At long, long, long last, I got to see "The Return of the King." Now keep in mind that this movie had a simultaneous worldwide release in every country not still draping bearskins on caves for shelter excepting Italy, which got it a week after everyone else presumably because the delivery company hawked the reels for two boxes of American smokes, and Japan, which apparently vowed not to get it until Father Time himself awoke, thus heralding the end of the world as we know it. Confessing to friends that it still had not come out here felt like it should be followed by "but we're all very excited about these new bronze-tipped weapons and tools that we have begun to use!" Regardless, I have now finally seen it, and as I heard from all of you so many times, it was just amazing; I expected to be scandalized by the fact that the Shire remained thoroughly unscoured, but as with all the changes Jackson made, since differences are inevitable when one person retells another's story, they don't detract from the overall enjoyability of the work. I mean, yes, the first Gollum monologue went on a little too long, yes, Indur Dawndeath's dispatch was not as much of a turn in the tide of the battle as it should have been, and yes, the repetition of the moth thing was a little cheesy, but these are all extrememly minor complaints out of what was otherwise a completely unbroken three-and-a-half hour fun extravaganza. I will even admit to being thoroughly enthralled by the suspense and drama of the, well, the entire movie, even though I knew full well what was coming. I will certainly see it again in the next week or so, and fully expect to enjoy it just as much the second time.
I am most interested in seeing the extended edition of this movie, actually - the other two extended editions, though fully four hours each, were such more complete movies than their non-extended counterparts that they are definitely worth the time investment. I know that the extended Return of the King will have a death sequence for Saruman, which I expect to be very lame, but other than that I foresee only goodness so palpable that it could be put in a sock and used to strike burglars over the tender portions of the head.
Incidentally, I'm just going to pretend I didn't know Indur Dawndeath by name even though it was never mentioned in the movie, and I'm pretty sure not even in the books. Yeah, look - just try to pretend you didn't have some massively geeky preoccupation as a tween.
Oh yeah, happy Valentine's Day, I guess.
Today's Engrish is brought to you by Himeji Castle, still unrivaled champion of Having No Clue What English Looks Like.
- Gyaa! I'm give up
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