"RIGHT NOW, TERRORISTS ARE PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER HAVE BEEN TARGETED, AND PEOPLE THAT I WORK WITH, MAY BE INVOLVED IN BOTH, I'M FEDERAL AGENT JACK BAUER, AND TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE."

The following takes place between 9:00 pm and 10:00 pm, on the day of the California Presidential Primary.

Victor: I vill trade Jack for Alexis.

Mason: Can I Chapelle? Please? Pretty please? I promise not to steal any more money from drug dealers.

Chapelle: No, I'd rather let him go secretly.

Mason: But he could he tell the world that he's alive once he escapes, and that would be really bad. And don't, like, 14 characters know by now?

Chapelle: Quiet, you. It's "24", not "22". Duh.

Mason: I see.

Drazens: A Slavic restaurant! No one will find us here!

Nina: Help Jack, and ignore any strange telephone sounds.

Palmer: What?

Nina: Nothing.

Palmer: Help Jack, and I'll give you a big promotion when I'm elected.

Mason: Why would I want a new position?

Palmer: Well, for starters, CTU isn't a real organization.

Mason: I see.

Tony: I can't tell Teri that Kim was kidnapped, it would break her little heart. I mean, I don't want to hurt her. Heck, I didn't even want to be a federal agent. What I really wanted to be was... A lumberjack!

Nina: Hey, the Python references are TickTock's trademark.

Tony: Sorry.

Jack: Hah! I'm holding a young lady hostage! You can't touch me!

Victor: Quiet, you. (shoots Mila)

Jack: I see.

Mason: Getting evil terrorist out of hospital...

Nikola: You killed my daughter. You're going to pay!

Victor: Quiet, you. (shoots Nikola)

Nikola: I see. (dies)

Nina: Okay, Teri, we're going to release a dangerous terrorist to save Jack.

Teri: Yay! Can I talk to Kim?

Nina: Quiet, you

Teri: I see.

Nina: I feel like I'm not doing my job. (GIANT SIGN reading "CLUE! CLUE! CLUE!" emerges from ceiling)

Jack: How is killing various people helping you?

Drazens: Quiet, you.

Jack: I see.

Monica Lew- I mean, Patty: I'm flirting with you. (looks at Sherri)

Palmer: I see.

Andre: When we get Alexis, you'll be freed. We have snipers.

Jack: Why don't just have some guy with a gun stand next to me?

Andre: Quiet, you.

Jack I see.

Patty: I feel guilty seducing Palmer.

Sherry: It's for his own good.

Patty: But I don't want-

Sherry: Ni! Ni!

Patty: Stop, please! I'll do whatever you want! And stop stealing TickTock's idea.

Dwasa: Sorry.

Sherry: Quiet, you.

Dwasa: I see.

Mason: Here's Alexis.

Drazens: Yay!

Mason: (Reading from "Hostage Negotiating for Idiots") Wait, shouldn't we get Jack now?

Drazens: Quiet, you.

Mason: I see.

Andre: If you want to see your daughter again, you will bring this phone to Palmer.

Jack: Why can't you just call him at his hotel? They can't trace cell phones that quickly, as I learned at 9:00am this morning.

Andre: Quiet, you.

Jack: I see.

9:59:57, 9:59:58, 9:59:59, 10:00:00