A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
::WHAM:: 
 That's the last time we let *you* do the opening
 No more Star Wars for you
(rubbing his head) Ow, ok ok no more Star Wars themed opening's sheesh, you 
didn't have to hit me
::WHAM::
 Yes we did ^-^
(SD mumbles something incoherent as he walk off as Lauren and Tifa follow after him)
(sweetly) Awwwwwww, I'm sorry, did we hurt your feelings? 
(SD glares dagger at her then continues walking finally ending up in the briefing room 
where the rest of his crew awaits)
 Ok everyone time for our next assignment, we are to proceed to this star system
(SD pushes a button on the holographic projector imbedded in the table, it displayed a 
bunch of dots that nobody except SD and ACV (Annoying Computer Voice) understood) 
 And then what?
…I have no idea
(everyone expt SD facefault)
 I'm serious, Washu didn't give me any instructions, she said only to go here and 
wait
 How…thoughtful 
 Indeed, from my calculations we should arrive in about 1.2 seconds
(said time passes and the entire station shudders)
 What the hell? Bridge, status report!
 Sir it appears that a high impact energy projectile has just collided with us, it 
appears to be a beam weapon of some sort
 On screen
(the viewscreen in front of them lights up just in time to see a bluish beam of coherent 
light slam into the stations shields)
 Sir shields at ten percent!
 With only two shots? Damn…
 What's wrong?
…I want one
(everyone on the entire stations facefaults)
 Sir we can't survive another direct hit!
 Sir I detect a high-energy source on the surface of the planet below! They're 
going to fire again!
 Ok…everyone abandon ship!
(in less than a minute everyone onboard the ship escapes on the escape pods)
 Um SD…there are no more life pods left
 Shiest! You baka!
…Crap
(the last thing the camera sees before blacking out is the station on a crash course for the 
planet…the camera turns on again and we find the station is in tact although very badly 
damaged and the bodies of it's crew scattered about, we then see many, many armed men 
approach the unconscious team and haul them off)
(when SD opens his eyes he is in a dark room sitting in a chair, his hands unbound but 
feeling very dizzy)
 So, you've come too
 Ung, where the hell am I?
 You are at NERV headquarters
 NERV?
 That is correct
 Sweet! I've always wanted to come here
 Do not rejoice just yet Shadow Dragon, you are here for a reason and weather you 
want to or not you will cooperate
(a light turns on in a corner of the room revealing the rest of his crew tied up)
 What do you want from me?
 We have gathered that you have some skills that we require, we want you to 
review stories based on our persons and critique them
 Huh? Is that it? Sure no problem
 You…agree to this?
 Yeah sure
 Some of the stories will be…disturbing, even grotesque
 Hey if I've seen Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi I can watch anything
 Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi? What is that?
 Only the most disgusting, horrible, putrid, grotesque, and just plain wrong fic ever
 I see, so then you will have no problems with our request?
 Only one thing, Ill need my crew to do it
 I think not, you will be provided with An alternate "crew" until you prove your 
worth, you will however be able to select one of them for the time being
 Fine, since this is the world of Eva and all I choose Auska-chan
(the restraints on Auska disappears and she charges SD and mallets him across the room)
 Baka! How many times do I have to tell you not to call me chan!
 Ow
 Interesting, you will now be joined by your "crew"
(the lights turn on and Auska and SD find themselves inside a theater, Shinji Ikari, Auska 
Langley Sohryu, Rei Ayanami, and Touji Suzihara join them)
 Who the hell are you!
 I'm Auska Langley Sohryu, greatest Eva pilot ever, who are you?
 > *I'm* Auska Langley Sohryu, greatest Eva pilot ever
(everyone else stares at them as they start to fight)
 Um guys? I don't think you should…
(a white light engulfs both of the Auska's)
 Touch each other
(when the light disappears only one Auska is there)
 What the hell happened?
 I thought this may happen, If I remember my advanced time space theorem class 
then you two just fused
(everyone just stares at SD strangely expt Rei who looks at him with her usual 
expressionless stare)
 Ok it's like the basic principle that no two objects can occupy the same space at 
the same time only a little more complicated, the law states that no two beings of the 
same genetic properties can occupy the same space at the same time, so in short the space 
time continuum detected this flaw when the two Auska's touched and corrected it by 
fusing the two into one
 Ok then Mr. Wizzard tell me this, will she have changed at all?
 Well she will have some side affects but nothing major, mood swings and multiple 
personalities but that's about it, if they were the same Auska's there wouldn't be, but our 
Auska changed so now the two will bide for dominance and the winner will be the one 
controlling the body
(meanwhile Dr. Ritsuko Akagi is writing every word down)
 Interesting…I will have to 'talk' to him later
 There have been enough delays, now to work
 Geez, no matter who's in charge it's always faster, harder, more! God I hate being 
pushed around
(Touji and Auska along with the rest of SD's crew off in the corner sweatdrop as they 
take their seats)
Seating arrangement SD, Auska, Shinji, Rei, Touji
 Hey!
New seating arrangement Shinji, Auska, SD, Rei, Touji
 Better, captain should always sit in the middle (smiles at Rei and Auska)
 Not again
(Rei just stares at him with a blank look on her face)

