Episode 1: "WHAT? THIS STUFF IS REAL?"

Opening Sequence
Scene1: Downtown Tokyo

(People are leading their normal lives when an explosion suddenly occurs. We see some gaudily clad clay-like soldiers come out and terrorize the population, and a cheesy looking monster comes out.)

Monster: All right Rangers! Let's see what you can do!

(We see the five Rangers come to the scene in their motorcycles, then dismount. They start posing, then the Red Ranger cries "let's get them!" and a fight scene ensues. The Red Ranger starts out by going one-on-one with the monster. It lunges at him, while Red Ranger leaps and dodges the charge. Turning around, he grabs the monster and tosses him to a nearby wall, through which the monster crashes through. Several soldiers charge at Red Ranger, and he executes a difficult spin kick which knocks about five soldiers out one by one. After that, he stops and poses.)

Offscreen voice: CUT!!! CUT!!!

(Background music switches to a more comedic tone, and the scene is revealed to be a TV set. The actors take off their helmets, and we see KOTARO ICHIMONJI, the stuntman playing the Red Ranger in costume for the first time.)

Kotaro: Okay, what we do wrong this time? We timed the kicks right, didn't we?

Director: No, it was fine this time, but look at THIS!!! (points to the Red Ranger costume's back, where a zipper flap was not fixed properly, showing the zipper within.) Couldn't you at least check if your costume was put on right? Kids today are sophisticated! They want REALISM! Now have wardrobe fix up that costume and let's do it again. (we see NORIKO TANAKA come in for the first time, making adjustments to the Rangers' costumes. Also, TAKUYA WAKAMATSU enters, bringing in some equipment and we see him close up. KENJI MIYAUCHI comes in, too, reattaching the mini-explosives to Kotaro's costume.)

Director: This was so much easier during the Go Ranger days...(SUSUMU SOGA appears)

Susumu: Can we film our scene now, sir? The guys and I have had our makeup on for over an hour.

Director: (to Susumu) Now that you mentioned it, wasn't this scene supposed to show you guys INJURED? HIGASHIYAMA! (MISA HIGASHIYAMA enters) Get your people to put more wounds on Soga and the others.

Susumu: And for this I studied at Guilliard...how did I let my agent talk me into this! A sentai show... blazes, I knew I should have gone to Daiho instead. Maybe I could have gotten cast in a REAL film.(walks towards makeup room)

Takuya: (whispering to Kotaro and Noriko) Obnoxious jerk.

Noriko: Sorry 'bout this Kotaro, now you have to reshoot this scene.

Misa: (passing by) Hey you guys, cheer up, at least you got the kicks right this time.

Kenji: As if Mr. Susumu Soga actually cares. All that dweeb cares about is his good looks. No appreciation at all for us behind-the-scenes guys.

Kotaro: I just wish that these the #@)$&*)!$ suits and powers were real so that I won't screw up the next take!

(Unknown to everyone, an unusual pod crashes nearby, and we see electronic buttons and lights on the pod light up, while Kotaro's last words... "suits and powers...real" reverberating over and over again...and a closeup on the "Action Changer" wrist props shows them beginning to glow...)

EPISODE TITLE: "WHAT? THIS STUFF IS REAL?"

Scene 2: The Space Fortress Apocalypse

(JIN GAVAN is being held by two faceless goons, the ROKUTROOPS, meanwhile, WARLORD ZEVAUGHN enters, with LADY HEIMA and the silver-clad KNIGHT TERROR following him. )

Zevaughn: Your effort was pathetically futile, Jin Gavan. We have managed to locate your precious Miracle Machine on Earth.

Gavan: By the time you get there, it will be lost forever! I programmed it to hide itself once I detected your arrival on planet Eltar.

Heima: Do not think that we will not stop at nothing to find your invention. Once we have it, we can conquer the universe!

Knight Terror: Besides, the Earth is such a primitive planet, that it will be easily conquered by my Rokutroop army! I mean, if we were able to destroy Eltar...

Gavan: (clenches his fist) You'll pay for this...

