The following takes place between
*Kim runs "Baywatch" theme plays,
starts running in slow mo.
Producer #1: Hey isn't this a real time show?
What's with the slow mo?
Producer #2: Shut up. Elisha.
*drools*
Kim: Get away from Megan.
Thug #1: RUNAWAY! She may have a tire iron.
Megan: I was looking for you. *cries*
Kim: Hey dad pick us up?
Jack: I can't.
Kim: Why, are you secretly working with some
right wing wackos who'll destroy you former office?
Jack: No. Go to Aunt Carol's. Eddie what are we
going to do?
Eddie: We're gonna walk
down to
Telephone guys arrive, Eddie shoots the white
guy.
Eddie: Nope, we're breaking stereotypes.
Eddie: You're going to be the guy who we're going
to use and THEN kill.
Jack: Lynne, stuff's gonna
get blow'd up bad.
Lynne: Oh no, we need to inform the prez.
Eric: No, he broke his hand,
I mean he's at a press conference.
Lynne: Those people are going to die.
Eric: We can't let them know. Hold on a second
(on phone with Tony) OK Tony, I'm going to need all your data related to the
nuke, any leads and your choice of epitaphs.
Mason: Hey guys, told ya
I'm not a pu$$y. So what's
up here?
(Big sign with lettering "We are not
affiliated with 2nd Wave at All." adorns the wall of the building.)
Mason: Oh s---!
Guy starts shooting, cop kills him.
Mason: Hey, you spilt the glowing green stuff. (pauses) Uh oh.
Megan: How'd your mommie
die?
Kim: Nina short her.
Megan: Really I heard it was Tony, or Mason, or
that it was a miscarriage and she izunt dyed.
Kim: Nope. She's dyed.
PI: Well, the picture of Reza at Osama Bin Laden's Ramadan party
isn't good, Kate please panic at the site of anyone from the middle
east.
Reza: Kate, wanna go
out and get some things for the wedding?
Kate: BACK OFF!!! AAHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!
*runs, hides in closet*
Marie: Vy are jo akting
so veerd? Oh sorry, Why are
you acting so weird? This is going to be the happiest day of my life.
Kate: It might be the last day of your life.
Eddie: Jack, tell him.
Jack: We're patriots.
Jack: No we're patriots, especially when I impale
all three of these goons with an American flag. (goons
leave) OK, take this note to Tony Almedia.
Jack: Do I need to get my hacksaw out again?
HAZMAT Dude: Strip.
Mason: Sorry girls, you don't get Kiefer, but you
get this.
Bwow-chik-a-bow (OK, I'm stopping this.)
Paula: I have friends and family here.
Michelle: No s---, this is LA. It's not some
small town up in
Lynne: We need to tell Palmer.
Eric: No we don't.
Lynne: Are you threatening me?
Eric: Kinda, warming up
the oven for that b---- Sherry to make her return.
Tony: You know, it's a
little suspicious for them to ask for epitaphs for everyone. (pause) Everyone, RUNAWAY! RUNAWAY! Paula, get the f--- off
the computer!
Kim: We're safe Megan.
Megan: Um, this is 24, not 3. We're not done yet.
BOOM!
Tony: HOLY S--- CTU got blow'd
up real good! Is GBT sorta
dyed?
Kim: These people are sleeping, with ketchup.
HD: Mason, I got good news and bad news, good news
is your clean. Bad news is the plutonium you breathed
is going to kill you, which kinda renders the first
one useless, Eh?
10: