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C | Major religions & attitudes toward them | Relationship between church and state | Christmas & other holidays | ||
NORTH AMERICA | |||||
U | You're fairly likely to believe in God; if not, you've certainly been approached by people asking whether you know that you're going to Heaven. | You may think the church is too powerful, or the state is; but you are used to not having a state church and don't think that it would be a good idea. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Jewish, you spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. | ||
A | You're fairly likely to believe in God; if not, you've certainly been approached by people asking whether you know that you're going to Heaven. Your state was originally owned by Russia, and sold to the US in 1867. There still remain some traces of the Russian presence, such as old Orthodox churches and even small, remote towns settled by Russian Old Believers, who keep their traditions alive here. | You may think the church is too powerful, or the state is; but you are used to not having a state church and don't think that it would be a good idea. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Jewish, you spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. Having a White Christmas is routine; you feel quite cheated if for some reason there is no snow, or a lack of it, during the season. You define "a lack of snow" as less than a foot or so. You have probably vacationed in Hawai'i for Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Spring Break (which of course is still in the middle of winter for you), or know someone who has. | ||
L | You're probably Catholic (52%) or Jewish (16%) or among the 10% who belong to other religions. 22% are not formally affiliated with any church but may or may not believe in God. You're not aware that Long Island was the birthplace of the Neopagan religions in America (in 1963), and you certainly don't know anybody who's involved with that stuff. |
| You might decorate the outside of your house for every holiday, not just Christmas. A white Christmas is possible but not common. A slushy or wet Christmas is more likely. | ||
L | You are probably Catholic. If you aren't Catholic then you are most likely Baptist, Methodist, or another Protestant denomination. Buddhism, Islam, Greek Orthodox, Shinto, etc. are virtually unknown. |
| You don't learn until college that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. You've often wondered what it would be like to have a white Christmas. Wearing short sleeves on Christmas is not unheard of. | ||
T | You go to Church on Sunday (or if Jewish, to Synagogue or Temple on Saturday). | If you're from a traditional religious background (like the Southern Baptist Church), you also might secretly harbor desires to reinstate school prayer. | You have always wondered what it would be like to have a White Christmas. | ||
C | In English Canada you are probably Protestant of some sort - Anglican, Presbyterian, etc, or maybe a Mennonite. In Quebec you are usually Catholic, but maybe Jewish if you live in Montreal. Either way you are fairly likely to believe in God. There are lots of Muslims and Hindus as well. You think Americans go overboard with religion, with their "creationism" and "in God we trust" and all that. You don't want that kind of stuff in Canada even though it is creeping here anyway. | You may not realize there is no separation of church and state, officially, but there is no official church so it doesn't matter much. You don't think it would be a good idea to have one, though. | Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family, give presents and put up a tree, unless you're not a Christian (if you aren't religious but come from a Christian tradition you would celebrate Christmas anyway). | ||
B | You probably believe in God; even if you don’t, your Sundays are often interrupted by religious fanatics peddling their faith door-to-door. | You are used to not having a state church and don't think that it would be a good idea -- there are too many different religions practiced in Canada. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist, you spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. | ||
O | You are most likely either Catholic or Protestant (in which case you are probably Anglican, Presbyterian, or possibly Lutheran), but in some areas there are a lot of Mennonites. The fact that there are a lot of Catholics is because of the large numbers of Irish immigrants that came to Ontario in the 1800's. Because there were a lot of English and Irish Protestant immigrants at the same time, they brought their dislike for each other with them, and it still exists (however insignificantly), especially in rural areas. If you belong to one of these groups, religion is probably just a tradition for you, and you may not believe in any religion at all. Through American influence there are also a lot of evangelical Christians, who sometimes annoy you. There are other religions (Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, other forms of Christianity), but outside of Toronto you don't have a very large experience of them. |
| Victoria Day is usually referred to as "May 2-4" even when it doesn't happen to fall on May 24th....if you are younger, this is because you are actually talking about the case of beer that you will drink during that holiday. The Civic Holiday in August is called Simcoe Day in Ontario. | ||
