SCENE I:

We see two space men on the Moon that stumbled off their rocket ship with a bottle of liquor in their hand.

Space Man #1: Oh man, what a party. Everybody was saying, "Drinks on me..."

Space Man #2: Yeah, what a great bunch of guys. I didn't realise this was such a vital mission.

Space Man #1: Yeah, Hey what's that over there?

Space Man #2: It looks like a toilet bowl.

Space Man #1: Well I guess we'll go dump these bottles in that toilet.

Space Man #2: Yeah. The Spacemen stumble over to the gigantic cylinder-like toilet.

Space Man #1: This is really heavy.

Space Man #2: We don't even have enough strength to pick up a dandelion.

The space men open the toilet and a bunch of lasers sparkle.

Space Man #2: I think we better get out of here!

A tall ape-like blue creature named Baboo, a short, rotund, light blueberry/wart hog with a pimply like face named Squatt, a 14 karat gold warrior monkey named Goldar, and a funny-shaped eared monster with big eyes named Finster climb out of the opened toilet.

Baboo: Man, Rita snores like a chainsaw.

Squatt: We better go wake her!

Goldar: Why? We'd be better off without that old snotty, conniving, fowl-mouthed, goat-haired witch.

Rita: [Yawning] Did somebody call my name?

Baboo: Now you've gone and done it, she's awake! And with bad breath! (Whew!)

Squatt: If it were me, I would've dumped the lid over her and ran!

Goldar: Well we can't take over the world without her, so; Welcome home, sweet loving, kind, wonderful hair-made queen.

Rita: After 10,000 years I'm awake.

Baboo: Hallelujah! I mean! Yes, your evilness.

Rita: Let's take over earth and tear it up!

Squatt: But what are we going to do it in?

Finster: Look at what I found!

We take an extremely fast pull-out to see Rita's Palace on the moon.

Phill: How'd that get on the Moon?

Rita: Excellent! Finster, break out the clay collection of monsters and start making 50 Muddies. Goldar, start taking Martial Arts Lessons.

Goldar: I already did that!

Rita: Well take 'em again! I don't want you screwin' up! Besides, after 10,000 years you may be a little rusty.

Finster: Hmmm, I shall use my super duper intergalactic electromagnetic fielding of...

Phill: Eh it's just Play-Doh.

Finster: Oh you have to ruin a perfectly good articulate phrase. Anyway, I will produce my Muddies.

Rita: Hmmm, great! We'll destroy earth.

SCENE II:

Five teenagers (Jason: An American white kid: 19 years old. Kimberly: AnAmerican white girl: 22 years old. Trini: A Vietnamese girl: 20. Billy: AnAmerican white kid, nerd wearing glasses: 22 years old. And Zack, An AmericanBlack kid: 22 years old) are hanging out at a big building called Angel Grave'sJunk Food and Gym Bar run by a fat man named Ernie. This is a normal hangoutfor these five teens. We see our not-so-average group of teenagers doing special talents thattake years to do in their personal practice. Zack (who is ironically dressed in Black with a tank top on) and Jason (who is, again, ironically dressed in Red) are fooling around doing Martial Arts. Kimberly (dressed in a Pink Bike-a-Tard) is doing her Gymnastics and Trini (wearing Yellow Bike shorts and Yellow T-Back Bra) is practising her Yellow Belt Karate. Billy walks into the room with his Blue Head Band and a White Karate Robe on.

Billy: Hey, you guys! I just decided to tell you guys about how I was born.

Jason: Wait, it wasn't about that time you were born in a blue blanket?

Zack: Funny, I was born in a black blanket.

Trini: Weird! I was in a yellow blanket!

Kimberly: Well I was in a pink blanket.

Jason: I was in a red one.

Ernie: That's weird, you guys always wear the same colours all the time!

Jason: Well that's because something really weird is going to happen to us. We're going to be chosen out of 250 million citizens of America to be 5 elite people called Pathetic Rangers and we're going to save the world.

Ernie: Oh, okay.

Zack slaps his hand on his forehead in disgrace.

Kimberly: Well now what? Now that we already know what's going to happen, what's going to happen now?

Billy: Because airhead let out the plot, we have to PRETEND we don't know anything and act like our lame lives are worth living.

Trini: You sure do have a way of putting things, Billy.

Jason is still pondering Billy's statement.

Kimberly: If you haven't figured out what Billy has said by now, you really must be an airhead.

