"RIGHT NOW, TERRORISTS ARE PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED, AND PEOPLE THAT I WORK WITH, MAY BE INVOLVED IN BOTH, I'M FEDERAL AGENT JACK BAUER, AND TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE."

 

The following takes place between 9 AM and 10 AM, on the day of the California Presidential Primary.

Cops: Please pull over the car.

Jack: Nope. (Speeds off.) Hey I got an idea, how about I sneak under a car in a small parking lot. Nobody looks under cars.

Nina: Jack, Jamey just died.

Jack: What happened, did you knock her out with chloroform and taser and slash her wrists?

Nina: No. Here's your wife.

Jack: Hi honey.

Teri: Let me get Kim.

Jack: Hey Kim.

Kim: Hey dad.

Eli: Hey you stole my phone. (picks up phone) Who is this?

Jack: This is the man who's gonna slice your (expletive deleted) and (expletive deleted) in your (expletive deleted) if you harm my wife and daughter.

Eli: That was the father wasn't it?

Rick: You really are bright, aren't you Eli?

(Eli kicks Rick in the stomach ---Good flexibility)

Nina: We tracked down a name from one of Jamey's e-mails, a man named Ted Coffel.

Jack: Not that a$$#$*& sniper from Star Bucks.

Nina: No, he's a banker who may be linked to the Draze...hit on Palmer.

Gaines: Hello.

Andre: Hello Ira, I'm upset Gaines isn't dead.

Gaines: He will be.

Andre: Well, if you don't get a handle on this situation, a bunch of less cooler bad guys will take your place.

Alberta: Hi CTU, I'm Alberta Green and I'll make CTU hell for a few hours and then leave without much explanation as I'm not important to the plot.

Frank: Palmer, we aren't happy about the Ferragamo situation.

Palmer: I'm sorry.

Frank: We need to do something sneaky.

Palmer: Sneaky...get Carl now!

Jack: Hey, it's an old college buddy here to see Coffel.

Secretary: Sorry, he's left for Denver.

Jack: Well, I'll have to hijack his limo and go a separate course.

Ted: Could you turn up the air?

Jack: Sure thing Ted.

Kim: Why'd you and dad break up?

Teri: Because he went on a mission and did something that made him very angry that won't be fully explained for another five hours. Ouch! What was that pain in my stomach?

Kim: Maybe it's Eli's.

Teri: Kim, you're an idiot.

9:59:57, 9:59:58, 9:59:59, 10:00:00