Feudalism::
You have two cows. Your Lord takes some of the milk.
A CHRISTIAN:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
Totalitarianism:
You have two cows. The governement takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being successful. You vote people into office who tax
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you
the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of
sabotage.
A DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you
have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has
only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
A BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the
drain.
An AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
An ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you have two cows, but you don't know
what a cow looks like. You take a nap.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge for storing them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership
with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the
American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A TALIBAN CORPORTATION:
You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and they
both die. You blame the godless American infidels.