sugi-chan? Kozi: Gackt! There you are. (looks on the floor where a bunch of Jrockers are standing) Gackt: #_# nooooo…. Yu~ki: ^0^. Ga-ku-to-san!!!! (Yu~ki & Kozi peel Gackt from the floor and start fighting over him) Toshi: FOUND IIIITTTTTT!!!! (eyes popping out from his sockets) Yoshiki: Thanks, luv. (takes the keys and unlocks the freezer door.) (Freezer door opens) All: *_* Takeo: hmmm..we shouldn’t be interrupting. Toshiya: (w/ frozen hair & a dead Die, ahem, on top of him) Eepp! >_< Don’t just stand there. Get him off me! Kirito: ne Aiji, we should try doing that position sometime. Aiji: *gurgle* Sugizo: (licks his lips) mmmmm~! (Takuro & Sugizo stare at Die & Toshiya, then stare at each other. Runs to the upstairs bedroom, taking clothes off and leaving garments along the way) Izam: wow, To-chan. I didn’t know you had such sexy legs. Toshiya: &_&! Eeeek! Don’t touch me. Hentai! And don’t look up my kimono! Hyde: So what, To-chan? Since Die’s dead, you’re single. (Jiro, Inoran, and the normal people get Die off of Toshiya) Toshiya: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHh!!! (sob sob sob) I can’t believe this happened!! ;_; Kaoru: aw. Don’t cry, To-chan. (holds Toshiya) Shinnya: (fuming w/ jealousy) -_-***** Jiro: well, the only dead body left to clean up is AOI. NIY: (walks in carrying AOI) *sniff* Rest in peace….my love….. (puts AOI on some guy from ROUAGE) Izam: It’s OK, NIY. You’ve got me =) NIY: (looks at Izam) Izam-chan….(sob) (hugs) Jiro: Hey. We forgot a corpse. (Jiro and Inoran start dragging an unconscious Kohta into the freezer) Jun: ~*_*~Wait! He’s not dead. Inoran: oh, ok. (drops the body) *konk* Kohta: Ow~. What the….? Jun: (teary eyed) Kohta-kun. You’re awake! (hug) Kohta: Get off me! I’m not like that! (lights out) All: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (glass shatters in the west end of the room….but no one’s shocked by it…) (lights on) Yukihiro: Dude. More dead bodies. Tetsu: hmmm. Guess my whole “a members per band shall die” theory isn’t effective. (inspects Izam and NIY’s corpses) Yoshiki: I don’t care! Just get them in the freezer!! >_< Inoran: hai-hai! Toshiya: Oh, Kaoru, I’m scared. (leans head on Kaoru) Kaoru: (holds Toshiya) heh-heh. Don’ worry, To-chan. Shinnya: >=( (red battle aura surrounds him) Kaoru: umm…what’s wrong, Shinnya? Shinnya: Kaoru-chan, BAKA!!! (tears stream down and smudge the make-up as he stalks out of the room) Kyo: Dammit. Not again! Hyde: Tet-chan. It’s boring in here. Let’s go. +++++ (Master bedroom) Takuro: Mmmm~! De-lish-ous! Sugizo: Ne, Taku. It’s getting boring doin’ it here all night. Let’s go somewhere more….enticing. Takuro: oh, but I like the velvet covers here. Sugizo: But Taku!! (pouts) *doorbell rings* Sugizo & Takuro: ???eh??? (both get off bed and rush down the stairs) (Sugizo trips over a previously discarded clothing on the stairs) Sugizo: Eeek. Taku help me! (Takuro doesn’t hear & keeps running to the front door) Sugizo: >_< Mou~! Ken: (on top of stairs) What the (hic) fuch? J: Who’s knocking at this hour? (hic) (Everyone gathers by the front lobby) Yoshiki: Who the hell could that be? (goes & opens door) Chorus of voices singing: Nippon no mirai…..oh – wow x4 Jrockers: #_#. MORNING MUSUME?!?!? -cont'd- |