(the camera turns on and we find our fearless captain SD holding two 
small canisters, one with the letters C.G.G. and the other had the 
letters C.H.G. SD smiles almost evilly)
 This one's for you Chewy
:One hour later...:
 Ahhhh! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
 I HAVE EARS!
 And a tail
 We're all...cat-girls
......SD!
(SD pokes his head in the door)
 You rang? Oh hey Hikari I see you got the invitation I sent you 
and might I say you are looking lovely this evening
(the girls glare daggers of death at SD, SD stares at the girls almost 
teary eyed)
...Kawaii! ^-^
(Auska, Hikari and Tifa advance on SD menacingly but SD pulls the door 
open all the revealing a very small Shinji with short and stubby legs 
and arms, no hands to speak of, and extremely over exaggerated 
expressions)
.........Kawaii!
(all three girls run up to the chibi Shinji and start hugging him)
 Ah! Hey come on girls I'm not a stuffed animal cut it 
out would ya!
 But you're just so Kawaii!
 I never knew baka Shinji could be Kawaii!
 Never underestimate the power of the chibi
 SD, would you know the cause of our transformation?
 Um well you remember that package I received yesterday?
(Rei nods)
 Well inside was a gift from Chewy, a canister of cat-girl gas and 
two canisters of chibi gas and well I sorta released the cat-girl gas 
into the ventilation system infecting all female members of NERV
 And what of Ikari's condition?
 Well I only had enough for two batches so I used one on Shinji
 And the other?
 Ummm, maybe you should see for yourself
(SD pulls out a small remote and pushes a big red button, doors off to 
the side slowly slide open with dramatic smog affect, dramatic music 
plays over hidden speakers as the door inches open, after what seems an 
eternity the doors finally open all the way and everyone can see the 
outline of a very small person)
 Ladies and gentlemen may I present to you...chibi Gendo!
(as soon as SD says Gendo three spotlights illuminate the now chibi-
sized Gendo Ikari)
............BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
!(collective deep breath) 
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(massive sweatdrop) You all realize that after this is 
over you will all be punished greatly
 You know he just isn't as intimidating when his voice sounds like 
chipmunk on helium
 How did you manage to sneak past all of Gendo's security systems?
 Who said I snuck through
::FLASHBACK::
(Gendo Ikari is sitting behind his desk playing with his Eva and angel 
action figures when his door suddenly falls down)
(fumbling with action figures) What is the meaning of this SD
 So that's what you do in here all day huh? Play with action 
figures
 It is strictly for military purposes
 Right...and let me guess the Marduk Institute picks their pilots 
by pulling them out of a hat right?
(while pushing a hat under his desk with his foot) Get to the 
point, why did you render all of my guards unconscious and knock down 
my door?
 What I can't give my favorite supreme commander a gift?
 Gift?
 Here catch
(SD throws a the canister marked C.H.G.  at the commander enveloping 
him in a cloud of gas, when said gas disappears only a chibi Gendo is 
there)
::END FLASHBACK::
 So the commander plays with toys huh? Who would have thought
 As I said it is strictly for military purposes!
 Anyways why don't we take out pint sized friends here and finish 
off the rest of this fic, we're one fic away from finishing it and I 
heard from Washu that the FF Apocalypse will finish its self repair in 
about a week
 Fic? FF Apocalypse?
 Oh that's right, well just come with us and you'll see, you might 
as well now that you're a cat-girl, you'll have to wait a few hours 
before it wears off
 Oh, ok
 Well I guess we can overlook this little situation this time SD 
 Personally I find the tail and ears to be intriguing
 I guess they're not all that bad, lets go!

SEATING ARRANGMENT Cat-girl Tifa, Cat-girl Rei, SD, Cat-girl Auska, 
Cat-girl Hikari
(holding Chibi-Shinji) Well Shinji this should be fun
 Yeah we'll finally get to see if you are gay or not Shinji
 How many times do I have to tell you I am not gay!
 Well you did hit on Hikari a little so I guess you have some 
manliness credit 
 What?! Shinji hit on me?!
 No but it might as well have been hitting on you, you sat and 
talked for a whole hour and he didn't blush or turn shy or run away the 
entire time
 Wow
Standard Disclaimer

I, Zentrodie, of sound mind and body 

 ::COUGH::Bullshit::COUGH::

here by decree that I don't own anything of Evangelion...but that would 
be a lie, as I do own the groundworks artbook collection. I don't own 
any RIGHTS to it though.

