Hello everyone Shadow Dragon here again with my latest MST: The Games People Play part 3. Sorry if it doesn't seem to have any meaningful storyline but I do all my work by the seat of my pants…speaking of which where are my pants? Probably hanging out with your sense of humor in the gutter Har-de-har-har, but this is serious! How can I write without pants? That's never stopped you before Good point, on with the show! (when the camera turns on we find our hero's (sorta) minus SD sitting in one of the many lounges) So where do you think SD is? He's probably near the command bridge by now (a large explosion rocks the facility and a loud cry of joy is herd) It appears that he found the armament room (another explosion followed by an evil laugh) Yep (takes a sip of her tea) Do you think we should stop him before he reaches the commander? No! Well I'm bored! (Shinji flinches) Lets do something! Well we could watch more of that fic You mean the one where Shin man is gay? I am NOT gay! I'm game There is only room enough for five in the theater Well I haven't seen a fic in a while so I'm defiantly going I did not get to finish the last one (throws Rei a menacing look) Well I'm not going to miss a chance to tease baka I'm with Vash, I haven't seen a fic in a while either (one of the doors to the lounge suddenly blows up and SD walks through the smoke) You guys were planning on watching a fic without me weren't you? How can you properly MST something without your fearless captain?! Then it's settled! (throws an arm over Tifa) Want me to escort you? (Tifa bends Vash's arm resembling a pretzel) Hentai ::INT THEATER:: seating arrangement: Vash, Auska, SD, Tifa, Souske Standard Disclaimer Well here I am again, writing chapter 3 of 4 of games. I still haven't stolen any property rights to Evangelion, Gainax still has them. Give SD another hour or so and he'll own all of NERV (SD smiles evilly) I know my grammar and spelling still need work, but my prereaders are getting better all the time as well :) so don't be to cruel. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Games People Play Chapter 3- Play "Ritsuko, I know what you're doing…but why all the costumes?" Misato asked while pawing through an endless supply of women's clothing. (tilts head) I didn't know Misato looked that good as a cat-girl Hentai! ::TWACK:: (cracking knuckles) Ah that felt good (in pain) Nobody hits like you Tifa-chan "Research, oh call Maya in here. Have a favor to ask of her," Ritsuko said as she continued to hammer the keys of her keyboard. (as Ritsuko) Tell her to bring the whips and chains too Misato paged for Lt. Ibuki over the intercom before asking, " What exactly is the purpose of your 'experiments' and 'projects?" Or the more important question, where does she keep the bodies? Where do you think they get the parts for all those Rei clones (SD is stunned silent) Somebody get the bucket…quick "Fun mostly, and could help finance Nerv a bit more." She said as she called up a few more image files for Misato to look at. (SD pulls out a pad of paper and starts writing) What are you doing? Taking notes On what? Rei and Auska's measurements (Auska blushes for a moment before hitting SD with an extra large mallet) ::WHAM!:: Looking over Akagi's shoulder Misato finally had a revelation, " You made that game Shinji brought home today!" What!? Thank you Ritsuko! "He's got a copy already? Good, I wanted him to beta test it anyway," she said as she let out a sigh of relief. Just don't ask him to return it (the others start to speak but freeze as they realize something) (shuddering) Eeeeeeeewwwwww "You did, why him?" Who better to test her games than the king of hentais? Auska looks over at SD who is in the process of being pummeled by Tifa for coping a feel) Ok then…maybe the queen of hentais (over comm) Hey! Closing out the image viewer before Maya showed up, "Figured he could use the stimulation…and could you think of a better subject?" Why not? At least it'll keep him from peeping at my beautiful body You do realize the game is Auska's wet-n-wild adventures right? (eye twitching)…I'll kill the baka! "Guess you have a point on that one." Misato's further comments cut short as the young black haired tech rapped on the door. (someone knocks on the door to the theater and SD answers it returning with a small package about the size of a shoebox) What's in the box? Nothing! "Senpai, you called for me?" Maya asked while peeking her head through the door. (as Ritsuko) Whips? (as Maya) Check (as Ritsuko) Black leather outfits? (as Maya) Check (Duh) Commander Ikari? (Duh) Check (the others turn sickly shades of green and proceed to empty their stomachs) Ritsuko demanded while waving her in, "Maya come in, I have some assignments for you." (reading a piece of paper) Take tip A and insert into hole B Take fist A and connect with head B… ::TWACK:: Impact with floor C ::THUD:: Maya shyly entered the office taking notice of the odd look on both Misato and Ritsuko's faces, "What…did you