Q | If you are religious, you are probably a non-practicing Catholic. | The Catholic church used to have a strong influence politically and socially, practically controlling the province, but that's not true since the Révolution Tranquille in the 60s which brought separation of church and state. | Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree, even if you're not Christian. You also probably eat a traditional meal. Action de Grâce, or Thanksgiving, is on the second Monday of October. It is not celebrated in Québec like it is in the rest of Canada. You may observe Remembrance Day, but to a lesser extent than Anglos. The red poppies sure are pretty, although you might not know why they were chosen as a symbol. The day for fireworks, bonfires and parades is June 24 (Fête Nationale du Québec, also known as La St-Jean Baptiste). You get some good ones on July 1st too for Canada Day. In some cities, there are fireworks on New Year's Eve. You can catch incredible fireworks every week all summer at La Ronde, in Montreal, for the Benson and Hedges fireworks competition. If you live in Montreal, it is likely that you watch them every week from your balcony. | ||
LATIN AMERICA | |||||
B | You believe in God. You may, or may not, care for any organized religion. If you do, you may belong to several different religious affiliations at the same time. | You cannot conceive the idea of a State Church, but you don't mind that the institutions use the name of God. | Christmas is in summer. You spend it with your family, give presents, and put up an American-style tree and also miniatures of the Sacred Family (presépio). | ||
C | You're fairly likely to believe in God. Most likely you are Catholic, at least by name, but today it's also common that you are "Christian", which means non-Catholic Christian (probably Evangelical). | You may think the Catholic church is too powerful, or the state is; but you are used to the Catholic church not being a state church, though very influential. | Christmas is in December, you spend it with your family, give presents, build a manger and put up a tree. | ||
M | You're extremely likely to believe in God; if you don't, most often you're Jewish. You trust deep down in the Virgen de Guadalupe, the patron saint of Mexico City and perhaps of all Mexico. | You think the church is not too powerful, but has enough power on the masses to have some influence on politics. | Christmas is in winter. Unless you're Jewish, you spend it with your family, give presents, eat turkey for dinner, and put up a tree. Since Christmas used to be a no-meat day (à la Lent), sometimes you eat cod, romeritos (egg tarts with a rosemary sauce and shrimp) and other kinds of fish and seafood. Only northerners and a few others believe in Santa Claus; you most often believe in the Niñito Dios y los Santos Reyes (the Child God and the Holy Magi). You have lots of vacations: Semana Santa vacations (the Easter Week plus the week before), Christmas vacations (2 1/2 weeks) and summer vacations (1 1/2 month). You spend your Semana Santa vacations at the beach, your Christmas vacations with your family, and your summer vacations anywhere. | ||
EUROPE | |||||
A | You think there could be a God, but that's probably only because your parents told you, and after all, you've been baptised at the tender age of half a year or so. You think of the Catholic Church as an integral part of society, although you're not very fond of it. Religious fundamentalists of all sorts are weird. What the hell is "creationism"? | You may think the church is a bit too powerful, or at least it's getting too much attention. You're used to having a de facto state church, which has lately become the equivalent of the British royal family: entertaining and mostly harmless. | Christmas is in the winter. You think that a real Christmas tree should have real candles if possible; definitely no blinking, coloured lights. You expect to find your presents under the tree on the evening of the 24th of December, delivered by the Christkind which looks like one of those little baroque angels. In the last 15 years or so, multinational Santa Claus has managed to conquer a sizable portion of the Austrian Christmas deliveries market, effectively tearing down the Christkind's long-standing monopoly. Unless the cute little Christkind can come up with some clever ideas, it's going to be pushed out of the market soon. Yet another nation in the firm grip of fat, old, unshaved Santa and his bad taste in clothing. | ||
F | You are most probably a Lutheran (which usually means that you go to church in Christmas or never, get married in church and have your children baptized). You may also be an Orthodox or sometimes even a Catholic (in the latter case, you are usually of foreign descent or an intellectually oriented convert looking for "something different" -- the latter also applies for many Orthodox Finns). Or an atheist, in some few cases even a Jew or a Moslem. | You are accustomed with the state church (and religion, maybe even God) being there but don't want it (them) to interfere with your life. What you really believe in is a private matter (and doesn't depend on whether you belong to a congregation or not), and people who want to talk about religion are labeled as fanatics. | Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family, give presents and put up a tree. | ||
