"Your son is in the office, can you please come to the school?"
These are words that are forever inscribed in my brain and my heart.
The first time I ever heard them, my older son was 5,
and he was in his third day of kindergarten.
We had, since birth, realized that we were blessed
with one of God's more "active" children.
As a "preemie" weighing in at 3 pounds 8 ounces, he had been a "go gett'em", fighting little kid.
Once home, at age one month, he set his pace and his schedule and we followed him.
From the day he came home from the hospital, like ANY new parents, LIFE as
we HAD known it would never be the same.
But, in the case of our son , we were totally unprepared for what we had been blessed with,
He was a "Breath-Holder".
Our pediatrician told us to ignore him. Easy to say!!!!
Then he suggested that we throw cold water in his face!!!
Well, after seven months of heart stopping incidents I did just that one day.....
and it WORKED....
But it broke MY heart.

Here was this tiny little baby, eating 2 oz of milk every three hours,
who slept very little and never took a nap after he was three months old.
He was climbing at age 7 months and at a year was found on top of the refrigerator
(a neat feat considering he could not yet walk!!!)

At the age of 20 months he climbed OVER three gates (they were required
on all rooms and exits) got the door open (standing on gate) and fell down a flight of stairs!
"Sesame Street" made its television debut when he was around 2 years old.
I prayed it would attract his attention so I could sit down for a few minutes.
It did not. He was all over the house, into and on everything.
BUT he then later would recite word for word what had happened on the show!!!
At three he pulled a chair to the door, stood on his tip-toes, and with a steak knife managed to undo the chain lock located at the top of the door.....He was returned to us at 7:30 AM by the grounds keeper of the apartment complex, who found him wandering around three blocks from home!!!
Our doctor told us then that our son had was Hyperactive.
I knew what hyperactive meant....and that he was for sure. OK, what do we do about it? His reply? NOTHING NOW....Our hearts sank.
He explained that there were medications that could control his behavior
but that they would not prescribe them until he was in school.br> So for another two years we lived with a bouncing, constant
motion machine that rarely slept and had a temperment that
drove us mad at times.
I never ever believed in spanking a child.
I could never understand a mother hitting a child in public.
But, as our son grew and developed I began to understand...
did I ever......but I never did it because I was not into violence.
There were trips to the store when he would vanish. We developed a list of "favorite places" to find him.....Such as:
1) ANY public restroom was a playroom
2) ANY store with an elevator or escalator was fun time (try spending an hour riding up and down them chasing a small child...we were up..he was down!!!
3) Dressing rooms, like bathrooms were fair game.
4) INSIDE the storage bins under display counters were great!!
5) INSIDE clothes, hanging on a rack was cool too.
6) OUTSIDE the store on the lil pony (or whatever ride that store had)
7) Talking to any and everyone he could get to listen ( these two are great for parental heart failure)
8) IN THE CAR.......now this one really got us...He was redoing the glove compartment for us!!

Ok, so we finally got him old enough for school, and as I said, day three we began what would be a life-time of US Vs THEM.
They wanted US to control our child, but THEY refused to co-operate with this procedure. Some of the adventures that we encountered along the way to his finally getting him onto a medication are. ( now if you DO NOT have a hyperactive child these will not seem funny or bring tears to your eyes)
1. He kicked a first grade teacher (third day of school)
2. Told the principal her office needed to re arranged
3. Tried to climb out a window of the class-room
4. Got playtime outside taken away for not paying attention IN class ( now THIS is really dumb when you think about it.)
5. Allowed a friend to stick a pencil in his ear, which broke the eraser off INSIDE his ear (he neglected to tell us about this until it became very infected, which required a trip to the emergency room AND surgery to remove)
6. Threw a toy truck to a friend (not in anger either, which split the kids head open)
7. rode his trike down a steep hill, over a block of wood, playing "Evel Knievel" (THIS continued well into his teens with various methods of transportation)