 And as of thirty minutes ago I own NERV
 So you finally pulled it off huh?
 Well when ones supreme commander turns into a living doll you 
sorta loose respect for them, I happened to be in the commanders office 
and so they picked me to be the new commander ^-^
 Great NERV goes from being run by a cold-hearted bastard to 
being run by the biggest hentai on the planet

Here it is, the conclusion to my second actual fanfic.  For those of 
you who read this far...it wasn't really far to read though, have my 
gratitude.  I know my attempt at a humor fic fell short of the humor I 
create with my mst's but I think this helped me get back some of my 
creativity.  

Now for my request.  I was asked if I would mst my own work, the answer 
is no I won't.  I want one of you readers to mst it for me :) call it 
turn about fair play.  An email to me stating your intention is all I 
require so...this isn't the end...it isn't even the beginning...but I 
could be the beginning of the end.

(to author) So that's how you got this gig
 SO? WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

Bit of warning though...this chapter isn't as funny as the past 3.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------

The Games People Play

Chapter Four- Review

Morning, a time of figurative rebirth, 

 Morning? Morning? What is this morning he speaks of?
 You know that time that the world usually wakes up at
 You mean the world doesn't get up at two in the afternoon?
(everyone else sweatdrops)

a time to great the new day, for some a pleasant time and for 
others...well it isn't pretty.  Shinji slept like a baby and was gently 
woken by the Minato at the time he asked her to raise him. 

 Second best way to wake up
 And the first?
......No comment

Asuka...well she wasn't so lucky.

"Can't sleep...hussy hasn't left...can't sleep...have to kill baka..." 
she droned on after slamming her umpteenth cup of coffee.  

 Damn you are devoted aren't you?
 If only you showed this dedication when piloting Unit-02
 Shut up you talking doll! (kicks chibi-Gendo into the 
screen)

Her mantra of death and dismemberment was shattered by the sound of the 
door closing.  She jumped to her feet and ran full force to catch said 
hussy on her escape.

 Jealous?
 Shut up!

Misato was another unfortunate person, a night sleeping on a Nerv sofa 
had did little to brighten her mood and the red blur that crashed into 
her didn't help either.  "ASUKA! What the hell do you think your doing 
this early!"?

"Misato?" the red bullet asked.

Trying to understand her ward she asked, "What did you expect, a call 
girl?"

 Yes

"No, Shinji's late night roomy...thought it was her leaving," she spoke 
still unsure as to who she would need to kill.

 Auska! How could you be so insensitive?
 What? If I don't know who it is they're an it in my book

'Shinji had a girl over last night...and I missed it!?,' standing up 
and helping the exhausted girl up and off her, "Tell me what happened."

(as Auska) It was horrible there was a girl in Shinji's room 
and it wasn't me!
(Shinji and Auska blush)

Asuka sat down the now somewhat pleased Major and told her of what 
horrid sounds she heard during the previous night at his door.  'A 
little exaggeration is helpful,' she reasoned.

 So...Auska...bigger is better then huh?
 I'm...gonna...kill...you...guys!
(CG Auska proceeds to pummel the hell out of SD) 

Her exaggeration had a quick response as Misato quickly and fluidly 
went to Shinji's room, knocked...and by knock it is implied that she 
kicked the door in, and walked in.  Shinji to his defense had on his 
boxers and was in mid pull on his jeans.

(CG Auska stops pummeling SD and looks at the screen then cocks her 
head to the side)
 Auska you're living in sin again!

Turning full read due to his state of undress calmly asked her to, 
"SHUT THE DOOR!"

 Why turn red when you can turn read!
 That was lame even for you SD
(head hung) I know

"Where is she Shinji, and I will not leave until you produce the woman 
that slept in this room!"

 Looks like she found out about the blow up dolls Shin man
 Blow up dolls?!
 Yeah, and he just got a package today, I think he finally got 
yours
 Baka no hentai! (kicks Shinji into screen)

"Woman?" was his oh so humble response.

 Does he ever respond differently?

"Asuka told me everything, a girl was modeling cloths for you in her!  

 Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww

I thought I could trust you Shinji-kun!"  Misato screeched as her anger 
reached new heights.

"Calm down screeching weasel!" Minato chimed.

Directing her assault towards the digital diva, "Silence bits for 
brains!"

 Catfight, catfight!

" I am based off your mind so any mental problems is YOUR fault, and 
Shinji was talking to ME last night.  Have the whole thing on video 
feed." Minato stated while replaying a time-lapse account of the 
previous night.

 Minato has video editing software right Shinji?
 Yeah, why?
 Though so
 What are you talking about?
 It appears that a certain part of Shinji's anatomy was 
enlarged
(rewinds fic a few lines then back, rewinds then back, 
rewinds then back) Baka hentai! (Shinji is once again kicked into the 
screen)
(in pain) It was Minato's doing I swear!

"Oh dear Kami...Shinji-kun...I..." she then realized he had yet to put 
his pants on and something was...apparent.

"Wow...for a fourteen year old your packing!" she gasped.

 Misato!

"GETTHEHELLOUTBEFOREISICKMINATOONYOU!" 

 Gadzunetight (A\N If anyone knows how to spell that properly 
please let me know)

Shinji stammered as her caught Misato's lingering gaze.

Quick to appease her master, "Will do Shin-sama," and with that Minato 
caused a minor electrical surge and prodded the Major out of his room.  
He wasted no time to finish his task.

(grabs Shinji) You will give me that laptop now!
 Do I have a choice?
 If you ever want to return to normal, unlike the C.G. gas the 
Chibi gas needs an antidote
 Ok, ok fine you can have her now can I have the 
antidote?
 No way, once Minato is in my hands you'll get your antidote 

'I think I ruined more of his self-esteem...great,' then it struck 
her...well he struck her, "What is it Pen-Pen!"  The bird waved a 
flipper at the sleeping 2nd on the floor of the living room.  "She'll 
get her punishment.  ASUKA WAKE UP!" she bellowed right into her wards 
ear.

After prying herself off the ceiling and readjusting her cloths, 
"WHAT?"

 Taking lessons from Wyle E. Coyote have you?
 God damnit cut it out!
::WHAM:: (SD now resembles said Coyote after a long fall then turns 
into an accordion)

"You need to go buy us breakfast, now," she handed the growingly upset 
girl a wad of cash and matched her glare.

Not to be outdone, "Why don't you make the pervert do it?"

"Well probably because, HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Misato countered again 
with yet another yell.  'I need something to drink, been yelling to 
much today.'

------------------

At Nerv

"Sempai, is that enough now?" Maya squirmed in her seat.

(as Maya) I think two is enough sempai
(Chibi Shinji and Gendo get nosebleeds)

Looking at her underling, "I guess so Maya, thanks a lot.  You don't 
know how much that means to me."

Building her courage she asked, "Enough to let me have a week off?"

"You want a week off, any plans?" Ritsuko perked up, 'She's going to 
ask me to do something with her...she's so kawaii!'

 I'll vouch for that, double since the gas release
 How much of the compound was affected by that gas?
 Pretty much the whole compound
 But...aside from Aoba and Motoko all of the employees are 
female
(SD just grins as he pulls out a radio)
 Yes hello? Please send in Ibuki
(Maya walks through the door and is sporting a tail and ears the same 
color as her hair)
 See? That will be all Ibuki-chan
(Maya blushes then leaves)
...Chan?

Squirming again under the now intense gaze of her sempai, "I...want to 
ask somebody out on a date...and if things go well...well you know."

(All stare at SD)
 What?

"Sure Maya, you can have the week off," she said with a nudge.

"Thanks so much Sempai I won't even tell anybody about you having me 
say all those odd things into the mic." She bawled while giving Ritsuko 
a small hug.

 They were more like odd noises
 And how do you know?
 Aside from commander Ikar...(looks at Gendo then at SD) 
commander SD and sub-commander Fyustski I have the highest security 
clearance possible
 Damn doll
(Rei smirks, yes you herd me Rei smirks, albeit very faintly)

"So..." Ritsuko prodded while holding her charge.

Turning confused and a little scared, "What?"

Adding more force to the hug, "You going to ask me?" 

