SCENE I:

On a Sunny Day, we found our favorite bunch of wovable teenagers playing Volleyball at the park with Trini suffering from continual passes at her giggling but in her tight bike pants.

Jason: Billy's Turn!

Billy gets up from a bench that is carrying five glasses of lemonade punch and approaches the Volleyball net.

Billy: I apologize fellas, I do not have the adequate strength or eye-to-hand coordination to participate.

Jason: Okay, Trini you're up next.

Billy: Hey! You guys were supposed to say, "Hey, you're probably better than you think you are." Or something like that.

Jason: Why?

Billy: Because you're my friends.

Jason: Why?

Billy: You guys are such dorks.

Zack: Hey, don't you talk like that Billy. We're supposed to be goody-two shoes people who don't say bad things about each other.

Billy: I'm sorry, Jason.

Jason: Apology not accepted, Trini...

Billy is seen fuming as he walks to his seat.

SCENE II:

In Baboo's Chamber of Pain at Rita's Palace, Baboo uses the Christmas gift he received from which he dug up and dusted off, a Junior Chemistry Set, and begins working with it to create a potion.

Baboo: Ooh, this potion is sure to get those Pathetic geeks.

Finster: Baboo, why are you calling them Pathetic GEEKS? Isn't being called a Pathetic Ranger insult enough?

Baboo: QUIET! I'm concentrating. Besides, like Rita says, "You're not supposed to ask questions."

Finster: You know what? You're beginning to sound as annoying and obnoxious as Rita does.

Rita walks passed the open door overhearing Finster.

Rita: What!?

Finster: But in a good manner!

Rita: Oh you're pathetic. I should have you fired for this, but everybody else on the unemployment line was retarded. And compared to their monsters, yours was the best.

Finster: Thank you, your evilness.

Rita: That still doesn't mean I won't send you to your room and never let you come out until August!

Baboo: Let's see here...

Rita: And what is that you're making?

Baboo: It's a potion to turn the Pathetic Rangers into punks!

Rita: Splendid idea, I'll be in the dining room.

As Rita walks into the dining room, she hears Finster cursing.

Finster: Of all the low down dirty cheap things that wicked witch with a bad hair-do makes me do. I oughta have a monster sent after her. That cheap no good dirty sunuva...

Rita: And what's this!?!?

Finster: Well you see your evilness...

Rita: I don't wanna hear it. For this, you're gonna stay in your room 'til Christmas.

SCENE III:

The Muddies crash the rangers' dull, unexciting game of VolleyBall and they start to fend them off. Meanwhile, Baboo is overhead struggling Rita's unicycle to sneak his nasty potion into their drinks.

Baboo: Rita...aughta...motorize...this thing!

A drop of his potion misses the glass and hits the wooden table and burns a hole through it.

Baboo: Oops, time to go!

After a visually dizzying experience of poor zoom-in's, film-playbacks and pathetic fighting, the Muddies give up and disappear. Afterwards, they're all panting, coughing and catching their breath.

Billy: Boy that fight did work up quite a thirst, how about you Kimberly?

Kimberly: Me too.

Billy: What about you Jase'?

Jason: No thanks.

Billy: Oh, I get it! You want me and Kimberly to drink this mess while you guys get to stay nice and good while we have to become Bulk and Skull. Well not this time! No sir-re bob! I'm not gonna...

Jason: Just drink the slop, you'll make the writer a lot happier.

Kimberly: Oh all right, anything for the writer of these stupid parodies. Well Billy let's guzzle this fuel down.

Billy: And act surprised?

Kimberly: That's right!

They drink it down and suddenly Billy and Kimberly glow red indicating the spell worked and they get mad, knock over the box of drinks and assume disgusted faces.

Kimberly: Ewww, yuck! It tastes like the newest flavor of 'Squeeze it', Beef.

Billy: I'll say, its got hands.

Phill: Man! What did Baboo make, anyhow?

ALL: SHHHHH!!!

Phill: Hey, I wrote this thing. I can speak whenever I want!

Zack: He's gotta point there, on to the Parody.

Kimberly: Just look at those dweebs over there!

Billy: What a bunch of dorks.

Jason, Zack and Trini approach the hexed Billy and Kimberly--Trini with a ear-to-ear smile on her face.

Trini: Say, wanna play more Volleyball?

Kimberly: NO-WA! Volleyball is for DORKS!

Billy: Yeah, besides; you think I stink anyway.

Zack: How'd he remember? I was sure that Baboo's potion (that we were all distracted away from when he sent the Muddies after us) erased their minds.

Jason: Hey you guys are acting like jerks.