Bulk (fat dude with receding hair line in pony-tail) and Skull (skinny-dude with shreiky voice and black wild hair) wander into the scene.

Bulk: We're Bulk and Skull, we're gross and we don't care.

Skull: Yeah, and since we have no use in this parody we'll go on about our business being gross.

Skull puts on sardine-odoured cologne all over himself and Bulk sprays garlic scents into his mouth.

Skull: Hey sexy, wanna buy me lunch?

Kimberly: Get a breath mint.

Bulk: Hey cutie, let's have sex!

Trini: No!

Bulk: I'll have to teach you a lesson. See, if you look in the "Bulkster's Dictionary": "No" isn't in the book, you asked for this!

Trini and Kimberly brutally attack Bulk and Skull and throw them out the Junk Food Bar's window.

Trini: That was fun.

Kimberly: Yeah!

Trini: You nitwits really ought join Jason's karate class.

Cut to: Bulk at Jason's karate course.

Jason: Oh no! Not you. No way! No how, ain't gonna happen.

Bulk: How 'bout if we give you one million bucks.

Jason: Then I'd give you one lesson. However, since I know you can't produce what you "promise," I'll give you a lame freebee.

Bulk: Outta my way, geek-burger.

Bulk pushes Billy aside and he falls onto the floor and runs away crying as he holds his shoulder.

Bulk: What a dweeb.

Jason: Yeah. Ooo! I mean, uh--don't say those things about my friends.

Bulk: What are you, his lover?

Jason: Hey, don't you be sayin' those things, man. He be paying me.

Bulk: Oh. Teach me how to beat people up.

Jason: Karate was not created to BEAT people up. Besides, I could be sued for fraud and illegal violence if I train anyone in seriously injuring a person. But if you must know, get 'um good in the crotch--particularly their happy-sacks.

Bulk: Got it.

Jason: Let's try something simple. A back kick.

Jason performs a back kick and Bulk imitates it sloppily. Skull commences hand-clapping while his left eye is twitching and he's chewing gum.

Jason: One more mistake, and you're out! I'm only keeping Bill because he's part of the cast.

Somewhere else...

Billy: Hey, Zack. The handle's William but my friends call my Billy.

Zack: Hi, William.

Billy: Hey, Kim. Wanna fool around?

Kimberly: With you? Get serious!

Billy: Aw come on.

Trini: Pst! Kim, it could be a good investment. When those fresh college boys get older, they'll grow up to be shoe salesman, but if you pour the charm on nerd-pants over here, you just might get married to a millionaire and take his money!

Kimberly: Sounds SO sleazy. (Short Pause) COOL! Hey, Bill, you really turn me on...

Kimberly walks away with an over-giddy Billy.At Jason's course...

Jason: GET OUT!!

Bulk: But I...

Jason: Blow Joe, Hit the road, sunny. This course is for brains-only people. And you aren't qualified. So get lost. Scram, ham.

Bulk: Your place is a disgrace! I shall tell none of my friends about you!

Jason: Big deal, so what if I lose one customer.

Bulk and Skull stumble off the scene.

SCENE III:

At Ernie's Junk Food Bar; Kimberly is sitting down with her fist on her cheek blowing huge bubbles with her bubble gum, while Billy's playing with a rubics cube, Zack is eating a bathtub of popcorn, Jason is playing with a slinky, and Trini is jump-roping.

Kimberly: Like, when is this dead show going to go anywhere?

Jason: When we get the power coins.

Zack: Well if bubbles for brains hadn't ratted out the plot, we'd believe that our unusually dull and drab lives were something enjoyable.

The room starts shaking like a 6.7 earthquake.

Billy: Now time for some real acting. [He starts sounding like he's reading a script] Uh, Gee, This is bad, this is a bad earthquake.

Jason: Shut up, Neutron. Something bad is happening.

Zack: Yeah, it's almost as bad as when Trini was allowed to use makeup.

Trini: Shut up.

Billy: Oh no, I feel strange.

Jason: I feel bad.

Zack: I think I'm going to throw-up.

Trini: That's because you're a pig when it comes to food.

Jason: Now it's time to teleport.

Billy: Okee dokee, this Does seems like a rip off from Star Trek though.

Jason: That's because the writers are lamers. Let's go, AHHH!

Soon, all five of the teenagers are engulfed in a static field, each one a different colour: Jason--Red, Billy--Blue, Zack--Black and Trini--Yellow until they all vanished.

SCENE IV:

The five teens are dropped off in a giant dark room with a control panels surrounding them and a big crystal ball standing on a platform behind them. A giant glass tube is in front of them. This building is what is called the command centre of where all the Pathetic Rangers' power lies. The teenagers had teleported to the command centre in an energy rope.

Jason: What are you doing? [Pausing] What are you?

Zordon: Greetings, strange and unimportant creatures, you.

Billy: HEY!

Zordon: I am Zordon, a great big head sliced off after eating a bad lunch. Now, I have abducted you otherwise boring and otherwise uninteresting teenagers bound for extinction out of a race of 79 billion earth beings to become a team of superheroes to make me look good.

Jason: Fine, would you just loosen up the straps?

Zordon: Oh yeah. Alpha Five. Deactivate the force-field ropes. I only did that to get your undivided attention.

Zack: Yeah yeah, but what's in it for us, fish-head?

Zordon: You'll feel good about yourself?

Jason: And?

Zordon: You'd be doing your fellow man a great deal of service?

Billy: Plus?

Zordon: YOU'LL GET LOT'S AND LOTS OF PRAISE, OKAY?!?

Jason: Oh goodie, goodie!

Alpha loosens everybody but Kimberly's ropes. Alpha is about to untie Billy and Kimberly.

Kimberly: Hey robot, you don't have to loosen me and Billy's ropes.

Alpha V: It's Alpha 5.

Kimberly: Okay, robot.

Alpha: Aye Yi, Yi Yi, Yi.

Trini: Do you have to do that?

Alpha: It's a bug in my programming.

Zordon: He was the next best thing at the Flea Market for $20 bucks. What can you expect for cheap programming?

Billy: Oh cool, it's one of those pieces of trash you can take to `Show and Tell' for disassembling.

Alpha: I'm not trash, you space-punk, I am Alpha Five; a Intergalactic Atoma... Atoma... Atoma...

Zack smacks Alpha on the head.

Alpha: Thanks. Automaton. I am a fully, functional robot.

Jason looks at Alpha in disbelieving expression.

Alpha: Well... nearly functional.

Zordon: Anyway, he's just some trashcan keeping me in existence. Now then, each of you have access to the ancient powers that lies in five golden coins. Jason: Ego'd out and arrogant: you will be the Red Rash Ranger. Zack: easily obese, and over-sexed, you will be the Black Toast Ranger. Trini: pathetic, weak and much of a joke, you will be the Yellow Back Ranger. Billy: smart, gullible and wimpy you will be the Blue Nosed Ranger and Kimberly: graceful and easy, you will be the Pink Dink Ranger.

Jason: Hey, these coin names make me believe I don't have much to live for.

Zordon: That's because you don't, besides servicing me. Now you have some toys I'll let you borrow so you can fight this old witch I divorced 20,000 years ago and her endless supply of monsters.

The teens turn around and look at the crystal ball on the platform behind them known as the viewing globe and notice Rita Repulsive on a one-speed unicycle with an evil potion in her hand. Rita is an evil witch with two cones of hair sticking out from the left and right side of her scalp while she has a tail and a giant dress on.

Zordon: This is Rita Repulsive. She is an evil sorceress-eress-eress who plans to wreck earth, take it over, and basically, blow everything up to smithereenies.

Kimberly: Gross.

Zack: Like you?

Kimberly: At least I have a figure. Look into it.

Zordon: You are getting off the point, I am giving you these fighting machines, or my toys. Kimberly: you shall command the Pterodorky, Hush-Puppy Model (cause it was cheaper); it will make you itch quite often. Billy: you will command the Tribladdertops; but be careful, Billy; it occasionally takes trips to the bathroom on those who control it. Trini: you will guide the Sabertoothed-Alley Cat; smelly and flea-bitten, he will make you itch too. And Zack: you will have the Majormess; although you might not have much room when you jump inside.

Alpha: Because whoo wee, it's a mess.

Zordon: Jason, you will get the Trashosaurus Wreck, another thing that caught my eye when picking up Alpha from the Flea Market; of course there WAS a local trash dump next to the market.

Zack: Man, this sounds stupid.

Billy: Fictitiously Intrepid.

Jason: Dude, you don't even know what you're talking about.

Billy: At least I know how to build an atomic-generator.

Jason: NYEA!

Alpha: And the worst is yet to come.

Zordon: Correct, when you fuse the trash together, you will get MegaJunkaZord; with its smell, it will repel the most powerful of monsters, unless they are wearing a nose clip.

Trini: Does Rita and her goons know that?

