You Bring Me Joy
(Like a Best Friend Should)
by Zaen
47. Friday :
the last day of the story
This isn’t the first morning Justin
has woken up next to Josh. It’s not even
the first time he’s woken up in Josh’s arms.
But it’s the first time he’s woken up and stared openly at Josh,
caressed his naked body, kissed his lips, and told his best friend how much he
loves him. The dawning light resembles
the dusk from 12 hours earlier, when they first fell into this bed. Justin pulls the sheet back and smiles at
Josh’s naked ass. He pats it, remembers
the redness and his fingerprints from last night. He’d blush at the thought if he weren’t still
half asleep.
“What time is it?” Josh yawns. He shivers a little and winces when Justin
tells him it’s nearly 6:30 AM. “Chilly.”
“Yeah,” Justin grunts,
his hand still on Josh’s bottom. He
waits for Josh to ask for the covers back, and is delighted when it doesn’t
happen.
“Mmm. Tired. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“I wonder why.”
“Why, indeed,” Josh sighs. A quick glance, and
they break into giggles. Only for a few
moments, and then they return to staring at each other.
“Damn, you’re beautiful in the
morning,” Justin states happily, easily.
He’s had the same thought many mornings before, just never said it
aloud.
“Ohh, my hair’s pro’ly all over
the place,” Josh chuckles, and swipes at the wild curls spilling all over his
pillow. “And I need a shave.”
“Yeah, like I said. Beautiful.”
Josh blushes and “mmmms” drowsily. “I
could get used to this. Baby.”
“Well, you’ve had 7 months to…um…get
used to…it,” Justin stammers, and clears his throat, embarrassed. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know.” Josh pulls Justin to him and kisses him
softly. “Thank you.”
“For what, baby?”
“For the past 7 months. For being my best friend. For loving me. For giving me joy. For everything.”
“Oh.” Justin hugs Josh, touches his hair and his
back, makes sure he’s real. “Thank you for everything, Josh.”
“Sweetie.” They kiss for a few minutes, gently,
silently, and with no below-the-waist action.
It’s like it was last night, just as they were falling asleep in each
other’s arms. But this is even
better. It’s the start of their first
day.
“Mmm,
Justin, you better get going,” Josh whispers when the
kissing becomes more enthusiastic. “You
don’t wanna be late.”
“Aww. Don’t
wanna get up. Wanna stay in bed with
you.”
“I know, but…mmm.”
“Kiss me.”
“It’s getting late…oh.”
“I love you.”
“We better stop. Uhhhh. Justin, I love you
so much.”
“Baby. You’re so delicious.”
“J, don’t even. Mmmm. Yes. I mean, no!
J, c’mon.”
“Still sore?”
“A little.”
“I’m sorry, Josh.”
“Don’t be sorry, J. Mmmm. One more kiss. Yesssss. Now, get up.”
“Damn.” Justin huffs and reluctantly sits on the edge
of the bed and scans the room for his clothes.
“It’s too early,” he grumbles, even though he knows he needs the extra
time to go home, shower, and get to work on time. He dresses half heartedly, but takes pleasure
in the eyes he can feel staring at him.
“Ugh!” Justin yawns, stretches,
and fumbles with his shirt. “I’m gonna
hate having to get up earlier than I already do.”
“You’re not a morning person, I
know,” Josh sighs. Justin hides a
smile. He knows.
“Yeah, so.” It’s silent while Justin ties his shoes. “So.”
“So, um—”
“So, it’s Labor Day weekend.” Justin stands up and stretches. He looks out the window and at the
ceiling. If he looks at Josh, naked on his
bed, beautiful and exhausted and satisfied and fucked and in love with him, he
knows he’ll never get to work on time. “Three day weekend.”
“Sooooo…what
are we doing?”
Ear to ear grins.
“Um, I was thinking we’d just spend
it together. In bed. We can take breaks for bodily functions,
food, and Buffy reruns on FX.”
“You read my mind.” Josh sighs happily and sits up against the
headboard. “Gosh, it is kinda early,
huh?”
“Yeah.” Justin glances at his watch
nonchalantly. “I usually don’t get up
until 7 or 7:15.”
“I know, Justin.”
“I’m gonna be real crabby today.”
“I kinda figured.”
“Right. Well, then.”
Justin picks up his keys and shoves them in his pocket. Josh is blinking at him expectantly. For once, Justin isn’t afraid to be the first
to give in. “Well, you might as well
bring some stuff with you to work. So,
you know, you can leave it at my place.”
Justin gulps. He doesn’t have to
look to know Josh is smirking at him.