F | You may believe in God; if you do you are, in decreasing order of probability, a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew. | You may think the church is too powerful, or the state is; but you are used to not having a state church (since 1905) and don't think that it would be a good idea. (There's no typo there. Till 1905 Catholic clergy were paid by French taxes; and this system still continues in Alsace-Lorraine. Church schools also receive some public support. Proposals to either lessen or increase this support elicit enormous protests.) You believe in the separation of state and church... and you think that a country with a motto of "In God we trust" does not follow this principle. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Jewish, Muslim, atheist or non-Christian in any way (but in fact, often even if you are...), you spend it with your family, give presents and put up a tree. | ||
B | You are catholic. If you are young or city dweller, you are, however, likely not to care very much about it. Aside from Mormons and Jeovah's Witnesses, nobody ever asked you if you believe in God (and you consider them as somewhat "weird"). You have never heard of Creationism. | The Catholic Church used to be very powerfull, but it is all gone now. The Church has been separated from the State in 1905 and at this time this provoked lot of bad feelings. Now you think it is a good thing even if you go on putting your children in christian schools. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Muslim or Jewish, you spend it with your family, and put up a tree. Presents are given at December 25th. | ||
G | Perhaps you believe in God, perhaps you don't, and perhaps you don't know. You probably don't care much about religious topics. However, if you're from the west you're fairly likely to belong to a church; perhaps because it was still the norm when you were a child, perhaps because in Protestant regions it's a tradition that you get money from relatives at your confirmation. And "creationism"? Whatthehellisthat? | You may think the church is too powerful, or the state is; you are used to not having a state church but there's a lot of cooperation between the state and the main churches. Perhaps you don't like that. | Christmas is in the winter, which means that if you're lucky, you'll have snow. It's the main holiday of the year. Unless you're Jewish, you spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. In the time preceding it (originally some weeks, now at least three months) there are special christmas sweets and bakery in the shops, special markets and stalls that aren't there for the rest of the year. The day for fireworks is New Year's Eve. If you're a child, you probably look for Easter eggs at Easter, or you might go to an Easter fire. Other official holidays are simply days when you don't have to go to work or school, although there are some regional festivities. | ||
G | You live in a secular country but you believe in God, and 'of course' you are Christian Orthodox. BUT: You don't observe fast days, you swear like a bargee and afterwards you make the sign of the cross-- fortunately your God is a good fellow and will forgive you after all. | You believe that the Orthodox Church owns a great deal of property (movable and landed) and Orthodox priests still have a plenty of influence. | Christmas is in the winter of course. You'll have a Christmas tree and exchange gifts. You also develop-- out of the blue-- warm, kind and humanistic feelings for virtually ANY human being (excluding those bastards that 'steal' your parking spot). You will have kokoretsi (i.e. fried sheep intestines) at Easter. | ||
I | You're fairly likely to believe in God, at least in some personal way. You don't go much to church, and your mother isn't too happy about it. You have never heard of Creationism. If you have, you think it's a fairy tale, and much less amusing than others at that. | If you live in the Center, the Church was the State until 1871. | Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree or a presepe, a representation of the Nativity with Giuseppe & Maria, the ox & the donkey, the Mages, and, of course, the newly born child, who is not put in place before Christmas night. | ||
N | Most likely you are not religious, or religious in a very loose way. There are people in your country who have very strict religions. You consider this either quaint or somewhat scary. Except for some Jehovah's witnesses or Mormons knocking on your door, nobody will ask you whether you believe in Heaven. You have never heard of Creationism. | Although there are traces of the major religious divisions that your country had in the past, the church has no power to speak of. There is a state church where the coronation takes place, but this has no practical consequences. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Muslim or Jewish, you spend it with your family, and put up a tree. Presents are given at December 5th, St. Nicolas day, and you include satirical rhymes where you gently point out people's bad habits. | ||
