| There are some women who have a tendancy to fall in love with gay men without realizing their orientation. These women are just innately attracted to something in the character of gay men. In our society we socialize men to be tough, "masculine", individuals who are told to "feel less" then women. We teach young boys not to cry. Girls are socialized to express emotion. They are also socialized to be more sensitive, "weak" and "feminine" then boys. Often when girls reach a point where sexual relatiosnhips are desired, they seek out partners with similar qualities. It is a common idea that women want sensitive caring men. Yet, because we teach boys to repel these qualities in themselves, girls often have trouble finding someone who shares the same qualities. Gay men, however, tend to be more "feminine" in the sense that they are more likely to express emotion, feelings and such. This is due to the fact that gays in society are mocked and ridiculed by peers. Gay men are called, "Sissies", "Girly Men", and other terms meant to insult by equating men to women. Because they are associated with the traits of women, often it is easier to share those traits and allow themselves the opportunity to be emotional human beings. Many women tune into this quality as a desired characteristic of a mate, and therefor develop deep feelings for gay men. Often women who develop tendencies for this type of attraction will continue to do so even after realizing the tendency. Sometimes they even know that the men they are falling for are gay, but there is a sense of comfort in it. Though they know it will not lead to anything, it is easier to take a rejection from someone if you know the reason is not because of the person that you are, yet the orientation of the other. It assures the woman that it is not a problem in her, and also tends to lead to close friendships which are often almost as important to the woman as a relationship itself. |
