Special Disclaimer!

This mst is a Zentrodie Special!

It’s was done for one of my pre-readers and I hope ya’ll like it :)

I don’t own anything remotely close to Evangelion rights, nor the rights to the original story (I tried to get your approval for this but couldn’t reach you, sorry if you are offended I will remove it from public display)

Hope it’s good and hope for some feedback.

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Rei II: I don’t see how this is necessary?

Misato: It’s your birthday, we have to celebrate!

Ritsuko: More like you just wanted another excuse for a party.

Misato: It was nice timing wasn’t it?

Rei III: Where is Shinji-kun?

Asuka: This is a girls’ only party, he won’t be here.

Rei II: Is that why Hikari-kun is in the kitchen?

Misato: Somebody has to cook, and Shinji…isn’t here.

Ritsuko simply raises an eyebrow: Why do I feel like you’re hiding something?

Misato walks with Ritsuko into her room: That’s because I am!

Shinji: Misato-san…isn’t this a bit much?

Ritsuko: Wow…that’s a big box.

Misato: Doesn’t Shinji-kun look darling in speedos?

Shinji blushing: Why did I agree to this?

Misato: Because you spent all your money at the movies and wanted to get Rei a gift.

Ritsuko: You mean…?

Misato: Technically the gift is just his presence.

Ritsuko nods: Anything else is…

Shinji just climbs into the box and prays his mother will come to save him.

Ritsuko: Maya should be here in an hour or so…we better go back out there and make sure they don’t suspect anything.

Misato: Now you be good in that box Shinji-kun, and stay quiet.

Shinji with tears streaming: ‘Now I know how Pen-Pen feels in his fridge.’

-Back in the living room-

Rei III: Why do I have to be here when I could be with Shinji?

Asuka: Um…well ‘Kami-sama this isn’t getting easier’ instead of saying you were just born a month ago…you’ll be sharing Rei II’s birth day.

Rei II/Rei III: NOT FAIR! ‘still monotone but in surround sound.’

Hikari drops her drink as the Rei’s talk in normal tone: Scary.

Misato: How’s the cake coming?

Ritsuko: ‘Cake?’

Rei II: I never had sweets.

Rei III: You had all this time and didn’t…you were spoiled.

Asuka whispers to Hikari: If they keep this up…I’m going to freak out.

Hikari: We’ll just have to get used to the two of them…but ‘out loud’ um…Rei III would you like to learn a bit of cooking?

Rei III: It would be beneficial.

Hikari drags Rei III into the kitchen and shows her the finer…well at least a few arts of cooking.

Ritsuko closing her cell phone: Looks like Maya’s car died, I’m going to pick her up, be back soon.

Misato: Well…looks like I can give you my present now to pass some time.

Rei II: Present?

Asuka: You never had a birthday before?

Rei II: Commander didn’t think it was important.

Misato: Damn…that’s one cold hearted bastard.

Rei II: So I get possessions?

Asuka: Yeah, usually you tell people what to get ya but you just need EVERYTHING!

Misato tosses Rei II a box: Enjoy.

Rei II: Thank you for the colored box.

Asuka: Think back to Christmas…something is in the box.

Rei II nods in understanding and proceeds to shred the paper into tiny tiny squares: It is a movie collection.

Asuka groans: You didn’t give her something indecent did you!

Misato: ‘Not yet, he’s still in my room.’ Only indecent if you think it is, put the first one in. Give us something to do to pass time until we eat.

Rei II puts the first movie in: I still fail to realize why Shinji-kun had to leave.

Asuka: That baka…he’d be doing something stupid anyway, ‘and he needs time off…looks like he’s going to have a heart attack.’

(begin MST, look for >>>)

RAMEN

previously submitted as THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Produced May 98

an Evangelion fanfic

with Ranma 1/2 elements by EeL (TOH Ee Loong)

>>>Rei II: The name sounds familiar.

>>>Asuka: Probably just some perverted guy.

>>>Rei II: I feel female feelings. (Megumi did both Rei and Ramna-chan :) )

Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by the people at GAINAX.

English translation rights and distribution in the UK belong

to ADVision.

>>>Misato: Credits are so boring.

>>>Asuka: UK! I hate the English!

>>>Rei II: Is that because their country defeated yours?

Ranma 1/2 is belongs to Rumiko Takahashi,

copyright Shounen Sunday and Shogakukan in Japan

and Viz Entertainment in North America and Western Europe.

Many thanks to Andrew Huang (Evanjellydonut rules!)

>>>Misato: Nerv branching into new markets?

