Excerpts from Briju
: a Love Story
By Zaen
From muchmusic.com:
“BRITNEY & JUSTIN
BARE ALL
In what appears to be a public declaration of love for each
other and further evidence of their ongoing affair, singer, actress and
"writer" Britney Spears will be teaming up with loverboy,
Justin Timberlake, to co-publish a book of poetry, love letters and diary
entries---all pertaining to their relationship with each other.”
Below are exclusive excerpts from BriJu : a love story by Spears/Timberlake
Haikus:
your curls
are so hot
blonde and
bouncy all day long
like me and
my girls
you are so
sweet and pure
now stick
your tongue down my throat
got
something for yours
Diary entries:
10/22/92
Dear Diary,
I am in luuuuvv! I met the cutest boy today, diary. He is so hot!
He is so sweet too. And I just lurrf him to death!
I just know one day I'm gonna marry him.
Only problem is, he's friends with this real buttwad! He's always following my man around on the
set of the show. I can never be alone
with him for a second! Ugh! Maybe I can sic Christina on him. tee hee hee. Anyway, diary, wish me luck. I will make J-- mine.
--yours
always,
Britbaby
p.s. HATE
J.-- And his stupid hair!
10/21/92
Yo, Diary
This show isn't that bad...but I'll
kill you if you tell anyone. SIKE. It
would be better if not for this stupid girl always chasing me around. She follows me around like a puppydog! She's
always trying to get on my jock--tee hee! But I made friends with a pretty cool
dude. JD? KC? Whatever. He's nice, and has really pretty eyes...I
mean, his jumpshot's aight! Darn it.
--peace
JRT
Love letter excerpts:
from
September 3, 2000 (edited)
My dearest
Justin:
I miss you so ---- much! When I think about all the time we've been
apart, I just want to lock myself in my room and ---- myself! Ugh, I miss you're face, you’re hands, even
your ---- hair! I wish I culd run my fingers threw it rite now! Just thinking about your ---- makes me so
upset. I think I'll take a cold shower
or ---- or something. Maybe then I'll
just roll around in a huge ---- pile of money.
Remember that? Memorial Day? Oh,
damn, my ---- are getting ----. Oh,
Just. Maybe we should just ---- after
all?
luv,
your big
hot ----
response, September 12, 2000 (edited)
Yo, Brit!
Damn, baby! You got me all ----! Especially after that ---- thang you was wearing at the VMAs
last week. Ugh, thank God for lotion! I
thought I wuz gonna bust a ----, but JC calmed me
down. He's a good listener. Ya know, I dreamt
that you 2 were doin' it behind my back, and that you
lived next door to each other on top of a hill.
Ain't that ---- whack? Anyhoo, gotta go
get my ---- on, baby. Luv ya, girl.
your big
fuzzy ----
JRT
Edited
letter, May 4, 2001
J: Yo, I think we should co-author a book of “love poems” or
some ----. I needs
more bling bling, and my
---- habit is more expensive than I thoughtt.
We can ---- some stuff, it’ll only take a second. What cha think?
Sincerely,
Brit
Response
May 4, 2001
B: ----,
you always gotta be stealin’ my thunder, ----! You know “Crossover Drivel” is gonna be the
---- bomb! Whatever ----, do what you
want. We splittin’
the $$, right?
Yours
truly,
J
Lyrics to unpublished song:
I like him
He likes me
Together we
are pretty
Hit me one
more time, baby
We have
fun, him and me
We sing
songs, go shopping
We kiss and
we kiss and that’s it
Because I’m
not that innocent
I like him
He likes me
Together we
are very wealthy
Big shout
out to Pepsi
co-authored, email poem:
I feel so lucky
to have a
boy
and he is
so pretty
doesn't
want to touch me
girl i'm the lucky one
you're hot
and lots of fun
but to say i don't want it, miss
I gotta say "What choo talkin' bout, Willis?"
the fans
adore me
and the
musical art I make
but to get
some monkey lovin'
dude, tell
me, what does it take?
um, I ain't following you, girl
I been down from the first
let's go
right now, cause i
got sommin sommin to quench your
thirst
i feel so lucky
and every
day i grow stronger
please tell
me one more time
how to make
your love wand longer
can't take
this much more
every day i meet a new wh--bore
some skank who'll give up the bump
gimme lots more than dry hump
baby, must i remind you
if it's
facts that you seek
we better
do this quick before
you pass
your sexual peak
c'mon baby
what you waitin for
old age and
using a walker?
sick and
tired of all this teasin'
and yo' mom playin' jock blocker
well then
lets get down to it
19 years is long enuff
to wait
I'm all for it, let's start the
fling
when shall
I expect the engagement ring?
I am so very lucky
to have a
girl that's pretty
have
nothing but respect for my miss
totally
satisfied with a kiss
more haikus:
flowers
grow, birds sing
world is
great and everything
I need to
get laid
I smile a
real lot
And pretend
many things too
I need to
get laid
Said it
would be good
Make you
both rich and famous
if ya'll
kissed a lot
Said it
would be great
Your fans
would adore you both
I need to
get laid
Copyright ã May
2001 by KTA
PART TWO
(For your
exclusive reading pleasure, here are even more
excerpts from the upcoming, certain to be blockbusting publication, BriJu : a love story by Spears/Timberlake)
Haikus
Rub my head
for luck
Slide your
hand over the fuzz
Repeat with
your tongue
They’re
real, baby, real
You know
all about their feel
Yeah, just
like my nose
Acronymicals
Now our love is known
Sent out to the whole world
You are my baby
Now everyone knows…you
Can’t escape (B.S)
Never have I loved anyone more
Safe is how
You make me feel
Next to you and your huge
D Cups
(J.R.T.)
