Working

Is this what my life is to be.
This nine to five existence…
And I complained when I was free
Free to sleep, to read, to do nothing
Free to be.

This automatic, continuos repeat
Typing, adding, checking…
A never ending cycle
A life so dreary
All in front of me.

This is not me
This is not who I imagined I'd be
This is not where I'd see myself
When I was little girl playing,
Pretending….

My life of dreams
Of soldiers and fairies
Of princesses and castles
Of adventure and excitement
A life…of something

Meaning - meaning in my life
The meaning of life
The meaning of existence
I'm looking for mine
Searching

I need to leave
To find something more
More…
More than this
More than what I have.

Or I can stay
In comfort of my own obscurity
Never having to fear anything
But this continuous repetitious life
Never having to leave the safety of what I have.

For the world out there
The big scary world
Full of excitement and adventure
And fear
No routine, no security, nothing but fear.

There are no princesses,
No castles
No knights in shining armour
There is nothing out there
But fear

Is it worth it?