Zevaughn: I think not. If anything, you will be rewarded for your development of this device. Imagine, the transformation of thought processess to actual reality. Why, brilliance such as yours should be nurtured, not extinguished.

Gavan: I'd rather perish than use my knowledge for your evil schemes.

Zevaughn: Watch your tongue, insolent scientist! You just might get your wish...

Rokutroop: (approaches Zevaughn and bows): Lord Zevaughn! We have stationed ourselves on Earth orbit, and RagnaClaw is ready to search for the missing Miracle Machine.

Zevaughn: Proceed then! Knight Terror! You'd better go and supervise the Rokutroops as well. Find that Miracle Machine! Bring it back!

KT: By your leave!(disappears)

Zevaughn: Well, Lady Heima, the Miracle Machine is about to be in our grasp. What do you think we should do with this sniveling schoolboy?

Heima: Maybe he would like to live long enough to see his Machine fulfill it's fullest potential by helping us rule the entire cosmos!

Gavan: Don't think that I am not prepared to stop you! (Breaks from the hold of the two Rokutroops and activates a device on his wrist, teleporting him out of Fortress Apocalypse.)

Zevaughn: Curses! He was only pretending to be injured!

Heima: If he reaches the Miracle Machine first, he could render it useless to us!

Zevaughn: Bah! He is but one man, who can possibly help him? Those stupid earthmen?

Scene 3: Back at the set.

(Everyone is getting ready for another take.)

Director: Okay people, we can't afford another blooper. Let's finish this Red Ranger fight sequence. Is everything okay?

Kenji: The explosives are set, sir.

Takuya: We've fixed the walls again, sir.

Noriko: (to herself) hmmm, why can't I find the zipper flap? Oh well, Kotaro probably fixed it so well so we won't screw up again...(to the director) Everything ready here, sir!

Misa: Makeup done, sir!

Kotaro: (to himself) Man, I wanna get this scene done. I gotta go to the bathroom...(to the director) we're okay!

Director: Okay! LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

(The fight scene starts again, with Red Ranger doing the stunts effortlessly!)

Director: Good! GOOD! That's the way to do it!

(Meanwhile, Rokutroops, along with RagnaClaw, appear and start trashing the set. Kotaro is thrown out of the set and is electrocuted on a nearby neon billboard!)

RagnaClaw: Where is the Miracle Machine? Tell us or die!

Director: Hey, this is GOOD! But why isn't it in the script?

Misa: Hey, those aren't our bad guys! I would never use that color combination! Gross!

Noriko: Hey, those costumes are COOL! Wait, THOSE AREN'T COSTUMES!

Kenji: That's because they're REAL! !

Takuya: Well, they may be real, but our Ranger isn't! Let's get out of here and see if he's okay!

Kenji: Come on guys, that was a NEON sign! No one could have survived that!

Noriko: Well, hopefully the costume insulated him even just a bit!

Misa: Then let's go see, while we have a chance!( The four sneak away, while other s on the set scatterm, but the Director and Susumu are held hostage)

(Knight Terror appears)

KT: I am Knight Terror of the Ragnarok Army. Tell us the location of the Miracle Machine! Our scanners indicated that it landed near here. Tell us or die!

Susumu: We don't know what you're talking about!

Director: Yes, we were just making a TV show!

KT: It doesn't matter. Rokutroops! Go find that Machine! RagnaClaw, go "ask" more humans where the Machine is!

(The monsters do as told)

Scene 4: Somewhere outside the set.

Kotaro: (in costume) Whoa! What hit me? Hey! I'm alive? But this suit is just spandex! (gets up and sees the MIRACLE MACHINE) What's this?

Gavan: (from behind) : That is the Miracle Machine.

Kotaro: You speak Japanese?

Gavan: Thanks to my universal translator, yes. Of course, how the Ragnarok Army does it, I don't know.

(At this point, Misa, Noriko, Takuya and Kenji arrive and stagger at the sight of a non-injured Kotaro)

Misa: You're okay?!?

Noriko: Whoa! I knew there was something weird about that costume!

Kotaro: Miracle Machine?

