animal jokes: It's a sunny morning in a big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!" he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For gosh sakes, how many times do we have to go through this crap? I haven't made the porridge yet!" ---------------------------------------- a hotdog walks into a bar and says give me a martini and the barman says sorry cant so the hotdog says ok a pint and the reply is no so he says just water then and of corse he says no so then the cat says why not then the man says we dont serve food here. ---------------------------------------- Some zebras were standing around when one of them asked "What are we - - black with white stripes or white with black stripes.?" The chief zebra decided to go ask God. He went to God and asked "God, are zebras black or white?" God replied "You are what you are!!!" The chief zebra went back and told his herd what God said and that they were white with black stripes. When one of them asked how he came to this conclusion he replied "If we were black, God would have said you is what you is!!!" ---------------------------------------- And now its time for some classic blond jokes: What do you call a blond who dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence. ---------------------------------------- a blond goes out and buys an am fm radio and it takes her a month to find out she can play it in the pm to. ---------------------------------------- wot do u get if u put 20 blonds ear to ear? a wind tunnel. ---------------------------------------- and the last kind for now are drinking and bar jokes:These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before. The first guy said, ''Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'' The second guy said, ''Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'' The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'' Then the first guy said, ''No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!" ---------------------------------------- Three men walked into a bar.......don't you think the third one would've ducked? ---------------------------------------- Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." The other one says "so are you, you fat bastard!"