“Not that I haven’t collected a small pile of your ‘forgotten’ items
already.” Justin breathes into his
hand. Brushing can wait until he gets
home. Josh doesn’t seem to mind kissing
him with morning breath. Josh doesn’t
seem to mind anything Justin does. “I
must have enough of your shirts and books and CDs to fill a…a…drawer. Or something.”
“I, um, didn’t realize I’d made such
an imposition,” Josh declares. He rubs
his stomach as he yawns. Justin has to
look away from him again. “That’s a lot
of stuff.”
“Yeah.” Justin looks at his watch again, cringes, and
says quickly, “So, it’d just be easier if, um, you brought a few days worth of
clothes over to my house. And that
shampoo you can’t live without. And that
coffee you always drink. Just, you know,
so it’ll be there. When
you…stay over.”
“It’d just be easier that way.”
“Exactly. And, you know, I’ll make space for it
somewhere. You know…somewhere.”
“Sure. And, you could, um, you know, bring some more
of your stuff over here. Just some extra clothes and shit. So you can stay over.” Josh smiles and rubs the faint stubble on his
chin. “So you can stay with me.”
“It’s the practical thing to do,”
Justin mumbles.
“Exactly.”
“Right. So, I guess I’ll go now.” Justin stretches exaggeratedly, waiting for
Josh to stop him. When Josh merely
blinks at him and yawns, Justin rolls his eyes and takes a step toward the
bedroom door. “So, I guess I’ll see you
at work?”
“Wait, J.” Josh gets out of bed and walks slowly to his
lover. He rubs the sleep from his eyes,
shakes his wild curls out of his face, and licks his lips in one fluid
motion. Justin thanks God his penis is
still asleep. “Um.”
“Yes?” Justin whispers.
Josh grins sleepily as he leans in
to kiss his boyfriend’s lips. “Have a
good day at work today, honey. Play nice
with your coworkers. Dinner
at 6:30 sharp.”
“You make it sound like we’re mar—”
Justin gulps.
Josh smiles bashfully and takes
Justin’s left hand. “I did?” he
whispers.
Justin beams and hugs his best
friend tight. “Yeah.”
Justin races home, so he has time to
shower and dress, and so he has time to clear out two dresser drawers and a
whopping third of his closet.
**********
Justin sits down at his desk and
rubs his eyes as his computer boots up.
He yawns, and then grins guiltily as he takes in his surroundings. He’d never bothered to decorate his
workspace, but there’ve been plenty of additions to the dull, carpeted cubicle
walls in the last few months. A photo of him and Chris screaming on motorcycles. Another of Joey showing off
Kelly’s pseudo-semi-almost-sorta-pre-engagement ring. A third of Lance being
kissed by 10 drunken sorority sisters at his birthday party. There are also a few drawings borne of bored
workdays and lazy Saturday afternoons.
In one corner a pushpin holds up a Playbill from Titanic
: The Musical that Josh dragged Justin to see. Justin still hasn’t told Josh that he bought
the cast recording the next week. A
ticket stub from an Orlando Seals hockey game adorns another corner. The most recent addition is a newspaper ad
seeking a lead singer for a new 70’s inspired soul band. Everything on Justin’s wall, from the
pictures to the mementos to the grocery lists, came from the smiling man
walking into the office with an armload of Dunkin Donuts.
“Whoa, Josh! You are the man!” Chris roars.
He’s out of his seat immediately to relieve Josh of the 2 coffee
carriers. “Five
coffees. What are the rest of you
guys having?”
“What’s the occasion?” asks Lance,
already picking the coffee marked ‘decaf’ from Chris’ clutch.
“No occasion. Just wanted to do something nice,” Josh says
with a quick glance Justin’s way. “I
guess I’m in a really good mood today.”
Justin grins and looks at his computer screen.
“Cool, man.” Joey pats Josh on the back. “You’re a very generous, thoughtful friend.”
“Josh shrugs bashfully. “Wow, tha—”
“Gimme!” The
box of donuts is out of Josh’s hands before the “nks”
even leaves his mouth. Josh tsk-tsks as his coworkers practically rip the box in half
to get it open.
“Real couth, guys.”
“Oh, jelly!”
“That chocolate one is mine. Don’t even think about it!”
“Can you dunk a coffee roll in
coffee? Isn’t that redundant?”
Justin laughs to himself as he
listens to his friends fight over the donuts, but he doesn’t look up. He wants to wait. He knows better than to challenge Chris or
Lance when donuts are involved. And…he
wants to wait to see how long he can hold out.
It’s their first day at work, after all.
So he works, sips from his water bottle, and stares at his monitor while
his friends fuss over Josh, and more importantly, Josh’s treats. Just as he thinks he can’t take it any
longer, he hears a throat clearing and sees a small bag being set down on his
desk.