Standard Disclaimer!!!

Wow…I didn't think I'd actually try writing an original fic again after my last fiasco!

 Oh yeah, GREAT way to start out your fic
 He is simply stating that his last story was unsatisfactory
(everyone sweatdrops)

Times have changed and I am going to give it yet another try, but this time no drama just 
humor.

 No drama…drama bad
 Um are you ok?
(SD looks at Shinji with a lost look in his eyes and starts shaking while everyone else 
slowly backs away)  

Bear in mind that this fic will have NOTHING to do with anything of importance…no 
angels, no death 

 Damn

(well maybe a wee bit), 

 Yay!

and deals with a show I don't own anything of…still urks me.  We can't I own some of 
this show? 

 You and me both brother

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

 Personally I prefer truth or dare
 NO BAKA HENTAI!
::WHAM::
 Auska! You didn't have to kill him!
(dazed) I'm ok…just need a little nap is all
 What is this guy?
 A hentai

The rain poured down upon Shinji in vales while he kept his silent vigil.  The rain didn't 
bother him too much this day as he had promised himself that he wouldn't allow anything 
to dissuade him from the importance of today.

 He was finally gonna grow a backbone and hit on Auska and Rei?
(Shinji blushes, Auska mallets him again, and Rei simply stares)

'How long have I been standing here, 

 Five minutes

why do I stay, 

 Beats me

why didn't I read the damn weather reports?' 

 Can't trust weather reports

were the thoughts crossing his mind.

 I bet those weren't the only thoughts crossing your mind Shin man
(blushing) Touji!

Several early morning commuters slowed down to stare at the young boy that, dispute the 
torrential downpour stood stoically outside an electronics shop.  Most trying to figure out 
why anybody would do such a thing.  The rest just wanted a good laugh at somebody 
else's expense.

 Damn dude you really are every ones bitch aren't you?
 So I give people something to laugh about!
 Dude, you're standing out in front of an electronics shops just staring
(blushing) So?

After about twenty minutes waiting and a few bouts of sneezing, Shinji finally lifted his 
gaze from the sidewalk towards the door that he was standing in front of.

 That's when he realized that it was Sunday and all the shops are closed
 Why do you stand out in front of that door?
(blushing) Well…it's…a pretty door
 Ok you really need to get a life, that is just pathetic

The young owner flipped the sign from 'closed' to 'open' and opened the lock.  Shinji 
wasted no time in getting into the shop.  

 Why did you break the door down pilot Ikari?
(Shinji just blushes and stares at the floor)
 I'm wondering how the wimp broke it down in the first place

" What were you doing outside my shop so early?" questioned the owner.

 I don't think you want to know

"I…I…I'm out of sdat tapes." The waterlogged pilot commented.

 I thought you only listened to that one?
 I do but…I kind of…wore it out from using it so much
 I'm confused (the others except Shinji look at him confused) Should I be laughing 
my ass off or scared?

The owner retorted, "You do this every week Shinji, why don't you download music like 
everybody else on the planet?"

"What do you mean download it?"

 You really do need to get out more often

While attempting to hold back her laughter, "You have a computer don't you?" 

 No cause then his room would look like someone actually lived there

After a moments thought, 'I have Misato-san's old PC I just never hooked it up.'  He 
responded now giddy owner, " I have one."

 It's the year 2015, don't you guys have like VR computers or something?
 No all the money was spent on the Eva's
 How much money was spent on the Eva's?
 Well you know all of those people who were staring to death cause they had no 
money to buy food?
 Yeah
 Well lets just say they don't have to worry about food anymore
(sweatdrop) Oh…I see

Sighing in relief " Thought you were going to say you didn't…and if you did I'd have to 
question your sanity lil' boy.  

