Today i went to safeway. I was giong to by some bread and mayonaise to make a bread and mayonaise sandwich. The only had french bread so i went to the manager and asked for some wheat bread. He was a big iraquian and he said " no bread only kul kalash". Tjis made me made so i grabed my mayonaise and threw it at him. He kicked me in the teeth and a broke his finger. I then (since they had no bread) went to by some candy to put in the mayonaise. But on the way i blew up the cash readister. Aperently thats illegal. I dont know. I dont care either. So i went to get some candy when i realized i was in home depot. I was mad. I punched some little kids. They cried a lot. I steped on the loud ugle ones stomach. That shut him up.
Today i bought a pet monkey. It kind of looked like Fidel Castro. I named it Fidlly cat. It likes shiney objects. I bought it a set of keys. It ate them. I needed those to start my car. I cant start my car. My monkey ate my keys so i kicked it . I think i killed it. It deserved it. Once it was playing in the mud so i stuck it in the washer. I dont want it anymore so i stuck it in the trash. If it is dead it wont bite the garbage men. I doesnt matter to me. I dont like the garbage men.
I was walking down the street when i saw a freakishly small idiot boy whining about his sprinkles. I was displeased so i punched him in the face. I think i knocked him into a coma. I dont know, I dont care either
I miss Fidly cat. I want a new pet. so i got a new ferrit. It looked remarkabley like fiddly cat which looked remarkabley like fiddel Castro. In honor or fiddly cat i name my ferrit Fiddly Kitty. It dug up fiddly cats bone so i kicked it. I feed it cherreos because it likes cherrios. It ate a squarl once but threw up on my rug.
I miss fiddly ferrit. in case you didnt know i killed it. It threw up on the neighbors cat... SO I SHOT HIM. Now i have 19 boxes of cherrios. He used to eat cherrios. BUT I SHOT HIM. I you want some cherrios yoou can have some
I passed out for a while. Some pirate guy hit me with with a pan. He said his name was Capn' Crunch. I tried to touch his lucky charms but he hit me. We met in a bar. We also met a vietnamise hooker. She said her name was "Jules" but her maiden name was Louie. It proved to be very disturbing. I think i saw Regis in that bar too. He was mumbling something about " loousy stupid child services says I dangerouse Ill show them, ill steal 3 babies. nane one ketchup and one mustard and sell the other one to buy some magic bean
Today I went around asking people to shave my ass. I saw some Mel gibson movie called bird on a wire and it showed mel gibson's butt and AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH it was disturbing. It was really hairy. you shouild see that movie. you can scream too. wee
Dude, it has been a long time since i made a new enterie. so whats new you ask. I PUNCHED AN OLD LADY IN THE FACE. Well its not like she didnt desearve it. she tried to steal my licky charms, well actually i stole hers, but she wouldnt give it up, thatl teach her, they were, stupid kellogs cheets me on the marchmallow, i buy lichy charms and pick out the marshmallow and eat them as the ceareal, I feed the rest to fiddly cat, he doesnt eat much. PROBLEY CAUSE I KILLED IT. But thats ok cause i got the lil' bow-wow cd. It sux, but it makes a good dinner plate,i use my cds as plates. I like potatoes. I jist named my cat lil'bow-wow.