Online chat
transcript August 7, 2000
ChocLovr:
Damn, it's hot in here
LikMiNow:
Where r u?
ChocLovr:
At Jcz. He
won't turn on the damn AC
LikMiNow:
what r you guys doin?
ChocLovr:
Just hangin'. he's spazzing about being 24
tomorrow
LikMiNow:
He's not old. tell
him i said hi
ChocLovr:
Here heeldldllisdlfkk
ChocLovr: Hi, Bri. your boyFRIEND is keeping me company
LikMiNow:
ummmm, hi! howz yer
bod. I
mean...what's up?
ChocLovr:
8df89o48rse8u dslksstop itosijusdtjdin
heyskdjfld
LikMiNow:
hello?
ChocLovr:
d89((-dinot8**"d fj0herel shel){ (Ufindd***outBJKDJFDF
LikMiNow:
Guys? What's going on?
ChocLovr:
Sorry 'bout that, Bri. JC can't type for shit
LikMiNow:
I bet he can do other things well
ChocLovr:
Huh? What?
LikMiNow:
You know...write songs?
ChocLovr:
Yeah, I guess. I gotta go. He's b bbvvvvvvvvvvKlDiFcDkDitIbaaabFLDee:
LikMiNow:
Justy? What's
going on?
ChocLovr:
KL:9ffkdfdkjsssssssssssdddddddddddddfuxxxxxckxxxxxxxxxyeiiiiiiah
LikMiNow:
You know you can't sign off without saying U wuv me
first, right?
ChocLovr: j0j =dsfisdpa[
sdf;if'kf'f'f'suckdkfd9(**887777it--dofjslds;d
LikMiNow:
is that keyboard jamming again? Why
don't you buy a new laptop? Every time I
talk to you, this happens!
LikMiNow:
Hello? Still there? Do you still wuv
your babygirl?
***Chocklovr has gone offline***
LikMiNow:
Damn.
More acronymicals
Sometimes I
Cry at
night
Rehashing
the days’
Events, but
I know you
Want and
respect
Me, and
that’s
Enough. Really, it is. (B.S.)
Thanks for
being you
Every
night, and for
All you do
for me
Sure,
Everything’s
fine. (J.R.T.)
More haikus
I’m glad we
will wait
Until we
can set a date
Then it
will be pure
Sure it
will be pure
But you
must be a fool if
You think I
am, too
Letters
January
29, 2001
Dearest
Brit,
Baby, it’s not what you think! We were just wrestling, that’s all! Just wrestling. And I told you that his luggage was lost, so
he borrowed some of my boxers! Why do
you always jump to conclusions? And why
the hell did you stop by the hotel, unannounced, when I specifically asked you
not to anymore? Anyway, I don’t blame
you. I blame that stuff you’re on! You need help, girl! You’re totally paranoid, seeing things that
aren’t there, making stuff up. A month
long stay in rehab might do us—I mean, YOU some good. Anyway, I gots to
go, girl. I gotta pick Jayce up at the free clinic.
Your loving, faithful Justin
February
5, 2001
Dear
Justin,
I’m so sorry. I know
it’s my fault. Things have just been out
of control. I have to admit, I was a
little messed up when I went to your hotel room. I’d had a glass of wine on the plane (you
know what a nervous flier I am) and totally forgot about the cold medicine I’d
already taken. That mixed with my
prescription meds…well, you saw me. I do
apologize. Of COURSE you and Josh were
wrestling, you do it all the time. I
guess I was totally hallucinating you being naked on that bed when I walked in. God, maybe I do need rehab…for prescription
medication. And, I’m just tired. And lonely.
I miss you, baby! You never come
see me anymore. You hardly call,
either. If I didn’t know better I’d
swear you were trying to break up with me!
Sorry, just being paranoid. I
trust in your love, and I know we’ll be together forever.
Right?
Your wacky lover, Britney
More acronymicals
It’s so
hard being
Lonely
without you
Only having
your
Voice helps
me through
Each night,
my sweet
Justy. Sure, it’s you I’m
Crazy
for. Only you. (B.S.)
I’m going
mad with
Loneliness
Over you,
my
Valentine
Ever yours,
Justy. Faithful to the
Core.
This I
promise
Only
you. Isn’t’ it
Obvious? (J.R.T.)
It’s not
always bad
Fantasies
are quite
Useful. They
Can
Keep me
well
Enough.
Don’t
worry, I’ll be
Just fine
until you
Come
again (B.S.)
Some times
are harder than
Others
Dreams
aren’t enough
I’m lucky
to have great friends who’d
Do just
about anything for me
Isn’t’ it
obvious? (J.R.T.)
Copyright ã May
22, 2001 by KTA