The following takes place between 12:00 pm and 12:01 pm on a day not important enough to deserve a title.

Mason: Paula needs to wake up. She's gotta get killed off. Tony, where are you going?

Tony: To check out a lead.

Mason: Can't we send GBT?

Tony: Sure, him or any of the other 28 dead agents.

Jack: George, I found out who gave Joe's crew the info.

Mason: Who?

Jack: Nina.

Mason: Hmm, I knew I shouldn't have married her. Anyway, good work Jack, I think that's all we're gonna need from you. I'll be the star of the next 19 episodes.

Jack: Yeah, and I suppose you think you're gonna be the star of season 3?

Mason: Well, no, but at least I'll be the star with my remaining time...I mean the remaining time. -cough, cough-

Roger: Hi, don't worry, Mr. President. I'm here. That b*tch Rayburn's gone, but don't be surprised if I'm just as suspicious.

Palmer: Don't worry, I'll trust anything or anyone for a while, including this report that says the Port of Los Angeles is a likely target, in which half of the explosion will occur over the ocean. Just what a terrorist is looking to do.

Marko: Yea! Finally, another scene.

Basheer: We'll get more camera time if we fill up slowly.

Bystander: Hey, you Muslim freaks, hurry up and move that thing.

Editor: Uh oh, offensive content. Can't have that. Gotta cut the scene.

Marko: Dammit.

Gary: I've screwed with Carla's head. It's over, Kim.

Kim: I'm not leaving until I get Megan out of here so she can have another seizure and die.

Jack: Damn, look at this place. Where are Clark and Ives at?

Mason: Where do you think? Please leave, Jack.

Jack: This ain't your show.

Mason: I'm sure I coulda done this over the phone while you were on your way to the hospital, but business is business, you gotta die. Tell Michelle in which partition the key is?

Paula: You can look for a file name and select searching all the hard drive partitions at once, you idiots. (dies)

Kate: Reza, if you could get all those bags yourself, did you really need me to go with you?

Reza: Well, I wanted you to come, so I could give you a little scare.

Kate: And now to give you a little scare in return. Someone's here to see you. Someone from CTA.

Reza: CTA? WTF is that?

Ambassador: Don't worry about a thing. You can trust me and my buddy Salim.

Palmer: Yeah, I trust everybody immediately, so I'm up for sharing intel.

Roger: Uh, Mr. President....they're Middle Eastern.

Palmer: What do you think, Lynne?

Lynne: I don't trust people from the Middle East.

Editor: Since they're not doing any name-calling, we'll keep this scene.

Palmer: Thank you.

Kim: I gotta save Megan, Dad.

Jack: Screw 'er. Leave. Go to Aunt Carol's and don't tell anyone the classified info that there's a nuke in LA. I'll be there soon and let everyone think I'm letting Mason take over.

Kim: THERE'S A NUKE IN LA?

Jack: Quiet, you.

Kim: I see.

Nina: I want a full pardon. I'm gonna be the next Irina Derevko.

Mason: Sure, whatever you want. Palmer promised me a promotion, so I'm ok with his promising you a pardon.

Tony: Why is Ali's name in your computer?

Reza: I'm innocent. You more than anyone should know that the dirty characters use PCs. This is a Mac.

Bob: Distract your sister.

Kate: OK. (does the same strange dance that Tony and Nicole did last afternoon)

Michelle: OK, Jack, you're supposed to leave now.

Jack: I thought I made this clear already. Oh well, I'll flip a coin. Heads, I stay. Tails, I don't leave. (flips heads)

Kim: Miguel. I need your hot Latin body.

Miguel: Ooh, yeah!

Mason: Hmm, I'm gonna conveniently leave these pills behind. Dammit, Jack. Leave already.

Marie: Kate, you b*tch. WTF did you do?

Kate: I'm so sorry. I'm sooooo sorry.

Marie: Get the f*** outta here.

Kim: Where the hell is the car? It's gonna be difficult to kidnap Megan and then hail a cab without getting caught.

Miguel: Why the hurry?

Kim: There's a nuclear bomb...I mean a new clear balm that I wanted to go to the store and buy. It helps keep my breasts supple.

Miguel: Oh my God! There's a nuke?!!!! Agghhhh, we gotta leave now.

Kim: God, you're a pus$y. I guess it's what I deserve for dating a pop star.

Mason: For the last time, Jack, leave!!!!!!!

Jack: I'm taking over the interrogation. I'm blackmailing you again, but since Nina's not helping me with it, I won't be shooting you with a tranq.

Mason: What do you mean?

Jack: You forgot to take your pills, literally. And I made some calls. And not that it matters anymore, but I've finally linked you with Darcet.

Mason: Dammit.

Lynne: Salim and the Ambassador just took off. I feel everything will be fine.

Roger: Yes, everything is going according to plan...he he. I mean, everything's fine, Mr. President..... oh wait. FOX News, the most reliable source of information on the planet, reports that the Ambassador's helicopter has crashed.

Nina: Hah, look at me. I'm on TV. And I'm gonna get away scot-free.

Jack: Don't count on it, b*tch.

12:00:57, 12:00:58, 12:00:59, 12:01:00