EVER WONDER ........
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "-""Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is ""abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes?
Why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought???? ..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could
just get those
5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Ny tol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only.
(as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
O n an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or ...
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to
(maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all
need to smile every once in a while.