need me to do?" (as Ritsuko) I want you to show the major here that thing you do with your tongue (Vash gets a nosebleed and passes out) Two down one to go (Souske flinches) Grinning like Asuka does when an opportunity to prove her self arises, Ritsuko spoke, "First we need to do a little voice actress work and second put these sensors into the 3rd child's plug suit." (as Ritsuko) Then we need you to destroy the Eva's (Souske turns white then passes out) We still got it! To say Maya was stunned would have been an understatement; she stared blankly at the dynamic duo for about five minutes. "Why?" Just smile and nod Maya, it's less painful that way Sensing the tech's reluctance Ritsuko switched to plan B. She walked behind the still confused woman and put her hands on her shoulders, "Maya, you want to help me don't you?" (as Maya) But sempai we already did it six times today (blood flies from Vash still on the floor and Auska pulls out a ruler) Wow, he beat Shinji's old record Maya nodded her head…a bit to eagerly for Misato's taste. She must have practiced on the commander (SD can be herd spewing) "So just take these sensors and put them in his suit, please Maya…it would make me 'very' happy," Ritsuko added while squeezing Maya's shoulders ever so slightly. Boing! Hentai With sensors in hand, Maya turned to the door, "I'll do it, but why don't you do it?" (as Ritsuko) Because I haven't finished showing the major the 'Tongue Twister' yet (SD thinks about this for a moment before getting a dreamy look on his face) Man I've missed this Misato taking the initiative, "We have to finish work here first, you understand." 'No I don't, but if it scores some points with Akagi-sempai maybe I can ask for a week off!' Maya reasoned and fled to the pilots changing area to insert the sensors. Yeah, _score_ some points (head in hands) God why did I agree to watch this Once out of earshot, "Why did you have her do it?" 'Need Shinji's measurements,' she though. Ritsuko's smirk reappearing, "She looks close enough to a boy to get into the locker room unsuspected." Wait…why does she need Shinji's measurements? Probably so she can make the game more real Well then all she has to do is compare with a toothpick, that's pretty accurate And you know this how? ….Ah shiest! "And what about the shoulder grab?" Misato countered. "It worked, didn't it?" "You taking evil lessons from the Commander or something?" (all shiver) To which the fake blond only laughed. (SD goes stiff) I think my blood just went cold…seriously I think it turned to ice ----------------------- Asuka wasn't having a good time. After learning of Shinji's visit with Kensuke and the discovery of the trip to the woods, she had a long trek in front of her. 'What are they doing out in the woods alone like this?' (once again bump n grind starts to play) SD! It wasn't me! 'How will I kill him if he's doing something…different?' She stopped in her tracks after that thought, "Not that there is anything wrong with that." Yes there is! Well at least for guys ::WHAM:: ::WHAM:: She then began her search again noticing the sun beginning to set, 'I've lost the whole day over this!' "FREEZE INTRUDER!" a male voice shouted from behind. To emphasize his point he placed a gun barrel to the back of her head. I hope Kensuke and his "friends" already wrote their wills A multitude of thoughts raced through her head, anger, hate, fear, panic and she summed them up with one word, "Shit." It's a very versatile word The mysterious gun toting man lead the upset 2nd child to an unknown fate. 'It's all Shinji's fault! If he didn't have me worried I'd have seen it coming!' ------------------------ Touji wasn't used to phone calls, Touji also wasn't used to talking to members of the opposite sex, even though he claimed otherwise, and Touji was a wreck when it came to talking to Hikari. So when she called him he was totally off his game. Touji…has game?….BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! "Wa…what you need class-rep?" he eloquently asked over the phone. "Are we in school?" Hikari asked with sharpness in her voice. (as Touji) Is that a trick question? "Well no…" "So call me Hikari. I have to act so damn proper in school; when I'm out I want to be treated normally," her voice rising all the time. (holding hands over ears) I hear in Japan they actually train woman to talk as high pitched as possible No wonder they are all deaf Completely shocked by the change in personality, "Damn Hikari calm down; now what did you need?" Hot passionate love! That would cure many of the worlds problems Hikari thanked Kami-sama that Touji couldn't see the massive blush on her face, which her outburst caused. "I have a question about…Shinji-kun." 