I know what you're all thinking: "Where the HELL did Paris' Random Celebrity Discussion go?!" Well, we here at Paris Hilton Presents: The Hellhole must regretfully inform you that it is no longer possible for Queen Paris to maintain her page. You see, she's not only busy being an heiress, but is also bogged down now by her musical career. Will she add platinum selling artist and grammy winner to her list of lifetime accomplishments soon? We can safely assume it's only a guarantee. Queen Paris has assured us that her influence will soon be felt on the page again, soon enough, but has imparted upon me the task of replacing her old page with something atleast half as entertaining. I know I will fail miserably, but that won't stop me from trying. So, ladies and gentleman, I now present you with my Random Lyrical Discussion page. In this page, I will take a random piece of music (if you'd like to call the songs I'll be choosing for this "music") and present to you the lyrics, with my enlightening criticisms inbetween. Our project shall be:
Fall Out Boy's Sugah We're Goin' Down Swingin'
Luis: Let me kick things off by explaining to you how idiotic the fans of this band are. Every comment posted for this video goes basically like this: "I don't understand what he's saying, but this song rocks! And the guys are so cute!" How can a song where you have no idea what the singer is saying, rock? That means the song could be about having sex with a dog, and it would be good to these 8 year old girls, only because the band members are "hot".
PS. They're not.
Am I more than you bargained for yet
Luis: Starting the song a little cocky. I like it.
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Luis: I love emo guys. "That's who I am this week?" You're the same person always. A moody little girl that thinks that you're more complex than you actually are.
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
Luis: Ohhhhh! You told her! She's nothing more than a line in your shitty song!! Damn! Look, buddy, get over it. Don't tell me you didn't know what you were getting into when you started dating the girl that your bestfriend told you gave the best head in school. She's not wife material. I'm sorry.
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
Luis: what....? Wrong team...?
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]
Luis: What the hell is a God complex, and how do you cock it and pull it? I'm pretty sure God doesn't appreciate that...
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
Luis: Um...yes. It is messed up. You need to find religion my friend. You're a loser, hanging out in some girls closet, watching her make love to a guy she cares about much more than you. Get over her, and find a girl that actually likes you. Wanting to be the friction in her jeans is especially disturbing, as I would guess that friction is coming from the other guy.
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
Luis: It's hard to come up with more insults when they just say the same things over and over. Apparently writing four lines of lyrics is enough for a song now-a-days.
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]
Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Luis: Ok, seriously, this is ridiculous. A five year old could write a better song than this. How can you wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and call yourself a musician when you write a song that contains the same lyrics fifteen times in a row? Don't you feel like a complete shit when you go to cash those checks at the bank?
We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Luis: When did rock music finally become the worst form of music imaginable? Lil' Jon is a genius compared to these assbags. Emo is a disease.