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One thing i have always told my friends is that "i know women and golf", then, when they are done laughing hysterically, i point out there are some things that i am actually pretty good at. One of these things would have to be traveling and, another, annoying the hell out of my friends. So i jumped at the chance to combine these two passions in the form of a trip with Bob Levy to Canada! or , as bob says and had me saying by the end of the trip... Canerder! Anyway when bob travels all he asks is that you remain quiet and motionless yet awake the entire ride, this way he has someone to yell at whenever he gets lost or needs help deciding between McDonalds or Burger King, whereas anyone who has ever traveled with me knows that i am constantly talking and in motion except when i'm sleeping (i think) and when given the choice between Mickey D's and BK i always choose both. So already, we've got problems... |
| True story...about 137 years ago, when bob first started doing comedy and the phrase " beat my dick like it owes money" was just a glimmer in a censor's eye, he traveled to Canada with Jim Norton. Apparently, Jim and bob got detained at the border and lost a day on the trip, so bob was drilling me on how to answer the questions at customs. This is a nice little de-briefer 10 miles outside of Buffalo but not 10 minutes outside of his driveway and every 6 mileposts thereafter. Needless to say, i had bob convinced that if he even mentioned it once more i would scream to the guard that i had 12 balloons of heroin up my ass, (which is absurd given that seven balloons is my personal record). Anyway, when we do finally reach the customs gate and the agent asks "why are you here?," Bob nearly has a heart attack as he screams "to see a friend, honest!!!" We only lost half an hour of travel time to the cavity search. |  |
| one of my favorite phrases in life would have to be "it's not the destination, it's the journey" and Canada did not disappoint. After an exhausting nine hour ride, the Ontario skyline was kind enough to treat us to this sunset (right). It's times like this that i take time out from my busy schedule of over-analyzing my life and am grateful that i notice these things. Even Bob noted how beautiful the sunset was as we pulled over to the shoulder of the road and he held me like only a headliner could. (umm, i guess you could probably disregard that last part...) |  |
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Finally, around 7:30, we met our friend Chris Poncrac (left). He's half of the Canadian comedy team of Chris and Larry. (Canadian comics tell the same jokes as us, they just end every joke with the word "eh?" Chris booked us at every fire hall and truck stop on the outskirts of Toronto, (ever heard of Angus, Ontario). Hey, anyone can do Second City, but you make or break your career in the gun clubs of Guelph! He was also nice enough to book us a room at the Pleasant Stay motel. Now, i don't know how the Canadian language differs from American, but apparently pleasant stay loosely translates into American as "hostage situation". One day bob and i tried to order pizza and they had no record of the hotel, they asked "is that the Ramada inn at Brantford? to which i replied "no, it's the Ramada inn at gunpoint!" |  |
