Title: Love and Other Musings

Author: Zenia

Pairing: Angel/Doyle

Rating: NC-17

Series/Sequel: Part 1 of “Musings” series

Email: ztovarich@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, never will be, I’m sorry to say.

Warning: Angst below.

Love and Other Musings

By Zenia

Summer days in LA could be the worst, hot and sticky and unbearable, even for a vampire. He tried to stay in, but it could get boring. Bored, read a book, listen to music, watch reruns of Dark Shadows on the SciFi channel. So why was he here in Doyle's apartment staring down at him as he slept? Okay, so maybe he was taking the stalking thing just a bit to seriously. He should go because what would happen if Doyle woke up? But he couldn't leave.

He stared at Doyle, flushed and sweaty, sprawled on top of crumpled sheets, wearing only boxers. This was stupid, just....stupid. He laid one hand on Doyle's chest, imagining what would happen if he would open his eyes.

Come on Doyle, open your eyes.

And, almost as if he could hear the silent plea, his eyelids fluttered open.

"Angel?" His voice was thick with sleep.

He put a finger to his lips. "Don't, just don't." He didn't want words now, he just wanted to taste him, to feel him.

In one movement Angel was straddling Doyle's hips, ignoring the startled moan. He leaned down and kissed him, coaxing the demon's mouth open with his tongue. Doyle grabbed his upper arms, then slid his hands up to cradle his face. Angel kissed him harder, wanting to draw blood, steal his breath, make him come. He broke the kiss, sudden enough to leave Doyle gasping. Angel pressed his lips to Doyle's chest, nuzzled a nipple, and tried to ignore the erratic pounding of the demon's heart. Tried to ignore the ache in own.

Touch Doyle, kiss Doyle, but never fuck Doyle. Because there was love here, oh yes, and he'd learned with Buffy hadn't he, that the price was too much to be paid.

He licked at the sweat that pooled on his stomach, pretending that he didn't notice that it had the same sharp tang as blood. He could smell Doyle's arousal, deep and dark and perfect. He slid lower and lower, till he was between Doyle's parted thighs. He pressed his mouth there, feeling hands grab at his hair, listening to sobs that begged for more. And....

"More Angel please. God, please!"

Angel ripped the boxers, he'd buy him some more, and took the head into his mouth. Using his tongue and the unrelenting pressure of suction, brought him off. He swallowed the taste of Doyle, then kissed his inner thigh. There was love here, and he was a fool.

He crawled off the bed and stood. He was hungry and aroused, and the taste of semen was still in his mouth, and more than anything he wanted to bury himself inside of Doyle's body. That couldn't happen, but it would if he didn't go.

"Angel, stay." Eyes pleaded with him.

"I have to leave. I-I'm sorry. I just, I'm sorry." And he walked out, because he had to, because that was life, because that was love.