I'm sure that we are all familiar with the candy known as 'Softis', the candy sold by the German club every year at a mere ten cents each. The candy isn't that bad actually, if not for the fact that it's sale endorses terrorism and Anti-Semitism...

Yes, finally the good school of OTHS gives the Jews a reason to bitch... and Greenberg isn't even here to see it... pity...

Anyhow, after eating 10 'Softis' I was staring at the wrapper, as I had nothing better to do, because Spanish sucks, and I didn't feel like paying attention. About that time I noticed a small bit of writing at the bottom of the wrapper, which appears to be in Arabic, or possibly Iraqi...

Now if that wasn't enough, there's even more, much more, as a matter of fact, the candy is laden with conspiracy and hidden messages. For example, using my keen vision and folding abilities, I was able to uncover numerous hidden messages within the wrapper. For example, while messing with the wrapper, I uncovered this:


As you can see, unless of course if you are blind, or Clinton King and therefore stupid enough as to be blind, Adolph Hitler's name is cleverly encoded into the wrapper, indicating Nazi, or Neo-Nazi involvement in the creation of the candy. There several other references to Nazi's and instances of Anti-Semitism within the wrapper, for example:


That orange is obviously Jewish, and is easily identified by his Star of David and Yarmulke. Note the phrase 'Kill Jews' was cleverly slipped in among a list of ingredients so numerous that the list is actually bigger than the Softi itself. The lemon and the strawberry appear to be Nazis. The lemon is carrying a butcher knife, chasing after the Jewish orange. The strawberry runs behind with dynamite. Both appear to be wearing Nazi uniforms. The makers of 'Softis' further degrade the Jewish population by making the Jew orange, because everyone knows that orange sucks, its a stupid color. 

While searching through the wrapper, I also uncovered several other hidden names, such as Ed and Al:


Who's to say what these really mean? Perhaps they are code for people in support of the Nazi's and Hitler, such as these people:


Now I don't mean to implicate these people, but it IS just a little bit suspicious that their names would appear on a 'Softi' wrapper, don't you think? 

Another point that I'd like to bring up, is that no matter what color the wrapper comes in, the 'Softi' inside is always white. Why is it that there are no black ones, or Latin ones? Could it be that all the non-white ones were killed, so that there would only be one kind? Perhaps we should disregard that possibility, I mean, Germany doesn't really have any prior history of such acts right? But DO remember that it is the German club selling these candy abominations, and Hitler was from Germany, which is almost as bad as France, which is almost as bad as Canada. And Canadians really really suck. Especially when compared with Andrew Jackson, because he was the greatest person to ever live. If Andrew Jackson was still around, he would go to Canada and start kicking everyone's asses, burning their houses down, and slashing their tires. Then he would go to Endor and slaughter Ewoks (Note: According to my spell check, Ewoks and Endor ARE words). Then he would go kill Jar Jar Binks by wielding George W. Bush as a weapon, while simultaneously stabbing George Lucas with a spork.


Andrew Jackson Kicks Ass.