 We still do

Well 'normal' people don't pay for music anymore they download it from other people."

"Isn't that like stealing?" was his worried reply.

 No it's more like borrowing…permanently 

"Never mind Shinji, make your selections and bring them to the counter," the owner said 
and thinking to herself 'What is this kids problem, all he does is worry, kid needs to get 
laid.'

 No truer words have been spoken
(Shinji blushes furiously and get a small nosebleed)

Shinji picks out a few tapes from his usual categories and heads to the counter to pay.

 How come you get paid?
 Um…cause I'm…the son of the commander

"Classical and Jpop?  This stuff will rot your brain or make you all depressed.  

 I don't need music to make me depressed, I have my life to do that for me

Why don't you ever pick anything else?" she commented while ringing his purchase.

 Cause it might make him undepressed and that just wouldn't be Shinji
 Hey I can be happy!
 Give me one example
 Well there was that time when…no wait that just made me more depressed, ok 
then there was that time when…no wait that was a movie
 Told ya 

"I…just like to listen to it I guess, sorry."

 Ok, you're apologizing about what kinda music you listen to lighten up man!
 Sorry
(SD puts his head in his hands and moans loudly)

'I bet he apologizes for the toilet paper roll being out…

 Yep, and when it rains too

maybe I can give him a lil present' 

 Yeah go Shinji! Getting some from the electronics lady!
(Shinji blushes)

after bagging his tapes. "You said you had a computer, Ne Shinji?"

(As a knight of NI) We are the knights of NI! You will bring us…a shrubbery!
(everyone else stares at him strangely)
 It's from an old movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Yeah baby!)

Taking the bag from her hand, "Yeah I do, but I don't want to steal music."

Sighing and tossing a duel CD case, " It's a new game that just came in today, you might 
like it, being a pilot and all."

 Oooooohhhhhhh, Japanese game
::WHAM::
 Hentai
 Why is he drooling?
 Because the only games those Americans consider Japanese are hentai games 

Shinji gazed at the cover of the CD and smiled brightly " I can really have this? Honto 
ne?"

(as knight of NI) NI!
(everyone else cringes)
 Never underestimate the power of NI!

"Yes you can, nobody else would want it.  

 I do I do!
 Haven't you seen this before?
 Yeah so?

Now get out before the Saturday rush comes in," she said while shooing him out.

Stilling looking at the game in his hands, 

Shinji skipped out of the store to find the sun shining down on the streets as if to 
symbolize the joy he now felt.

 And then he gets struck by lightning
 Knowing my luck

"Today's not going to be as bad as I thought it would be," he hummed to himself while 
the increasing number of passing cars showered him with the rain water that pooled along 
the road.

 Why is that water…purple?
 Eeeeeewwwwww, Angel blood

While he trekked back to his apartment Shinji never noticed the never-ending showers of 
road run off, the bicyclist that ran into him, the two girls that tried to talk to him, or his 
wallet falling out of his pocket.  

 You were hit on by two chicks, TWO CHICKS and you didn't even look at them!
 So I was preoccupied 
 Dude they were hot!
 Oooohhhh, wait till I tell Hikari
 No…wait…you wouldn't! Man I am so screwed

No his mind was completely focused on the item in his hands, 'I didn't even have to pay 
for it! Wow I wish I knew they were making it.'

 Perv
 What? You don't even know what game it is
 No she's right, you are a perv 

Just outside the door to his apartment a feeling of dread smacked him upside the face.
  
 No that would just be Auska slapping him again

"Asuka…" with that one word Shinji's mood crashed, 

(a loud crashing sound is herd and everyone except SD jump)

'what would she do to me if she found out about this?" he questioned as he fingered the 
game in his still wet hands.

 I can think of a lot, most involve a massive beating and much pain

Inside said apartment, the first signs of life begin crossing two women's faces.  Both rose 
and lugged their still tired bodies out of their respected rooms.

 Damn, you guys get up early in Japan
 It's only eight what time do you get up?
 About eleven but that's only if I have something important to do, usually it's more 
like two or three

"Morning Asuka." Misato mumbled out while images of Yebisu danced in her head.

 Misato can speak words before she has a beer?
 Wow, never seen that before
 She must still be drunk from the night before

"Guten…morgen," was the redhead's response as she made her way to the bathroom.