P | You're fairly likely to believe in God; you've certainly been approached by people asking whether you know that you're going to Heaven. They belong to cults formed in the '90s, when it became (legally) easy to form them. You detest them, because you don't like talking about religion to strangers. Religion has always something to do with family, not with community. | You may think the church is too powerful, or the state is; but you are used to not having a state church and don't think that it would be a good idea. | Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. | ||
S | You are not unlikely to believe in God in a loose sort of way, but godlessness is rampant. If you were dying tonight you would have made peace with God and repented on your deathbed, but not before. You are nominally protestant and probably still a (silent) member of the recently (2000 A.D.) disestablished National Church of Sweden (Lutheran), but you go there only at christenings, marriages and funerals. Or you could be a Free Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal or Jew and then you would probably care more deeply about it, or you belong to an immigrant minority, in which case you would be Moslem or Catholic and possibly devoutly religious. | You do not think about the church much, since it is not too powerful. You are not yet used to having a disestablished church but you do not think about that much either. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you are Moslem or Jewish, you spend it with your family, give presents on december 24, and put up a tree (Picea abies). Easter is in the spring. Unless you are Moslem or Jewish, this holiday involves painting and consuming eggs and taking in fresh branches of a birch tree (Betula alba) dressed in feathers. | ||
E | You probably have a vague belief in God, but you think it's bad manners to talk (or think) very much about religion, at least in public. You'd probably be turned off by a zealously Christian politician, and you laugh your socks off at the American Christian Right whenever they're on the news. | You dimly remember hearing about a time when the established Church of England had some political influence. | Christmas is in the winter. Unless you're Jewish, you spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. | ||
Y | You are fairly likely to beleive in God. | You dimly remember hearing about a time when the established Church of England had some political influence. | Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family (and your mother will make you feel intensely guilty if you don't), give presents, and put up a tree. You are also likely to eat and drink far too much. Although Yorkshire folk are generally frugal, they do like to push the boat out on special occasions. | ||
S | You probably believe in God, and if so are probably a Catholic, Protestant or Wee Free; although you probably don't go to church very often. You're very careful about religion in parts of the West Coast. |
| Christmas is in the winter. You spend it with your family, give presents, put up a tree, and wonder why it almost never actually snows. | ||
AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND | |||||
A | You probably believe in God in a not-very-committed way. If you do, you're most likely to be Catholic, Anglican or Other Christian (in that order, though the three have almost equal numbers). Religion is not something you talk or think about much. | You might think the state is too powerful. You have no concept of what a state church would be like. | Christmas is right on the summer solstice and is quite often the hottest day of the year. You spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. Your decorations still feature sleighs and snowflakes. You send people cards with pictures of White Christmases. There is nothing unusual in having Christmas dinner outdoors. | ||
N | You go to church for weddings and funerals, and possibly have a vague belief in God, but anyone talking excessively about religion is suspected of being mentally unstable. | You can't remember when any church had any political influence. | Christmas is in the summer. Unless you're Hindu or Muslim, you spend it with your family, give presents, and put up a tree. You also eat a roast turkey dinner in the blazing noon heat and lie around semi-comatose all afternoon. | ||
ASIA | |||||
I | You almost certainly believe in God; for most Indians good deeds result in either heaven or promotion-type rebirth and bad deeds result in hell or demotion-type rebirth. | You are used to not having a state church and the possibility of such a thing has never even occurred to you. | Christmas is in the winter. If you're Christian, you spend it with your family, light up your house and go to church. | ||
C | You don't believe in God. You accept everything claimed by teachers and "experts." If you find errors in their thinking, you will complain, but next time you will still believe them. You're likely to believe in Buddha. If not, you probably believe you will be reborn in the future, and the species of your reincarnation will depend on your behavior in your current life. You may think a temple is a holy place. But you don't want to live in it. |
| Spring Festival is in the winter. You spend it with your family, visit your relatives and friends, and have a delicious meal together. | ||
