The Invasion of Rogue Challenger
In the
Final Fantasy 8 lounge, everything was pretty quiet: all the characters were
lying about without purpose, although Lavantis had distinctly given them all jobs
to help “brighten up” their new room at the Oasis. (Now just a cement walled
enclosure…. Hey nobody’s rich at the Oasis…) It was just one of those lazy
days, creeping slowly by with no excitement at all…
Just
then, with a yelp of terror, the overly large wooden door screeched open as
Zell71 slid in. He slammed the door behind him and sunk down to the floor out
of breath.
Zell71: Somebody…. gotta… hide….. me…. (gasping for air)
Zell: *leaps up from a hideous orange armchair,
alert and ready* What’s a matter,
Zell? Trouble at the Oasis? It’s not Lavie, is it? Because…we haven’t really, well at least
THEY *pointing at the others sitting around* haven’t been doing their jobs….
Zell71: *shakes his head, walking over and sitting on a equally ugly yellow couch next to Irvine* No, don’t worry about Lavantis… although you guys are really living in a dump… but hey that’s your problem…
Irvine: Sooo, what are you doin’ here, lil’ buddy?
Zell71: Man, I just need someplace to hide out…
Zell: *shakes his fist at the door* Is some one bothering you, ‘cause we’re like
brothers n’ all… sharing the same name…. And nobody messes with a Zell!
Zell71: *sizing Zell up skeptically* Thanks, but just don’t let anyone else in… oh crap…
Quistis,
hearing a knock on the door, opened it to let the new guest in.
Quistis: Hello there! I haven’t seen you around before, what can I do for you?
Zell71: Damn it, there’s no peace anywhere!! *covers
his face with his hands*
Rogue
Challenger: Here you are, Zelly boy.
Zell: Me?
Rogue
Challenger: *arrogantly snickers* Not you! I mean Zell71… the “supposed”
Master… ha!
Zell: *mutters*
Well, you did say Zelly, and that’s my fricken’ name too….
Zell71: Ahem…. I AM the Master! I don’t know what your smokin’…
Rogue
Challenger: Yeah, yeah, yeah…. *whips
out a stack of printed papers and waves them in the air* lets see you answer these… TWO HUNDRED AND
THIRTY FIVE QUESTIONS.. come on, right now, without checking them or asking for
any help. Then, we’ll see who’s the
REAL Master!
Squall: Wait, are you saying that YOU’RE the real
Master, Rogue Challenger?
Rogue
Challenger: *hesitates* Nooo, but I am
going to prove that Zell71’s not either!
I mean, nobody can call himself the master…
Squall: …Whatever…
Zell71: We’ve already been through this: leave the questions, five at a time, and I’ll post them later. I don’t have time for crazy people hounding me…
Seifer: You want me to slice him up? Huh, Zell71?
*starts walking towards Challenger with his gunblade in hand*
Rinoa: Seifer, violence is not the answer!
Seifer: But, if this guy’s bothering Zell…
Zell: *scratches his head* I don’t even know him…. Why would he bother
me?
Seifer: Grrrrr…
NOT YOU! I mean Zell71….. try to keep up or shut up, Chickenwuss.
Zell clenches his fists and
starts for Seifer, but Selphie intercepts him, quickly shoving a hot dog,
specially delivered from Balamb, into his mouth.
Zell: Hot dogs!
*scarfs the entire thing and then goes to the kitchen to get some more*
Zell71: Thanks Selphie.
Selphie: *winks
and collapses into Irvines lap* Anytime.
Rogue
Challenger: ENOUGH! Time to put out or admit defeat!
Zell71: *rolls his eyes* You haven’t stumped me yet!
What do I admit defeat to?
Seifer:
*poking Challenger with his gunblade vehemently* This one’s a cowardly moron… just another loser… if I were you
Zell, I’d shove all his questions up his—
Rinoa/Selphie/Quistis:
SEIFER!!!
Squall: Would somebody just wrap this up please?