Weather Misato actually heard her over the continual chant for beer going on in her head 
is debatable.  

 No it's not

She resigned herself to the fact that Asuka would always take the bathroom first, and 
arguing with her about it was as smart as trying to ask the Angels to visit the America's 
instead if Japan.

 This is true

Shinji slowly began to make his sneak entrance, hiding the game inside the bag of tapes. 
'They should still be asleep, Misato-san never wakes before noon unless we have tests, 
and Asuka…Well I don't know about her.'

'Beer…beer…beer' was all that Major Katsuragi heard until she sat down, leaned back, 
and popped the top and 
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!"

 My kind of woman

In the shower, 'Kami-sama she needs therapy, that aught to wake sleeping-baka up.  He 
better make something good for breakfast,' Asuka then began thinking of what to do on 
this lovely Saturday, mostly she thought of ways to antagonize Shinji but lets give her 
some privacy, Ok?

 Damnit!
::WHAM::
(putting mallet away) Hentai

With the alarm sounded, Shinji was needless to say, but I say anyway for some reason, 
terrified and made a beeline for his room, but this is Shinji so…

 He tripped?
 He ran into the bathroom and saw me naked?
 I trip, fall, and break my neck killing me instantly condemning the entire 
planet?
(the room falls silent as the others stare at him)
 You are seriously messed up in the head man 

"Shinji-kun, is that you?" Misato called out.

'Shimata!' 

 Bless you
  
he cringed " Hai Misato-san, what is it?

"Breakfast."

"It's done, thanks Mis…" but he was cut off.

"No, I want my breakfast so get cooking.

" I just need to drop something off in my room." 

(as Shinji) God I hope she doesn't find that blow up doll of her 
 HENTAI!
::WHAM::
 That's funny, I was aiming for Shinji
(in pain) S'ok

He squeaked while heading towards his holy ground.

 Behold the holy ground known as Shinji's room!
(a bright light shines from nowhere illuminating the MSTers
 …What the hell was that?

"You just came from your room, or did you sneak out early again this morning, or is it 
sneaking in early.  Late night visit with a girl maybe?" She asked coyly.

 Shinji…
 With a girl…
 Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! 
(Shinji blushes)

Resigned to his fate he entered the kitchen bag in hand.  

(a death march plays over an intercom and everyone expt SD jump)
 Where the hell did that come from?
 Don't know…just does

" I wanted some new SDAT tapes, so I went to my favorite store."

 Little did Misato know that SDAT actually stands for Sexual Dreams Audio Tapes
 I knew you were a hentai 
 No it doesn't!
 Is that so? Then how come you have to change your sheets so often?
 …

"This early and why are you wet?" 

 Trust me…you really don't want to know

the astonished Major asked while hammering back a second can.

 Ow…that's gotta hurt
 How did major Katsuragi manage to fit half the can in her mouth?
 Ummmm….well you see…oh just go ask Misato!

"Couldn't sleep, and I'm wet because the damn weather man if full of it!" he shouted 
while putting the bag down and grabbing his cooking utensils.

 I don't know much about cooking but those don't look like kitchen utensils
 They look more like…toys
(Touji, Auska, and SD look at Shinji)
 What? It's not my fault Misato leaves her to…
 So third child just what did you and Misato do before I arrived?
(blushing)…

Now normal people usually can hold back curiosity, or at least wait a few moments 
before their nosey nature takes over them, but Misato isn't normal.  

 Any woman that can pound out 5 beers in under a minutes defiantly isn't normal
 That's nothing, I've seen her down ten in a minute
(Touji goes into a dream like state while muttering something about heaven having a lot 
of beer)

The moment the young Ikari turned his back she dove for his bag.

 Remind me to never turn my back on her

"Lets see what you got good, shall we?" she chimed while her rummaging began.

The skillet fell, the food fell, and Pen-Pen was thrilled to be fed so soon; Shinji turned 
pale as he heard her. " Misato-san!"

"Boring, boring, boring…wait what's this? " she lifted a certain duel CD jewel case from 
his bag.  "Care to explain this?"

 Is it me or does that say 'Auska's wet and wild adventures?
 HENTAI!!
::WHAM:: ::WHAM::
 Ow

"The store owner gave it to me…said it was a gift and I'd like it because I was a pilot." 
He then began trying to liberate his newly purchased possessions from his guardian.

