So I apologize for how unmanageably long the last post was. Normally I try to read over my posts, but I couldn't even get through that one. If you did, well, give yourself a cookie.
Imagine my surprise yesterday morning when I awoke to find a pair of panties on my balcony. Now imagine my curiousity turning rapidly into paranoia: who put them there? Why? Is this a sign that my blood diamond deal with the International Panty Brigade has gone sour? Why won't the panties leave me alone? So, I threw them over to my neighbor's side of the balcony (divided by a bathroom-stall-style wall) and hoped to leave it at that. But what a fool I was. When I came back in the afternoon, the panties were back, grinning evilly at me. Desperate and noting that the wind had finally died down from its all-day gustiness, I threw them back over again. As of this writing, that is where the event rests, but if there's one thing I've learned from my dealings with panties, it's that they are not to be trusted to stay put.
On Education
There is a middle school across the river from me. That is to say, the forces of evil have opened up a hellmouth across the river from me and populated it with the Middle Schoolers of Satan for the express purpose of destroying the precious moments of beauty sleep I used to get from 9 to 11 in the morning. On Sunday, they held some sort of incomprehensible sports festival that jolted me out of sleep at 9:30 with a blared rendition of The Chicken Dance that didn't end for 5 HOURS, interspersed with other equally annoying musical tidbits. Every morning since then, they have played horrifically loud sports from nine to eleven (or later)- the exact hours through which I used to enjoy sleeping. Coincidence? I think not. I'm not sure what kind of education is going on here, but they are clearly more bent on robbing me of well earned sleep than filling their little minds with the fruits of knowledge. I bet they replaced the time they would otherwise have spent teaching history with this Number One Sports Super Extravaganza.
13:24 - An Update - They've been at it for 4 and a half hours today with no signs of slowing. Why am I alive?
Lastly, pay close attention to the product that you see to your right. Is she pulling her soul out of her nose? Is she performing some voodoo hex? Personally, I think she's demonstrating the fashionable new Japanese way to indicate interest in someone of the opposite sex.