(pulls out a hat) Ok everyone place your bets! Does Maya 'swing 
that way'? 
 Five thousand yen says that she does!
 Five thousand that she does not
 I'm with Rei
 Um well…I guess I'll go with Auska on this
 Come on Shinji you and the ex commander as well
 Um well…er ah…I guess I'll go with…Rei
 How about this 'commander SD' you bet and if your bet is 
correct then I'll give you the master key to NERV and if you loose you 
return me to normal and give me back command of NERV?
…Ok, you got yourself a deal bub and I bet that she's bi
(Gendo smirks)

Pushing herself off the doctor, "Sempai...you think...that I..." with 
that Maya burst into a fit of laughter.

 Yes!
 Shiest\Shoot!
 I'll be expecting that antidote now SD
 Not so fast there Gendo, you forgot to specify which Maya you were 
talking about (pulls out radio again) Yes hello? Ibuki-chan? Will you 
please bring your 'friend' in here?
(the door opens and Maya walks in with none other than Ranma Saotomi)
 But, that would mean that she's straight right?
 Not really considering who she's with (SD splashes Ranma with cold 
water and he turns into a girl) See like I said, bi
(handing over a keycard) I hate you

Looking at the hysterical woman in front of her, "You mean you 
don't...?"

"I'm sorry Sempai I like you as a friend, but I don't swing 'that' way, 
not that anything is wrong with that.  

(all look at SD)
 Hey I got no problem with woman swinging that way only men

Well I have to go thanks again," the still laughing woman said while 
leaving.

'Well fuck,' the dejected doctor thought while trying to calm down.  
'Maybe a hentai game will ease my troubles.'  And with that thought the 
doctor began to make alterations to her program.

--------------

The rest of Sunday didn't go much better at the Katsuragi residence.  

Misato trying to make amends for the...boxer incident, Asuka attempting 
to find out what Shinji was doing on his computer, and Shinji playing 
his game into the late hours of the night.  The sleeping situation was 
roughly the same as well; Misato and Minato passed out in either real 
or digital Yebisu, Shinji out like a light (with out his SDAT mind you 
so it is a minor miracle), and Asuka formulating plans for the boy she 
claimed was either gay, not that she had anything against that, or a 
pervert.

 Actually after watching this it's now both

-------------

Shinji woke extra early on Monday, still feeling great.  He made 
breakfast for his impromptu family. While he put the finishing touches 
on his homework, tastefully neglected while he played his game, Minato 
asked him, "So you actually going to do this?"

Putting his papers in his bag, "I'm going to try, I think it needs to 
be done." 

"What level of security should I utilize while your gone?" she asked 
with pride in her wave file.

"Highest...I don't want anything to ruin this," he smiled at 'her' 
while talking.

Virtually blushing, "Shin-sama you should smile more often, would 
contrast that damn gloomy & depression atmosphere you promote."

 No cause then it just wouldn't be Shinji
 I can too be happy!
 Prove it
(Shinji tries to smile but every time he gets close it turns into 
either a frown or a really depressed look)
 Just give me a sec I can do this!

"We'll see when I come home later, Ja-mata Minato."

Before he powered her off, "Sayonara Shin-sama"

'If I see her...I'll lose my composure, and I'm going to need it for my 
plan...' so he stole into the early morning mist towards school while 
his flat mates slept.

 So is he taking lessons from Happosi or what?

They awoke twenty minutes later to the sight of a fresh meal and no 
cook.

"Good 'ol Shinji leaving food for us, Ne Asuka?" Misato chirped after 
her 3rd pre-morning beer.

 Pre-morning beer?
 Yeah she splits the day into drinking times so she can 
regulate her drinking. She has her pre-morning beer time with a case, 
right after that is her morning beer with same, then she has her post-
morning beer with two cases, her afternoon beer which is a case cause 
she can't sneak more than that into NERV, then she has her after work 
beer, post-after work beer, pre-dinner beer, dinner beer, post-dinner 
beer and midnight snack beer, all of which are two cases each
(all except SD and Shinji sweatdrop)
 Oh and I forgot her in-between time beers which is a case 
between each segment
(all except Auska, Shinji, and SD facefault)

Spitting out some sausage, "He's gone...he went to met Kensuke I bet, 
he lied to me!"

"Kensuke, more computer trouble?"