“Good morning, Justin.”
“Morning.” Justin looks.
Sweet, gray-blue eyes, just a little tired. The hair is still wet and slicked back, like
Josh was too hurried to dry it. The chin
stubble is still there, like Josh knew that Justin would find it sexy. The mouth is set in a crooked grin. The body is relaxed. Josh looks neat and business casual as usual,
but something about his appearance reminds Justin of last night—that freshly
fucked, satisfied look Justin has been waiting all year to see. He recognizes that look as happiness. He saw it this morning in the mirror.
“I got you something.” Justin smiles warily and looks inside the
bag.
“Bran muffins, C?”
“Yeah. Well, one’s for me,” Josh says shyly. He takes a muffin out the bag and regards it
proudly. “A high fiber diet is important
for lower cholesterol, digestive regularity, and overall good health.”
“Interesting,”
Justin quips.
“I want you to be around a long,
long time,” Josh says straightforwardly.
Justin clears his throat so he won’t
sigh like a teenybopper. “Oh. So, um, may I have a donut, too?”
“Fer sure
you can!”
“Excellent.” Justin sniffs his muffin and then takes the
coffee Josh offers him. He doesn’t have
to ask if it’s Hazelnut with 2 sugars, his favorite. Josh knows.
“Thanks, C.”
“You’re welcome, J.”
“Um, don’t you want everybody to
live a long time?”
“Yeah, but these muffins aren’t
cheap!” chuckles Josh.
“You’re too much, Joshua.”
“In a good way?”
Justin lowers his voice, but not too
much. “A very good
way.”
“What’s this I hear about you going
for the
“I don’t think three hundred and
seventh is the top—”
“I was in the top half, dumbass!”
“My mistake,” Justin laughs as Josh
waltzes into the cafeteria humming like he has been all day. Justin is suddenly very aware of
himself. He kind of likes the feeling.
“Hey, guys,” Josh says, but his eyes
stay on Chris.
“Whatever.” Chris angrily pushes the number for a bag of
corn chips. “If I weren’t committed to Zeeks Technologies, and to the friends I’ve made in
“And to Gwen,” Justin adds.
“And to making
“And to Gwen—”
“And to my desk and my rising
popularity with the fresh-faced interns—”
“Gwen.”
“Then I’d take that job and move to
“I appreciate your honesty,” Justin
says with a dismissive wave of a hand.
“Seriously, man. You owe me a beer.” Chris points his finger at Justin accusingly,
and then walks away crunching like a madman.
“What was that about?” Josh stands next to Justin and jiggles the
change in his pocket.
“Chris was just wishing me luck on
the
“Oh.” Josh peruses the junk food selection for a
few seconds. “What if you don’t get
it? What if neither of
us gets it?”
“We could move out there anyway,”
Justin answers, and he’s proud that his voice stays at normal volume. His eyes focus on a Milky Way. “Or we could stay in
“We could go anywhere, really.”
“True.” Justin lays a finger on the correct
button. “You know,
“
Justin clears the lump in his
throat. “Yeah.” He’s so moved that he hasn’t even noticed
that his candy bar is stuck. “What…oh, not again!”
“What would you do without me?” Josh
sighs as he counts out 75 cents. He
looks at the candy bar he’ll get—the one that will free Justin’s precious Milky
Way—and groans. “Well, maybe I’ll learn
to like Almond Joys.” Justin is suddenly
overwhelmed with gratitude.
“Thanks, Josh.” A quick look around the empty cafeteria, and Justin leans over to give Josh a quick kiss
on the neck. It’s over in a flash, but
the heat on Justin’s lips is certain to last a long while.
Josh doesn’t say anything, but his
cheeks flush as he reaches for both candy bars.
He hands Justin his Milky Way and pockets the Almond Joy. For a moment they don’t move, but their eyes
meet in the mirrored surface of the vending machine. Someone from accounting walks in, buys a
soda, and walks out without them even noticing.
“We should get back,” Justin finally
utters. He takes a step, but Josh grabs
his hand. Justin’s heart pounds when
Josh leans in, but there is no kiss.
Only a hand squeeze and Josh whispering, “Justin…I can still feel you
inside me.”
“I feel you, too.”
They walk all the way to the
cafeteria door holding hands.
It’s about 2 hours and counting
until the weekend. It can’t be too soon
for Justin; he’s been staring at Josh practically all day. He worries momentarily that his lack of
attention will hurt him in his bid for the
“Justin!”
“Huh? What?”
