Kira opened the door wearing
only a revealing robe and a seductive smile. “Hutch, I thought you would never
get here.” She stood on tiptoe and
planted a soft kiss on his lips. He
could smell her perfume, faintly sweet against his cheek. God,
she’s beautiful.
“Yeah, well, Starsky and I have been running our butts off all day trying to get a bead on the rape case Dobey has assigned us,” Hutch offered as the reason for being so late. It was only an excuse. He had actually been home the past three hours, lying in the dark, trying to figure out how to get his life back on track.
Starsky's declaration to end their friendship had thrown his world into chaos. Life without his partner and friend was unimaginable. It was time to face up to the seriousness of the situation. What had started out as a harmless competition of male egos had become a speeding train that Hutch didn’t know how to stop.
Hutch realized what he really wanted was the old “have your cake and eat it too” scenario, but that didn’t seem likely. So, now, here he was. He wouldn’t leave tonight until he cleared the air with Kira and found out exactly what her intentions were.
Kira sensed Hutch’s withdrawal the moment he arrived. He was usually so responsive to her touch. One of the reasons she enjoyed being with him was his susceptibility to her charms. But then, so is Starsky’, she thought. Kira was accustomed to having her way with men. That’s why she’d never found it necessary to make a commitment, or limit herself to one lover. She was good at her job as an undercover policewoman, because she was good at playing roles.
She rather enjoyed seeing these two go at it. When Kira was assigned to work undercover with them to solve the dance hall murders, she had heard about their extraordinary relationship, their undying loyalty. What an irresistible challenge they presented!
“What’s wrong, darling?” she asked, moving closer.
Hutch swiped his hand over his face and turned toward her. "We need to talk."
“Later,” she whispered against his lips as she reached her arms around his neck again. Hutch’s response was immediate. He pulled her close and kissed her—almost brutally, but only for a few fleeting seconds; then with strained reluctance, he pulled away.
“No, Kira, now.”
With no small amount of irritation, she asked, “What’s so important that we have to discuss it now?”
“It’s Starsky. It’s been a rough couple of days for us. I had no idea he was so serious about you. But since Terry died, well, he’s been a lot more vulnerable. I just don’t want to see him hurt. I…I’m having second thoughts about us…you and me.”
Hutch stepped back, putting a few inches between them. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, where is this going? Is this just a fling for you?” Without even realizing what he was doing, he reached out and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. So soft, so lovely…
“When I’m with you I can’t seem to think straight; when we’re apart, I think of you constantly. Is it...is it like that for you?”
Kira saw the yearning in his eyes as he continued. “How do you really feel about me? How do you feel about Starsky? You said you love us both. But I’m not so sure I can understand that...and believe it.”
“Hutch, darling, why do we have to discuss this to death? Why can’t we just take things as they come? Besides, Starsky is an adult. You aren’t his keeper. And if he really cares so much for me, why haven’t I heard from him since that terrible scene here a couple of days ago?”
“He’s hurting, Kira. At first, I thought he was just mad at me, but it’s more than that—much more. Good God, he told me today we can’t be friends anymore! Do you have a clue what he must be going through to say something like that to me?”
“No, Hutch, I don’t.” Kira felt a tremor of excitement at the realization she was capable of putting a chink in the armor of these two men who were supposedly loyal to one another to a fault. “But I think you should worry about you and me and let Starsky sort things out for himself.”
“Come on now, let’s forget about Starsky for a few hours. If you promise not to talk about it anymore, I’ll give him a call myself tomorrow and try to make him understand about us.”
š ›
Starsky had gone directly home after dropping Hutch off at the station. He tried to eat a TV dinner, but found he couldn’t quite get the food to go down. Usually when he was this depressed, he would pick up the phone and call Hutch—regardless of the time. That’s the way it was with friends; that’s the way it was with partners.
Following Terry’s death, there had been many sleepless nights Hutch sat up with him talking through the grief, the remorse. Starsky didn’t like this feeling of desolation. It was frightening to be so miserable, not even be able to turn to the one person he had always been able to count on.
Maybe he should go right now and confront Kira. Tell her straight out he was in love with her and demand she tell him how she really felt. But when Starsky was honest with himself, he knew he was no longer sure he did love her. Maybe Hutch was right. Maybe he was just looking for another Terry in every woman he met.
Starsky cranked up the engine
of the Torino and began driving, not to Kira’s, but to Venice Place. Hutch,
maybe you’re right, buddy. You were
just telling me like it is. I’m not
going to let a passing attraction for this woman ruin our friendship. I know we can talk this out and I’ll figure
out a way to deal with it.
But when Starsky reached his destination, he found the apartment dark and no sign of the Hutchmobile. Now that he was willing to consider that this was only an infatuation he felt for Kira, the larger problem loomed before him --- his disappointment in how little Hutch valued their friendship.
Maybe it was time to cut his losses and leave the scene. It looked like Hutch had made the decision for him. And now it was too late to do anything else…