(healed) Shinji you are the epitome of a 98 pound weakling, you aint liberating 
nothing from nobody 

"My lil Shin-chan is becoming a man. Just make sure to sleep at night now that you have 
this," she flipped the cd over and looked at the requirements. " Ought oh."

 Spagedios! ::AUTHORS NOTES Yes I know that's not how you spell it so piss 
off!:: 
(everyone stares at him strangely including Rei then start to back away rather quickly)

'I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead' was the internal mantra while he asked, " What's wrong?"

"You cook, I'll explain." 

(as Misato) Well now you see there are the birds and the bees, which is fine and 
dandy, and then you have this, you are a sick little boy

She then waited for him to break out new supplies and begin her breakfast. " If you 
planned on using that old PC I gave you, it won't work."

 Well that PC is from the year 2000, barley pre second impact, thing should be 
in a museum
 Hey I resent that! I'll have you know that back home I have a very good PC

"WHAT!?!?!"

"Would you two shut up out there! People are trying to bathe in here!" shouted a very 
annoyed voice coming from the direction of the restroom.

 What the hell is ACV doing there?
 That's me you twit!
 Oh…I thought ACV sounded familiar

"It's simply to out of date, sorry Shinji-kun.  I guess you could ask Ritsuko for an old PC 
of hers." She said still repressing the urge to giggle madly at the lack of composure and 
totally red face of her charge.

 No actually that's his normal color
(Auska grabs Shinji so that SD can see his face)
 See?
 Well I'll be dammed

After several minutes of silence, unless you count the sound of sizzling food, " I can?"

 Yes but you'll need to take some 'tests' to get it
 Remember SD this is Ritsuko, not Washu
 Who is Washu?
 Self proclaimed greatest scientific genius in the universe who also happens to be 
20,000 years old and looks like a 12 year old
 Sounds like Ritsuko, except for the looking 12 part
(both Shinji and SD jerk violently as an electrical charge shocks them)
 That'll teach that little punk
::meanwhile off in space somewhere::
 Damn little punk, didn't know I could do that huh?

"Shinji, she makes new computers daily, I'm sure she can let you have one.  So what 
made you buy this huh?" she asked nudging his sides as he set her plate down.

"It was given to me, um…when can we ask her?"

"After my shower I'll call her, you can take the train to the base and get one." She said 
between bites, 'I knew it all along!'

 Than Shin man really is a pervert?
 Hell I could have told ya that jock

He set Asuka's plate down and gathered his items, " You won't tell her will you?"

 Misato…biggest gossiper in town not tell? Highly unlikely
 Looks like you're screwed Shin man

"Two weeks." She said with a wicked smile on her face.

"What?" was the obvious reply.

(as Misato) You herd me! I want to weeks of sexual favors for keeping quiet
(Touji enters another although deeper dream like state and starts drooling)

"Two weeks of doing my chores will buy my silence," again spoken between bites.

(as Misato) Among other things (evil grin)

Wiping Misato's egg off his face he nodded and ran to his room to hide his new 
acquisitions.

 Damn Shinji how many blow up dolls did you get?
 Well I have one of Misato, Rei, Maya, and Auska, can't find the 
Hikari…one…though…
(Shinji is promptly beaten by Auska and Touji)
 What is a blow doll?
 Basically you with less emotions
 I see 

Asuka made her way to the kitchen, "Shinji eat already?"

Finishing her meal, " Yeah, why were you in the bath so long?" Misato smiled.

 Yeah why do your baths take so long?
(blushing) Well I…you see I…oh just shut up before I pound you again!

"I think you had one Yebisu to many, 

 Not possible

keep your perverted thoughts to yourself."

 They are only perverted if you take them as such
 Wait…hold on did Rei just try and make a joke?
 It's the sixth sign of the apocalypse! 

Conversation finished, and what a thrilling conversation it was too, 

 Yeah I can just see it now, two hours of talking about clothing, guys, and 
clothing
 Clothes are important!
 Not to Rei they're not
 I'll prove it, Rei what's more important, clothes or saving the world?
 Saving the woooooorrrrrrrlllllllll……clothes 
 Told ya, deep inside every woman no matter how un girly they seem is the 
undeniable urge to shop
(everyone stares at Rei and Rei has a confused look on her face)

Asuka shoveled her food down, stood, spoke " Well I'm off, Hikari and I are going mall 
hopping," and left.

