38 Little Jrockers ACT V (The Jrockers are trying to shut the front door, but Morning Musume after Morning Musume somehow squeeze) Hyde: It’s no use. There’s too many of them. Tetsu: I give up (settles on a Lazy boy) Yoshiki: NOOO!! T_T. I have to save my mansion. I can’t have these giggling googlies--- (too late. With a burst of energy, the Jrockers were thrown back as tons of Musume girls, clad in similar outfits, pour in.) Musume girl #1: Where’s the host? We got an invitation or something to come here. (Waves an envelope) Yoshiki: DOH! I DID NOT invite ANYONE but my TOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!! Jiro: You’re starting to sound like him too. Yoshiki: grumble. Grumble. Ken: dude, hot babes! *hic* (staggers into Musume after Musume. Everything starts spinning around him) Whoa, J! I’m drinking so much that I’m seeing double. Cool. J: Hey, Yo-chan, *hic* you didn’t have to do this for us. Heh-heh. (puts arm around Musume girl #18) Musume girl #18: (w/ NY accent) Lay off, bozo! I’m taken! (shoves J away) J: (staggers. Peers into Musume #18’s face) *goes green* ugh. Ken: I take that back. These are pretty vugly babes. Musume #18: (slaps J & Ken) Who you callin’ vugly? Ken: Hey. Have I seen you before? J: (recognizes Musume #18) Ahhh! It’s the wicked Dominatrix Mrs. Shinya Musume! (hides behind Ken) Kaoru: @_@. WHAT? Shinnya! What’s the meaning of this!? Shinnya: not ME, Kaoru-chan! The other Shinya! I’m gay dammit! (grumbles) hmp! Why should you care anyway? You have To-chan to fuck. Toshiya: (grin) oh shut it, Shinnya. No matter what you do, he always comes back to me (twirls Kaoru’s hair) Kaoru: (blush) Shinnya: To-chan, hidoi! I thought you were my best friend ;_; (runs off, crying) Kaoru: Shinnya, matte!! Toshiya: (holds Kaoru tighter) Oh, Kaoru-chan. Don’t leave me. Kohta: (on couch munching chips. Watching DEG’s predicament) mmm. This is getting good. *much munch* Takeo: *munch* Yea. This beats Hey Hey Hey. Jun: (blows nose) *sniff* This is so dramatic ;_; Aiji: Dammit! Get that Musume outta the way. I can’t see the show. (Musume girls keep piling into the house, overcrowding the lobby room.) Hyde: anoo… fifty, fifty-five,…and every time one leaves, three more join the group…… Tetsu: forty-three, forty-four, ….forty-six! Wow. Forty-six Musume girls! Hyde: NUH-UH! There’s fifty-five!!! Testu: forty-six! Hyde: fifty-five! Teeeeet-chaaaaaaaan! (whine) Tetsu: Dammit, Hyde! Do you have to whine about EVERYTHING!! Hyde: (starts sniffling) ;_; (walks off with head low) Tetsu: Haido, I--- Yukihiro: oh, man! (announces to everyone) Tetsu made his bitch cry!!! Tetsu: WHAT? I--- Inoran: “bitch?” But Haido’s a guy. Yukihiro: (shrugs) Go see Blurry Eyes MV and you’ll understand. Ken: Fuch, Yuki, don’t remind me. *goes green* J: aww, SHIT! (runs off w/ Ken to the bathroom) Takuro: Tetsu, that’s cruel! Sugizo: I thought you were better than that! Toshi: YEAAAAA!!!!! GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! APOLOGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tetsu: (after the ringing in his ears die down) but---but---I didn’t mean to! >_< Toshi: GOOO!!!----MMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!!----- (Sugizo stuffs his mouth with rosin) Yukihiro: God! Even his muffling hurts my ears!! Sugizo: But it’s not as bad. Takuro: Anyways….TETSU! What up with that?? Sugizo: Yeah. Aren’t you a man?? Yukihiro: I TELL you. Go see the Blurry Eyes MV…it’ll answer all your questions about that….