Billy grabs Jason and slams him into the wooden chair.

Billy: WHAT did you just call me?

Jason: You're not supposed to be THIS tough, you're a wuss!

Billy: Excuse me, what did you just say?

Jason (Gasping for air): That you are the coolest kid on the block.

Billy: That's better. Or else we would've made headcheese out of your face!

Kimberly: Come on, let's go nearly beat somebody else up.

Billy: Yeah, I hope they're scared of our unthreatening exterior.

Zack: Man, they've turned into punks!

Trini: Something is seriously wrong.

Jason: Like your choice in clothes?

Trini: Oh would you grow up.

Jason: No, you grow up!

Trini: Uh uh! You grow up!

Jason: You grow up!

Trini: No you grow up, inflated-muscle beak!

Jason: Uh uh, I'm not gonna grow up. You're gonna grow up!

Trini: No you...

Zack: You guys are acting worse than Billy and Kim!

Jason: I think Rita's behind this!

Trini: Has the thought ever occured to you that they decided to retire?

Zack: Yeah, and have you ever decided to get a push-up bra?

Trini (highly annoyed squeak): Mmmmm, Zack!

SCENE IV:

Rita sees the effect of Baboo's potion through her omnipresent spy-telescope.

Rita: Splendid work, Boo-boo.

Baboo: That's Baboo, my everythingness.

Rita: It's not important! I sure am grateful for your evil deed.

Baboo: Well I was wondering if we could negotiate a small reward for my service, a planet or a small asteroid maybe? I know! How 'bout Finster's room?

Rita: You're not getting squat!!

Baboo: Well that's gratitude for ya.

Rita: FINSTER! MAKE ME A MONSTER! And NOW! And make it WORK this time!

Finster: I just came up with a new monster that looks like a toad and after he swallows the Pathetic Rangers and digests them, we will be able to conquer earth. We had terrific success with him on Syngamy IV.

Rita: Perhaps you are forgetting that planet was the size of a _pinto_ bean!

Finster: Didn't make much of a difference before.

Rita: SEND IT DOWN! And if it don't work, you'll be in your room 'til New Year's!

SCENE V:

At school, Billy and Kimberly surprise the entire school by their punk attire:

Billy in ripped up jeans with his blue-striped "Urkel" underwear hanging out of his pants, wearing a leather jacket with John Lennon-glasses on, way too much grease in his hair while wearing a scarf on the backside of his hair. While Kimberly is dressed as she usually is, in a pink, too-tight-to-think outfit cut to the top of her thighs stretching to her bust with a leather jacket on with her hair frayed like a gang member with heavy make-up on.

Billy and Kim notice a nerd with his books attempting to race away from the two.

Billy: Gimme your lunch money, Potato-Head!

Kimberly: Yeah, give it up!

Classmate: Don't got any.

Billy and Kimberly begin pushing him back and forth.

Classmate: Why are you incessantly pushing me back and forth?

Kimberly: It's fun, now shut up.

Billy decks the nerd and drops him off the screen and onto the floor. Billy, then, walks pass the student and then shoves Zack's face into his locker and laughs.

Jason: Hey, you two; how did you ever get passed your parents?

Kimberly: Ever heard of a trailess?

Zack: I thought we were devoid of any bullies?

Jason: Guess again.

Zack: Maybe it's a phase.

Jason: Maybe it's that time of the month.

Trini stares at Jason.

Trini: Oh no! Look what I found in the garbage?

Jason: Your padded bra?

Trini: Yeah, that--and Billy and Kim's morphers!

Zack: Hey, you had to wonder why they would keep their power while being punks.

Trini: At least they could've just left it home. Did they have to potentially blow our cover?

Jason: They're punks--remember? We'll have to get used to it for the next 10 minutes.

On cue, Bulk and Skull step out from behind a wall and Billy walks to Bulk's side slamming his fist into his right palm, looking at him very angrily while Kimberly waddles her legs back and forth to approach Skull very lustfully.

Kimberly: Hey, Sexy. How about you and me, nearly-beat up saps?

Skull: Are you talkin' to me?

Kimberly (Sarcastically): No, I'm talking to that black wuss.

Zack (Yelling from another end of the locker hall): I'm not interested!

Trini: You'll do anything for extra pay, huh, Walter?

Zack: You keep quiet.

Skull: Why sure, wanna do a little something more? (Tsk, tsk)

Skull starts winking at her as a come-on.

Kimberly: I'm under a spell, not drunk.

Skull: And I was just this close.

Bulk: Get a load a this weenie.

Billy: I AIN'T no weenie.

Bulk: Then why are you wearing a fake L.A.P.D. Tattoo?