'Shinji! I thought he liked Ayanami or the devil…he's after MY girl?' despite the feeling of betrayal, "What did you need…to know?" Despite his faults, and there are many, I will give him that one, Hikari is a babe You think she's a babe? Yeah she's cute, she's more or less the epitome of "school girl", that and she's just so Kawaii ^-^ "Is…is he…you know…different, not that anything is wrong with that?" she gushed into the phone. Now Touji isn't the smartest man but Congratulations Zentroide on winning the understatement of the year award! …but…never mind, well he didn't catch that hint, "Is he what?" "You know…playing on the wrong side?" her blush increasing to blush-factor-5. Ten thousand yen says he thinks she's talking about sports You're on, he can't be that dumb 'She must mean about the baseball team were making for phys Ed,' the jock reasoned. "Oh that, yeah he is, I wanted him on my team but Kensuke had to get him first…Hikari…Hikari you there?" Pay up sucker I don't believe it, he really is THAT dumb 'He…Touji wanted…all three of them?!' the phone falling from her hand. Hikari mindlessly put the phone back on the receiver. "I have to talk to Shinji-kun…Touji is mine, he can't have him…even though nothing is wrong with it." Hikari gathered her self up, and ran into the now darkening night. There's just something really wrong with having your man taken by another man ------------------------ "Leader, I caught a spy!" the boy announced as he reached camp. (as Kensuke) Good, now everyone lets celebrate by playing a game of grab ass (Tifa, Auska and Vash look at SD confused, Souske tries to hide in his seat and Lauren giggles) Grab ass? Very popular game in some circles, basically everyone runs around grabbing each others asses (Gomen!) (everyone looks at Souske who is blushing) Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww The leader approached the boy and declared, " I told you they were after us, we must prepare for the worst. To the interrogation hut!" Asuka immediately recognized the voice, "Kensuke you let me go right now, and where is Shinji!" He's probably practicing his knots Three paint ball guns being pointed at her face followed her outburst. "You now this spy?" boy B inquired. Kensuke deflated and responded, "Let her go…she's not a spy." (as Kensuke) She's a demon! Her hands unbound Asuka grabbed the boy that lead her and flipped him to the ground she hollered in satisfaction, " Now were is Shinji?" Maybe I shouldn't have taught her Ninjutsu "How the hell should I know, he's not in the club." Not in the mood to really listen, "Then why did you dad say he was with you!" Each word being followed by a step closer to the camouflaged boy. A look at the still dazed boy on the ground caused fear to creep into him. The look in her eyes told him to answer and answer fast, "He had computer trouble, I helped him." (everyone looks at Auska) What? When I ask a question I expect an answer immediately The words sunk into her head like a lance of Longinus through an AT Field, "You got to be kidding me, Baka's got a computer now and needed help…that's it you two aren't gay lovers…not that anything is wrong with that." Yes there is damnit there's everything in the world wrong with it!(starts chanting) no yaoi no yaoi no yaoi no yaoi… What's up with him? Most of the fics of his favorite anime of FF.net are yaoi "Gay, far from it, not that anything is wrong with that," Kensuke added still while backing away. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! (starts running around the theater like a madman until both Auska and Tifa mallet him at the same time, coincidentally he ends up back in his seat) Ah, thanks guys I needed that Anytime! Cracking her knuckles, "Good…good." What followed was Asuka letting off steam and aggression on the Tokyo-3 Guerilla warfare club. The club members learning new meanings of the word pain as they tried…all be it pointlessly…to stop her. (with a laptop) Kensuke Aida, Age 14, cause of death "Wrath of Demon" What are you doing? Well somebody's gotta make arrangements at the cemetery ---------------------- Shinji's eyes were glued to his monitor and his breathing coming out in gasps, he was in the zone. "The movies or the theme park…" Oh no not 'the zone'! "The Zone"? When gamers get so involved in the game they are playing they think that they are actually there, also happens when watching anime and writing (everyone looks straight at the screen) WHAT? I SWEAR I'M NOT IN "THE ZONE" "I'd say the theme park, best fits the mood," the virtual Idol Minato offered. Cheater! "I guess…" before the mouse was clicked Shinji felt a disturbance in the force… (SD goes silent for a moment almost as if looking for something far away) I feel a disturbance ELSWHERE Chi! Chi wins again Chi! Yes, Section-2? I need an extraction, yes it is in recreational room 3 BACK IN THEATER (SD's eye begins twitching uncontrollably) I'm not sure who but somebody is gonna get hurt later (everyone backs away) KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK. "Shinji-kun open the door I know your home!!" Looking at Minato's face on his screen, "Safety measure three please." Minato saved the games progress, encrypted the hard drive, and password locked all operating functions. Psht, only a AA class encryption, easy Why would you want to get into that baka's computer anyways? I want Minato why else? 