| roommates liszt-muss ludwell berlioz-borodin chandler mozart-schubert chandler wagner-mahler? ludwell rott-wolf ludwell brahms-jojo chandler tchaik-bruckner jefferson beethoven-schoenberg OD mend-chopin jefferson prok-shosty ? schütz-froberger (das haus) verdi-dvorak dupont copland-barber dupont suitemates sand-dagoult landrum cosima-alma landrum |
| -liszt will have marie spying on cosima -frei aber einsam, frei aber froh -berlioz-harriet must date and not work out -bring in hanslick on flat hat, brahms-wagner war; bruckner gets appropriated by wagnerians.. symphonies? jets and sharks! street gangs.. lol : brahms-jojo-hanslick-buelow-dvorak vs wagner-liszt-mahler-bruckner-rott mahler-alma -mozart new pres of das haus?? -handel returns from england for fall break to have final drinking showdown with muss -bach IMing mozart(npres) with ideas -schoenberg betrayed by mathilde and gerstl - goes into atonal music -schoenberg wins following with berg, webern -tchaik and natasha -tchaik and patroness from kotek -a one max bruch writes violin concerto for jojo -jojo = bad composer, but finds amalie -simrock? -bruckner as catholic -bruckner girl problems - tchaik not sympathetic -mozart in 7 club (mason) gets in trouble, as usual -brahms uses newspaper connections to place an add for well built males for mozart... -schubert still ambiguous, but muss out of closet?? -the five with the girls -verdi-dvorak suitemate battle vs barber-copland -verdi's name gets appropriated for a political uprising -beethoven -girls - IMMORTAL BELOVED must be done -beethoven being beethoven, symph -more sand bossing chopin around -mendelssohn finds girlfriend, smarter seeming -wagner jewish -flashback to schumann standing up to liszt re mend.. clara will tell on IM -barber-copland gay?? rach drinking scene -mozart weber's cousin constanza |
| what summer? liszt and wagner bummeling through forest in europe brahms womens choir jojo violined mozart kicked out of job bach tchaik visit kotek beethoven moved residences 3 times borodin, chem reserach berlioz vacationed in italy |
| Orientation Day 1 Dupont: new students are moving in for orientation week. A young pug faced, black haired fellow with a goatee-mustache is hauling a huge suitcase up the stairs. he gets to the second floor and looks around bewildered. YoungMan: (TheAuthor is tempted to burst out into the YMCA song, but restrains herself admirably) ..... Dupont 2nd east a 214?? where? (A giggly girl comes bouncing out of a room across the hall from him. she seems surprised that hes there.) Girl: oh, HI YM: hi.. can you tell me where...D2E214 is? Girl: no idea! (giggles, runs off) YM: ok.. hm.. (looks around, sees an older looking student and assumes her to be an RA) Excuse me! Girl: hm? YM do you know where D2E214 is? Girl: I dont work here. I'm helping my sister move in.. YM oh.. sorry.. (is about to pick a direction and start walking when he hears the sounds of hard labor, as in someone dragging a heavy suitcase up the stairs, behind him. He turns around and sees another young fellow with a black goatee-beard about to fall over backwards) YoungFellow: AGH! hell- YM: Ah! (grabs his hand and pulls him up the stairs in time; the suitcase too) YF: youre strong, whew! YM: all ok? youre on the girls half of the hall. i just discovered this myself. glad im not the only one lost around here. YF: Oh.. I'm looking for D2E214 YM: Hah! me too! Hey - you must be my roommate then! YF: coincidence I already owe you!! so youre Antonin Dvorak then?! YM(shakes his hand): Mr. Giuseppi Verdi, I presume? (they chuckle) Verdi: Good then - hey, one of the guide people in a yellow shirt! lets get her! (they both run, as fast as they can with their luggage, after the Orientation Aid) |
| Orientation day 1 RA: ok kids, I'm your RA but as youve all probably noticed, you also have a special Orientation Aid. Dvorak: whatcha eating, Giuseppi? Verdi(unwraps noisily a small candy) Italian candy. try one (passes one over) RA: Now dont be fooled by his stern bearing, he really has a heart of gold, I've known him since we ... Dvorak: Mmm! good.. what is this? vanilla...? Verdi: I think theres a hint of amaretto in there.. Dvorak: no.. in a candy? RA: his name.... Verdi: ITALIAN candy, anything is possible OA: YOU TWO IN THE BACK! Dvorak and Verdi look up to see a tall glaring young man in yellow shirt. His nametag says 'Orientation Aid' Verdi: Yes? OA: Are you talking during my introduction....? Dvorak: ... we weren really talking OA: Were you trying to communicate surreptitiously while you were supposed to be contemplating my announcement?! (some of the other students snicker) OA: SILENCE! (cowerig) Verdi: We humbly beg you apology and will never insult you again.. OA: That's what I thought! Get down and give me twenty, each of you!! Dvorak and Verdi exchange worried glances, but comply. OA: AND SPIT OUT THAT CANDY; ITS BAD FOR YOUR TEETH! |