Billy grabs Bulk the shirt and jams him into his locker.

Billy: I ain't in the mood, fat-head.

Bulk: I think he means business, let's beat it, Skull.

Skull: Shh, I'm busy.

Bulk: What are you doing?

Skull: I think I've convinced Kimberly that she's too hot to keep her clothes on.

Bulk: Shut up and let's get outta here!

Skull: Phill, you better figure something out between me and Kim.

Phill: NO!

Skull: All right, all right!

Bulk: What do you think you're doing, pencil neck?

Billy: Listen, you; you're not the baddest dope on the block anymore, sa don't ask any dumb ques-tions, got it?

Bulk: Get a life.

Billy jams Bulk into his locker.

Billy: GOT IT?!

Bulk (whimpishly): Uh, yeah yeah! We got it!!

Billy: Good. Now, you watch your mouth or I'll rip your lips right off your fat face!

Billy rams his hand on Bulk's head and jams it onto his locker and holds it there as he begins picking his jacket pockets for money (ironically--he takes no money). When he's finished, Bulk and Skull run away in a fury, terrified.

Zack: Man, I can't believe--they've turned punk on us.

Jason: I know.

SCENE VI:

In the command center, Alpha is watching on the viewing globe Billy and Kimberly attacking the classmates (ironically everyone but Trini, Jason and Zack).

Alpha 5: Aye Yi, Yi! Billy and Kimberly have turned punk.

Zordon: Can't anybody get enough of that line?

Alpha: We ought to do something we did in the first episode.

Zordon: What's that?

Alpha: Teleport those teenagers here against their will, what else?

Zordon: Oh yeah, that was fun.

Alpha teleports Jason, Zack and Trini into the command center.

Jason: What's up, Alphy?

Alpha: I don't like being called that.

Jason: Billy and Kimberly have become punks.

Zordon sighs.

Alpha: I know what to do. Teleport Billy and Kimberly and restrict them in a forcefield.

Jason: Why? I like seeing Billy acting like he has a spine, and I wanna see what develops between Kim and Skull.

Alpha: That doesn't matter; Computer: capture punkoids in cage grid.

Hoodlum dressed Billy and Kimberly are teleported inside the cage restricted by the electricly charged bars.

Billy: HEY! What's this?

Billy touches the forcefield and gets electrocuted.

Billy (stoked): Huhwoah.

Kimberly: Why do we have to do that?

Billy: Yeah, pretty stupid, huh?

Kimberly, moving around and chewing her gum looking like a brainless bimbo, she touches the laser and gets shocked.

Kimberly: Ow!

Billy: Hey! What gives?

Zordon: How DARE you throw my morphers in the trash?!

Kimberly: We don't need 'em, stucco-face.

Billy: Let me out of here. What is this?

Alpha: You're in a forcefield.

Trini: What's wrong with them, Zordon?

Jason: I did give Billy a wet willie yesterday, but I didn't think he'd take it that hard.

Zack: What's a wet-willie?

Jason licks his pinkie and sticks it in Zack's ear.

Zack: Ewww!! Ya know, you could've just told me.

Zordon: Look at the viewing globe. Baboo has created a potion that turned Kimberly and Billy into mean bullies. Only the rare toenail clippings from a dead barber can save them. Wait a minute, that was the cure for a used car-salesmen. Oh! You're supposed to get spiked punch for them, that's the only way.

Alpha: Why do you know all these cures, unless YOU'RE Rita's partner?

Zordon: That's preposterous, you shut up.

Jason: Wouldn't booze be the thing that turned them punk?

Alpha: Thug! Crook! GANG MEMBER! ANYTHING but PUNK!!

Jason: Shut up.

Kimberly: When we get outta here, we're gonna kick your pathetic, sorry buns!

Billy: Buns? Why not butts?

Kimberly: I know, we're pretty soft to be bullies.

Billy: I think it's because of the A.C.T.--Action for Children's Television.

Phill: They're why all of the more intelligent citizens hate my show.

Zack notices this huge mutant-frog hoping up and down slapping everybody until they fall down.

Zack: Man, what's that?

Zordon: Terry Toad, Rita's new invention, it is destroying the town. Billy and Kimberly are of no use, as you can see...

Billy is smacking his fist into his other palm, blowing wind out of his mouth impatiently waiting for when he's going to get out of there. Similarly, Kimberly is twirling her gum around and around staring at her finger.

Zordon: And so, you must defeat this toad. While Alpha, you must doge the endless Muddies who are guarding the ancient alcoholic punch on the planet Nomad.

Alpha: Right away, Zordon.

Jason: All right, it's morphine time!