"It's a cover up I bet, they're dating!" Asuka announced.

 You're a conspiracy theorist aren't you?
(quickly hiding an issue of 'Conspiracy Theory Weekly') 
No!(sweetly) What makes you say that?

Misato was so shocked by that statement she lightened her grip on her 
beer...that only happened one other time in her life.  "You have got to 
be shitting me."

"I bet it's on that computer of his...email or something, and I'll find 
it!"

"Yeah you could do that, or you could go to school?" the major quipped.

Looking at her watch Asuka realized the errors of spending to much time 
in the shower and began left for school.

 And we all know why she takes so long don't we
(Shinji gets a nosebleed and Auska mallets SD into the theater screen 
causing a forcefield to activate and send him flying straight back into 
his seat resembling a piece of over cooked steak)
 Washu!

'I have to clean up again!  Asuka you spend too much time in that 
shower...and I bet I know what you're doing.'  Misato made another 
mental note to clean the shower before making her way to Nerv.

 Damnit!

--------------

Touji was like an animal stalking his pray, sleek, hidden, 
powerful...no wait that's wrong.  He was more like a fuming boyfriend 
standing in front of the school building with only one thing on his 
mind, 'Shinji.'  And the object of his fury was walking his way towards 
him.

 Uh oh Shin man is in trouble now
 Why what's going to happen?
 Remember when you first met Touji?
(Shinji cringes and tries to hide behind Tifa)

"Going to school early are we Shinji?" Touji asked while trying to hide 
his intent.

Not expecting anybody so early the young Ikari stammered, 
"Oh...t..Touji you here early too?"

Approaching the smaller boy, "Want to see Hikari do you?"

 Are you guys even going out?
(blushing) Um well…you see it's…no, he sorta has a 
girlfriend already
 Damn…we are really screwing with this world aren't we

"Hikari? No, I have plans to take care of...a mission so to speak." 
Taking a few steps back.

(theme to mission impossible starts to play)
 Oh very funny SD!
(SD sniggers)

Grabbing Shinji by the collar, " You sure you don't want to 'talk' to 
Hikari?"

Hikari had the good graces to show up just at that moment for school, 
"TOUJI!"

 Busted!

He froze, he dropped Shinji, he paled, he spoke, "C..Class-rep?"

"How dare you do that to Shinji, that's horrible," picking up the 
startled pilot, "come with me Shinji and I'll help clean you up."

She led the recovering pilot classroom and left a still panicked Touji, 
"What happened...and how can I kill him without those guards killing 
me?"

 Well for a small fee…
 Don't even think about it!

----------------

"I'm fine Hikari, he was just playing around," Shinji said to the 
irritated Hokari girl, 'I think.'

 Those two words should never be seen in the same sentence as each 
other

Cleaning his face of dust, "That monster, and to think I like him 
too...how could he do that?"

 Good thing this isn't real or I'd have to say this world was a 
gonner
 What's so wrong with that?
 Hikari giving Shinji some play? I know he deserves some but that 
just wouldn't happen…then again this is Zentrodie we're talking about 
here

'I can use this as a warm-up!' Shinji thought before making his action. 
"Have you told him you like him?" his voice full of confidence. 'Who'd 
have guessed she liked him?'

 Once again undeniable proof that man can, in fact, be denser than 
lead

Blushing again due to the confident boy, "I..I...no."

Taking her hands in his he guided her to the door, "Do it now, as in 
right now." 

Smiling at him she opened her mouth to speak but didn't have the chance 
as Touji burst into the room, " YOU TWO CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN THE 
CLASSROOM!"

Simultaneously the two answered, "What?"

 Ok now that was creepy

Jumping to conclusions like everybody seems to be doing, "Do it now! 
You two are going off to have sex now!"

(SD reaches into the picture and slaps Touji who shakes his head before 
resuming)
 Ok now what in the HELL was that?
(shrugs) SI powers, Lauren can probably do it as well

The wind up...and the punch, Hikari backhanded Touji square across the 
jaw, "He meant for me to tell you I like you."

 Oh, two slaps in less than two seconds that's gotta hurt

Holding back his laughter, "You really have bad timing Touji."

Rubbing his jaw and looking at Hikari, "Really?"

Wiping a stray tear, "Yes you big dope."