| Later that evening atthe social. Verdi: uh.. what did you say your name was again? OA: You can call me SIR! Verdi: .. yes SIR! OA: Now get back in circle! I hate mixers.. why cant other people take care of their own cattle? trying to reap the benefits of my stern discipline....(suddenly a ratty looking fellow walks up - he seems older than the average freshman) RattyGuy: Excuse me, young man OA(dangerous voice): did you just call me... 'young man'? RattyMan(not phased at all): Of course. You are not an old man. OA. You can call me SIR. RattyMan: Absolutely not. I'm a senior as well as you, and probably older, as I was born in September. A transfer, you see. OA(furious): AND whom might you be? State your name and case!!! RM: My name... is Eduard Hanslick. Now to my case: How is your school newspaper? How would you rate the quality of its writing? How easy is it for one to join its ranks? Your comment that 'the Flathat gets published every Friday' was not one I found to be particularly enlightening. Dvorak(whispers to Verdi) I like this guy, and hes a senior! Verdi: hehe.. OA: (livid at Hanslick's seeming inability to be ruffled) You can take your case and ask someone who worries about such petty things as the school newspaper.. Hanslick: If youre insinuating that the newspaper is subpar here, then know that I intend fully to raise its standards. I shall continue my inquiry elsewhere. (walks away; the OA is stunned, Dvorak and Verdi snicker; TheAuthors Note: I had vaguely recalled Hanslick being born in the fall, and when I went to look it up, I found it was sept 11!! I was not about to go throwing that in the dialogue, but you might find it easy to remember) |
| Liszt and Wagner are strolling lazily along the main brick sidewalk outside of washington. Wagner: I have had the good fortune not to run into Minna yet. The poor girl - I think seeing me so soon after our break up might be psychologically damaging for her. Liszt: I know if you were to break up with Cosima, it would be psychologically damaging to her..(he adds darkly) and physically damaging to you... Wagner: heh heh - now, my dear friend, all summer you didn't mention it.. Liszt: That's why I'm mentioning it now. I've been with you all summer, watching.... Wagner: I do believe this long term relationship with Marie has instilled some sort of ancient chivalrous Weltanschauung in you, dear Franz... Liszt: LONG TERM relationships ..are a lot better than petty, flighty affairs - I hope you are of this opinion as well, Richard? Wagner: (looking down the pathway) Ah, speaking of petty flighty affairs, here comes that scoundrel Brahms. You know I never had the pleasure of speaking to him after he seduced poor innocent Mathilde last semester... Liszt(cheerfully): and he's got Joachim with him. Good ,I need to talk to him. JOSEPH! (waves) (up ahead:) Brahms: ...you moved.. Joachim: damn it Brahms: now they're waving too Joachim: We're looking right at them, lets go... come on (when the four meet, Liszt engages Joachim in conversation, leaving Wagner and Brahms to watch each other warily) Liszt: Ah, Joseph, how was your summer? Joachim: fine.. thanks.. yours? Liszt: good.. good.. we travelled around Europe, nothing too exciting.... But I wanted to ask you if you could possibly be my concertmaster.. starting a little orchestra not under the control of any egomaniacal, tight-budgeted school forces, you see... Joachim': well.. Im a littly busy this semester... Wagner: So.. Mr Brahms.. if I didn't know better, I'd say you were looking reluctant to come speak with us.... Brahms: ...I'll take your word for it then, Mr. Wagner. Wagner(magnanimously ignores this): ...You know, I've not actually heard any of your compositions... Franz seems to have faith in them... Brahms(wide-eyed enough so as to seem completely earnest): ... but you know better. Wagner: well, I can't too easily judge, not having heard... Brahms: ..really? Liszt: Oh come on - you're the best violinist in the school! Joachim: no , no - you should ask Paganini! Liszt: oh, he's a show off, its ridiculous, really- Joachim(tries to stifle a guffaw, but winds up in a coughing fit to cover his lack of self control): o.. hem, yeah, yhea..excuse me Wagner: ... so, have you written anything new recently? Brahms: .. eh..I'm finishing a piano concerto.. Wagner: a concerto, how quaint.. some do enjoy the old forms still, I see.. But, hm.. weren't you working on that .. (pointedly) ..last semester? Brahms(attempting not to look embarrassed): ...yes.. Wagner: I see.... well, as the older and more experienced artist here, allow me to advise that perhaps you shouldn't let the women interefere with your composition process. Certainly, they are the Muse for us all, but juggling two or three affairs at one time requires skill and.. hm, may drain the creative energy from those less competent.... Brahms: .............(blinks)........ Liszt(sideways glance): So.. Joseph, have you been composing lately? Joachim: yeah, working on a concert overture actually Liszt: ah good! what's the subject? Joachim: hamlet Liszt: and I am thinking about a Dante symphony! how do you like that? Joachim: oh.. good topic.. sounds very ambitious... Liszt: you should let me see your overture sometime.. I'd like to see it, that is.. Joachim: ah, well I dont have it with me.. Brahms(has recovered): ah... hah... I wonder where you get your news, I have not been having any affairs, let alone two or three! Wagner: Come now, I must also advise you not to blend deviousness and obliviousness at the same time. Make up your mind which one it will be, a mix is rather contradictory and suggests lack of proper planning... Brahms: Ah.. right.. After all, you know far better than I about both deviousness and obliviousness... Wagner(sniffs indignantly): .. I suppose I do.. Joachim(realizes the conversation beside him will erupt in fists soon): ah well, I'll have to get back to you about the concertmaster deal, Franz.. Hannes and I have to meet a cellist in ewell.. gotta go! (grabs Brahms by the arm and pulls him off. pause between Wagner and Liszt as the other two get out of hearing range..) Liszt: .... well-- Wagner: Monster! (meanwhile as the other two are heading for Ewell) Brahms: Bastard! Wagner: Devious, sneaky insults covered by seeming gestures of obeisance! What nerve! Brahms: Insufferable - condescending -- insults me to my face as if he's Moses dispensing advice from the hilltops!! Wagner: Will not give even give me the dignity of admitting his ignominity! It's 'below' him--! Brahms: EGOMANIAC! Wagner: EGOMANIAC! -- God save me, and there's Minna! (dives into the bushes, Liszt dutifully kneels down and pretends to work very hard on tying his shoelaces.) |
| Orientation, Day 3. OA: NOW we will be going on a campus tour, so all of you freshmen can figure out where the buildings are sooner than the first day of class, ten minutes before your first class. We know better than to expect you'd have to sense to figure this out on your own. Back in MY day, however.... Verdi(has strayed to the back with Dvorak, now takes his arm): Come on, we're being rebellious. Dvorak: With THAT OA!? where are we going? Verdi: Anywhere but with him.. Dvorak: He'll know we're gone.. Verdi: we got lost, damn it, lets go (they disappear into the wooded area behind the Crim Dell. and make their way to Ewell, of course) Ewell: A rather young looking fellow with the odd pimple or two is lounging on one of the blue sofas in the lobby. He has his arms behind his head and is reclining, seeming to be perfectly relaxed, but he is staring at the ceiling with eyes that are too alert for him to be truly zoned out. All the same, he does not recognize the two newcomers. Dvorak: he's got the right idea here - (to sofa boy) relaxing, are you? Mozart: Composing, actually... Verdi: What, with no notebook? How do you remember what you're doing? Mozart: its in my head.. I dont have to write it down unless I want others to see it... which, unfortunately, happens quite a bit, and requires a lot of my time.. (more to himself) I should invest in some sort of dictation servant, shouldn't I? (Verdi and Dvorak exchange a glance that can only be interpreted as 'Can you believe this kid?') Dvorak: So... eh... what are you composing? Mozart: .....symphony.. Verdi: -IN YOUR HEAD? Mozart: ....' write everything else in my head.. Dvorak: -what about revisions? Mozart: No, I do the revisions in my head.. most of the time, that is.. I mean.. I could see in the case of an opera.. maybe I read something and then want a differnet interpretation of text or....(trails off as he is being answered with awkward silence from the two)... Dvorak(recovers first): so.. you write.. operas too? Mozart: a few thus far... this summer it was violin concertos.... wrote five of 'em, then I got sick of it.... never again... - why all this inquiry? (sits up and looks at them finally) You're new students. Verdi: yeah, freshmen... you're....? Mozart: sophomore. (again, confusion on part of Verdi and Dvorak, for Mozart is only 16 and looks it too; at least he thinks their confusion on this point is valid) well, I came early.. last year.. I was 15.. Dvorak: oh... music major? Mozart: yep. You two also? Verdi: I suppose.. Dvorak: planning on it.. Mozart: Shouldn't you be at Orientation, trying to make up a food name that starts with the first letter of your first names? Verdi: Giuseppi Gelatto, nice to meet you. (extends hand sarcastically; to his surprise Mozart hops up and shakes it) Mozart: Wolfgang Mozart Dvorak: Actually, I think our OA wanted us to make up Antonin Dvorak Mozart: heh - so you're skipping already, eh? Verdi: yes.. our OA thinks its boot camp! Mozart: You cant possibly know boot camp until you meet the fellow who was my friends' Yates RA last year.. Dvorak: Yates RA... did he have a problem with smoking? Mozart: Dont tell me he's your orientation aid... Verdi: he makes you do pushups.. Mozart: That's the one. Dont go back to Orientation. You can hide in our frat house. Dvorak: Youre in a frat too? Mozart: yes... and since many of our members graduated last year... we are looking to recruit some good fellows with a lack of respect for rules and RAs.... Verdi: Tell us more.. |