Zack: Majormess

Trini: Sabertoothed Alley-Cat

Jason: Trashosaurus

ALL: Pathetic Rangers!

Alpha is seen staring at Billy and Kimberly in dismay.

Kimberly: Hey, what are you staring at?

Billy: Yeah, take a picTURE, it'll last lonGER! Hehe!

Kimberly: Heh-heh.

Billy: Heh-heh.

Alpha: I have to go now.

Billy: Ooh, look at the cool toad.

SCENE VII:

The Pathetic Rangers battle the Terry Toad outside at an uncharted private park until Trini is swallowed whole by the monster.

Trini: AHHH!! HELP ME!!!

Terry: Hahahahaha, you guys are gonna look good in my tummy!

Jason: It up to me and you I guess, huh Zack?

Zack: Uh uh, I'm not going to be his lunch.

Jason: Now now, we don't want Phill to get hostile.

Zack: Oh all right.

Zack fights the toad until she gets swallowed.

SCENE VIII:

Alpha appears on the surface of the square-yard sized planet Nomad and sees the boozed-punch in a convienently placed bowl sitting on a party table. Running after it, late Muddies appear right behind him trying to dismantle his frail shell of a body.

Alpha: Oh my, I better do something!

Alpha pulls out an extremely large laser rifle and blasts the muddies into tiny bits of jet black smoking clay chunks on the ground. Alpha walks over the rocks and returns to the Command Center with a cup of the punch.

----------

Alpha returns to the command center, mixes the drink and gives it to Billy and Kimberly.

Alpha: Here you go.

Alpha approaches the cage grid and his arms go through the eletrified bars.

Kimberly: Well it's about time, you bring us something to drink.

Billy: Yeah, the service around here STINKS!

Billy and Kimberly toast each other's glasses and take a sip.

Kimberly: Hmmm, what is this? Mango?

They continue to drink until suddenly, that same red glow in their bodies re-appears as the spell apparently seems to be wearing off when they both shake their heads and bodies with an immense headache. Billy nervously shakes his head up and down tiwce after seeing how his underpants are seen and quickly pulls up his pants. Kimberly is picking at her punkish-like clothes in disgust.

Billy: Wow, what the heck?

Zordon: It worked.

Kimberly: Eww, what is this? [Picking at her trash-bag like clothing]

Billy: Something I found in your closet at home.

Kimberly: I thought I told you guys to keep outta my thi-ings!

Billy: I couldn't resist.

Zordon: Look what has happened, the Pathetic Rangers need your help!

Billy and Kim exit the cage and notice the viewing globe and Jason all alone fighting Terry Toad.

Billy: It's Jason.

Kimberly: Really? I thought it was Bob Barker. Duh.

Zordon: Alpha, are you SURE the spell wore off completely.

Alpha: [Crossed arms leaning against the console] Pretty sure.

Billy: What's that?

Zordon: That's Terry Toad, he's an awfully hungry cannibal frog who feeds off of people, particularly--what he calls--those cuisine Pathetic Rangers. Namely, you five. Therefore, you must morph and destroy him--but be careful not to be eaten too.

Billy: Pretty stupid plotline, but since it IS my duty... It's morphine time.

Kimberly: Pterodorky

Billy: Tribladdertops

SCENE IX:

Jason fights Terry Toad with his Power Sword when Kimberly and Billy arrive as reinforcements.

Jason: Thanks god you guys straightened out in time. That sick monster just got through salting my helmet!

Kimberly: You shouldn't be. You're the most powerful and it looks like you're rump roast.

Jason: Oh no. HELP!!!

Jason eventually is eaten by Terry Toad. Kimberly chops off Terry Toad's horns with her BladeBlaster.

Billy: Well obviously that won't work!

Kimberly: Yes it will, Zordon said so.

Terry Toad begins to visually and scarily grow in power contrary to the original plot.

Terry Toad (even worse voice): YOU'VE MADE A VERY BAD MISTAKE, RANGERS!!!

Kimberly: Well???

Billy: Uh... It reasons to be logical to physiologically transpose our locations so we may have an increased advantage over the amphibious monstor.

Kimberly: You mean switch places.

Billy: Precisely.

Kimberly: Fine, but what good'll that do?

Billy: Nothing what so ever. However, logically speaking, it has no disernable value for the purpose of aiding us in the destruction of this beast besides explaining why the stunt guys do this in the footage.

Terry Toad: Hey, you! I'm still here, GRRR!

Billy: That's it! You're goin' down!

Kimberly: No, Billy, wait! That's suicide!

Billy jumps into the air with is BladeBlaster misses and gets slapped in the face, slurped up by Terry Toad's tongue becoming wraped up in it and begins to be swallowed whole.

