I was around muslims since I was a teenager, yet I wasnt informed about Islam because all I seen was "muslims" I had ignorance in my heart as I generalized about all the muslims I wasnt at that point in time willing to see the truth I guess one could say I was "deaf dumb and blind"I refused to see the truth and For many years as I played follow the leader with my friends I teased the muslim wiomen calling them opressed and basically not in controll of their own mind when in fact it was nme that wasnt thinking with my own mind I was following my friends . Though I said all these things I felt compelled towards these modest women of which I secretly admired in my heart I would never admit these things out of fear that my friends would reject me. I was not a very good christian for most of my youthbut then as I was getting older I realized that I needed spirituality so I started attending church and became "born again" I was quite passoniate about my church ,my new family at the church and my new personal relationship with God as I loved God with a passion I couldnt explain .I went every wensday and sunday to church and we had many activities between those times I was on a roll yet I hadnt studied much into christianity I just went on what the preacher said.I started dating a muslim and I started to try to convince him of christianity and was pleading with him to accept Jesus (Little that I knew he already accepted Jesus As I soon fount out .)I started to have religious conversations with my boyfriends brother about the faiths which braught about doubts about my faith in christianity. I tryed to supress these doubts by convincing myself that it was the devil leading me to such doubts, but the thaught was there so I had to see for myself .So as any confused individual would do I went in search of truth (actually hoping to prove Islam wrong)it would have been alot easier than admitting I was wrong.First of all I spoke with my pastor and he told me that muslims deny Jesus as a messenger and as the son of God .He warned me that muslims would claim to love jesus so we (christians) would open our heart and accept muslims So they could in effect get the souls of the christians (almost like a competition between muslims and christians) I later found out that the competition was purely from the christians side. my pastor then told me that he himself had doubts before but he overcame those doubts thru love of Jesus Christ .which led me to the quettion that I think made him upset with me I said If he had doubts why did he not go seek the truth instead of having just blind faith,I also made the comment that if he was so sure in faith He would not be afraid of seeking further into it for if he seeked truth he would have been set free"the truth will set you free" If he was so confident then why not as a reconfirmation of faith confirm the truth yet he denied that simply saying thru the love of Jesus we will be saved and doubting the love of Jesus was a grave sin.Well My next step towards truth was going to the Mosque .I remember entering the mosque for the first time I wasnt wearing Hijjab(veil) and the lady came over to me and handed me a hijjab So I put it on out of respect . The first thing I noticed was a wall hanging that said "In the name of Allah most gracious most mercifull" I was taken back by that phrase as I stood there in a transe I thaught aboiut those words that had so much meaning to them My first thaught was "most gracious what would God be gracious to mere sinners like us since we were boorn sinners why wiould we have such an honor" I then I concentrated with the words Most mercifull wow a God that is automatically mercifull forgives our sins because he is mercifull "I was astonished at these words I mean this whole time I was searching for a personal relationship with Allah All mighty thru Christianity when in fact the relationship I could only dream of forming was thru Islam. See in christianity I realized that your relationship with God is thru Jesus and well I am sorry but I believe that if we need an interseccor then the relationship is no longer "personal" ie becoming as personal as the relationship you have with your insurance company thru the mail carrier . As I was standing there a lady approached me and asked if I needed help I repliied Can I purchase a Quran she replied no need to If you do me a favor I will give you a Quran I said of course So she then took Me in the bathroom (I was a bit hesistant) but I went anyway She went to the sink and washed her hands, face, arms head and feet each three times and she showed me how to do this and she explained it was purification For reading the Quran and praying. I thanked her As she handed me a Quran and a couple books One book teaching Salat and the other about Fatimah Al Zahara "Fatimah the gracious"we bid farewell as I went on my way .I read the Quran for all of that week As I was very intrigued with the stories in it and well to be honost before I was even through with Surah Albaqarah (the second book in the Quran) I was convinced of the truth in it .The following Friday I went back to the same mosque and said My Shahaddah.....LA ILLAHA ILLALLA MOHAMMEDUN RASOOLILAH ALLAH HU AKBAR ALLAH HU AKBAR ALLAH HU AKBAR
Alhamdillah!!!!!!!!!! |