| Beethoven has made it back to school. he has previously dumped his bags on his sofa in ewell lobby and run off to class. Now he returns to claim his luggage, and more importantly, the sofa. When he arrives, he finds his bags in the corner, and young Mozart reclining on the sofa. Beethoven: mmm.... Hello Wolfgang, this is my sofa. (picks him up bodily and deposits him on the sofa in the corner) Mozart: WHat the!! ahze! stop! let me- OOF -Damn it, Ludwig Beethoven: I could have dropped you on the floor. Mozart: Or sent me a death threat via the Red Cross? Beethoven(in a grumble, as if this is something to grumble about): ..a good prankster does not repeat his pranks on the same person, or those who knew of the prank.... 'n this case.... never again.. Mozart: oh shut up.. rubbing it in.. you are incorrigible. worse than I am! (Beethoven notices a pamphlet on the table, picks it up..) Beethoven: mm.. what the hell is this? 'The Beautiful in Music' .. eduard hanslick? i dont know him.. Mozart: Nor I.. the pamphlet was interesting, though.. bound to irritate Richard Wagner beyond measure.. its worth having around just for that purpose.. Beethoven: hm.. (sits on sofa) whats it say? Mozart: read it yourself Beethoven: dont you owe me your eternal soul or something like that? Mozart: that doesnt have anything to do with me reading pamphlets to you as if you were an illiterate beggar. Beethoven(sighs, opens to page one).... mm....'a philosophical disquisition into an art demands a clear definition of its subject matter' .. why wouldn't Wagner like this? the guy's as pompous as HE is! Mozart: Keep reading.. (an hour later, we find Mozart and Beethoven embroiled in a serious discussion about the subject matter) Beethoven: You can control an audience to some extent, you can make them feel.. thats what the tonal system is all about, how do you think Wagner emotes in the first place? Mozart: thats because hes got the text plastered onto the music... which hinders the music, SO HANSLICK says.. I dont agree Beethoven: Absolute music - is that even possible? Mozart: of course not Beethoven: ... opera's out the window completely.. Mozart: I disagree with it.. but more importantly, Wagner will..(gleefully) He'll take it as a personal insult. Beethoven(also cracking a smile); I think I'll have to leave the pamphlet here... |
| Throughout the next week, we see our various composers coming in, picking up the pamphlet from its various places around Ewell, and reading it.. Schubert walks into the lobby, finds Beethoven snoring on one couch, Brahms sitting up on the other, reading the last page.. Schubert: ah, not you too? Brahms: hm? oh yeah.. Youve read it already? Schubert: its not good for those of us who enjoy poetry, is it? Brahms: I like lieder, but I'm not exactly a proponent of the 'total art work', if you know what i mean... Schubert: hah, no one is - given that its Wagner's brainchild.. Brahms: (closes pamphlet).. well... I'm waiting for the replies to start showing up.. Schubert: I'm staying out of it. Musical politics is not my deal. But what do you think? - 'Absolute Music?' Brahms(shrugs,then grins): ... it'll annoy the hell out of Wagner and Liszt.. Schubert(cant suppress a grin either): god, look at us.. like little kids, laughing about upsetting the authority figures or something.. Brahms: they are NOT the authorities on anything!.. .. except maybe womanizing... Schubert: hah, waste of time Brahms: Well, apparently its all right, as long as you have (makes quotation mark gestures) the skill to juggle two or three affairs and not let it drain your creative energy Schubert: What? Brahms: Or so Wagner told me himself. Schubert: To your face?! Brahms: ..m hm. Schubert: Maybe you become a proponet of this absolute music then - just to annoy him further.. Brahms: maybe the other Absolut Schubert: oh come on Brahms: .. well I'd be a hypocrite then..Ive got a piano concerto with a first mvt inspired by .. someone's suicide attempt.. and a second mvt inspired by his suffering girlfriend.. Schubert: well..but you still write concertos and use sonata form.. thats something in and of itself! Brahms: ....it's almost worth it anyway, isn't it? Schubert: heheh... I'm tempted to join ludwig, camping out on the sofas here just to see their expressions when they finally read it.. hopefully they haven't already. |
| Ludwell 406B: Modest Mussorgsky has 'unpacked', that is, he's dumped his suitcases on his bed, and has now resumed his usual position on the living room sofa, bottle of unlabelled alcoholic substance beside him. Enter an angry looking Wagner, with Liszt and Mahler trailing close behind. Mussorgsky: ah what the hell is this you already storming in here like the gestapo and classes havent even started yet! what are you possibly mad about this time!? Wagner: THIS, my dear Modest (throws the pamphlet into his lap with a disdainful flick of the wrist) Mussorgsky: am... 'beautiful in music'... hanslick.. what the hell is this Liszt: A guarded insult aimed at all of us who believe in PROGRESS Wagner: There's nothing "guarded" about it, my friend. I think its an open attack, a declaration of war is what it amounts to! Mahler: I'm amused at the pomposity of it all. He's actually more pompous than you, Richard. Wagner: EXCUSE ME. Mahler(grin): Well... Not that pomposity is something to be proud of.. Wagner: I should be MORE insulted in that case! Honestly, coming from my own roommate! Whom can we trust these days, my dear fri- Liszt: Dont you come falling upon my shoulder, Richard.. We obviously cant trust our best friends not to go dating our little sisters! Wagner: Oh stop, there's nothing wrong with that - wh? Mussorgsky(has thrown the pamphlet back at Wagner, hitting him upside the head): im too drunk to read that crap now tell me what it says Liszt: Glad