(thinking to himself: Glad I wasn’t part of L’arc when that video was shot) (Musume girls start getting bored standing around the lobby room. They start fiddling with Yoshiki’s stuff.) Yoshiki: OY! Don’t touch that! (runs round. Vainly trying to stop artifact destruction) ….. No! ----YOU! ---don’t! ~~~~That’s a French original! (starts going crazy) Musume #3: ( knocks down a painting) giggle… Yoshiki: >_< My Gaugin! >_< Musume #20: (bumps into a Chinese urn and breaks on the floor) giggle… Yoshiki: &_& NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!! *faints* ++++ *on the couch* Kohta: Anoooo….isn’t it getting a bit crowded here? (noticing the room is now packed with 40-50 Musumes and only a few Jrockers, everyone having to shove people out of the way just to move) Takeo: true that! It’s getting hot in here too. Aiji: It’s BODY HEAT, Takeo-kun! Kirito: Yeah, BODY HEAT. (giggle) Kohta: -_- (ignores Kirito & Aiji) Damn! I’m hungry! Those were the last chips and all the food in Yo-chan’s kitchen sucks. They’re all nasty French cooking and shit. (stomach growls) Takeo: There must be another source for food consumption. Kohta: yeah. There MUST be a way….must SURVIVE…… (theme song for Survivors comes on) Kirito: (rolls eyes) All you ever think about are your stomachs! There’s easier ways to obtain food! Kohta: like how? Kirito: (rolls eyes again) JUN! (snaps fingers) Jun: (getting irritated) MOU~!!!! I’m no slave to no one! Aiji: *shock* W-what did you just say?? Jun: >_< ah say ah ain’t no slave to NO ONE! Kirito: you be askin’ for some whippin’ later on, boy! Jun: I---I DEMAND an EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION!! Aiji: Eman—wha? Jun: (ignores. stands up. Stares off into space with hopeful eyes) I have a dream! I have a dream! Kohta: (holds stomach) Need….food….so…..hungry….. Takeo: (comments as Jun continues the speech with fist in air.) That’s right, Jun! You tellin’ them! Halleluiah! Halleluiah!! *hoots* Kohta: Am I the only normal person left? T_T. Jiro: Don’t feel too left out. (Jiro, Inoran, & Yukihiro walked---er---squeezed thru Musumes to the couch) Kohta: (sees Yukihiro w/ Pocky in his mouth) *_* Foooddd…..*drool* food……food…..FOOD!>!>!>! (pounces at Yukihiro) Yukihiro: What the hey~! Ack! Get away! My POCKY!!!!!!!! MY POCKYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! *GROWL* (kohta and Yukihiro have a struggle on the floor) Inoran & Jiro: #_# Jiro: Ne, Ino, I’m getting freaked out. Inoran: Doshite? Jiro: ^^;;; We’re the only people left. I feel like this house is infected with animal insanity. Inoran: I hear ya. Just observe the mentally unstable guests, horny homosexuals, and lethal-death-blackouts….not to mention a walking force of destruction (motions at Toshi, trying to get the Rosin out of his mouth) Jiro: Ne, ino, let’s go play pool. Inoran: ok. +++++ *meanwhile…* Tetsu: HAIIDDOOOO!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!! (pushes thru Musumes) Musume #18: SHINYA!!!DOKOOOO!!! (takes out a whip) Kaoru: SHINNYAA!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!! (T_T) Toshiya: (on other side of room) KAORRUUU-CHANNN!!! DON’T LEAVE ME!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!! (pouts) Toshi: MMPHPHPHPH! (muffled cry translation: YOSHIKIIIIII!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!) Teru: (from study) hi-sa….cckkkk..%^$^##@………(about to lose consciousness) Tetsu: (sigh.) I give up…it’s all my fault….