Misato was left shocked, 'Who do they expect to clean this mess up!'

 Well it is her day after all, she always finds a way to get us to do it
 And when she gets you to do it you get me to do it for you
 God damn…you really are the worlds biggest bitch, you should get an award or 
something 

Lets jump ahead about thirty minutes.  Misato showered, 

(Touji once again enters dream like state while drooling)

Shinji listened to his new tapes, 

 Wait…did your SDAT just blow up?
 Damnit! No the tape just blew
 Already?

and Asuka ran to Hikari's, after a stop at a certain electronics store, and all was merry.  
Not really several countries were without food and people were just in a pissy mood, but 
they don't factor into this story so who cares about them.

 Apparently not the author
 Wait I thought you said that all the starving people died cause all the money was 
used on the Eva's
 Well those poor at the time yes but when that happened all of the upper lower 
class and the lower middle class people became the poor hungry people

Misato made the call to one Ritsuko Akagi and asked about the deal.  They settled that if 
Shinji signed a release form, with his undying loyalty as collateral, he could have one of 
her early laptop creations.  Shinji rushed to Nerv to get it.

 Is that written…in blood?
 And I always assumed the Gendo was the devil

'I'm getting a laptop this is so nice of Akagi-san!' Shinji thought as he made his progress 
through the maze like corridors of the Geofront until he reached his destination and 
knocked.

Hearing scuffling and what sounded like clothing being hastily put on, "Hello, Ritsuko-
san it's me, Shinji." 

Ritsuko answered the door with ruffled hair and raspy breath, "So soon, didn't expect you 
till later." She looked back into her room.

 Are those…moans I hear?
 They sound feminine 
 Wow…so she really does swing that way, I though it was just the perverted lesbian 
loving authors out there
::AUTHORS NOTE: No I do not believe that either Ritsuko or Maya are lesbian or even 
bi for that matter::

"If this is a bad time I could come back later," he asked with a hint of depression in his 
voice.

Ritsuko shut the door and returned about five seconds later tossing him his new 
computer; " You'll have to register yourself as the user. I have to worn you though, this 
was my first attempt at an AI like my mothers' and the brain pattern was…chosen based 
on availability.  Now if you'll excuse me," that said she shut the door and locked it.

 I have to get back to…entertaining…a guest

'Those weren't my fathers glasses in her pocket were they?' Shinji shrugged off that 
question as he headed back to the train station to go home.

 So what do you think? Bi?
 From the looks of it
 What does bi mean?
 God, she's just like Chi when she first got turned on, emotionless and knows 
nothing
(Rei cocks her head to the side the same way as Chi)
 Now that's just wrong, where is Chi anyways?
::meanwhile deep inside NERV::
 So this is Chi
 Yes commander
 Have you been able to extract any data from her?
 No sir, all we keep getting are pictures of SD, the name Hideki, and pictures of 
women's undergarments
 Chi! Hideki says that Hideki needs panties Chi!
(Gendo and Kouzo sweatdrop)

"Lets get this registration bit done now." He said to himself, and received a few odd 
looks in the process.  He booted up the computer and entered all the information asked.

 Name: Shinji Ikari, Age: 14, Sex: Phft, yeah right
(Auska+Touji laugh while Shinji's blushes)
 That's not true!
 Dude you were being hit on by two hot girls earlier and you didn't even bat an eye
 "…"
 Yeah, that's what I though

The computer booted up completely, all the while Shinji was contemplating just whom 
exactly Ritsuko used as a base brain length for his computer.  'I don't need anything this 
fancy but it was free so I won't complain.'

The Ritsuko Akagi AI was online, with the new feature of voice recognition and 
feedback.  It truly was an AI as it spoke, "Oh Shinji-kun, you know exactly the right 
buttons to push."

(Shinji and Touji get massive nosebleeds sending them flying backwards over their 
chairs)
 Now *that* was an impressive nosebleed

"Misato-san, where are you?" he asked nearly dropping the PC off his lap.

"In your hands silly, I'm Minato," his laptop chirped.

(starry eyed) Kawaii! It's a chibi Misato!
 So it's a tiny Misato with no hands and over exaggerated features, what's the 
big deal?
 It's just so cute
::AUTHORS NOTES in the immortal words of Chewy: Don't get mad, get chibi!::

'She used Misato's brain for her AI!' he thought as he quickly powered down his 
possession. "This is going to take some getting used to."  