Gavan: First, let me take us six to somewhere less disturbing... (teleports to a hidden cavern)

Scene 5: a hidden cavern

Kotaro: (struggling to take the suit off, but can't even unfasten the helmet) Man, I really got to go answer the call of nature! But I can't take this suit off!!!

Kenji: (thinks) Hey, why don't you try "action cutting" back to normal? Like you do in the takes.

Gavan: Takes?

Takuya: Well, I don't know what you don't know, Mr. alien sir, but we're just employees of Hoei, a TV company.

Gavan: Never mind that, I'm sure you can explain all this to me later. What's important right now is that you, warrior clad in red, must help me. I believe you were referred to as "Red Ranger".

Kotaro: No way, dude, this is just a costume. This is like just make believe!

Kenji: Then try taking the costume off...with the zipper.

Noriko: There is no zipper!

Kenji: Just as I thought. Remember how you wished the costumes were real? Well, Mr. Alien here...

Gavan: My name is Jin Gavan. Call me Jin.

Kenji: Jin here, called that contraption there (points to Miracle Machine) a "Miracle Machine." You don't suppose.

Gavan: You used the miracle machine to give yourself superhuman powers. Now it's useless until it recharges.

Misa: No way! This stuff's for real? (pokes Red Costume)

Takuya: Hey, he's ALIVE, isn't he?

Kotaro: I didn't feel a thing. Hey, lemme try that "action cutter!" thing. ACTION CUTTER! (changes back to normal, with an Action Changer wristband on his wrist. (where else?)

Noriko: The sentai suit! It's become real!

Kenji: That means, we can use the powers to beat those guys!

Gavan: All of you must guard this miracle machine until it charges enough power to be functional.

Kotaro: Excuse me... (goes outside, presumably to take care of some urgent business.)

Takuya: Couldn't we just use this miracle machine to beat the bad guys?

Gavan: The Miracle Machine turns thought to reality. It "creates" but cannot destroy. Besides, it could take years to charge this machine now!

Kenji: Then we have to guard it until that happens.

Misa: And protect the Earth from those other aliens, too.

Noriko: But only Kotaro has a suit.

Kenji: The other Action Changers! If they've been transformed...

Takuya: They're in the prop room! We'd better get it them!

Kotaro: (Entering) Hey, if we're real life superheroes, let's give ourselves a marketable name!

Misa: Fantastic Five?

Kenji: Power Troopers?

Takuya: Superhuman CyberSquadron?

Kotaro: Hey, we're the stars of this show now, not those snobs, how about ...Tokusatsu Sentai ... STAR RANGERS!!!

Kenji: Yeah !

Noriko: Star Rangers!

(suddenly) RagnaClaw: There it is! The miracle machine!

Gavan: Oh no! No more power in my teleporter? Anyone of you have an extra quadruple a nuclear battery?

Kenji: Uh, I don't think those were invented yet...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Takuya: (to Kotaro) Don't let them know who you really are!

Kotaro: (to Takuya): Takuya, go get the other Changers, let's just meet later!

(Kotaro charges at RagnaClaw, while the other scurry off with Jin Gavan and the Miracle Machine)

RagnaClaw: Puny Human! Do you think you have a chance of defeating me?(Fight fight fight)

Scene 5: Back at the set, where Knight Terror is still guarding the place, ordering Rokutroops around.

Kenji: Okay, how do we go through this?

Noriko: Hey, Takuya, you think those bozos know that that wall is styrofoam?

Takuya: I made it realistic! I think they're fooled, or they would have torn it down now...

Misa: I know, we can put some of those explosion caps on the wall to pretend that some bomb blew off

Kenji: That'll distract them!

Noriko: Let's do it!

(Kenji and Misa go and attach some harmless explosion caps to the styroform wall, then Misa goes to one side as Kenji blows it up harmlessly, but the Rokutroops are startled, and Noriko and Takuya sneak by. Noriko then goes on to untie the Director and Susumu, while Takuya grabs the four changers in the prop room, only to see Knight Terror confront him.)

KT: Well, well well, we seem to have an intruder!

Takuya: Not my day!

(Kenji then rams KT and some Rokutroops while driving the customized jeep used for the show)

Kenji: Get in, quick!