>>>Asuka: Eva brand desserts?

for prereading

and saving me from a potentially huge mistake. What a difference

a word makes. This should not be taken as any form of endorsement

by the abovementioned and any errors, omissions and inadequecies

are, of course, the sole responsibility of the author.

>>>Rei II/Asuka/Misato: Of course.

>>>Asuka: Why do I get the feeling that, that Zen-baka idiot is to blame?

>>>Rei II: From what you told me of him, it is most likely.

>>>(It did say responsibility of the author…just not which he he he)

Background (SPOILER ALERT)

This assumes knowledge about the series up till at least

Episode 12 with the defeat of the Tenth Angel.

>>>Rei II: It’s whole purpose was just to fall…how sad.

>>>Misato: I felt like a baseball coach screaming ‘CATCH IT! CATCH IT!’

The author pays no attention to continuity or consistency.

Misato is treating Shinji, Asuka and Rei to a 'big meal' to keep her promise to them for pulling off yet another one of her ingenious but crazy plans.

>>>Asuka: Yeah…stand around and let it fall on you, brilliant.

>>>Rei II: I was lead to believe we were cheated out of our ‘big meal.’

Having defeated the (IMHO) most badly animated angel that I've seen in the series so far, the four have arrived at their 'five star restaurant'.

>>>Misato: Ramen is good for you.

>>>Rei II: I can cook ramen.

>>>Misato: You’re point?

>>>Asuka/Rei II: Any food we can cook isn’t worth going to buy.

[ ] square brackets indicate thought.

* WARNING/STANDARD PRODUCT DISCLAIMER *

This is technically not a lemon but has a strong lemonish tinge.

>>>Asuka: MISATO!

>>>Misato: Remember it’s only perverted if you think of it in a bad context.

>>>Rei II: You are devious major; I wish to thank you for the gift.

If you are easily offended or don't like deviations from the original series that messes with the characters, DON'T CONTINUE! You have been warned.

>>>Misato and Rei II look at Asuka.

>>>Asuka: WHAT?

>>>Rei II: They mean you, as you find most common items perverted.

---

Under a red paper latern reading 'Ramen'.

"We know how poor you are, Misato. This will be fine." Asuka declared in her imperial tone, arms akimbo.

>>>Rei II: You just have to strike things don’t you?

>>>Asuka: It makes me feel empowered.

"And since there's no meat, Wondergirl will be joining us."

"I'd like garlic noodles without roast pork," said Rei, in her usual quiet monotone.

>>>Misato: How is that different from just plain garlic noodles?

>>>Asuka: She just has to make a scene.

"Gimme shark's fin ramen and extra roast pork. Super-size it!" demanded Asuka.

"Here you go!" said the Chinese proprieter.

>>>Rei II: That would cause heartburn.

>>>Misato: Even I don’t eat that much.

>>>Asuka: What do you mean, that’s the appatizer.

As the three pilots and their Operations Director dug into their meal, Shinji felt he had something to share.

>>>Asuka: I just pray it’s not the ‘father’ thing again.

>>>Rei II: Shinji-kun would most likely die if his father ever shows him true emotion.

"Hey, Misato-san."

"Yeah?"

>>>Asuka: Wipe those noodles off your mouth…looks undignified.

"I finally understood, today, what was good about being praised.

And I also realized that... the reason I pilot my Eva is to hear those words from my father."

>>>Misato: Didn’t he say, “You didn’t screw up…surprising.”

>>>Asuka: That’s it.

>>>Rei II: Shinji-kun is easily pleased.

"That's why you're a pilot?" interjected Asuka. "You really are an idiot!"

>>>Rei II: They have your usual knack for generating pleasing words.

>>>Asuka: Shut up.

---

Back at the Katsuragi Apartment

Something was definitely wrong.

>>>Asuka: No locks on the doors?

>>>Rei II: The fact that a young male is forced to live with two…questionable women?

>>>Asuka/Misato: Questionable! What you’d rather he live in that dive with you?

Misato couldn't push him out of her head. She squirmed in her seat, her beer untouched.

>>>Rei II: She isn’t drinking?

>>>Asuka: RUN SHINJI RUN!

She had to do something - quick. She couldn't hold on for much longer.

>>>Rei II: You got this for yourself didn’t you?

>>>Misato: Not really…but I may have to buy it off you.

"Hey guys, I've some work to do at Headquarters. Don't stay up too late, alright?" Misato called to her two charges.

"I'll tell Asuka as soon as she finishes her bath. Erm... are you alright, Misato-san?" asked Shinji.

>>>Asuka: Good thing he doesn’t know ‘the look’ isn’t it?

>>>Rei II: At this moment yes, but when in my…our company it is a drawback.