J | You're not likely to be religious; Japan is a very secular nation. Nominally, you probably belong to one of the mainstream Buddhist sects, but you don't actively practice it. It isn't at all unusual to have your coming-of-age ceremonies (shichigosan, at ages 3, 5, and 7) in a native Shintô shrine, get married in a Christian church, and have your funeral in a Buddhist temple. Only about 1% of the population is Christian. | You are used to not having a state church (unless you're of the prewar generation) and don't think that it would be a good idea. | Christmas is in the winter. If you have kids, you give them presents and put up a tree. If you're single, Christmas Eve is the most romantic night of the year which you'll doubtless spend with your boy/girlfriend. All this despite the fact that you're not a Christian. Who cares? It's a good excuse for having fun! | ||
AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST | |||||
N | God is central to you. You are denounced and looked down on if you don't have religion. |
| Christmas is in the Harmattan (the dry, dusty wind that blows off the Sahara each year from November through March), and it signals a dramatic increase in crime rates. | ||
S | You are probably a Christian if you're white or black. If you're Indian, then you're most likely a Hindu or a Moslem. If you're a Christian, you could be either a Catholic or a Protestant, and you go to church regularly. If you're black you wear a special uniform to church; if you're white you don't, but you dress smartly in special "church clothes" you bought just for Sundays. |
| Christmas is in the summer. You give presents and put up a tree. You get together with family and have a large potluck lunch while sitting around the pool in your swimming costume (bathing suit). You make sure to put on lots of sunblock because December is one of the hottest months, and the African sun is brutal. | ||
I | You may or may not believe in God, but even if you're not sure you do, you may still want His protection from "the evil eye" and may hang up or wear amulets for that purpose. | If you are not religious, you probably think the rabbis are too powerful and that the religious minority has too much control over people's lives in Israel. However, you do feel Israel should remain a Jewish state. Unless you are very religious, you are in favor of cuts in welfare payments to the ultra-Orthodox. | The "holidays" or "chaggim" are in the fall - September and October - and consist of Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, and Simhat Torah. Nothing much happens in terms of school or work until "after the chaggim". Chanukah is a minor holiday that happens in the winter and is celebrated by bakeries selling traditional jelly donuts or sufganiot, but no presents and no time off from school or work. Christmas is an exotic holiday that a very small number of people, largely priests and foreign residents living in the Old City of Jerusalem, celebrate. New Year's Eve, or "Sylvester" as it is called, is not universally celebrated, since the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana, is in the fall. | ||
T | You live in a secular country but you believe in God, and of course there is a 99% probability that you are Muslim-- nominally; you're much less likely to be zealous about it. You still finish your utterances by saying Insallah (If God wills it). You don't have the equivalent of televangelists in your country; you don't even think that it would be a good idea. | You believe in God, as much as you believe in separation of religion and government. You live in a secular country where religious and governmental affairs are separate. | You might fast during Ramadan yet still have no qualms about consuming alcohol the other 11 months. You'd still go to Heaven though, because God forgives. Christmas is in the winter, but in your mind it is the same thing as New Year's Eve. If you're posh, you'll have a Christmas tree and will exchange gifts-- on New Year's Eve of course. | ||
SUBCULTURES | |||||
1 | If you are from a muslim country, the new migrant to Europe is likely to be (or will very soon become) religious. However, if you are from a predominantly christian country it's very much a laissez-faire attitude. Non-muslim, but practicing migrants to muslim countries should go about their prayers very quietly with a distinct lack of ostentation in order not to attract the wrath of local fundamentalists (the same goes for people moving into the territory of Southern Baptists / creationists in the USA). | Unless you are a muslim, in which case state and religon are inextricably linked, you are used to not having a state church. | Christmas is in the winter unless you have emigrated to Australia, S. Africa or any other country in the Southern Hemisphere when it is at the height of summer. If you have kids, you will send them presents or save up to take some with you on your next visit 'home'. If not, you go out and get drunk with your friends on the 24th and sit alone with a TV dinner-on-a-tray in front of the 'Idiot's lantern' on the 25th when everyone else is celebrating with their families. Anglo's will listen to services of christmas carols on their SW radio; Latin's will listen to the Pope's homily from the Vatican; Chinese will go about their business (probably stocktaking); muslims will grill another sheep. It's all a good excuse for having fun! |
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