I was an ugly duckling. Oh yes, I was! I'm not presuming I look good now, but what I mean is, I wasn't always this confident about the way I looked, nor was I always comfortable with myself! Actually, I still am not! Ha! Ha! I am your typical Pinay. As far back as I can remember, I've been dark, skinny, kind of awkward in the way I move, ma-peklat(as much as I hate to admit it). I remember it like it was yesterday: I was in my elementary years and my classmates would tease me "negra", or "aeta"... you know how nasty kids can be. It used to bother me a lot. I was insecure. I wanted to fit in. But I ignored their insults, went on with my life, met my barkadas, got active in things I enjoyed doing, studied hard, and eventually, everything fell into place. Now that I think about it, it was really the love and acceptance of the people around me that made me learn to love and accept myself, the way I am. Easier said than done, I know, but it really all lies in how much you accept and are satisfied with everything you have. Here's an example: We, girls, put a lot of effort into looking good for, let's say, a school dance. If we fix up and go to the dance in a dress we love, we feel confident; we mingle with everyone, we dance the night away, we have a lot of laughs. but, if we go to the dance in an outfit that's a size too big, in a color too loud, or shoes too small, doesn't it affect everything else? Wouldn't we feel like we'd just want the night to end? It's the same with being comfortable in our own skin. If we love how we look no matter what other people say or how they judge us, if we accept our flaws and focus on our assets, the positive outlook that shines through us will affect everything else!
True enough, when I refused to let my classmates' teasing affect me, I became more confident and more active in school, and I did feel more accepted by everyone!

Falling in and out of love

Ah, how do I know if it's true love? Does he love me? Will it last? These are questions that have been asked time and again, but have never been and never will be answered! Not to say that I'm cynical about love! Oh no, no, no! I am Miss Hopeless Romantic. I am Miss Daydreamer. I am Miss Do-Anything-For-Love! It's just that I believe each love story is unique. There are different characters, different conflicts and different endings to every love story. Just because your friend's whirlwind romance was the best thing that happened to her doesn't mean that the next man who sweeps you off your feet will be the one for you, too. Or just because your parent's marriage didn't work out doesn't mean you should no longer believe in marriage. To each his own when it comes to love. In my almost-20 years of living and loving, I've had my heart broken, I've broken a heart; I've been inspired, I've inspired others and I've learned three important things.

First, you know a relationship is good for you if it makes you a better person and if it brings you closer to God. Arguments in a relationship is normal. But the moment you notice that you're no longer growing as a person, that you no longer feel inspired and driven, and that you put your relationship above all other priorities in life, then you should take it as a sign that your relationship is taking a turn for the worst.

Second, you know a relationship is good for you if your family and friends are happy for you and your partner. Yes, I've tried the you-and-me-against-the-world thing, and it does feel wonderful to experience a love that great. But in the end, you realize that your family and friends just want the best for you - they're not there to make you kontra. They love you and they want you to have the love you deserve.

Third, you know a relationship is good for you if you are able to "leave something for yourself".It is good to love with all your heart; it is good to be generous and giving to the one you love but it's different when that love becomes the sole center of your life. Don't let your relationship consume you because if anything should go wrong, you'll be on the losing end.

Let your love for your partner make you love yourself, others and God even more.

Making the most out of life

Twenty years. Hmm... not exactly young, not exactly old. To quote Britney, I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Yup, it's tough being a young adult! It's no joke. You have to make the most out of your youth by enjoying the company of your friends, exploring all your interests, daring to do what you never thought that you would. At the same time, you have to be responsible enough to fulfill all you have to do at school or work; you have to be level-headed enough to make mature decisions and slowly but surely, you've got to make something out of your life! Pressure kaya yun! That's why I think at this stage, it's important to be active in your respective circles - whether it's a barkada, class, org, barangay or work group; to voice out your opinion and challenge anyone else's, to write, to read, to exchange ideas, to brainstorm, to conceptualize... Precisely because we have to develop our personalities on our own and be able to deal with all the pressure around us!

Everything that happens in our lives is really part of God's plan for us. I know it sounds so cliche, but I believe it to be true. Who we are depends on what we do with our lives. A line I read recently in a magazine really struck me. "Natural disasters are terrible things but what ultimately defines us is not what happens to us but how we react".

If you think about it, it really applies to everything. Whether your "natural disaster" is a failed exam, a broken heart, or a nasty rumor about you, in the end, it's how you handle it that makes you, you. Someone who seems so unlucky may have the best personality because of how she handles her misfortunes, while someone who seems to have it all may have the worst character because of how she treats other people. You make or break who you are. So pray, have fun, dream big, don't step on other people on your way up, keep your feet on the ground, laugh at your mistakes, learn from them, cry your heart out, love with all your heart, love yourself, love God. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Any comment? Just email me: zcarzy_cor17@yahoo.com