“Hello! We’ve been talking at you for a full
minute! Are you in there?” Lance laughs,
waving a hand in front of Justin’s face.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about something.” Justin clears his throat and tears his eyes
away from his silvery blue desktop scheme.
“What’s up?”
“What are you doing this weekend?”
Joey asks.
“Why?”
“We were thinking of going to a
movie tomorrow. Maybe cruise Sea World
for some barely legal co-eds,” Lance proclaims mischievously. “What do you think?”
“Oh.” Justin glances over at Josh, who is trying
unsuccessfully to refold a stack of printouts.
“I think I have plans.”
“Really?” Joey’s eyes narrow. “Doing what?”
“Umm.” Two weeks ago Justin would have panicked. Now he simply says, “Josh and I just have some
stuff to do. No big deal.”
“I see,” Joey says with a smirk, but
Lance merely shrugs.
“I guess Josh won’t want to go with
us to that new karaoke bar down on
Justin thinks for a second. Hm, after
48 hours of nonstop fucking, we might need a break. “Ok, count us in.”
“Coolness.” Lance smiles and scoots over to bother Chris,
but Joey stays in place.
“What?”
“Nothing, man. Just talking to you.” Joey sits on Justin’s desk and follows his
eyes to where Josh is humming and cracking his neck. “You and JC have plans, huh?”
“Yeah, I mean, um, yeah.”
“You just decided for Sunday, for
the both of you. You didn’t even ask
Josh.”
“Well, um, karaoke and free drinks
and all night Wal-Mart. I know he’ll
want to go,” Justin answers wryly.
“I’m sure.” Joey smiles, then
lowers his voice. “Justin, we’re
friends, right?”
“Of course, Joe.”
“Do you trust me?”
“S—sure.”
“I don’t want to meddle or anything,
but…I’ve just noticed how close you and Josh have become.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Breathe,
Justin tells himself.
“I’ve just, um.” Joey lowers his voice even more. “I’m just gonna ask. Is there something, um, going on between you
two?”
Oh God, Justin thinks. Am I ready for this?
“I.”
Justin’s eyes move as if in slow motion across to Josh’s desk. Josh is squinting at his monitor, his teeth
nibbling his thumb, smiling like he knows every secret in the world. Justin takes a deep breath, shrugs and softly
states, “Um. Well. He’s my…he’s my best friend. And then…well. Yes.” Breathe,
man. You can do this. “I…love…him.
He loves me.” Justin musters the
courage to finally look Joey in the eye.
“We love each other, Joe.”
“I
see.” Justin’s knee bounces erratically
while he waits for Joey to say something else, to call him names, to ask a lot
of questions. He’s completely unprepared
for Joey smiling and saying, “I thought so.”
“You…you
did?”
“Yeah,
man. I mean, jeez, you did buy him a
piano!” Joey stands up and rubs Justin’s
shoulder. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thanks,
I guess.” Justin doesn’t know whether to
be nervous or relieved or scared or happy.
“I just…wow. I don’t know what to
say.”
“What’s
to say? You fell in love. I’m glad.
You make each other happy, so I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah?” Justin squeaks.
“Absolutely.” Joey
starts to walk away, but then he turns back.
“I had a feeling about you two.”
Justin smiles as he watches Joey walk away. Then he looks at his best friend. They share a knowing, hopeful grin.
“I
had a feeling, too,” Justin says aloud, to no one in particular.
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chasez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 3:14 PM
1.
Joey knows. He’s happy about it. Should I tell the others? Like, maybe, everybody…in the world?
2.
Karaoke Sunday night. I figured it’s my
right to accept invitations.
3.
I’ve waited my whole life to feel like this.
From: Chasez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 3:15 PM
1.
I love Joey. I’m very happy he’s happy.
2.
I love karaoke. You have every right to
accept on my behalf. I’d follow you
anywhere.
3.
I love that sentence. I told myself the
same thing the first day I walked into this place.
4.
I love…well, you know.
Justin
deletes the email and revels in the warmth spreading through his body. He licks his lips and mouths I love you with his eyes
still on his monitor. He hears a
satisfied sigh from across the room. He
doesn’t have to look up to know that Josh is watching him. He doesn’t have to wonder if Josh is thinking
about him...if Josh is with him.
He
just knows.
The
End
Copyright
© KTA December 2, 2002 – June 2, 2004
Final update: July 10, 2004
Songs:
“I’ve never been to me” / Ken Kirsch and Ronald Miller
“Saving all my love for you” / Gerry Goffin
and Michael Masser
“Let’s get it on” / Marvin Gaye and Ed Townsend
“You bring me joy” / David Lasley
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Copyright © KTA December 2, 2002 – June 2, 2004