Zordon: Unfortunately, she does, that's why she makes all of her monsters with internal nose clips so they don't breathe.

Alpha: Yeah, but mostly, she forces her henchmen men to do it for her and all she does is sit around complain and yell until she gets what she wants and goes hoarse.

Zordon: Yeah, that's why all her monsters have tails because that's how they breathe. They can't stand the smell of zords; especially ours.

Kimberly: This sucks, I'm outta here.

Billy: Me too, this sounds too dumb.

Alpha: Oh wait, you forgot these.

Alpha gives the five teenagers each their five empty power metamorphosis initialisation devices (morphers).

Billy: What do we need these for?

Alpha: Just shut up and do what I say, stupid.

Alpha grabs the Pathetic Coins out of the Rangers hands and puts them in the pathetic morphers which makes them become electrified and then calms down.

Zack: This is whack. I'm getting the crap outta here.

Trini: Me too.

Alpha: Well that didn't go well.

Zordon: This was even worse than the time we tried getting the "Saved by the Bell" cast to do it.

SCENE V:

Rita is on the balcony of her palace spying on Earth, namely the new Rangers leaving the Command Centre with her telescope.

Rita: Oh this is too easy, a bunch of weak wimpy puny teenagers!!

Finster: They don't stand a chance next to my 50 muddies.

Rita: Especially that blind blue dude.

SCENE VI:

The five walk out of the command centre through a swinging door into this deserted mountain area.

Zack: Talk about a bad experience.

Kimberly: Yeah, I know. They could've at least sent us back into town.

Jason: I say we do it!

Trini bops Jason over the head.

Jason: Hey, it's true.

Trini: You're only saying that because you're an ego-maniac begging for attention.

Jason: Is that such a crime?

Zack: Guys, you don't know what you're talking about. We were talking to a giant, floating head.

Billy: Who knows what kind of disease that thing could give us.

Jason: Why would he be lying?

Zack: Because he's in a fish bowl. What has he got to lose?

Kimberly: Who wants to listen to a fool who's dead and his old body part is swarming in a bowl, while the so-called bad girl is still alive?

Jason: Shut up, guys. We do it or else you get beat up!

Billy: Gee, you've only been that hostile on me -- 50 times?

A powerful light-beam strikes near the five teenagers and then an army of alien looking monsters with grey jump-suits that have black stripes, and rock solid masks on called Muddies antagonise the rangers, ready for combat.

Kimberly: Oh gross, they're disgusting!

Trini: They look like you!

The teenagers start hilariously fighting the Muddies.

Billy: Uhhh, uhhh! You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?

The Muddie aims straight for his glasses and cracks them. Billy takes them off and starts shaking his glasses and bits of broken glass begins falling out the lenses. Billy puts those broken glasses in his pocket and brings out the same glasses from out of his pocket, opens each ear holder and puts them on. The Muddies push Billy around like a tossed salad and they all are tossed over to a corner one by one--oddly enough, Billy catching Kimberly.

Jason: That was cool!

Trini: Don't push me, tarter sauce face!

Billy: Well according to that rotting fish-face, if we use these insulting power weenies, we'll have more power.

Jason: Okee Dokee.

The five teenagers stand up and draw their Morphers...

Zack: Majormess!

Kimberly: Pterodorky!

Billy: Tribladdertops!

Trini: Sabertoothed-Alley Cat!

Jason: Trashosaurus!

All: Pathetic Rangers!

Alpha 5 (jumping up and down with a stuffed teddy-bear): They did it! They stopped goofing off and morphed!

Zordon: Oh good, now teleport them from Angel Grave, Unknown State to Tokyo, Japan to fight more Muddies and Goldar, the unstoppable monster.

Alpha: Oh boy! Now that seven million-dollar license we paid for this Japanese footage'll really pay off!……….

The Pathetic Rangers appear in an open plain field in suits with their backs. Complete with gloves, boots and a helmet with their power morphers on the front of their belts with a holster containing their BladeBlasters. The new Rangers pose when Goldar lands and Muddies begin to somersault over each other and the battle begins. The red ranger kicks a Muddy in the crotch before the black ranger grabs another's shoulders and knee-kicks its face. Meanwhile, the blue ranger punches a muddy in the stomach and the pink ranger picks up a Muddy and throws it over the side of the building. Finally, the yellow ranger just jumps backwards into the air. On top of a skyscraper, she lands out of the sky.

Phill: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!

