"RIGHT NOW, TERRORISTS ARE PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE A
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER HAVE BEEN TARGETED, AND PEOPLE
THAT I WORK WITH, MAY BE INVOLVED IN BOTH, I'M FEDERAL AGENT JACK BAUER, AND
TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE."
The
following takes place between
Nina: They destroyed Alexis' tracker.
George: Don't you think the terrorists would've
killed me when I traded him. They wouldn't do that to their own people.
Tony: Hey, I found evidence that the prison map
was altered and it says "Mason Rocks" on it.
Nina: OK, let's cut him off.
Andre: OK, now I want you to drive to Palmer's
hotel. I'll call you later.
Jack: You know, if you didn't fire Gaines, he
might've taught you something. When I worked with him, I had this earphone.
Andre: Stop it.
Palmer: Hey Patty, why don't we go upstairs, away
from this two hour rendition of "Celebration" and get to know each
other.
Patty: OK.
Sherry: The pieces are going into checkmate.
Patty: Let's start lovin'.
Palmer: You're fired.
Patty: What?
Palmer: Get out.
Bill Clinton: Hey, I could use you as an intern
in my office in
Jack: Hey Palmer, it's me, they're going to call
us after I've stopped talking. (bring) Hello?
Victor: Mr. Bauer, put Palmer on.
Palmer: Hello.
Jack: Oh $h!t. (throws it blows up) Wait, I left
Andre's phone in the van and...(BOOM) We need you to do me a big favor and play
dead.
Sherry: They won't vote for him as a corpse.
Palmer: They had Reagan for 8 years. (no offense
Republicans)
Jack: You killed Palmer, now let me come take
Kim's place.
Victor: We already made the mistake of taking her
duct tape off, well, come to the dock.
Alexis: Hey wait, I didn't get to die. Oh there
it goes. (dies)
Mason: Everybody, Palmer died, what can I say?
Oops, well, let's all go home and go to bed.
Kim: Thanks for taking the duct tape off my
mouth, could I get some coffee?
One inept guard: OK.
Kim: Could you bend forward, great.
Throws it at inept guard.
Kim: RUNAWAY RUNAWAY!
(for old time's sake)
Andre: You'll drown.
Kim: No way, I missed the Wb
tonight because of you. (jumps in the water)
Mason: Hey, guess what? Palmer isn't dead.
Andre: Now what do we do? (phone rings) Hello.
Yelena: I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza
with some garlic bread.
Andre: Yel, this is Andre.
Nina: Oh sorry, you have one digit off the pizza
place and I didn't get that McMuffin eighteen hours ago, anyway, just thought
you should know that I, Jack's most loyal subjects, is the betrayer, not Mason,
Tony or Chappelle. And Palmer's playing dead for the girl. (to the audience)
How's that for a mind (expletive deleted)
10:59:57,