>>>Misato: You mean you guys never…I could have sworn…Shinji-kun must have a HELLVA lot of strength to resist.

His guardian looked, well, unsettled.

>>>Asuka: One way of putting it.

Shinji noted the nodes of perspiration on her forehead. Her messed hair. Her efforts to control her breathing. Her heaving chest... Her heaving chest...

>>>Rei II: I feel inadequate again.

>>>Misato: Kami-sama blesses some with special traits.

>>>Asuka: Seduction is a ‘special trait.’

Shinji was startled out of his train of thought as Misato took a step towards him.

>>>Rei II: RESIST! ‘in as loud a voice as she could muster…she almost spoke louder than the tv!’

[Yes,he'lldo.He'scuteenough.He'sjustakid!It'llbuildhis

confidence.No.No.Hetrustsme.IcanstillmakeittoKaji's.Ohmigod.

What'shappeningtome?Ohmigod...]

>>>Misato: Odd how close that parallels real life.

>>>Asuka: WHAT ABOUT KAJI?

>>>Misato: That’s the wrong part. I don’t need Kaji.

>>>Misato: ‘It’s ok to share…right?’

"Misato-san? Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine. Gotta go."

Shinji started to pace around the living room, wringing his hands at his sides as the purple haired beauty dashed out of the door.

>>>Rei II: He was contemplating it as well?

>>>Asuka: And look who’s still home? Misato you do have good choice in gifts.

He hoped Asuka would be done soon. He needed a shower badly. A cold one.

[What was taking her so long?]

>>>Misato looks at her ward: You do take a long time in the shower…anything to say?

>>>Asuka: PERVERTS ALL OF You!

>>>Rei II: What are you implying…oh what Hokari-kun did in that movie?

>>>Asuka sweatdrops: You haven’t asked Shinji yet? ‘OH Kami-sama!’

>>>(See mst of “I used to Love her” for that question.)

He leafed through the newspapers, not really taking any of it in. Pen-pen was probably the best informed living being in this mad house he called home.

>>>Misato: He is rather intelligent.

>>>Asuka: Good at chess too.

"Shin-chaaan..."

>>>Shivers pass up Rei II’s spine.

The object of the call stiffened as Asuka's unmistakeable voice drifted into the living room.

>>>Misato: What part?

>>>Asuka: Knowing him do you have to ask?

>>>Misato: That’s a disappointment.

>>>Asuka/Rei II: At times.

He hoped she wasn't about to direct some merciless new taunt towards him - which was how Asuka tended to use that form of address.

"Asuka, I..."

>>>Asuka: Love me!

>>>Misato: Need to take a cold shower?

>>>Rei II: Find that tone of voice nauseating?

The young pilot's jaw dropped. The sight of his flatmate, wrapped in a red towel,

>>>Misato: What did I tell you about dying the towels Asuka!

leaning against the ante-bathroom door overwhelmed him. She...she was beautiful. Flawless fierce blue eyes.

>>>Asuka: I’m just a goddess, aren’t I?

>>>Rei II: Major, your gift is not appreciated.

Long chestnut hair. The figure of a nymph. She was also smiling at him like a cat that had cornered a mouse.

"You want to kiss me, Shinji?"

>>>Misato: Is that all you want from him?

>>>Asuka: At least I asked him first.

Short circuit. Overload. A10 nerve connection broken. Signal termination. The world has gone mad.

>>>Rei II: Or only the 2^nd child.

>>>Asuka: My beauty overwhelmed him.

Shinji found himself moving towards her, dimly aware but not in control. Quite like when his Eva went berserk against the Third Angel.

>>>Asuka wiping drool off speaking to herself: This is going to be good.

>>>Rei II: Yes, he will crush your skull cap.

They practically leapt into each other's arms.

>>>Misato: Ouch…

>>>Rei II: Is the human neck supposed to bend that way?

Lips met. Warm, moist, soft. Tongues clashed. Shinji's arms, locked around Asuka's waist, pulled her towards him.

>>>Asuka now in fantasy land: GO! GO! GO!

>>>Misato/Rei II: Somebody does need a cold shower.

She began to tug at his shirt as she pushed herself against him. The fire engulfing them was becoming unbearable.

And then the doorbell rang.

And rang. And rang. And rang.

>>>Rei II: Good, an interruption is needed.

>>>Misato: Shinji-kun is odd…she still has the towel on.

The two were rudely thrust back into the real world as an urgent banging on the door now joined the incessant ringing.

>>>Asuka: Is that a battering ram?

>>>Misato: The door is splintering.

Shinji and Asuka found that they had magically teleported a good two meters from each other in an instant.