SCENE VII:

Rita: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I can't believe my instantly-trained clay-muddies are getting beaten by a bunch of pimple-faced lamers!

Squatt: I know, how 'bout you use your magic toothpick and make Goldar grow?

Rita: Why do I have to do EVERYthing myself?!?! I'll deal with you (Finster) later!

Finster: Oh dear.

Rita: Magic Toothpick, make my Goldar grow!

Rita throws down this giant, heavy wand that goes down from the moon to earth onto the sandy ground and causes a giant explosion to occur that transforms Goldar from a 7 foot tall beast to a 40 foot monster.

Jason: Man, look at him; that dude's huge!

Billy: Got any ideas, muscle brains?

Zack: Hey, fishbowl-head said something about some Dinosaur Robot Toys we can use to fight off big-dude.

Trini: What did he say that magical word was to call the zords with?

Jason: We need DinoJunk Power, now?

Trashosaurus emerges from out of a gigantic compost heap and begins roaring, then Majormess is seen stomping along with people running from the mammoth machine. Tribladdertops rolls through the desert sand and it runs into a hill and flips on its back. Sabertoothed-Alley Cat is seen running, stops to scratch out fleas and starts to run again (repeated about four times),Pterodorky flies out of the Volcano and runs into the tree and falls down.

Billy (sarcastically): This looks promising.

Kimberly: Cool.

Jason: Okay, let's go.

Zack: Wait, how do we get up there? Won't we need a ladder or something?

Billy: Why don't we jump?

Trini: Okay, let's try it.

Zack: One question comes to mind, how come we know exactly what to do when we're novices to this super hero thing? I only know so much from watching Wonder Woman.

Jason: Because it's in the script.

Kimberly: Ah, the proverbial script.

Jason: Be quiet, you're ruining the suspense.

Zack: Like there was any to begin with.

They jump high up to their zords and they land right on target.

Zack: Whoo, this is clean! But, so to speak.

Billy: What in the world is... [Billy's scene is interrupted]

Trini: Ew! Something smells like mouldy...[Trini's scene is cut]

Kimberly: They need to get these seats reupholstered!

Jason: Rangers! Power up your lollypops.

All: 43, 12; Power Up!

Jason: Let's show 'em some MegaJunkaZord Power.

Trini: Trini here, this is amazing! I don't even know how to drive this thing.

Billy: Affirmative, its got like a mind on its own. But the insurance premium I found in the glove compartment are outrageous!

Kimberly: Well its got a nice stereo.

Zack: Who cares?

Trashosaurus' legs fold into its back and connects to the Tribladdertops and Sabre-toothed-Alley Cat. Majormess unfolds and surrounds the Trashosaurus then Pterodorky connects to Majormess behind the Trashosaurus forming MegaJunkaZord. Moments latter, the rangers colours begin to fade in as their bodies are seen in the seats inside the central control station at the centre of MegaJunkaZord when they grab hold of their lollipops.

Jason: Blast 'em!

The Cannons of Majormess fire away at the over-grown Goldar and trips him up.

Jason: It worked! Zap 'em again!

The Zords eyes glow when electrical currents arc out of them like thunder that zaps Goldar.

Jason: We're not good enough, time to go to robot mode.

Robot Voice: MegaJunkaZord Sequence Has been Initiated.

Billy: Wait, I need to go to the bathroom.

The MegaJunkaZord converts into a gigantic toilet.

Billy: NO! I only need a bathroom.

The MegaJunkaZord converts back into TankMode as Goldar is sitting on a mountain tapping is feet with his arms folded in.

Goldar: I'm WAITing!

Billy: Just a sec!

Kimberly: You never know how long he'll take in there.

Jason: And just how would you know that?

Stupid look on Kimberly's face.

Billy: All done, ready.

Zack: !

Robot Voice: MegaJunkaZord Sequence Has Been Initiated; again.

MegaJunkaZord begins to rise into a 200 foot robot.

Jason: Are you guys ready?

Trini: No.

Jason: What?!?!

Trini: Fooled you! Hahaha!

Jason: Will you stop fooling around??

Kimberly: Look out!!

Goldar strikes MegaJunkaZord causing sparks to fly.

Jason: Thanks a lot, you bumbling fool; he got us good that time. Let's go back and finish this dude.

Trini, Billy: Right.

Kimberly, Zack: Morphy!

Billy & Jason: Huh?

Zack: It's something to say to sound cool.

Trini: Well it doesn't.

Jason: Shut up! We gotta stop Goldar.