(suddenly hears something) Hyde: Hellpppppp!!!! Tet-chan!!! Save me!!! Tetsu: (turns head to see the five foot tall vocalist being pulled by the heavy current of Musumes filing into the game room) Hyde: Tet-chan!! Suffocating! ----I’m drowning!!! (sinks under the current until only one hand stayed above the surface) AAHHhhhh----gggurgle gurrgglgle…….! *loses consciousness* Tetsu: I’ll save you, HAIDO!!! (let’s out a war cry. Takes off clothes. Jumps in the crowd of Musumes and swims after Hyde) Hyde: ……. (Tetsu finally reaches Hyde and pulls him to safety on the coffee table) Tetsu: Haido, don’t die! T_T (holds Hyde & shakes the tiny vocalist) Ken: Get the fuch outta the way, vugliness! (by the coffee table, trying to get into the cellar door w/ J behind him, but squished with Musumes) J: Dude! (bumps into Tetsu, who is sitting on the coffee table w/ Hyde in his arms) #_#!!!! (taps Ken on the shoulder and points) Ken: #_# Aw, man, Tet-chan! Put some clothes on! Tetsu: (not hearing) Haido! T_T. I’m sorry I yelled at you today. You were right, you were always right! There ARE over 50 Musume girls. Gomendasai!!!!! T_T (starts bawling) Hyde: (stirs, then slowly wakes up) wha-what happened? Tetsu: (notices. Beams broadly, still crying) HAIDO!! (hugs, almost crushing Hyde’s ribs) Hyde: *_* Can’t breathe….. ++++ *By the Gaugin painting* Toshi: (still can’t get out the rosin) MMPHHHHHH!!! (translation: YOSHIIKIIIIIII!!! DOKOOOOOO!!!!) (Toshi pushes a couple of Musume girls out of the way to find Yoshiki, fainted, sprawled out on the floor, clutching one of his Chinese urn collectable artifact) Toshi: MMMPPHHH! (rushes to hold Yoshiki w/ teary eyes) MPHHPHPH! MPH! MPHHH! Yoshiki: (stirs) wha~! (then jumps up) NOOO!! My collections!! O_O. Toshi: MPPHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (translation: Yoshiki, you’re alive ^__^) Yoshiki: (runs over to where an intercom system is. Grabs the mic) Listen, Jrockers! We can’t let these Musumes mindlessly wander my MANSION! We need to rise up and take CHARGE!!! All Jrockers: (fists in air) YOSHAA!!!! Takeo: HALLELLUIA!!! Ken: Yea! J & I need to get to the cellar! Tetsu: (still hugging a semi-conscious Hyde tightly) And they almost drowned my Haido! J: …drowned? Jiro: (coming out from the game room) Dammit! There’s not enough space to play pool! Inoran: (behind Jiro) Everytime we try to play, our pool sticks hit a boob or two! Toshi: MMPPHHH!!! (in agreement to Yoshiki’s speech) (~crack~) Takuro: O_O eep! Sugi, don’t tell me that ‘crack’ that I heard is what I think it is…. Sugizo: O_O Oh no. The Rosin’s wearing out. Takuro: Sugi, we’re in danger! DO SOMETHIING!! *panics & takes Sugizo on the collar* Sugizo: But I don’t have any more Rosin! And we can’t move!!!! Yoshiki: (on mic still) That’s why I choose YOU, Takuro Kubo, to lead Musumes out of the way! Takuro: ?_? What!!!! MOU~! Fine! We’ll try to direct them to …..to….. Yoshiki: THE CELLAR!! J & Ken: NOO!! J: How’re we supposed to grab booze? Yoshiki: Point exactly. Ken: Dammit, how are you, THE HOST, supposed to keep me & J entertained? Yoshiki: I told you to go watch my porn! J: But all you have is male/male porn! Ken: we forgot the fact that you were gay, Yo-chan! Yoshiki: MOU!! Takuro: (calls out) GLAY!!! Get to your formations! Jiro: ano….Takuro, Hisashi’s dead, and Teru might as well be considered dead…… Takuro: >_<. OK, FINE! Then give Ino & the other guys these. (throws those airplane light thingies to Jiro then grabs a speakerphone and starts giving directions to the mindless Musume girls) Ok, ok. Musumes. Hold hands and slowly walk to the cellar door. Jrockers, don’t get caught in the current. Jiro: (starts doing Glay hand signals) wow. Surprisingly enough, these Musume people are actually following. J: The cellar……. (one area of the lobby room is finally cleared out. Sugizo dashes for the upstairs) Sugizo: *panic* I’m sure Gackt has rosin! (opens the door to Gackt’s room) GAAACKTTTT~SAAAAAANNNN~~~~~~~~~~~~~EEK?!! (~Lights out~) -cont'd- |