'Can never be to careful in this house,' were his thoughts as he opened the front door and stared into the eyes of one Hikari Hokari. (the first two seconds of bump and grind play but are stopped by a blue ball of energy smashing into the speaker) (smoking finger) I told you it wasn't me "A..Asuka's not her Hikari. I haven't seen her all day." Shinji stammered as he saw the malevolence in the girl's eyes. She can be scary when she wants to be No Vash all woman can be scary when they want to be (they turn to Auska and Tifa who are smiling innocently) "He's mine Shinji, you can't have him!" each word spoken with such pent up feeling that even Shinji understood what she meant. How dare you Zentroide you're breaking continuity! Hoping to diffuse Hikari's odd demands, "I don't…want him?" Hikari began to lose confidence in her accusation, "You don't, but Touji said he wanted you on his team…that Kensuke got you first!" If Touji _really_ wanted him he'd get him Shinji joining Hikari in the wonderful world of confusion, "Baseball, this is about baseball?" And once again we have unconditional proof that man can be denser than lead "No, it's about you dating my boyfriend! What about Asuka, why don't you act normal and date her! Not that anything is wrong with you…" I beg to differ "Oh Kami-sama no! You think I'm…Hikari come in we need to talk." Shinji lead the fuming but confused Hokari girl into the kitchen and made her some tea. Damn I didn't think Shinji had it in him Had what in him? Well how would you prove to a girl that you weren't gay (Tifa goes to speak but stops and blushes) The next half hour was spent with Shinji clearing up her confusion about the CD, though he didn't mention what he really got, and reassuring her that he had no plans to 'steal' Touji from her. Hikari calmed down a great extent, which got Shinji to thinking, 'why don't I try some of the stuff I learned from that game?' That's two Zentroide! Shinji never has and never will have a spine while conscious! "Want to watch some TV since you're here?" he asked with an air of confidence that Hikari thought the boy lacked completely. Blushing softly, "S…sure, it's not that late yet." He led the girl to the couch and sat by her. The TV. was on but neither were watching it, both of them were talking to each other, honestly just talking. You're crossing your fingers aren't you Zentroide? An hour of talk later Shinji can actually talk for an hour without running away? "I better be going Shinji, my father will be upset if I'm much later," she said with a smile. Did she have tea or milk? Tea, why? Yeah go Shinji! ::WHAM:: ::WHAM:: ::TWHACK:: ::THUD:: Stop being more perverted than the fic! The air of confidence still present, "That's ok, come over again some time, we don't get to talk enough." Hikari excused herself and went home with a new picture of Shinji in her head, 'Asuka you lucky bitch!' (eye twitching) She…called…me…a…what?! (holding Auska back) Auska, fic, calm down! 'That stuff really works! I can't wait till school on Monday!' Shinji thought as he returned to the sanctity of his room. Finally Shinji gonna get his well deserved play Minato noticed and released the safety protocol. "Nice talk?" "Yeah, mostly thanks to you and this game!" he added with a slight skip in his step as he moved to his chair. And people say games don't teach you anything Explain Well for one Shinji finally got some play, from Hikari no less, secondly I bet he's a lot better a typing one handed now (all spewing) "I'm pleased to be of service, Shinji-sama. You really did need the help." The AI stated as the save state was recalled and Shinji began his excursion into game land again. Sama?…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ------------------------ In her apartment Ayanami Rei opened her cup of instant ramen and began to eat. The sounds of construction suddenly stopped. Rei looked around the room in confusion for a few moments. Then ever so slowly she pushed the play button on the hidden CD player and the 'sounds of construction' CD began to play again. "That is satisfactory." I knew it she is mental Well actually certain sounds affect the human brain differently, some sounds cause anger while others are soothing to the listener So what sounds are soothing to you? (SD pulls out a data disc and hands it to Vash) Cannon D-Dur, Air, Partita III fur Violin Solo, Metallica? ----------------------- Midnight…a sleeping city. A city rudely awoken as a screaming Red head made her way back home. Three pickpockets, a mime, and a really odd looking man had the audacity to approach are fair damsel as she walked. The bodies have still yet to be found. (all eye Auska nervously) "When I see him…I'll give him a piece of my mind!" she screeched to nobody in particular but images of giving him a piece of her fist and foot were more likely. Looks like a piece of something but I'm not…is that a leg? She