Goldar gets the MegaJunkaZord in an Armlock.

Jason: Can't get loose!

Goldar gives MegaJunkaZord a couple of blows. MegaJunkaZord grabs Goldar's rubber sword and steps on Goldar foot and trips his leg that makes him roll around to MegaJunkaZord's left then Goldar gets up again when MegaJunkaZord whacks Goldar in the gut.

Jason: Alright! That's more like it!

Goldar: You and your weapons are no match for meee!

Jason: Let's send this dude BACK where he came from!

Zack (sings, while twirling his finger): Wash those troubles, down the drain.

Jason: Zack, would you stop that?!

Goldar hops up and with both feet, twists to the side and kicks MegaJunkaZord in the chest and a big POW is heard as an explosion is seen and sparks fly alluvia.

Jason: Mega-Receptive-HydroStablizing-Gyroscopic-Micro-Toilet Paper-Chips are out. We need the PlasticSword Now.

The clouds in the sky part as a gigantic butter knife comes through and MegaJunkaZord catches it.

Jason: Now let's nail this dude.

Billy: Yeah, but we never will.

Trini: Plot leak.

Jason: Yeah, don't you know that's my job?

Billy: Sorry.

Goldar: You haven't seen the end of me!

Kimberly: Thank goodness!

Billy: No--he said end, not REAR-end.

Kimberly: Oh.

SCENE VIII:

Goldar, Baboo and Squatt are found on their hands and knees while Rita is knocking them in the head with her staff.

Rita: I can't believe you let them beat you, Goldar!! What did I tell you about those Martial Arts lessons, HUH!?!?!?!

Goldar: Well I can explain, see ah...

Rita: I don't wanna hear it! You! Your Monster-Matic is worthless, you know that!

Finster: No, it can be fixed--all I need is a...

Rita: And you!

Baboo: What??? I didn't do anything!

Rita: Exactly, why don't you ever do anything?

Squatt: Well I was asleep!

Baboo: Quiet, Squatt. Well every-time you need me for something it always costs me money; and I'm already hiding out from my MasterCard bill collectors.

Rita: Always in trouble with the law. I will make those Rangers pay!

SCENE IX:

At the command centre, the rangers are standing side-by-side in front of Zordon.

Zordon: You have been through an extraordinary experience, low-life's.

Kimberly: Hey! I don't appreciate some windbag calling me a low-life.

Jason: Chill, he gave us these.

Zack: Whoopee-do.

Billy: Yippy.

Trini: Well, as always, with good things there comes a catch.

Alpha: That's the strangest thing, this isn't a good thing and there's STILL a catch.

Zordon: That is correct. To be a Pathetic Ranger, you must watch reruns of "As the World Turns" 20 times a day, clip your toenails, eat as many lollipops as you can until you get sick, and last but not least, drain anyone's brain if they learn you are a Pathetic Ranger.

Jason: I say we do it!

Trini: Well it's the only way Zack'll keep in shape.

Kimberly: The costumes are cool, especially on Billy because I can look at his cute little... [pause] Never mind.

Zack: Well I don't know, the costumes are cool and all but I have no where to keep my little black book.

Alpha: Oh no, too bad. I guess we'll just have to jettison you into the Drink.

Zack: NO, no, no, no, Alpha! I was just kidding.

Zordon: Oh good, no one must know of this place except rangers and Alpha. But he's a dumb droid, so I'm not worried about him.

All five rangers clasp their palms on each other's hands and throw their hands in the air as they jump.

All: Pathetic Rangers!

THE END (C) 1999 Phill. Enterprises

NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS...

Jason is trying to break the Weightlifting record and his own back...

Kimberly: Talkin' to me?

Jason: Yeah, every-time I see your butt, all my upper-body strength goes into my pants!

Kimberly: Well then keep your eyes on the barbell.

Jason: Oh yeah, just like that. You do realise I have feelings ya know

....but then Rita decides to get original and make a monster that has nothing to do with the rangers personal life, or is she?

Rita: Jason can't do anything right today, haha!

Baboo: What are you going to do now, Rita?

Squatt: I was suggesting Rita send down a giant cucumber that smells really gross.

Finster: No! I was going to send down King Jinx. His bad luck charms will Jinx that Red Rash Ranger for good.

Can Jason overcome the incredible amount of bad luck? Or will he be a dead duck? Is Billy getting free feels off of all the girls on the show? Do Trini and Kimberly really care? Did I fall asleep after I watched this episode? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!