Sugar content in the room rose as the two embraced each other lightly, 
a teacher pinning a detention notice on Touji for public display of 
affection.  

(SD walks up to the screen, reaches in with a Ziploc, opens it then 
closes it)
 Now what are you doing baka?
 Are you kidding? Just one bag of that scenes air has enough sugar 
in it to last a year

Touji made his apology to the Shinji just as Rei came in and took her 
seat.  Shinji noted this and set his plan into action.

Walking to her desk Shinji opened, still with confidence, "Morning 
Ayanami."

(sarcastic) Oh now that was brilliant

In her oh-so-expressive voice replied, "Ikari."

 Hey Hikari you want to go watch some rocks, I'm sure they'll 
have a better conversation than these two

'This isn't going to be as easy as I thought, but I have to continue,' 
gathering his resolve again, "So, any plans for after school?"

"No."

His voice faltering a little bit, "Care to go to the mall with me, 
maybe see a movie?"

 Thousand says she responds with a why
 Why?
(all sweatdrop)

Giving him a stare that would pin birds to trees answered, "Why?"

Expecting that answer counted, "To relieve stress, a stressed mind is a 
clouded mind, and a clouded mind isn't productive."

 Wow…complete words

Across the room.

Holding Touji's hand Hikari asked, "What is he doing?"

 Zentrodie how dare you! Hikari is not that dense! Only Shinji!
(Hikari blushes)

"Thought he had a thing for her...think he's asking her out, or 
something."

Hikari gave Asuka a thought, 'It's her own fault, should have talked to 
him instead of stalking him.'

 Auska doesn't talk, she yells
 And what the hell is that supposed to mean!

Back to the Rei Shinji debate.

"So people go 'out' with each other to relieve stress?" Ayanami asked 
tilting her head.

 I'm not sure why but that is just the most Kawaii thing I have 
ever seen (looks at CG Rei who is looking at him with head tilted) 
aside from that

Over joyed with his minor success, "That and to have fun.  To enjoy 
life."

"Fun, it isn't required."

(all facefault)
 Should have known

Taking a seat by her, "But it isn't forbidden is it?"

"No."

"Consider it an experiment in human relations, you may find you like 
it."

'Ikari has not lied to me before, and it follows what Ritsuko-san said 
would happen' after a few more moments of deliberation, "Yes, I will 
accompany you to the Cineplex after school," Shinji smiled, "As an 
experiment."  He deflated a bit but smiled.

 Pssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh
 Oh shut up already will you!

With his post school plans he stood, spoke "That's all I ask, thank you 
Ayanami-san," and went to his seat.

Five minutes later Asuka calmed down enough to make her presence known 
to the class.

"Hikari, how could you let that happen?"

Looking away from Touji, "Let what happen?"

"He talked to her! HER! How could you?" wiping something from her eye.

Touji looked Asuka in the eye and delinquently said, "If you weren't 
such a bitch to him maybe he'd talk to you."

(Auska is thrown back in her seat)
 Wow, that was such a blow to her ego and pride that it hit her 
like a physical blow, amazing

Asuka was not happy, and an unhappy Asuka equals pain for those who 
cause said unhappiness.  After Asuka vented she ran back home, Touji 
limped to his seat, Shinji was still in post success mode, and 
Hikari...well she was torn between new boyfriend and Asuka.

 Damn that is a tough choice, the Nitroglycerin or the rock

-----------------------

She knew she should have gone back to school, but vengeance was on her 
mind.  Asuka got back to the apartment and immediately went to Shinji's 
room.

Staring at his laptop, "I command you to start."

 All hail self named princess Auska! 

Minato yawned, "You're not my registered Master so buzz off."

 Ouch, dissed by an electronic Misato, harsh

Opening her back, Asuka took out her secret weapon.  "Give me access to 
his files or I'll shove this magnet so far into your chipset you'll 
never remember your precious 'master!'

 Hmmmmmmmm (pulls out a large magnet and attaches it to SD 
who starts marching around the room singing show tunes and folk songs)

"You wonder why people are afraid of you," Minato spoke while the 
safety walls were brought down.

"What is this 'game' that he kept playing."

Trying to save her master, "Um...no game it was all a joke 

 Wow, she'll be commin round the mountain, A computer that, when 
she comes, backs you up 

so he could date Kensuke."