The quest for medication continued. We needed to have a school recommendation to have him see a doctor that would prescribe the medications. THEY refused until he was seven. Finally, we saw the doctor and were told that he was not only Hyperactive but suffered from ATTENTION DEFECIT DISORDER also...That explained his over-all inability to finish ANYTHING. ADD is a "syndrome" because there are so many different things than can appear as symptoms, causes and effects. Our son was lucky, he got 100% on that test!!!
PARENTING A CHILD WITH ADD is HELL
We had to learn that even with the medications that his little brain could out think us with no effort, and that there were some words that escaped him totally. "NO" and "NOT" were key here. If I said "Do not go out" all he heard was the "DO go out" However these same two words were KEYS to HIS vocabulary! I would say "Go to bed" "NO" was his reply.
Here are some of the highlights we shared as he grew from age seven to 17....and this was ON medication (it helps, but does NOT cure anything)
1) At age 9 he saw a little bird on the porch. Got a BB gun and shot AT the bird, blowing out the sliding glass door to our house.
2) At 11 he shot at a rabbit, and dropped it dead...and was hysterical for three days because he killed the bunny he wanted to play with.
3) Disappeared at 5pm only to be found at dark a mile away with two friends (they were 7,8,9, ) at the city dump, playing on the tractor!!!
4) Ice skating on a pond alone at 6 am
5) vanishing and then being found UNDER his bed, laughing because we were looking for him.
6) Walked the Walls (yes, I said WALLS!!) in the hallway for fun.
7) climbed onto the roof as a regular thing (without a ladder).
8) did only barest amount of school work, figuring "B's " were OK.
9) Accused of cheating in Jr. year because he got an "A" on a test (the child has since attended college, earning an AA, BS and now DC with a 4.0 average).
10) climbed to the top of a 50 foot oak tree and refused to come down....(until dinner was ready, of course)

AS HE GOT OLDER HE:
1. Took up skydiving as a hobby
2. Got and still has a Motorcycle (laid them down a few too, without injury)
3. White water rafting is FUN
4. Did rappelling as a hobby NOT required by Army.
5. Scuba dives and now into cave diving.
6. Spelunking is a new hobby.
IF IT IS DANGEROUS HE WILL DO IT!!!! I could go on and on, but want to mention that we also have a second son that is also ADD. He, thank Heavens, is NOT hyperactive (compared to raising the older one for seven years be fore the second son was born) Our Second son, also encountered many of the same problems as the first, as far as school went, but because we were more educated in the care and raising of an ADD child (I went to college and majored in exceptionalities too) we had an easier time with the second one. He too is into danger. He is a fire fighter with a motorcycle and skydives for fun...NEVER A DULL MOMENT.

THINGS YOU NEVER TELL A KID WITH ADD:
1) "We'll go in a minute (a sec equals forever, so tell him a precise time)
2) NEVER ask them to do more than a single thing at a time. They will remember first and maybe last thing you mentioned.
3) DO NOT restrict from outside play as punishment. ACTIVITY helps them to run off energy (a parent saving thing indeed!!)
4) Keep after their school to assist child and to keep you informed of any changes (good as well as bad)
5) DO NOT fall into the trap that YOUR child can be medicated into being "good" which allows teacher more time for other kids.
6) Work with child at home....in brief time spans.....and often...do not expect them to "go do all homework"(...not going to happen in YOUR lifetime)
7) ADD kids are NOT clean freaks. The difference between floor, door and drawer a concept NOT known to them.

Raising our children was never dull It was a constant turmoil, an adventure and we were very unsure of ourselves as parents. Somewhere along the line we did something right. Today there are MANY groups to assist parent's of ADD children. I am listing some links where you can find others enduring the life that YOU are living....where you feel alone.....where you feel like a "Bad parent" YOU are not. You are normal and you will survive and so will your kids!!!!
We are proud to say that BOTH of our sons survived childhood and grew into fine up-standing men. C was selected as NCO of the year for the US ARMY in 1991 and has maintained a 4.0 average in college, graduated from Chiropractic school Suma Cum Laude this past June and is now in his own private pracice.! The younger one is currently a career fire fighter and also made the National Deans list, and graduated college with honor's:)) THERE IS HOPE AND THERE IS LIFE with and after raising a child with ADD and /or HYPERACTIVITY.

ADD/ADHD LINKS