The following takes place between 11 AM and 11:01 AM on some day not important enough to deserve a title.

Michelle: Oh no (kneels over dead body) my Tony, I never got to tell him my undying...

Tony: Let's get this guy some air. Michelle, what were you going to say?

Michelle: Nothing, oh no, Paula's trapped.

Paula: I knew people didn't like me, but this is a little over the top.

Kim: Megan, things are going to be OK.

Megan has a seizure.

Kim: Oh s---.

Mason: What can I expect?

HD: Well, aside from your skin melting off, your intestines exploding, your brain leaking out your ears, your eyeballs.

Mason: OK I get it, I'm in bad shape.

Palmer: Well, there's nothing we can do now, 19 extras, I mean agents are dead.

BODY COUNT CLICKER starts spinning 19 times.

Palmer: Well, it's good we didn't recieve the call 50 minutes ago but the message never got to me because one aide was scared of another aide, right Lynne?

Eddie: We did it and we're going to get away with it.

Jack: No you're not, this is Jack BAUER you're speaking with.

Chris: FTS, let's shoot him.

Jack: Cowboy, do you think that you're actually going to kill me with your gun? How man gun fights was I involved in last year? Only the next to last one involved me getting any kind of real bodily harm, here, let me shoot you guys with my eyes closed.

(Shoots, kills Cowboy Chris, Scott and Eddie.)

Jack: I better go to Resolved Plot Holes Auto Glass Shop. (Calls CTU) Hey Mich, why didn't CTU get evacuated?

Michelle: We didn't know.

Jack: That's total crap, anyway, I'm going to Joe Wald's house. How's Kim.

Michelle: Dunno. Was she supposed to be here?

Jack: Yes, go find her!

Nurse: I'm sorry, but based the X-rays, we need to bring the police in.

Kim: Haven't you seen the first 3 episodes?

Nurse: Sorry, I watch Smallville.

Kim: (Screams) NOOOO!

Eric: Can we discuss our evacuation of LA plan?

Palmer: What, the paper with 'Panic' written in large red letters?

Kate: Reza may be a terrorist.

Bob: No he isn't, I had "my people" checked him out and he isn't a terrorist. So why don't you join him for an awkward drive?

Reza: Hey Kate, what's the matter, we're driving in a neighborhood in the middle of the day, why are you so nervous?

Kate: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!

Reza: I just wanted to show you the house. (Kate sighs a little bit. Reza mutters) Crazy b----.

Jack: Hey Joe (laughs, bites lip) yeah, the other guys are dead.

Joe: What happened?

Jack: (pulls gun) I shot them.

Joe: Oh s---. Sic 'em Fluffy.

(Jacks shoots Fluffy)

Forum member: OMG he shot the dog!

Jack: Dog or LA? You choose.

Kim: Stand up to Captain Pervert.

Carla: No, besides, he was telling me about you and me and him.

Kim: Knock it off Megan needs you.

Carla: OK I'm going. (opens door, CP stands there.) Oh this isn't going to be good.

Palmer: I heard you got the call.

Lynne: Eric's being mean. I want out.

Palmer: No, let's throw Rayburn into that sound proof booth. (Eric enters)

Eric: You wanted to see me.

Palmer: Get the f--- outta dodge.

Eric exits

Tony: Good, Paula's going to get her surgery.

Mason: No she's not, she has a code. We need to keep her here.

Tony: (saddened) I hired her, and she might die.

Michelle: Don't worry, you did everything you could.

("Let's Get it On" starts playing, both look at a medical worker with a boombox playing it.)

Worker: Sorry, carry on.

Jack: Joe let me in.

Joe is silent.

Jack: Please, with sugar on top? I'll be your friend.

Door opens.

Joe: Here are the pictures of the woman who helped us get into CTU.

Jack: Heidi Klum?

Joe: Oh wait, wrong folder. (takes Jack's folder labeled "Victoria's Secret models" hands him another one) Now if you'll excuse me I gotta blow my brains out.

Bang! Splatter.

Jack: NO! Actually I got what I wanted. Let's see these pics. Building, building, building, guys, guys, Nina, building, building, wait a minute. NINA! Oh s---.

11:00:57, 11:00:58, 11:00:59, 11:01:00