to see some things never change, Modest.. Its about 'Absolute Music,' which is some sort of strange, theoretical blend of sonata form and notes that dont have to do with text. Music is beautiful when its not tied down in emotional bagage of a "program." Mussorgsky: christ im drunk alreaady ---THAT MAKES NO SENSE! Mahler: I think it has something to do about.. not trying to interpret feelings in music because everyone interprets the music differently? Liszt: Youre not drunk, Modest.. it simply makes no sense.. There can be no music DEVOID of emotion, or we'd all be sitting around writing counterpoint exercises and calling it great art! Wagner: Like Felix Mendelssohn... No depth! of course, what do we expect from a Jew? Liszt: oh stop that before the school hears you. You'll be kicked out in no time Wagner: this is not the THOUGHT POLICE - they cant control what I think or say - however, (rubs pamphlet on floor with foot) Rubbish like this should be banned. Mahler: always thinking outside the lines, Richard.. Mussorgsky: let me sleep damn it take your pamphlets elsewhere! Mahler(to Liszt quietly) Why did you want to room with him again this year? Liszt: .. we get along... really.. Wagner(still blustering): Well this needs to be answered, of course! what does a journalist know about music anyway!? |
| Alexander Borodin is moving into Chandler. Second floor. He runs up the stairs and pauses in the hallway. Borodin: ahhhh now this is better than dealing with all those frat boys.. Ah, I guess I'd better move in.. I wonder if Hector is here yet.. (turns around to go, finds himself staring down the stairs at Franz Schubert) Schubert: hi Alex... are you living here this year? Borodin: Chandler is the perfect dorm. Conveniently located for both music AND chemistry. Schubert: heh... well you seemed to spend more time at Rogers than Ewell last year... why didnt you just move into the chem library? Borodin: Half the time I was there is because I was just avoiding Handel and the rest of those.. wel... Schubert: understandable.. Try rooming with Ludwig van Beethoven Borodin: but he - he has a room? Schubert: yeah yeah, Ewell lobby Borodin: I didnt know you were roommates last year Schubert: Well, you were rather out of the loop. Pay more attention this year.. should be easier to begin with.. Wolfgang Mozart and I are apparently on your hall.. Borodin: MOZART! I thought I was avoiding Das Haus! Schubert(snickers): Hes a lot better than Beethoven! Berlioz(coming up stairs carrying two boxes with huge bag on back); ALEX! Franz! Are you on the hall again this year!? Schubert: yep, hi Hector Berlioz: excellent! four composers on the same hall. uh oh... uhhhh -- (the top box crashes down the stairs to the landing, contents spill; the other two go down to help him) Schubert: this is ok.? Berlioz: yeah.. I think, my packing methods are a little haphazard.. I dont even remember whats in there. Borodin: Let me get this straight, Hector... you knew he was rooming with MOZART and you didnt tell me? Berlioz: no, I just assumed it would be a musician.. (to schubert, amused) Mozart, really? Schubert: Could have been a poet, you know.. I hang out with them just as much.. the people in ewell are a little eccentric.. to say the least Borodin: So you go rooming with Mozart?! he#s the most eccentric one of all! Schubert: no.. I lived with Beethoven last year... ..is this a lava lamp, Hector? Berlioz: so it is, so it is.. unpacking is always an adventure! (they hear the doors below them open, then two exasperated voices as the people get closer) Joachim: What -so wait, you spend the whole summer with her then you decide not to date!!? Brahms: I told you, we weren't dating - Or. Anything. - in the first place, and it wouldn't have worked out anyway! was a mutual decision! Joachim: you were in love! she - (lowers voice a bit) I thought she felt the same way- Brahms: That's not the point, th- (they have reached the landing; the other three are watching them) Berlioz: hey... its Robert's young demons. How are you? Joachim: fine thanks, hector.. are you living here again? 2nd floor too? Berlioz: yes, and Alex is my roommate, and Franz is here also rooming with Mozart (the newcomers exchange a significant glance, which Schubert interprets immediately) Schubert: NO! -NO prank wars on my hall! Borodin: Amen to that! Berlioz: Good God, yes! Last time I got taped in my doorway! I was hanging there immobilized for hours! Schubert: I think it was about 15 minutes, Hector, but (turns back to Joachim and Brahms) yes, we three are all seniors (they hover together, trying to look scary)- the authority figures, and we intend not to turn this hall into a frat house! Brahms(innocent): who said anything about pranks? Schubert(puts hands on hips): ... I used to room with BEETHOVEN. I KNOW THAT LOOK! Brahms: We would never dare try to follow in the footsteps of the great Beethoven. (Joachim nods approvingly) Joachim: well, eh -we have to find the room and unpack - see you guys later! Others: bye! Schubert: that one's sneaky. Berlioz: yes, but Joseph cant keep a straight face Joachim(from down the hall) I HEARD THAT, HECTOR BERLIOZ! Schubert(sigh): There will be MUCH pranking, I'm afraid. Borodin: ah, so much for peace and quiet.. |