(all facefault)

"Bullshit, he was hitting on Wondergirl, he isn't gay...not that 
anything would have been wrong if he was."

 Yes there is! Mountain, damnit!

Minato had lost and was about to open the game but then, "Of 
course...forgive me Shinji-sama. Why don't you look at the CD first?" 

Asuka picked the case Minato mentioned, "Viper collection...that 
hentai! This is the biggest collection of smut created," oddly enough 
though...a bit of drool was on her lips.

(SD finally manages to remove the magnet and looks at Auska who is 
drooling slightly, SD shakes his head and sits down)

With a hint of amusement, "How do you know so much about those games 
Asuka?"

"I...read about them in a magazine."

Her joy now increasing, "What kind of magazine talks about hentai 
games?"

 Lets see, Maxum, playboy, FHM and many others

Fighting back the urge to scream, "Bring up his save state."

Knowing that the save game wasn't viper...Minato stalled, "Do I have 
to?"

Sensing the hesitation from the virtual idol, "You lied to me didn't 
you."

"Damn it...fine, just don't kill him please," Minato started up 
Shinji's game.

Asuka stared in horror, "PROJECT: RAISE AYANAMI TRAINER*!! What the 
living hell is that!"

Cringing Minato began shutting down, "It's all in the title."

Seeing nothing but red...her hair fell in front of her eyes, 
"He...he...OH KAMI-SAMA I'll skin him alive when he gets home"

----------------------

Back at school things were much more peaceful.  The students didn't 
learn anything as sensei driveled on about 2nd impact. Insulin was 
freely passed around as they watched Touji and Hikari paw each other.
 
(everyone removes a syringe of insulin and injects themselves)

Lunch caused several heart attacks as a young Ikari and Ayanami were 
seen talking to each other.  Several went into epileptic shock, one 
quoted bible passages, and two others...well were pissed to have lost 
chances with both of them.  All in all a very odd day for many 
students.

(as reporter) Students would later call this day the day from hell

------------------------

8 p.m. Katsuragi residence

Shinji stole into his apartment, 'I've been sneaking in a lot lately.'

He stopped and blushed as a memory of his 'date' flashed into his mind.  
'I never thought it would go so well!  Kinda know how my dad feels 
though.'  His joyous mood was not to last.

(Shinji looks at Gendo, Gendo looks at Shinji, both shake their heads 
and resume watching fic)

"How was the date."

 Oh it went well!
 Remember Shinji this is just a fic, you never really went on a 
date with Rei
 Oh

Shocked, "ASUKA! Where were you? You never showed up to school!"

"Like you care! Playing games with your doll?"

'Lets see how she likes what I've learned,' with the confident voice, 
"What's got your panties in a bunch?"

(SD and Auska are both thrown back into their seats)

Not expecting that, like anybody was, "Well my pants are rid...HEY!" 

"So you learned about what I did today, I was tired of Ayana...I mean 
Rei being so introverted, so I'm trying to help," Still full of 
confidence.

Looking at Shinji oddly, "So...you're not dating?"

"No, we're friends now though...maybe in time we could be more...piss 
you off?" he approached her.

(Looks at Auska who is pure red) Yeah I'd say so

Backing to the wall, 'what happened to him...he's so..so...cool!,'  not 
wanting to let him see her like that, "Why would it!" of coarse her 
voice lacked conviction.

Putting a hand to her cheek, "If you want to try your hand...I don't 
have any plans tomorrow, Rei has tests."

"I...uh..." she politely responded.

 I think he meant stuttered

"I'll take that for a maybe...oh...and if you take a shower...keep your 
voice down this time, I'm going to bed," he smiled and entered his 
room, 'damn...confidence ROCKS...you can do whatever the hell you 
want.'

Asuka...well Asuka ran to take a shower.

-------------------------

Nerv

Shocked at the sight before her, "What the hell are you doing now 
Ritsuko?"

 Do I hear…humming?
(Shinji and Gendo both get nosebleeds)
 Heh, two for one

Crying in her chair, "Maya ditched me!"

"Serves you right for playing with her."

"No she isn't 'like that', but she said nothing wrong with how I am."

When what Ritsuko said finally registered in the mind, "You mean 
your...your..a lesbian?" 