Zell71: I like the way you think, Squall. *clearing his throat* Rogue Challenger, you haven’t stumped me and just because you are a sore loser, yeah you heard me, and are on the losers page, doesn’t mean that you can come barging into the Oasis, demanding this and that just so you might have a better chance to be a “winner”. I mean, give me a fricken’ break here!
Irvine: Whahoo-e! You tell ‘em, Zell!!
Zell71: *pumped up* Now, GET OUT!!
Rogue
Challenger: This is what I’m talking
about… you’re just an imposter not rea—
Zell71 runs over and grabs
Challenger by the collar, dragging him across the concrete floor and kicking
him out the door. Then, he slammed the
door shut… again…
Seifer: *breaking the silence* I really respect you, even though you’re a
“Zell” and everything.
Squall: Yeah… Nice moves.
They hear a loud bang outside
the door, and peering over as the door slides open, WutaiCat slowly enters with
her arms crossed.
WutaiCat: What’s going on in here!?
Zell71: *innocently shrugs* Nothing…
WutaiCat: *squints her eyes at him* Well, then, how
come your in here, NOT working on your questions? And, even worse, I just saw one of our visitors run out of here
as fast as he could! You know anything
about that Zell?
Zell71: Ummm………. Well, you see…….. it’s kinda a
funny story……
Seifer: Yeah, Zell kicked that guy’s ass!!!
Zell71: SEIFER!
*curses under his breath*
Irvine: *Springing to his feet and almost shoving Selphie to the ground* Yeah, but Cat he deserved it! Comin’ in this here room and demandin’ us to do what he wanted… and I was saying “hey lil’ buddy calm down” but he went all crazy and them I put him in his place…. With a lil’ help from Zell71 O’course!
Zell71: *rolling his eyes at Irvine* I don’t know what he’s talking about Cat,
but you gotta believe me! That guy was
out to get me…. Like a stalker!
Squall: No person could take that insolence in their
own home….
WutaiCat: *thinking for a second, then answering
reluctantly* Alright, I guess we don’t
want people like that at the Oasis anyway.
But next time, just answer the guy’s questions!! I mean is that really too much to ask??
Seifer: He did have two hundred and thirty five…
WutaiCat: Wow, that’s a lot…
Zell71: You’re
telling me! The Stump the Master room
is cramped with letters… they’re flowing in like there’s no tomorrow! I just needed a break, and then that wacko
was following me… I couldn’t take it!
Selphie: *Hugs Zell from behind* Poor Zell!!
Lavantis: *bursting into the room* Ah ha!
I KNEW you weren’t doing anything!
Look at this place!
They all bow their head in shame at the rebuke.
Zell71: It’s not really they’re fault, Lavie, after all, me and Cat have been kinda distracting them…
Seifer: *pointing at Zell71* Yeah, what he said!
Lavantis: Don’t give me that!! I make this perfectly good room for all you
to hang out in and ask you to just fix it up a little… I should’ve made a Final
Fantasy 7 lounge first!!
Cloud pops his head in the
door.
Cloud: Did you say “Final Fantasy 7 lounge”?
Lavantis: *shaking her head in dismay* Cloud, I told you: I’m working on it.
Seifer: Yeah, so get the hell out of the FF8 room,
you scum of Final Fantasy!!
Cloud: *glances around* Well, if this is the FF8 room I don’t think I wanna be here….
Looks like a mix between the ghetto and the 70’s. *shudders*
Lavantis: Aghhhhh!
That’s it. You guys better fix
this place up! And YOU *points at
Cloud* you come with me. We’re going
to build a FF7 lounge….
Lavantis, pulling Cloud by
the arm, leaves the room.
WutaiCat: I’d love to stay and help, but I’ve left the
Fanart Section unsupervised for too long…
Zell71: Yeah, errr, and I need to get back to the Stump the Master Mail Room… get going on those questions…
WutaiCat, followed closely by
Zell71, dash out of the room, while the Final Fantasy 8 crew are left staring
at the wooden door.
Squall: I bet they locked the door…
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