| Modest Mussorgsky gets to Ludwell 406B first, dumps his bags in his bedroom, hooks up the TV, puts a 6 pack of beer in the refrigerator, then sits down on the couch and resumes his normal routine with the 6 pack he has kept out. It is not long before Franz Liszt comes in, followed by Richard Wagner, Gustav Mahler, Hans Rott (who is looking more paranoid than ever this year), and Hugo Wolf. Liszt: ah, Modest, you are here already (looks around) glad to see you left the decorating to me.. Mussorgsky: yeah yeah welcome back kids Wagner: This is quite the spacious apartment. I wonder why I was stuck in Jefferson last year... Liszt: Ah yes, you nearly got bumped and wound up with Arnold Schönberg. Wagner:(pointedly to Liszt) exactly, my dear.. I wonder why I was stuck in Jefferson last year... Wolf: I thought it was clear that you two could not room together because bedroom time would always be a problem... Wagner(smiles with Liszt): Indeed, my young friend,.. I remember now.. Wolf: I learn from the best, what can I say? (adds) Hans and I dont have that problem.. (glance sideways at roommate Rott) Rott: youd better stop that sleeping around all the time.. you're going to catch syphilis and DIE one of these days! Wofl(snickers) Will that be before or after Brahms blows up the train station? Rott: SHUT UP! He had a bomb! I swear! Liszt(concerned to Wagner): he's never been quite the same since we sent him into Das Haus last December.... Wagner: Thats what prolonged exposure to Das Haus will do to those of lesser will, I fear. Rott(still going on, to Wolf) He probably has an entire explosives kit in his backpack! Wolf: we are going to have a fun year, Hans... Mussorgsky(to Wolf): yeah slong as you dont bring him in here! i donwant to hear all that mad ranting and raving all the time! Wolf(grinning to Rott): are you sure YOU didnt get hit upside the head with the lava lamp? Rott(covers ears with hands): I dont want to talk about it!! Mahler: stop that, you two... worse than a little old married couple.. Wolf(TheAuthor firmly believes that "wolfishly" is the best word here): ah, speaking of which, are you and the lovely Alma still dating? Mahler(warily) Yes...a year in October.. Perhaps you should find a long term relationship yourself......? Mussorgsky: hey kids get out of the way home improvement is coming on! Wagner: At this hour? Who programs this so-called 'daytime television'? What foul mortal.... etc Liszt: Ok, everyone.. we had better see to the bedroom first. Mussorgsky: yeah since thats where you spend all your time! Liszt: honestly, Modest.. I just got back. (he directs, and the others, each carrying a piece of luggage, head for the bedroom) Mussorgsky: wish i had a posse to move my stuff around... hmph.. |
| Orientation Day 2: (verdi and dvorak have begrudingly gotten out of bed and are now trying to get ready; there is loud obnoxious humming emanating from behind the closed bathroom door.) Verdi: I cant believe we're getting up at 8 so we can go to an orientation program. What is so important that it requires us to get up this early?? Dvorak: hm.. I have no idea.. Verdi: Whos humming? its no tune like I've ever heard before!.... Dvorak: (stands close to him) shh! they can hear through the bathroom door! Verdi: Oh... how do you know? Dvorak: 'cause I heard them talking. (lowers voice further)I think theyre both gay Verdi: What!? (back to whisper) what are the chances for that!? TheAuthor: At William and Mary, pretty good Dvorak(correctly ignores TheAuthor, whilst Verdi looks around in confusion): no idea, but they were both discussing the aesthetically pleasing appearance of some random guy in a blue shirt. Verdi: well.. that doesnt mean anything. I can appreciate good clothing.. Dvorak: -the guy, not the shirt! Verdi: thats a bit different then.... we'll see. Later we find our four suitemates huddled together in the back of PBK hall, trying desperately to stay awake for an Academic Planning Session. In order they sit: Verdi, Dvorak, Barber, Copland. Meanwhile onstage, a daughty looking woman is at the podium, droning on about science classes, which interest none of our composers. Woman: Good medical schools are looking for at least a 3.7 or higher, and although this is William and Mary, that still means you have to start off on the right foot..... Dvorak(to Barber): ....So where are you from? Barber: Pennsylvania.. .. god this woman is boring Dvorak: yeah, I know, I - Verdi: (snore; his head is on Dvorak's shoulder) Dvorak: What... hey, Giuseppi, wake up! Verdi: hm? Dvorak: My shoulder is not a pillow! Verdi: sorry.. (rubs nose, looks to stage) Woman: Into level science classes usually have between 150 and 180 people, but at William and Mary you can still find time to reach your professors.... Verdi: lets get out of here. Barber: How? Copland: (leans in) Planning an escape already? OA(his head appears between Dvorak and Barber): Did I hear someone say "escape"?? Dvorak: uhhhh... no sir OA: There is no escape. (he speaks calmly, slowly, with devilish relish) This is NEW STUDENT ORIENTATION... You're just doomed. Woman: Now the upper leve classes being ot get more interesting.. OA(dangerous calm): Dont you kids like science?... I'm a chemistry major... Dvorak: I think we're all going to wind up music majors... OA: Oh ho - I know your type... I had two music majors on my hall last year.. Chronic smokers... (leans in dangerously close to Dvorak, who tries to move away instinctively) you dont like ....to smoke.... do you?? Dvorak: ... uh... well I don- Verdi: No sir, he's allergic! OA: .... (leans back so as to have the two of them in view).... well..... I hope thats true.. Now pay attention..... Woman: Many chemistry majors often stay during the summer to conduct professor assisted research! Barber: agh....... |