"More like bi...say, you doing anything tonight?"

And Misato fainted.

(all facefault)

The End.

Epilogue 

 When will it end!
 You seem to forget that you turned into a playboy in this fic
 Oh yeah

Two weeks later

Rei entered Ritsuko's office, "Doctor Akagi?"

(SD's eyes flash, everyone else scoots away)

"What is it Ayanami?"

"I want payment for my willingness to participate in your 'game." Rei 
offered.

"What did you want...the game isn't finished."

Blushing softly, "I...want you to change it."

"Really how?"

Actually fumbling with words, "I would like you to change the rating."

"How so?"

"Make it adult."

Ritsuko smiled evilly to herself, "You saw the sensor readings didn't 
you...even I want to have one like that. Now."

 Why is it that everyone makes it so that Shinji is ALWAYS 
PACKING!?!?!
 The author probably has penis envy (Gomen!)
(everyone stares at Rei)
 No that's SD.
 HEY!

"Thank you doctor, deliver it when done."

With a sigh Ritsuko looked back at the screen. "This "Shinji Trainer" 
should sell a lot more units...specially with his unit and permission 
now...he he he...it's good to play both sides.'

 Evil!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------

So that's it! Its over.

I don't know if Asuka takes Shinji's heart in the end or if Rei does.

 Either way he wins
(Rei and Auska blush although Rei's is almost non-existent

Shinji did mean it when he claimed to initially only want to "help her 
open up"

 Yeah, _open_ up

And there really is a game called 

Project: Schedule Ayanami Trainer

(crying anime tears) I want that game so badly!

Gianax made its start with a game called "princess maker" and the Rei 
trainer is an offshoot of that game.  Not many people have it.  I saw a 
picture of Shinji playing it with Asuka looking at the back of the 
computer and thought...that make a good story.  So I wrote it.  The 
conclusion didn't have as much comedy as I wanted but I think it ends 
the story well.

Hope you liked it, and all feedback would be appreciated.

Give thanks to my prereaders

Chewy

 The Chibi master himself! 

Golden Kitsune

You guys rock...and help keep me working :)

Till next time

Ja-mata

Zentrodie (Zentrodie@secondimpact.com)


 After a long and perilous journey it's finally over, we can 
go home!
 Not quite Tifa but lets talk about that in the rec room

::INT REC ROOM::

(everyone is gathered around a table drinking tea, except for SD who 
has a bottle of JD and Shinji is back to normal, Gendo is still chibi 
and is currently being tossed back and forth between Souske and Vash 
and the girls are all still cat-girls ^-^)
 What's with the Jack Daniels SD?
 I don't know, I just had the insatiable urge to drink, something 
is probably going to happen
 So SI boy how long till this Cat-girl gas wears off?
 Well the initial transformation will last for another hour or so 
but under certain circumstances you'll revert back to cat-girl form
 Like what kind of circumstances?
 Being exposed to cat-nip, mice, when you get really excited, 
things like that
 So when do we get to leave this world?
 Um…well you see there was kinda a malfunction with the self repair 
mechanism so Washu is going to send in some experts to help, she said 
in the meantime we are to remain here and MST anything that comes our 
way
(collective sight from original team, SD takes a seat between Auska and 
Rei and throws an arm around both)
 Personally I could spend a year or so here
(Auska raises a mallet to hit SD but before she can swing the alarm 
starts going off)
(with radio) What the hell is going on!…WHAT! (SD starts growling 
like a wolf) so _they_ want to play huh, well it just so happens that 
Washu sent me a rather large amount of Chibi gas a few minutes ago, 
when they get to the designated points release the gas its already set 
up and your computers have the locations
 What the hell is going on?
(cracks knuckles) Something I've been meaning to do for a while 
(cracks knuckles) The JSSDF is here

Dum, dum, dum! I've actually been meaning to write a fic solely for the 
purpose of having me and a friend (Chewy) beat the crap out of the 
JSSDF just because I hate them with a passion and this gave me the 
perfect opportunity to do it. Well good-bye for now, until I find 
another Eva fic or Eva fic series to MST you won't be hearing from me! 
Aren't you all happy! Oh…you are…damn

Savagewolf420@hotmail.com for reviews, flames, ect, ect

    Source: geocities.com/zentrodie.geo