The train arrived and Shinji boarded, laptop in hand.

 Hmmmmmm…
 What's up?
 I was just thinking…Misato…laptop…
 Hentai

In another section of the city.  

"What are we doing here Asuka?" 

(as Hikari) You know I like the hotel down the street
(two streams of blood erupt from the still fallen pair, Auska pulls out a ruler)
 Hmmmm, six feet, I think you guys just set a new world record

Hikari whined as Asuka deviated from the pre-set plans.

 Yeah they were supposed to go to the hotel *after* they bought the new toys
::WHAM:: ::WHAM:: ::WHAM::
(SD now resembles a puddle of LCL)

"That baka Shinji left early this morning, woke me up, he always comes here when he 
does."

"And you know this because?" Hikari asked with a look of bewilderment etched on her 
features.

"I…followed him here once or twice," Asuka let out almost above a whisper.

(healed) So not only are you loud, obnoxious, cute and angry but you're a spy as 
well?
 So I'm multi talented

"You stalked him, I knew you liked him!" the class-rep said while prancing around the 
sidewalk causing some people to throw change at her.

 Ow…that one looked like it hurt
 Was that even a coin?
 It looked more like a manhole cover

"I wasn't stalking, I was worried he might do something stupid." She replied to her 
overly happy friend, 'like going to visit Wondergirl.'

 Jealous?
(Auska just fumes, having spent to much energy pounding SD to hit him)

"Wow, look at that crowd, we'll never get it."

 Well it looks like those Hikari blow ups just came in
 I'm still gonna hurt him for that 

Asuka not one to waste time grabbed the nearest kid and asked as nicely as she could, " 
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS LINE FOR!"

 Oh please, I can be nice
 Really?
 YES I CAN BE NICE NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I STAPLE IT 
SHUT FOR YOU!

The child wet himself, started crying, and ran away.

 Hey Shinji how'd you get there so fast?

Hikari took the next case and asked the next girl in line, " Why is everybody standing 
here?"

After witnessing what insubordination resulted in the girl answered, "Bishonen Yatta  
just released their new album," she gushed while blushing, " I want one."

(Shinji and Touji finally make it back to their seats)
 Shinji, why do you listen to a boy band?
 "…"
 I'm seriously starting to question your sexuality man

"Hear that Asuka? Asuka" Hikari looked for her friend only to find her still chasing the 
boy she questioned. "Never mind."

Scratching her head, 'Now why would Shinji-kun want a boy-band cd?'

In yet another section of the city, damn big cities.

Ayanami Rei woke, showered, ate, and um…well sat back down and read a book.

 Do you have a life Wondergirl?
 Yes…I read

It was just another typical day for the blue haired child.

-End of chapter-

What book you may ask?

Was it "PC's for Dummies?"

Why did she read it? 

What game did Shinji get?

What the hell was Ritsuko thinking of making an AI Misato?

Will Asuka kill the kid that peed his pants?

Will I write another chapter?

Will I bring in Touji and Kensuke?

What was Ritsuko doing?

Will I shut up?

All this and more IF I write another chapter

Now where did I leave that…oh yeah what will happen when the AI is plugged into the

Internet.  Ask Lain…no that's the wired. 

(end of mst)

wait this wasn't a mst

 What's an MST?
 What we were doing, he has a really good MST series going

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author notes

I got the idea for this fic while looking at a picture in a book of mine.

Shinji's playing a pc game while people look at him.

While that isn't that great an idea, I thought I should try writing original fics at least one 
more time.  I have ideas and plans for further chapters but I would like some feedback on 
this story.

See if I've improved my original work.

Review and comment please

Zentrodie(zentrodie@secondimpact.com)  www.geocities.com/zentrodie.geo

 Well that's it, shows over…now what?
(five armed men enter the theater and drag SD's crew out)
 Hey wait! I want a lawyer!

Well now that was fun, starting my Eva only MST series. If any of you out there have 
seen my other MST's then this will make a little more sense and if you haven't I'd gladly 
send it to you. Questions, comments, and flames to Savagewolf420@hotmail.com. I 
would also like to take this time to give special thanks to a good friend of mine who 
introduced me to the Dark Scribes page and Zentoid's work, so I would like you all to 
take a moment and thank Chewy, so if you like the MST you should thank him and if you 
didn't like it piss off! Laaaaaaate. 
 

    Source: geocities.com/zentrodie.geo