"RIGHT NOW, TERRORISTS ARE PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER IS MISSING, AND PEOPLE THAT I WORK WITH, MAY BE INVOLVED IN BOTH, I'M FEDERAL AGENT JACK BAUER, AND TODAY IS THE LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE."

The following takes place between 1 AM and 2 AM on the day of the California Presidential Primary.

Mandy: Hey Gaines, instead of that ID, I buried it and brought over my lesbian girlfriend.

Brigit: I want more money.

Gaines: Sure, but I'll blow your head off and Mandy'll be written out of the series.

Mandy: Sh!t

Baylor: Here's some info about Palmer. (gets shot)

Walsh: Help me Jack!

Jack: coming over. (arrives) There are the gunmen, lets kill 'um and cut off their thumbs. (bang, slice)

Walsh: (getting shot) Oh man, they shot me, and I thought I'd be a regular on the series.

Jack: Well, you didn't, so give me the card.

Walsh: Okay. (dies)

Jack: (hears the shots) RUNAWAY! RUNAWAY!

Palmer: Something's fishy, better call my sneaky advisor Carl.

Jack: Jamey, here's the card, I trust you can find some information for me.

Jamey: Sure thing Mr. Gaines...I mean, yeah, Nina's dirty.

Jack: What?

Jamey: Yup, she is. It's not me, not me at all.

Jack: Okay, it'll be twenty-two hours before I believe that. Did I just give something away?

Dan: Call your mom.

Kim: No.

(Dan breaks Janet's arm.)

Kim: Okay, I love you mom.

Teri: She never said that.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, less talk more kidnapping.

Teri: What did you say?

Kevin: Nothing, let's keep looking for our "daughters."

Jonathan: (humming ode to joy while shooting rats.)

1:59:57, 1:59:58, 1:59:59, 2:00:00