>>>Rei II: Ashamed?

>>>Asuka: Damn…me never, he’s my lapdog.

>>>Rei II: I meant him.

>>>Asuka grinds her teeth seething: WHAT!

"Aren't you going to get it?" growled Asuka.

"Who...who is it?" ventured Shinji through the intercom.

"Ikari-kun... Please let me in," came the quiet yet tense reply.

>>>Misato: Now this is getting good.

>>>Rei II: I am in this too?

>>>Asuka: This is what our future is going to be like…isn’t it.

"Ayanami. Didn't you go home?" was all Shinji could muster, rather stupidly, as Rei stepped into the apartment.

>>>Asuka: Should ask to be let in, don’t you have any manners?

>>>Rei II: When something is needed, one must take it.

Rei's cheeks were flushed crimson against her pale skin. She was looking at her feet, both hands clasped in front of herself, fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

>>>Misato: Awww…Rei-chan you’re so Kawaii when you’re nervous.

>>>Rei II: Please don’t call me that.

"I..." was all the indigo haired girl could manage before she was interrupted by a Soryuu-Langley Furious Outburst.

"WHAT'S *SHE* DOING HERE!?"

>>>Misato: Looking to be part of a Shinji sandwich I presume.

>>>Rei II: With current developments, it would have to be a very thick sandwich.

Rei suddenly took Shinji's right hand and placed his palm against her chest, over her heart, her delicate hands keeping his in place.

"Ikari-kun, I want to become one with you."

>>>Asuka: Shinji would pass out right about then.

>>>Rei II: He touched more, and with less cloths on.

>>>Asuka: You still talking about that ‘fall.’

>>>Rei II: It was planned.

For the second time in the evening, Shinji's brain was fried by the input he was receiving and the accompanying hormonal surge.

"Ooooh no, you don't!" screamed Asuka. "He's mine! Mine! Mine! All mine!"

>>>Rei II: Overly possessive woman.

>>>Asuka: Toneless wonder!

>>>Misato: Girls, girls…remember sharing is good.

The two girls proceeded to engage in a tug of war. Rei in possession of Shinji's right arm, Asuka controlling the left.

"Why don't you just go home!? Give it up!" raged Asuka.

>>>Rei: It is Shinji-kun who needs to ‘give it up’ I believe.

>>>Asuka:…You actually said something somewhat correct!

Rei, resolutely and as calmly as always, held on.

"Let go, Wondergirl! You haven't got a prayer!"

"You realize that neither of us will get what we want if this continues."

>>>Misato: Shinji would…he looks like he wants to die right now.

>>>Asuka: I wonder about his libido sometimes.

>>>Misato: I think his father had that removed in childhood.

Rei's icy tone cut through the red haze in Asuka's head.

>>>Asuka: SHE CUT MY HAIR!

>>>Misato/Rei II:…

[Damned, I hate it when she's right.] Asuka was starting to twitch.

Twitch.

Twitch. Twitch.

"Okay! Alright! But I get to go first!"

"Deal."

>>>Misato: I never thought I’d see that!

>>>Rei II looks at Asuka, Asuka looks at Rei II, in unison: We have are plan.

"Don't I have a say?" whined Shinji as his brain finally came back online.

"No," returned the goddesses of Fire and Ice.

>>>Rei II: If we let him…

>>>Asuka: …Nothing would get accomplished.

>>>In a box in Misato’s room Shinji felt a great disturbance in the force…and >>>across town Mana Kurashima smiled wide and left her kendo practice >>>early…despite parental concern.

---

The Morning After

Misato breathed heavily as she leaned her head against the door to her apartment. Kaji had been very pleasantly surprised and they had re-lived some of the good ole days when they had been living together.

>>>Misato: I did NOT need to hear that.

>>>Rei II: What exactly did you and Kaji-kun do?

But when he tried to talk to her about their relationship this morning, she had been totally freaked out.

[What possessed me last night?]

>>>Rei II: Drugs?

>>>Asuka: Hormones?

She turned tail and ran, not wanting to let him press his case further. He was convincing. He was probably right. But she didn't want to think about it right now.

Misato lifted her forehead from the door as she heard a loud voice and sounds of impending violence coming from inside her home.

>>>Misato: The Asuka alarm.

>>>Asuka: What do you mean?

>>>Misato: You’re voice level…the louder you are the more stuff I have to replace.

"You-you!!! You PERVERT!!! HOW COULD YOU!?"

[That would be Asuka.]

>>>Rei II: You forced yourself on HIM.

"I...I'm sorry?"

[That was definitely her Shinji.]

>>>Asuka: We have to break him of that habit.