| Jefferson Felix Mendelssohn is moving into his room on the second floor. On the way in, he notices some rather scruffy looking, frat boy types. He frowns, but continues on. He sniffs: strange smell Mendelssohn: hm... Jefferson, the stinky dorm.. Oh well, nothing a little air freshener cant fix. (looks around room) not bad.. I guess I'll have to wait for Frederic to come to unpack.. wouldnt be right starting with out him. (with that, he decides to explore the rest of the hall, and he goes about browsing through names on doors and trying not to seem too nosy to those with open doors) .. hm.. Sandman... his name is Sandman? I'll have to keep that in mind... ah, Tchaikovsky! rooming with.. Bruckner - Anton Brckner! Whod have guessed that? (knocks; the door opens, revealing a room half decorated, half empty. Obviously someone has not moved in yet. Mendelssohn sticks his head in cautiously, then hears an 'OOMPH' as the door jolts and Bruckner appears from behind it. Bruckner: hi.. Sorry, got stuck behind the door Mendelssohn: Ah, Anton, how are you? Bruckner: Hi - (looks blank for a moment, trying to remember name) hold on, dont tell me. I know you from Ewell.... its.. uh... Frederic! Mendelssohn: eh heh.. no, he's my roommate Bruckner: oh, sorry... ah... Florestan! Mendelssohn(nicely): no, that would be one of Robert Schumann's imaginary friends. Bruckner: Ah... (more embarrassed):... -FELIX! Mendelssohn(brightens) yep! Bruckner: Right, Felix Mendelev! Mendelssohn(doesnt have the heart to correct him again, just nods optimistically) Bruckner: oh, nice to meet you (shakes hand) Mendelssohn: So, you just get in? Bruckner: yes, I just finished moving in.. Pyotr's not here yet.. I hope he doesnt mind me taking the desk in the corner. (the desk in the corner, as opposed to next to the bright cheerful window) Mendelssohn: I'm sure he wont mind. (attempts to smile, finally succeeds) Bruckner: ..it was kind of an accident that we are rooming together - I mean, a fortunate one, I think, but I dont really know him too well... Mendelssohn: Oh, well he's... (his eyes have fallen upon the framed knitting of the Lord's Prayer above Bruckner's bed).. he's a good soul. (smiles for emphasis) Bruckner(relieved looking): ah good.. -Hey, does this mean youre here on the hall too? Mendelssohn(afraid to open mouth in case his fake smile leaves him forever) mmhm! Bruckner: oh good, four composers then...(adds bashfully) well, three composers and one aspiring composer, I guess.. Mendelssohn: Yeah, it should be fun... you guys should hang out with us some time.. I have to go meet frederic whos due any minute now.. See you around Bruckner: bye! |
| Orientation Day 4 Dvorak: It rains. Verdi: to lament our fate! Tchaikovsky arrives at Jefferson, lugging up a large piece of luggage. He is completely drenched, hair flopping in his face like a wet rag; his dffle bag leaves a trail of water as he pulls it after him. He glances up and sees that Mendelssohn and Chopin are rooming down the hall, but that doesnt seem to brighten his glaring expression. Sweating, he finds his room, kicks open the door. Bruckner is sitting on his already made bed, writing something in a notebook. Bruckner: oh, hi Pyotr! (stands up to greet him) Tchaik: no, no... dont bother. I'm ok.... I have so much stuff.. (drops bag, stands in middle of room and looks around critically; suddenly turns back to Bruckner, an expression half angry, half pleading) Let's get one thing settled: Youre straight, right? Bruckner(completely bewildered): ...uh..... .. yea...? Tchaik: Ok! GOOD. That's done. NO CONFUSION this year! Bruckner(still trying to formulate complete sentences): uh..... did.. was.....? Tchaik: We wont talk about that... (glares moodily at the center of the floor) Bruckner: ...I'm sorry you couldn't room with your original .. friend Tchaik(softens a bit): yeah, thats ok. not your fault he transferred.... Bruckner: do you want help unpacking...? Tchaik: no use us all getting soaked. .. look, I'm sorry, I'm not usually in a mood like this.. just... when you have to walk a half mile in the pouring rain, through the mud - I'm a mess - and I hate this whole unpacking business anyway.. I dont know where any of my stuff is... Bruckner: ..(wide eyed):. oh.... Tchaik: It's ok.. I'll manage.. (exit) Bruckner: (looks around bewildered) |
