Ask Darkwing!

Here is the only place you can get your questions answered by the man himself, Darkwing Duck! Recently, we’ve had the chance to sit down and chat candidly with Darkwing, Gosalyn, and Launchpad. They’ve taken the gracious time out of their schedules to answer the burning questions from the fans!

	Happy to be here, really.
	Yeah, this got me out of some mondo-boring homework!

Enough chit-chat! The people want to know.  Let's start with our questions!  Here's one from one of your fans:  Darkwing--how is it that no one can figure out your secret identity?

	That’s a good question, fan, I’m glad you’ve asked!  If one were to see Darkwing Duck, and my alter-ego Drake Mallard, one would notice the two men were so dashingly handsome that they couldn’t help but put two and two together!
	To make three!
	Yes, Launchpad..to make..three..Anyway, the gimmick that completely separates the similarities of two such striking individuals is my mask! Par example...

And you can hardly tell the difference!

	You sure are a master of disguise, Dad!
	I know, I know.

Right. Next question!  How does that hat stay on your head, with all the flying through the air you do?

	Flying?  Piffle.  That's what sidekicks are for!
	Heh, heh, yep!
	I can answer this one, Dad.  You see, when Darkwing puts on his hat, all the hot air in his head swells it up really big and makes it so tight that the hat can't possibly fall off!
	Grrr....
	However, when the steam comes out, the hat may be liable to slip off. As the case is..now...okay, I'm done.

Our next question is a valid concern:  Do people look at you funny when you buy those hats, capes, and masks and where can I get some?

	Let this be a lesson to us all, kids.  Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will...ruin your..reputation...I mean, what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter what other people say or think about you, what matters is that you look DARN GOOD in purple, and who says pink isn't a masculine color?  And that turtlenecks are in style this season!  So let the world say what they must--I'm a hero, darnit, and heroes wear stuff like this!
	St. Canard Halloween Depot, open year round.  Hey, they're having a sale on tights, Dad!
	Gosalyn, sweetie, I don't wear tights, but maybe we can pick up a pair for you!
	Aww, no!

Speaking of articles of clothing, our next question deals with that very subject:  Darkwing, why don't you wear any pants?

	What kind of stupid question is that?
	Boy, am I glad I never get these kinds of questions!

Obviously a popular one...but we can save that for later.  Our next question is for Gosalyn!

	Allright!  Give the public what they want!
	What *I* want is for you to clean your room.

Gosalyn--do you get anything for being the daughter of a crimefighting hero? You know, like confiscated criminal stuff?

	Well, nothing that Dad'll let me keep, unfortunately.
	I let you keep Ammonia Pine's cleaning stuff!  Wink wink nudge nudge hint hint!
	I mean useful stuff.  But I think the best perk of all is all the free time home alone.  I mean, that may not mean much now, but it will in high school!  Whoo-hoo, here comes the Mallard party train, everyone on board!
	One, two, cha-cha-cha!

Our next question is back to Darkwing.  DW, can I borrow ten bucks?

	Only if you're using it as funds to further the cause of justice!  Or the proliferation of my image...
	In fact, I'd be using it to start a museum/jail facility devoted to your, uh, mythic exploits!  The, uh, jail cells would be equipped with detailed accounts on how you apprehended each criminal!
	This is Gosalyn trying to get a raise in her allowance, isn't it?
	Well, it was worth a try.  Man, that was some of my best material, too!

We have a comment for you!  Oh, you are totally my hero!  I like, really admire the stuff you do and you are so handsome!

Yep, yep, yep, naturally, the adoring fans are all too eager to throw themselves at my feet.

Can I have your autograph?  Wait, you are Launchpad, aren't you?

	Aw, shucks, heh heh...
	Grrrrrrr....

And another comment from the St. Canard Board of Natural Resources: Gos, we have discovered 20 new plant and animal species in your room. We are now declaring it a nature preserve!

	All right!!!  Wait 'til the school science fair gets a load of this!  I could call it: "My Little Biosphere!"
	And I could call it "My Little Girl's Grounded!"
	Hee hee...I'll just be going to clean my room, now.

There's time for one more question and it's:  Darkwing, are you ever afraid you'll be arrested for not wearing pants?

THIS Q&A SESSION IS OVER!!!

  You heard the man!  That concludes this session of Ask Darkwing!  But keep those questions coming, St. Canard, because we'll be back for another zany session, where our heroes will answer the questions you need to know!  Thank you for joining us DW, Gos, LP!

	Dad, calm down!  Your eye's twitching again!
	Bye, everyone!
	Stupid questions, I'll show you pants, g'ooh, why I oughtta...

Send your questions in to the Household for the next session of Ask Darkwing!

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Thanks goes to Itazzy and Sam, who came up with a lot of these questions!

Images are mine.  Please don't remove without permission! :)