Billy: Ugh! Ugh!!

Terry: Hahahaha! 4 down and 1 to go!

Kimberly: Let my friend go, you perverted cannibal!

Terry: Sure, I'll trade him for you, yummy steak!

Kimberly: That's IT! You've had it!

Kimberly wraps her hands and arms around to her side and draws a pre-loaded PowerBow with arrow.

Baboo: Oh no you don't!

Baboo shoves Kimberly out of the way causing her to roll away onto her side in the grass.

Kimberly: Baboo?! What do you think you're doing!?

Baboo: Getting a backbone?

Kimberly: Get out of my face before you get hurt, you suck-up.

Baboo: Big talk, Kimberly. You're only one person, and Terry is going to swallow you whole!

Terry: HA HA HA HA HA!! (Ribbit)

Kimberly: No!

Kimberly stands up and does her three-position pose.

Kimberly: HUT! HUT! AYEAH!!

Kimberly jumps into the air with her PowerBow and arrow and fires one magical shot seperating into three arrows that lodge themselves into Terry Toad's neck. Then another one from another angle blasting in Terry's weak spot causing him to cough up the Rangers.

Terry Toad: UGH! That taste keeps repeating on me!

Jason (swinging Power Sword around): You're gonna have worse problems than indigestion, mutant.

Zack (whipping PowerAxe): It's ova' for you, toad

Billy (juggling Power Lance): We're back, and that means lights out for you!

Trini (twirling Power Daggers): Give it up, Toad; yer gonna lose!

Terry Toad: I'll swallow you all down again if I need to drink Pepto to KEEP you down!

Jason: Not as long as there's only five minutes of this show left. Get him, Guys!

Terry Toad is first attacked by Trini and Kimberly's power weapons, then Billy and Zack's and finally Jason somersaults and clobbers Terry Toad with his PowerSword and then round-houses him into the air causing him to hit a tree and roll over onto his side.

Kimberly: I got this one, guys. Here's a little something that teach you not to mess with the Pathetic Rangers.

Kimberly pulls out her bow and lets an arrow go as the camera follows the lone arrow soaring through the forest until it hits the seriously injured Terry Toad's belly and it causes him to pop wide open and splatter all over the place. Baboo then rapidly retreats for fear of Terry Toad's breakdown to happen to him.

Jason: Woah, good job Kim...WAIT a minute! I, the Red Rash Ranger was saved by a girl?

Billy: I don't mind!

Zack: You'll get used to it.

SCENE X:

In Ernie's Junk Food Bar, Trini is dressed in super sexy aerobics clothes: Yellow lycra stretch pants with thong rilled up her bottom and a small t-shirt with its ends tied together. Kimberly is wearing a pink leotard under pink spandex biking shorts with a blue thong stuck in her rear. They're both practising God knows what when Bulk and Skull walk into the scene.

Skull: So--how about that nearly beatin' up poor saps?

Kimberly: Huh? I'm a goody-two-shoes now.

Skull: Oh.

Trini: Yeah, so drop dead.

Bulk: You're not so tough now, are ya?

Billy: Why don't you save a whole lot of trouble, and a whole lot of money and go away.

Bulk: Why should we?

Skull: Yeah, we haven't even ran into the cake yet.

Ernie: Well here's your chance.

Bulk runs into Ernie's cake.

THE END

(C) 2003 Phill. Enterprises

NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS...

Billy falls in Luu-ave with a homely babe who is just a smart and annoying as he is and opens Pandora's Box with a jealous Kimberly!

Some homely girl with long straight hair with a long skirt and pinned up sweater walks into the junk-food bar as Billy runs into her.

Billy: My apologies!

Margerine: Negative! I was unaware of my biological motions causing me to deviate from my course. What's your name?

Billy: Billy.

Marge: Oh, my name is Margerine, but you can call me Marge.

...But Rita has other plans for the Pathetic Rangers!

Rita: Let's make a monster to beat up Billy.

Baboo: But why? Blue-Nosed Ranger is a whimp, weenie, puny, skimpy, sorry excuse for a...

Rita: Because I wanna, now shut up!

Finster: Rita, how's about we take another approach? Instead of using another lousy clay-monster, what if I bring my aunt?

Rita: And just who the heck is she?

Finster: Her name is Moe. She has a bowl-like hairdo, with a treasure troll crystal that can allow her to control the elements as well as drain brains.

Will Madame Moe finally do what everybody else has promised to do? Will Kimberly get over her odd feelings for Billy? Do we all really care? Find out on the next episode of the Pathetic Rangers!