| Arnold Schönberg has returned to school; he has talked Beethoven into rooming with him, rather then them both fighting over the last single in OD. "no" "Please!" "you wont wanto room with me later" "Come on" "no!" "You cant be worse than Wagner" "Ok." Now he comes home, finds that Beethoven is actually here! Schönberg: oh my goodness, its the famous Ludwig can Beethoven! Beethoven: .... thats infamous to you Schönberg: you are... especially in Wagner's eyes.. He cant figure out for the life of him why you wouldn't want to spend every waking minute in his company.. Beethoven: mm...too many stupid girls... i wont share my time with stupid girls.. Schönberg: ah, well if Id have known that I'd- Beethoven: no. Schönberg: better. .. (pause) I was wondering if you were actually going to move in... classes started yesterday. Beethoven: I was here... i got in late.. left my stuff in ewell.. Schönberg: .. thats what I meant.. whether you were going to move in her.. I saw your suitecase in the lobby and I worried that you might just set up camp there Beethoven: (glances around the room moodily.. notices one of Schönberg's paintings) .. good subject for an artwork Schönberg: thats right.. if youre not careful I will come in and paint you someday when I find you unconscious on the lobby sofas.. 'the sleeping bear in its natural habitat' Beethoven: funny Schönberg: you dont mind about the orange curtains, do you? Beethoven: ... what curtains....? Schönberg(simply): The ones on the window. Beethoven(turns to left): oh.... mm... obviously not Schönberg: we'll be fine, Ludwig.. Beethoven: mm.. good |
| Chopin is lying in bed, sick as usual. Chopin: egh Mendelssohn Are you sure you dont have mono Chopin: again!? Mendelssohn: well.. I wouldn't put it past you to have it again, Frederic.. youre prone to illness. Chopin: I do not have mono.. just a nagging cough Mendelssohn: Tuberculosis Chopin: NO (knock on the door) Mendelssohn: ENTER Mozart: hey guys Chopin: wolfy Mozart(takes one look at chopin) Do you have mono AGAIN!? Mendelssohn: Hahah! Chopin: aghhhhh Mozart: Actually, I just stopped by to let you two know that on the first meeting for Das Haus this season, we're voting a new president. I think you guys should vote for me. Mendelssohn(grin): I suppose you do. Why should we? Mozart: Why not? I'm the most prolific prankster yet... And not just any pranks.. LISZT... The thiolphenol in the gloves! the weakest part, hahah.. and geting the picture... the picture! (laughs at its remembrance) Mendelssohn: losing the picture..... Mozart: I didnt think i was supposed to be guarding it, with the knowledge that I am responsible for Haus well being, I will never allow any such security breaches to happen AGAIN! (goes back into giddy child mode) AND - you were there for it too - Brahms's bed Chopin: that was funny Mendelssohn: he ever get you back for that? Mozart: No, he admitted defeat, if you will recall... Mendelssohn: Thats bad news.. the longer something like that stews, the worse the retaliation.. And what about Beethoven's hair? Mozart:(shudders) what about it? Chopin: I think his April Fools Day prank was better than yours...getting Hector Berlioz stuck in his doorway.. haheh-agh(coughing fit) Mozart: youre going to die, Frederic.. that is a nasty souding cough. Chopin (cough) FIN-agh!! (cough) Mendelssohn: heh Mozart: Come on.. Beethoven's not in Das Haus, or I'd vote for him too.. its going to be me.. or probably.... Heinrich Schütz, whos a nice guy, but a little staid if you ask me. Mendelssohn: Youre right about that, Wolfy, you can count on my vote. Chopin (coughing) Mendelssohn: And Frederic's too. Mozart: Good. Now off to cause more trouble... Guess who's on my hall this year? Chopin: wh--(cough) Mozart(without the slightest hint of hostility): Oh get over it and die already, Frederic. - Hector Berlioz... Mendelssohn: He's suffered enough, Wolfy.. Mozart: no, no , no ! it gets better! AND brahms and joachim. Mendelssohn(grin): I dont know.. youre goign to be too busy pranking your hallmates to be das haus president, I think... Mozart; nah..... |
| Back in Chandler: Brahms and Joachim are coming back from their first class. Joachim: I dont know about intro to pschology as a social science... ach, I hate GER3 Brahms: Yeah, but Pilkington seems eas....y.. (has reached for the handle, his hand turns, but not the door knob.) Joachim: What? I left it unlocked.. Brahms: .... (looks at hand, it is all shiny now)... damn it.. Joachim(reaches for door with coat covering hand): maybe this'll.... damn it..(his hand slides away ineffectively) Brahms: hm.. paper towels? (they both go to the hall bathroom and return with toilet paper, as the paper towels are all gone already) Ok...(tries to wipe off the vasoline with the paper, again tries to turn knob)... .. this is the oldest trick in the book, Joseph. Joachim: .. we've already been pranked.. we need to stop leaving the door unlocked - Brahms: hah! no one can get in anyway! (tries again) .. lets go to ewell Joachim: (laughing in spite of himself) is that your solution for every problem?? give me that! (takes the last two paper towels and furiously wipes off the door knob) THERE! (turns handle, precariously, Brahms slams him shoulder into the door and they fall into the room) Brahms: well that didnt... (sees the note on the floor) ... Joachim(picks up note, reads): 'Welcome back, kids. Hope you had a relaxing summer. youll need it. Regards, your friendly neighborhood prankster" Abominable. He beat us to it. We'll have to answer this, of course.. Brahms: Of course. |