| On Technology... |
| If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it. -- Pierre Gallois Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. -- Andy Rooney Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. -- Ernie Kovacs I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere. -- Unknown Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. -- Ann Landers I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. -- Isaac Asimov For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. -- Richard Feynman |
| On The Arts... |
| "Don't judge a book by its movie."--Anon "All the world's a stage...most of us are just stagehands."-Anon "The problem with reality is the lack of background music."-Anon "To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research."-Anon Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) "The worst thing about censorship is [deleted by censorship bereau]."-Anon Anything too stupid to be said is sung. -- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. -- Rita Rudner All the world's a cage. -- Jeanne Phillips Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. -- Marilyn Monroe (1926 - 1962) Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. -- Alfred Hitchcock You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer'sheart. -- Fred Allen Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen. -- Martin Mull The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were. -- David Brinkley I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. ---Rita Rudner A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.-- G K Chesterton The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. -- Oscar Wilde Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. -- Philip Guedalla Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. -- T. S. Eliot |
| On Psychology, Counseling and Thinking Too Much... |
| Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. -- Evan Davis The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. -- Margo Kaufman "It's not an optical illusion, it just looks that way." --Anon You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. -- Ray Bradbury, advice to writers "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder." --Anon To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep. -- Joan Klempner "A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and say your mother." --Anon Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience. -- Bill Watterson "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schitzophrenic, and so am I." --Anon The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. -- Richard Feynman "Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents." --Anon There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers. -- William James (1842 - 1910) The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century. -- Dan Quayle, 9/15/88 I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? -- Ronnie Shakes Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. -- Ambrose Bierce You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --Olin Miller Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. -- H. L. Mencken Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. -- Albert Camus |
| On Honesty... |
| Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. -- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. -- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. -- Arthur C. Clarke Actions lie louder than words. -- Carolyn Wells A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for. -- W. C. Fields Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.-- Winston Churchill |
| Humorous Quotations |
| I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. -- Graffito "Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry."-Anon "Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist."-Anon "One good turn gets most of the blankets."-Anon "The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard." -Anon "Sex is nobody's business but the three people involved."--Anon Exit, pursued by a bear. -- William Shakespeare, Stage direction in "The Winter'sTale" "I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."- Mark Twain |
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