entered the still apartment and proceeded to the kitchen to wolf down something, anything. Her day of stalking…searching left little time for food. After eating both hers and Misato's share of supper and drinking all the remaining tea she noticed the light on the answering machine was flashing. Hoping it was a call from Nerv saying she could have her own place she hit the button, she was greeted by Misato's cheerful voice, (as Misato recording) Getting drunk, gonna screw Kaji, have fun So you finally realize that Kaji is out of your league huh? Yup (throws arm around Auska) Good cause ya know I'm single ::WHAM:: There's a reason for that you know "Not coming home tonight, busy busy. Asuka don't cause property damage, Shinji don't strain your eyesight with that game you bought. Have fun kids." "Game…pc…eyesight…' Asuka was now doing mental math and the sum was… "HENTAI!" To be fair though, with Asuka, Shinji + 'almost anything' = hentai. No actually it's more like: Entire male species + Almost anything = Hentai Asuka ran to his door so fast, one could have sworn they saw time bend. She yanked on the handle and promptly lost balance and pitched over. "What is this door doing locked!" Ok the door is made of rice paper, the equivalent of a dragonflies wings, all you have to do is reach through the door and unlock it Not getting a response he put her ear to the door. And she is treated to sounds similar to when Lauren first joined us (A\N One of my earlier MST's, ask me if you want it, may explain a few things ^-^) She picked up a female voice asking, "How about this dress?" "It's a bit…reveling isn't it?" a voice she assumed was Shinji responded. "That's why we use it!" Damn straight! Wow Souske, didn't know you had it in you Much like the desire to shop buried in all woman, the appeal of a nice dress (ahem, revealing, sexy, ect ect) is buried in all men "I guess…you'd know best." Touji would defiantly agree "How about I try it on now" followed by a bout of giggles. No…no it couldn't be…could it? (looks at SD who nods) 'He brought a girl into his room! And and…she's dressing in front of him!' Asuka felt something in her eye…something wet…something that shouldn't be there. "Damn dust," she said while wiping the tear from her eye and walking to her room…'damn baka.' Wow now that's truly amazing, he went from funny to sad and depressed in the space of one line, very nice In Baka's…Shinji's room. Damn now I'm getting depressed "I'm going to turn in for tonight Minato, thanks again." "Anything for my registered Master, he he he, just promise not to have any…odd dreams ok?" Minato chided. How could you not with an uber Kawaii Minato next to you? "Your worse than a real person sometimes." he said with a smile as he climbed into bed, 'This will help me so much on Monday, and I still have time to finish it tomorrow!' Sleep came to him easily that night, while on the other side of the hall Asuka sat thinking, 'I'll make him talk to me tomorrow…I mean is he…not that anything is wrong with it…or is he a pervert…or…why do I care?' (sarcastic) Gee, I wonder why End chapter Time for the last bout of questions! Why does Asuka care? She's Auska, you think even Sigmund Freud (spelling?) could figure her out? What did Ritsuko mean? Heh…heh Why the sensors? Umm, toothpick anyone? What the hell will Misato and Ritsuko unleash? Something that will benefit all of mankind What is Rei's purpose in this fic? Heh…heh Will Touji kill Shinji? Maybe Is Shinji a player now? Yes, finally Is Hikari interested in Shinji? Better not, she's mine! What is the game? Heh Is Minato going to short circuit again? If she drinks enough cyber beer WILL I CALM DOWN!!!?? NO! All this and more in the exciting conclusion coming soon to a fanfiction page near you! ---------------------------- Well, same errors as always grammar and spelling but not as bad I do have a game in mind, some of you may know of it, then again maybe not Hope some of the scenes didn't feel rushed, not my intent I think I've strayed a bit from the comedy but its still there. I am not Asuka bashing with her attitude. I am not Rei bashing with her doing nothing I am not…no wait I am writing this :) This is a comedy fic so don't look for depth…and with me even my drama doesn't have depth :) Comments, requests, idea's Zentrodie(zentrodie@secondimpact.com) INT: LOUNGE Well that was fun, Shinji actually grew a spine Really? It's very hard to see but yes you did So do we know what the game is yet? (looks at Auska) Almost So now what? Well I'm off to cause more mayhem and destruction and find Chi, I miss her Ok then have fun, try and not destroy the building while you're at it (holding package he received earlier) Oh I wont, trust me (everyone else shivers) Good lord that took a long time to write, it was like all of my ideas just got flushed and I had to start all over again, but it's finished, one more to go! I would like to thank Zentroide for not only allowing me to MST his fic but also for the encouragement, thanks bro!