Takuya: (getting in) I got em! (puts one on)

Kenji: (grabs one, and puts it one as Misa and Noriko get in and they drive away)

KT: You IDIOTS!!! Where is RagnaClaw and what is he doing?

(We see a beaten up Kotaro waiting for his mates, who finally arrive in the Jeep.)

Kotaro: About time you got here!

RagnaClaw: So, you've come back to die!

(Susumu is in the background, looking on)

Kotaro: Oh, forget this secret identity nonsense!

Kenji: I am inclined to agree with you!

Misa: Where's Jin?

Kotaro: I don't know, but we gotta stop this guy before he finds out more.

KT: (arriving) Troopers! Destroy those insects, but spare the one in red (Kotaro), so he can lead us to Jin Gavan!

Kotaro: NOW! (they all pose and activate their wrist devices.)

Rangers: ACTION CHANGER!!! (Transform! Susumu gasps in surprise)

Red (Kotaro): STAR RED! (poses)

Green (Takuya): STAR GREEN! (poses)

Blue (Kenji): STAR BLUE! (poses)

Yellow (Noriko) : STAR YELLOW! (poses)

Pink (Misa): STAR PINK! (poses)

Rangers: TOKUSATSU SENTAI! STAR RANGER!

KT: Star Ranger! This must be another of Jin Gavan's tricks! There are now five of them! Kill them!

Blue: Now let's see how good these prop weapons are in real life!

Red: (Brings out a Sword) Star Saber!

Green: (brings out two maces) Star Macers!

Blue: (two lances) Star Lancers!

Yellow: (two stilettos) Starlettos!

Pink: (two big guns) Star Cannons!

(The Rangers fight various rokutroops with their weapons, beating them up.)

(Several troops go up against Star Red)

Red: Plasma Fire ! (Puts hands together and fires a bolt of plasma)

Green: Power Chop! (Energizes forearms and chops)

Blue: Cyclone Screw! (Spins and strikes soldiers)

Yellow: Lightning Sequence! (fires bolts of lightning at soldiers)

Pink: Psycho Hammer! (flies in the air and charges at opponents)

(RagnaClaw appears and attacks them)

Red: Star Rangers! Let's try the team attacks!

The Rest: Roger!

Rangers: NOVA BLASTER! (they combine their guns and staves to form rifles and blast RagnaClaw)

Red: Green! Use the Penta Boomerang!

Green: Okay! PENTA BOOMERANG!

(All five bring out boomerangs, energize them and throw them into the air, where they combine into a five pointed star, which they catch and hurl at RagnaClaw)

RagnaClaw: Curses!

Red: Star Ranger! Star Energize! Rangers: Star Energize! (The five hold on to each other, charge themselves, and fire a big ball of energy, which disintegrates RagnaClaw.)

KT: RagnaClaw! Retreat Rokutroops, retreat! (they retreat)

Zevaughn: Destroy them with the Fortress! We must get the miracle machine!

Gavan: (Hidden) These Earthlings saved my life, and yet the Ragnarok Army won't stop till they get my Miracle Machine. Is it worth all this trouble? No! The Ragnarok Army must be stopped now!(he charges the Miracle Machine with energy, and hurls it at Fortress Apocalypse, making the giant ship crash underwater.)

Red: What did you do that for?

Gavan: It was the only way to make sure that the power of the Miracle Machine would never be used for evil, and to defeat Fortress Apocalypse. Hopefully, the Ragnarok Army will be unable to leave the Earth... For better or worse, you five are now the protectors of your planet. The Tokusatsu Sentai Star Rangers!

Red: Oh what the heck! ACTION CHANGER!!!

(in the background, Susumu Soga is seen to stare at the Rangers, then walks away, with the camera focusing on an action changer prop still on his wrist...)

END OF EPISODE

PREVIEW:


Red: Hello! Star Red here! In the next episode of STAR RANGERS, we'll see if the Ragnarok Army is truly paralyzed or not! What of the Miracle Machine? Is it really destroyed? And most importantly... what about the giant robot? How the heck do we get the Giant Robot? No sentai show is complete without the robot! ACTION CHANGER!