What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%..
How about achieving 103%?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
What makes up 100% in life?
If
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, bullshit and kissing ass will put you over the top.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on it's face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says,
"Well, I guess we've finally answered THAT question!"
"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked.
When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, it's time for deep insertion."
The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!"
The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled, "BELL 4!"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband.
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!"
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Why is phonetic not spelled the way it sounds?
If Seven-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why is something that is new always improved? Have you ever heard of something new but not improved?
Oxymoron: postal service.
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When you send someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why is there Braille on drive-up ATMs?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
What's another word for synonym?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
Hermits have no peer pressure.
The gene pool needs a little chlorine.
How does the snowplow driver get to work?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