>>>Misato: Positive or negative incentive?

>>>Rei II smiling wickedly…which did nothing as nobody but Shinji can read her face at all…: Positive.

"Why are you so angry, Asuka? You seemed to enjoy yourself last night."

[Rei? What was she doing here? What was going on?]

>>>Misato: A big sweaty mess on my floor it appears.

>>>Rei II blushes: Misato…is it enjoyable?

>>>Misato: GAWH!…um…Rei…a-ask Shinji-kun ok?

Misato crept in as the apartment door slid open and scouted out the source of the commotion. It didn't take long to pinpoint it to the living room and to an amazing sight.

>>>Misato: It was clean?

>>>Asuka: Shinji finally did something?

>>>Misato: ‘I need to have a serious talk to him about pent up ‘drives.’

She saw Asuka's back. The German-Japanese girl was clasping a red towel around her otherwise un-clad figure. Her free hand was raised in a fist.

>>>Rei II: She never took the towel off?

>>>Asuka: Seeing me nude would cause him to pass out.

"It's a conspiracy! Ganging up on me! You two idiots deserve each other!!!" screeched a furious Asuka at Shinji and Rei.

>>>Rei II: I agree completely, you may remove you name from the list.

>>>Asuka: WHAT…no…I meant…

The aforementioned pair were sitting up in a futon that had been laid on the living room floor.

>>>Asuka: How that thing get out there?

>>>Misato: Shinji-kun must have been concerned about hurting you two.

Shinji was cowering from Asuka's onslaught, his attempt to raise the blanket mainly for the benefit of Rei's modesty. Rei, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned.

>>>Misato: Rei…don’t walk around nude, please.

>>>Rei II: But if we had relations as implied, she has seen me nude, I her…and both of us have seen Shinji-kun.

>>>Asuka again drooling slightly: Why…would I want to see him…like that…

She had an arm around Shinji's shoulder, another around his chest and her head resting against his shoulder. She even had a small blissful smile on her face.

"Does that mean I can have Shinji-kun to myself?" Rei proposed, almost cutely.

>>>Misato: I need booze…and I need it now! That just can’t happen!

>>>Asuka: How can you summon that much emotion at one time?

Asuka began to tear at her hair as she screamed in complete frustration.

(Zoom into her mouth.

Good view of her tonsils.

Then pan to outside the apartment block.

The screaming is still audible.

Zoom out to take a view of the whole of Tokyo-3.

More, yes, more. Ok.

Gradually fade out the screaming as we were zooming out.

Rapidly re-focus on the ramen shop from the night before.)

>>>Rei II removed her hands from her ears: That was unkind.

>>>Misato: Bet the neighbors complained last night because of your screaming Asuka ‘smirking.’

>>>Now it’s Asuka’s turn to blush: I…would…never…well fine, soundproof the apartment then.

Meanwhile in Shin-Nerima District of Tokyo-3, Nekohaten Ramen Stall

"AIYAH! Where blind stupid Mousse put special delayed-action passion spice!?"

>>>All: Wha tha?

:)

The End

---

My first fanfic. Please tread kindly.

And yes, I know about Rei.

Comments and criticism PLEASE!

(email: toheel@singnet.com.sg)

(end MST)

Rei III: Cooking is illogical! A pinch, a dash…those are not units of scientific measurements.

Hikari: I know that but that’s how you cook!

Rei III: It is illogical, Shinji-kun will need to perform that task.

Rei II: Stop your incessant whining.

Rei III: Make me!

The Rei’s begin to At-field each other into walls.

Misato: OH MY KAMI-SAMA!

Asuka: They do this a lot…they really are almost the same.

Hikari: Rei III seems a bit more emotional though.

A knock on the door is heard.

Misato: Great now what. ‘answers door while Rei II lunges at Rei III’

Rei II: You do not have bigger breasts than me!

At the door, Mana: Hello…I come at a bad time?

Rei III: You call that field manipulation! No wonder Shinji-kun didn’t take much notice in you!

Asuka/Hikari: At least she shows more emotion now…

----------------------------------------------------------------

mst author notes.

Why have the Rei’s fight…think of what you would do if you had an almost exact copy of yourself…I think you’d fight…a lot. I maybe wrong but it is my story so I can use a lil bit of artistic license…its all in good fun so don’t look to deeply into it ok?

I think this story deserved a mst based on merit alone, it is a good fic.

Hope you liked it and will read the other 3 chapters…remember I love hearing what you think of it…even if its just ‘it was an ok story’ so PLEASE email me and tell me what ya thought of it

Zentrodie (zentrodie@secondimpact.com)